I am the mom of an 11-year-old girl diagnosed with mild OCD, ADHD and nonverbal learning disorder. She takes Paxil (successfully) for the OCD and Adderall XR for the ADHD. She does very well in school and is even in a gifted program. With the Adderall, her concentration has improved and homework is under control. Now her ADHD manifests through impulsivity. She has no “filter”, and verbalizes every thought—no discretion, constant interrupting. Just blurts out everything. (Most awful example—“You have a mustache!” said to a peer riding in the car with us. Yes, she realized it was hurtful and tactless—AFTER she said it.) As the result of her nonverbal learning disorder, she is bad at recognizing nonverbal cues and “reading” people. As you can guess, this combination is a social disaster—just think of girls of this age and how acting in the “right” way is so important to them.. She is very gregarious and yearns for friends, but she has very few friends, mostly those who have known her for many years and are very tolerant of her. No friends in her classroom. Tonight the physician and head counselor called from her new overnight camp (where she is for the whole summmer) to discuss her intrusive, “argumentive” and impulsive behavior that is causing problems in the bunk and suggest that perhaps “adjusting” her meds was in order. Of course I would never consider changing her meds while she was away from home. I am in tears (again) tonight at yet another social failure, praying that she won’t have to leave camp. I so fear the coming teenage years, which are difficult enough for girls without all this. We are considering social skills classes for her in the fall. Am interested in knowing of anyone’s experience with these classes, particularly with a child this age. Also, I don’t read much on message boards about kids whose main ADHD issue is impulsivity, so hope to hear from anyone who is dealing with this. Having trouble keeping my chin up tonight. I hurt for her so. Thanks for “listening”.
Re: Social Skills Problems (Long)
Thanks for your input, lwieland and Cheryl. My daughter tried Concerta, but it had little effect. Interesting how the kids have such varying reactions to the meds. Adderall XR was very promising at first, but it seems to be having less and less effect as time goes on (though I know that’s not supposed to happen), and she’s at the highest dose.. Guess we’ll have to keep experimenting, though my heart is in my mouth every time we try something new (fear of side effects, plus the pressure of having to be the one who decides if this med is better or not). Never would have thought that a speech therapist was the right professional for something like this, but I’ll explore this more. Thanks.
Re: Social Skills Problems (still Long)
Hi - sounds like our kids could be twins! the NLD, impulsive ADHD, mild OCD….gifted, anyhow, just to confirm what Cheryl said, my daughter has really benefitted from her years of individual work (about 3, now we’re done, though never “finished”) with a speech therapist who worked with a lot of LD issues, and understood pragmatic language issues. For instance they would do a unit on saying “I’m sorry” and what are all the ways you can say it and hear it and what do those different tones of voice mean, etc. Also some work on humor. They also did the Lindamood-Bell Visualising and Verbalizing program and I think it really helped with her reading comprehension.
Now, that said, the issue still remains: can our NLD kids GENERALIZE this info and call it up on demand in fastpaced social situations? Often not, they just need more time to think and respond appropriately, it is not automatic, especially when the impulsivity thrown in. We have also done many years of “social skills groups” for girls, now more like group therapy, and they have been important for both learning skills, having a gang to play with, even for a while, once a week. A lot of support and other kids would bring some things they were struggling with so there was a sense of peer support.
RE: summer camp: You probably already prepped these folks up one side and down the other about your daughter’s idiosyncracies. However, if not, it would be worth a trip there to intervene and MAKE SURE that the ENTIRE staff understands how to work with your daughter. A good camp staff should be able to help other kids include her, not ridicule her, etc.
Good luck. Nice to know there’s a twin out there!
without meds?
I’m just curious.
If you do not give her the meds (such as keeping it in her system at all times) do the undesirable behaviors reappear?
If they do, how does this see-saw affect her emotionally?
Re: Social Skills Problems (still Long)
Hi Barbara—
Nice to hear from you about your “twin” to my Kate. You sound light years ahead of us in addressing your daughter’s problems. We have been working with psychiatrists for the last 3 and a half years and they are very ignorant of NVLD issues and solutions. (Hard enough to get them to focus on ADHD.)Concept of speech therapy never even broached. I’d be interested in hearing how you got hooked up with pragmatic speech therapy and social skills classes. Also wonder how you presented the idea of social skills class to your daughter without making her feel like she was a problem to be solved. Feel free to e-mail me privately at [email protected]. Would be interested in sharing experiences with you off-board. Thanks!
Re: Social Skills Problems (still Long)
Hi Jane, I haven’t had a chance to respond but haven’t forgotten your post. Only have email at work and am not here much for a couple weeks. Will be back in touch directly in September if not before.
Re: Social Skills Problems (Long)
Hi!
