Have you hugged,slugged or drugged your kid today?

thanks for your apinuen i hve ADHD and that sounds just right that the parents are more consede that you act normal an do good in school that they do not consider what is doing on in there heads and think what cood happen to there feling.

Drew Considine

Our society and culture in many ways are unhealthy and it’s our children suffer for it. Drugging kids is barbaric. Psychiatry has a history of barbarism. Please look into alternative meds. Doctors are not God even though they thik they are. Learn all you can trust your own judgement and love your kids.

Hi Drew,

I am so glad you joined us to give your opinion. I am very interested in what kids are feeling. As a parent of two boys with learning differences, I am just guessing what I should be doing for them, which isn’t always necessarily the best choice. I wish my boys would voice their opinions and feelings like you do. That way I would know what is working and what is not.

Do you have any advice on how to get young boys to open up and discuss their feelings about all of this. I would surely appreciate your comments and hope you continue to visit us here.

Thank you.

I couldn’t agree more, ball.

I just cannot bring myself to (what I consider)”experimenting” with trying to control my child’s behavior with medication so that it is more acceptable to others. Just can’t do it.

Way to go Ball. I had seven kids in my 7th grade LD class and I asked their parents not to put them on drugs, I would deal with it. I would say that there were just one kid that ended up on drugs. I could understand because he has severe asthma and took a lot of steroids since he was an infant. I do believe that he had ADD due to this. The rest of the kids, I taught them to read, put super structure in my classroom, taught them to visualize language, taught them strategies to organize themselves and we all made it and most went into teamed classrooms and stayed there in eighth grade! It was wild, but it can be done. My kids didn’t sit at their seats all day, they walked around when they could but when they had to sit they did. We took it one step at a time, 5min. went into 10 min etc. We want all of our kids to be the same, the individualism of the sixties went out the door. I was raised in the 60’s and I sure wouldn’t want to be a kid now. Where were all of these kids then? We were all active kids but noone said that there was something wrong with us or our brain. Our society is into quick fixes and that is what drugs are all about. We don’t really care what it is doing to our kids: insomnia, anorexia, retards puberty, and suicidal tendencies. When ADHD was a new condition, it was really diagnosed correctly, everyone whose child didn’t fit the mold received meds. They looked at history, struture in the family and the school, and was given drugs as the last resort. Now, you can go to doctors and they will just give drugs without trying things like structure in the home, behavior modification, and consequenses at home for behavior at school. I expected my kids to sit and do work when they had to and they did. There are kids that have ADHD but not as many as we are drugging. Drug sales have gone up 65% in the past five years. Interesting that it co-insides with when ADHD was accepted into sped. umbrella.

You remind me of my son’s first grade teacher. In her class the children were encouraged to get up and walk around. I asked her when the school year started about he k teacher’s assertion that my son had trouble sitting still. He wasn’t disruptive but he would just fidget. She said no K child should be expected to sit still for an entire day. She said this while rolling her eyes.
Can you believe that since my child was behind in reading he was taken out of this wonderful woman’s class during reading to spend his time in a very small group with a teacher with far less skills? He didn’t learn to read there buty he did get accomodations for excellent attention. My son can spend hours sitting quietly listening to books on tape without a single fidget. He is a curious child who has a million questions. He loves to learn. His fidgeting is directly related to his lack of ability to process the information being presented. That is why I am working on his processing on various fronts. I am convinced that improving his ability to learn will diminish the fidgeting.

That woman saved my child’s life by encouraging me to take matters into my own hands. This was something she had been forced to do years earlier with her own now grown child.

I have pleaded with the school district to make sure that my son has a teacher like that again next year.
The right teacher can make all the difference.

I know that ADHD does exist and that children who have it need meds. I also believe that it is not nearly as prevalent some think.

Many parents who have found that medications open up a whole new life for their kids will take issue with your sweeping statements. While I’m sure there is some over-diagnosing and excess prescribing, I think you overstate the problem. I was born in ‘51, and I remain convinced that in my school days many kids labeled “bad” or “slow” and then given up on were actually either LD or ADHD—just unrecognized. And the environment our kids grow up in and the demands on them (extensive homework in grade school, multiple after-school activities, etc.) are so different now from what they were then, it’s not surprising that these neurological issues are more apparent and less tolerable. Moreover, the average teacher has too many kids and is too unmotivated (lousy pay, little respect) to move mountains for a handful of “difficult” or “special” kids. So meds may be the only workable response for many. There’s been an incredible increase in asthma in kids in the last 20 years, too, but you’d wouldn’t deny those kids meds, would you?

Jane,
Re-read my post. I mentioned the fact that one of my students that went on drugs for ADHD due to an asthma condition. I also agreed that this was one illness that seemed to result in ADHD if a child was on steroids. I do believe very strongly, that since 85% of the ADHD kids can’t read, teach them how and them try a behavior modification plan. As for making sweeping statements, yes I have, because it is a very serious problem with no true research that I know of. Also, a parent if refused by one doctor, can keep going to doctors and finally get the meds. Again, if any of you know of a research study that really has good true research substantiating ADHD as a neurological condition, I would love to know about it. Maybe there were kids in the past suffering from this disorder, but if this was the case, they weren’t drugged and there were few kids that were behavior problems, but of course, we had highly structured classroom and maybe that made a difference. We also were expected to behave, and if we didn’t, we had to face the consequenses at home. Yes, there were slow learners and mentally challenged kids but these kids still did well in school and we had very few drop-outs.

There is a theory that the anti-biotics that we have given our kids for ear infections and anything else has caused the ADHD condition. This may also be the problem with some kids behavior and lack of focus. I know that the condition exists but not at the high percentage that it is represented in our schools. I just worry that we are medicating too many kids and we have no idea how the meds are going to affect them in the future.

Again, if any of
> you know of a research study that really has good true
> research substantiating ADHD as a neurological condition, I
> would love to know about it. Maybe there were kids in the
> past suffering from this disorder, but if this was the case,
> they weren’t drugged and there were few kids that were
> behavior problems, but of course, we had highly structured
> classroom and maybe that made a difference. We also were
> expected to behave, and if we didn’t, we had to face the
> consequenses at home. Yes, there were slow learners and
> mentally challenged kids but these kids still did well in
> school and we had very few drop-outs.
>

I believe ADHD is a real condition and I know for a fact that a my family tree has ADHD pretty strong on my grandfather’s side. No, never diagnosed, but my grandfather had a variety of difficulties throughout life that today would be obviously (probably) due to ADHD. My uncle did classic ADHD things during his childhood, tried to start college but did not get anywhere and suffered also from personal problems throughout life. My brother had nothing but problems from the starting gate. I lived with this one, 12 when he was born, so I could watch. He was sent home at lunchtime all through first grade, finally placed in a private school catering to LD (preIDEA). He grew into an adult with many issues and problems, decided to become a priest because his self-confidence was so low he did not believe he could support himself, developed a drinking problem (very common for ADHD to develop substance abuse problems) and was ultimately expelled from seminary. That got him to counseling, to a psychiatrist, to a diagnosis of ADHD, to treatment and meds. Today he has his own home, holds a job and TAKES MEDS.

I believe ADHD is real and that people have suffered for centuries from ADHD. The attention has not been placed on it the way it is today and of course ADHD kids were just considered problems, behavior problems, bad kids, etc. I can remember a few perpetual problems who went to school with me. Today, they would be candidates for a diagnosis of ADHD.

I also believe that many (not all) parents were very serious about education when I went to school. This manifested differently than it does today. Parents expected to the school to do certain things, but they were realistic. They knew each teacher taught about 30 children at a time and knew real individualizing of instruction was not going to happen. They expected to pull a lot of weight at home and mine did. They NEVER BLAMED the school for this, education was a priviledge and families seemed to expect to provide as much support as needed. They also had ZERO tolerance for misbehavior in school. If one of us misebehaved and the school called home, even for something trivial, my parents took immediate punative action at home. We could count on it, we did not break school rules or act up unless we planned to be totally grounded for some weeks.