My 7 year old adhd child just began social skills classes 2 days ago. He is also in the gifted program. A little to early to say how it will go, but our situations sound very similar and I know how your feel. Just wanted you to know .
help
hi my name is drew considine i am 13 and i have ADHD and Dislacsa i do not know how to spell that right. I live in orange county and i grajuated from a school that is just for kids with adhd and reading proublems. I had many friends that have the same inpuslive aditud that your dauter sounds to have. there are many different kinds of adhd and if i knew more about your dauthers simtums i could name the kinds. I have Classic ADHD. My mom found the school that i went to. the school gave my people to talk to and friends jut like me. I have seen that many kinds of Adhd and ADD that kids have. you might want to check the site i believe it is Prentice.com and if you live in californa and are close i would advise that you send her to prentice. I have transforned there and i have went from a 2 grade reading capbilaty to 7 grade in 3 years thought i am not where i need to be i made great pragrase. I have never talk to anyone like this but i have want to for a long time to see if i could hep in anyway. I got off my medicen after i had problems with most all of them. i can control my self to be able to work. i know some people think that there kids will nver get off medicen but give her time and she will do what i did. i would be very glad to talk to your daughter if she has any question and if you are looking for more information about prentice are just need help my mom knows about most all reading proublems and could help. thanks for lisenig and i hope i helped you or can help you.
Drew considine
i hated meds
hi i am 13 and i went on meds thanks to the school i was going to. i went to a school just for kids like me that have reading disabilitys. i went througt a tim when i went out of countrol in 7th and the beginging of 8th grade the teachers complanied about most ever day and thanks to one of my teachers that tooled my what teachers was complaing the most i did not bother her. but when i went on my meds after my school had a meding with my mom i felt werd in side i was quite and did not act like myself my friends did not make fun of me but thougt it was werd. but i went throught many meds and all gave my a werd feeling inside that what not easy to discribe to th doctor. so he changed my meds and i had the same feeling on all of them. the meds i took where aderal and concerta. different dosive and different kids and all gave my the same feeling and i just wanted the parents to know that it is not just that the kids are dong good but what they are feeling like. i felt like i was going crazy sometimes and would get agrey and do things that i would have not done off the medicens so jut telling the parents to ask ther kids what they realy feel on the medincan
Drew Considine.
Re: help
Drew,
Thank you for dropping by. Your note was very much needed. As adults we all like to speculate about what is best for children. It is nice to have a child’s point of view. It is an important perspective.
I will make sure I always check with my son to make sure he feels ok about everything we are doing. Thank you again for the reminder. I am sure your mom is very proud. I would be.
Linda F
Re: i hated meds
Have you received reading remediation? Did the drugs help you focus and get better grades?
Re: i hated meds
My daughter’s boyfriend was tried on medication for a while when he was young. Like you, he didn’t get along well with it at all. He is 20 now and doing very well in university majoring in Physics. He and my daughter both are very hyper but they get along well together and that is what matters. I’m just telling you this to encourage you to look for other solutions and not give up.
Shay is absolutely right; if your problem is in reading and possibly CAPD, the best thing you can do is get help where the problem lies, in real teaching of reading and analyzing sounds. ( My daughter’s boyfriend didn’t get this, and it is still holding him back badly. If I can ever get to spend some time with them and get him to sit down for a while :) I’ll work on it.)
Re: Social Skills Problems (Long)
Just a note to let you know, adderall wasnt studied in patients with impulsivity.Not all Drs. are aware of this or think it’s a big deal.I think you might havefound out otherwise.
Re: i hated meds
I am a mother with a 9 year old. I understand what you are saying. I will not put him on medication. The schools are supporting the drug companies. The drug companies give money to schools who support them.
My son is now in his third school and I finally found a principal that disagrees with medication. I had such a fight from the other two schools to keep my son off of drugs.
There is also a new medication that they are trying to push now but you have absolutely no idea of short term or long term benefits and I don’t believe that this is the answer.
Like to hear an opinion from the experienced child.
Thanks.
Carolyndrewconsidine wrote:
>
> hi i am 13 and i went on meds thanks to the school i was
> going to. i went to a school just for kids like me that have
> reading disabilitys. i went througt a tim when i went out of
> countrol in 7th and the beginging of 8th grade the teachers
> complanied about most ever day and thanks to one of my
> teachers that tooled my what teachers was complaing the most
> i did not bother her. but when i went on my meds after my
> school had a meding with my mom i felt werd in side i was
> quite and did not act like myself my friends did not make fun
> of me but thougt it was werd. but i went throught many meds
> and all gave my a werd feeling inside that what not easy to
> discribe to th doctor. so he changed my meds and i had the
> same feeling on all of them. the meds i took where aderal and
> concerta. different dosive and different kids and all gave my
> the same feeling and i just wanted the parents to know that
> it is not just that the kids are dong good but what they are
> feeling like. i felt like i was going crazy sometimes and
> would get agrey and do things that i would have not done off
> the medicens so jut telling the parents to ask ther kids what
> they realy feel on the medincan
>
> Drew Considine.
Interestingly, that is the aspect of my own ADHD that has caused me the hardest time. A Dr. friend suggested to me it probably meant my dosage of Ritalin was not high enough and upping it a bit did help. THe other thing that would help is speech therapy or a social skills group run by a speech therapist or occupational therapist. What your daughter is having difficulty with are pragmatic language skills, social language skills and speech therapists are the professionals that work with that. Its the NLD that usually is the causative factor in not understanding social language cues and the impulsivity that makes is more obvious.