Somehow our society has moved almost 180 degrees and now expects the school do be able to do it all AND do it with large classrooms and without raising taxes.

Finally, I do realize that there are many parents still doing what my parents’ generation did and I appreciate and thank those dedicated and hardworking parents who are doing their jobs well. Lastly, I do not believe ADHD or LD are caused by poor parenting, but can be exacerbated or minimized by weak parenting skills.

We have a neighbor child who is so obviously ADHD to me but whose parents are still in denial. He has barely passed school for three years but then does just fine on the standardized tests. He attends summer school every summer. They finally decided to hold him back this year in third grade, even though his test scores once again are high. He has been tested for LD and he has a high IQ and no learning disabilities. The ADHD evaluations are inconclusive (from psychologists types). The school notes inattentive behavior.

He is a very annoying child—partly because of parenting I think (too busy and a high need child) but also because he simply does not think. He is clearly impulsive. He has no friends at school. In the neighborhood, he plays mainly with my son—who gets annoyed with him often, and for good reason. He is a child to manage.

I know there are parents who run to drugs at the first opportunity but I actually think it goes the other way too. People don’t want to admit that something is wrong with their child. This is what his parents are struggling with, even as their child fails.

My best friend from college’s brother has always been the family black sheep. Barely graduated from high school and a life with drugs. With three nephews diagnosed ADHD, it is pretty clear in retrospect that what was one of his issues too.

Beth

I believe that many children are given med’s for the wrong reasons, being behavior problems. But if a child like my dd clearly is ADHD, withholding meds is unfair, to them, to the family, academically and socially. What kind of life can it be to never be able to sit still, not to be able to focus, pay attention, to be so impulsive, to have no friends because they lack proper social skills ? People are worried about the long term affects of giving med’s but what kind of future do they have if they really need the meds and parents are withholding them? No one should judge or critisize a parent for doing what is right for their child. Not giving my dd meds would be nothing short of neglectful. She can learn, socialize and be a happy , “normal” child only on meds. I do not agree with the term “drugging your child”. If your child was diabetic would you withhold insulin??

Well maybe schools should be a little less demanding and a little more human. We put our kids on steroids and HGH to make the friggin football team. Why not give em speed to make the honor roll and be a nice little automoton in the new world order.

Asthma is life threatening ADHD is not. If fact ADHD is a made up buzz word that very inadequately explains the way certian individuals brains work. God forbid we treat the cause. Hell the ADD industry does not Know or want to know the cause $$$$$$$$$$$ 20% of all children are not defective. What is defective is our schools, parenting, the crap food we feed our kids and the toxic enviroment in wich they live.

Ofcourse let’s not identify the cause because if a cure were found the drug companies would lose $$$$$$$$$
Let’s not try natural remedies or diet changes that would be too hard on the parents and beside the doctors don’t reccomend that. Let’s not try a behavioral approach when it’s so much easier to drug em. Then again because Ritalin acts so much like cocaine on the brain maybe all the kids on it will go to law school.Diane wrote:
>
> I believe that many children are given med’s for the wrong
> reasons, being behavior problems. But if a child like my dd
> clearly is ADHD, withholding meds is unfair, to them, to the
> family, academically and socially. What kind of life can it
> be to never be able to sit still, not to be able to focus,
> pay attention, to be so impulsive, to have no friends because
> they lack proper social skills ? People are worried about the
> long term affects of giving med’s but what kind of future do
> they have if they really need the meds and parents are
> withholding them? No one should judge or critisize a parent
> for doing what is right for their child. Not giving my dd
> meds would be nothing short of neglectful. She can learn,
> socialize and be a happy , “normal” child only on meds. I do
> not agree with the term “drugging your child”. If your child
> was diabetic would you withhold insulin??

I think I told you once before , don’t come here and bash parents for doing what they believe is best for their children. My dd eats only natural, organic foods, I tried behavior mod, natural/ herbal products, and just about everything else available before giving her the meds which turned out to be our miracle. If she did not in fact have a neurological disorder, the medication would not work.

Being a member of the family that I am and being a teacher who has seen several times the results of parents who REFUSE to even consider ADHD as a possibility, I really, really feel sorry for the children who grow up believing themselves to be unworthy and unlikeable. That is a private hell and I stand by and watch situations (occasionally) where the child is rejected by peers (despite efforts by the school staff to help the child and to get others to play with the child, but when you antagonize everyone who comes your way, I cannot blame the peers who won’t be your friend).

I have also seen children who got the help, meds and possibly counseling, turn around considerably and improve the quality of their life.

Why must we take all or none positions? A recent position paper on ADHD, co-signed by a huge group of qualified professionals from medicine, psychology, counseling, etc. has suggested that ADHD is real and that is is UNDERdiagnosed.

I will agree with a portion of your comments.Schools do need to do a better job, and yes adhd is probably overused. BUT, there is a difference in the brain function of true adhd patients and many do require meds and behavioral modification to function to their potential

Of the million of doses given daily, how many are really needed?

Yep, kids can be cruel but kids who are cruel usually have sucky parents.

So what are the current stats? 10% ? 20%? 30%? ADHD is a made up word for a complex neurological disorder.

What is the cause? DUH!! We don’t know and we don’t care. Research, We don’t need no stinking research!!!

I agree with all of your comments to this topic.
I’m glad your child is now making progress toward meeting his/her potentail and happiness inlife.

Give the kid a break. he’s a kid with sucky parents He may be acting out. When I went to school I don’t remember that many kids bouncing off the walls but back then we had a cleaner enviroment and a healthier food supply and teachers that weren’t totally clueless. Have the charletons that advocate drugging kids ever investigated the corelation between ADD and ear infection that have become epidemic in the past 20 years and a boon to the pediatritions?

my son is NOT a behavior problem-he just quietly retreats to his own little world-no teacher has made any effort to give him any special help despite obvious academic difficulties!!! Im lucky to get them to follow his IEP grading guidelines without 2-3 reminder notes a month.

I wish he had the hyperactivity part of the disorder-maybe the kid would get some notice.

Most teachers wont deviate from the given path enough to even attempt the things you do-I applaud you, but Ive got 3 kids(2 gifted teens) and have been through a lot of teachers-90% of them are following the same lesson plans they wrote their first year of teaching.

Keep doing what youre doing and try to inspire even more among your colleagues

Diane wrote:
>
> I think I told you once before , don’t come here and bash
> parents for doing what they believe is best for their
> children. My dd eats only natural, organic foods, I tried
> behavior mod, natural/ herbal products, and just about
> everything else available before giving her the meds which
> turned out to be our miracle. If she did not in fact have a
> neurological disorder, the medication would not work.

I totally agree.

Amen,

d, ADHD adult, parent to ADHD’er

I am really appauled and offended as a paraprofessional who works in the special education dept. and a mother of a AD/HD son that a LD teacher would write what you did. It sounded like a personal problem to me. First of all who are you to try to talk a parent into not medicating there child. I would think that most parents will go by the Medical Profession for that answer. Since you suggested that opinion did you also tell the parents you would PAY the medical cost if it was decided between the parent and the medical profession to medicate the child? Isn’t it whats best for the individual needs of the child? If we made sure that ALL of our teachers were highly qualified to work with AD/HD children then I believe what you call the so called drug sales would not have to have gone up in the last 5 years! You say way to go ball when he or she referred to drugging kids is barbaric. Our AD/HD children have enough obstacles to go through in life they do not need to feel any worse about taking medications for a disibilty they did not ask for! AD/HD is in fact recognized by the National Medical Profession as a REAL disibility. It is a very complex,neurobiochemical disorder.It effects the Chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. They help the brain communicate with eachother. When the neurotransmitters don’t work the way they are supposed to, brain system function inefficiently. Problems result in inattention,hyperactivity, impulsivity and related behaviors. You are so one sided because you really don’t know what AD/HD is and how it effects our children in society. Some kids can’t function without the meds. do you look at them differently? You will say no, but you have said what you really think. I have not met one child on meds who wants to be and further more it is a terrible struggle as a parent to make that decision. My son is no longer on meds, but there is more to the treatment process than just meds. You also mentionthe effects of meds. I as you probably will guess HIGHLY disagree with you and its teachers like you who us parents with disabled children need to keep them away from. Before you are so quick to say the side effects are, I hope you take inconsideration that these children have real issues that they had long before they began taking drugs. Furthermore I recomend you take a class in Crisis Prevention Intervention training so you can better recognize the REAL issues these children are having.You talk about structure in the home, behavior modification, and consequences at home for behavior at school. You say you expected your kids to sit and do there work and they did. And you made this all happen on your own. NO those kids made it happen, they were given choices (maybe), and a lot of educators believe children with AD/HD just have bad behavior but in reality it is children with normal human behaviors that they need to learn to express age appropiately. And yes sometimes meds are required for the child to get a fair and appropiate education. I guess what most upsets me of your letter is that it’s so negative and so closed minded. I hope you have great appreciation that you work for an institution who allows you to do what you say you have. Most do not. They think they know it all. In reality they just have that phobea of the unknowing. very disapointed.Rose

I HAVE to say this…with all respect, are we correct to list these BAD changes, and respond by drugging kids so they can stand it???
YES, some children require these drugs…but I was told by a school psych that I should just “TRY IT” and if it worked, it was the right thing to do…without devaluing the parents/children who must have meds to manage, there is WAY too much of this happening.
Was it Orwell’s ‘1984’ where the masses took ‘SOMA’ so they could bear their bleak, horrible lives and keep on working???
If everyone is disordered, perhaps the system is what needs to change…

Hi Lu-lu!
You might want to check out my post to this group.. I’m ADD and 53.
I know what it was like to have ADD and no medication. I hated school as I could not focus long enough on school work (and homework) to get the work done. When it was done it was of such poor quality I received “Cs”, “Ds”, and “Fs”. So why should I have even bothered doing it in the first place?
I take Adderall (10mg twice a day) and have been taking medication
since I was diagnosed at 41. What a sweet difference it is to be able to follow through with tasks like reading all 10 “Left Behind” books! My creativity has soared.. and I CAN use the 146 IQ God gave me! My son has also been blessed with a parent that DOES understand where he’s at (as I was with my Mom back in the 1950s) Find things your child CAN do well, support their successes and remind him/her that we all have some limitations.. ( I haven’t tried brain surgery yet!) ;-)

Medication does work for many kids and paradoxically kids with true ADD (ADHD) do not get “addicted” to them… There is no “high” and the so called “drugged” behaviour may be just the first time your child’s life that he/she can quietly think without distractions. My son likes to play chess (a mean game of it), read books, watch movies, and be creative when “drugged” ;-). Medication was created to help people and when taken properly it can improve the quality of life!

Do what you feel is best for your kids and don’t worry about the “Trolls”

Dave
David W. McGaffney
[email protected]

This “troll” probably thinks the world is flat also. My suggestion to him is READ then THINK before posting.. Medication used for ADD/ADHD works differently on ADD/ADHD persons than others without it. This is a true paradox.. I have ADD and taking Adderall gives me as much a “HIGH” as drinking a glass of water. Codine on the other hand doesn’t make me sleepy but creates a NASY buzz (high)….
If he would take the time to “THINK” and research he’d find the AMA has many fine articles on how these stimulants work on an ADD/ADHD brain.
The medication I take helps me to focus and sometimes to ignore distractions from “trolls” like him!