She received several homework slips that were supposed to have been signed by a parent and returned. She actually accepted having points taken off her grade instead of having the slip signed, and then she hid them and would check everyday to make sure they were still hidden. Then she received a behavior slip for misbehaving in the restroom and hid that one also. I am not the tyrant that she makes me look like when she hides these things. Like I listed in first paragraph, I usually discuss, if it continues then I lecture and finally restriction.
Re: child hiding papers - oops! forgot to mention
Thanks so much for bringing that up. I always make sure that she knows she is smart and that I’m glad she tried but I don’t think I’ve ever said it’s ok to try and fail. I will talk with her about that….. that it’s not the end of the world.
Re: child hiding papers - oops! forgot to mention
Also, you can tell her this; People who have never failed have never tried.
Re: child hiding papers - oops! forgot to mention
What did your daughter say when asked why she does this? It’s hard to make suggestions without knowing that.
Re: child hiding papers - oops! forgot to mention
Her answer when caught in a lie is always the same: “she lied because she doesn’t want to get into trouble” Upon which I always point out the main trouble she is getting into is because of the lie that was told, not the minor infraction. If she does get punished, it is usually restriction from tv. I had in the past restricted her from a social event but she really needs that input, output of socializing and not able to see tv on the weekend is a real punishment for her.
It sounds to me like it may be important to let her know that failure is an acceptable option. In fact failure is a good thing because it means you have at least tried. As Americans we tend to be too comptitive for our own good. Kids feel way too much pressure to perform. Your daughter is on her way to having anxiety attacks and low self-steem. She needs to know what matters and what doesn’t. I have walked in her shoes and I know how it feels. Let her know that it is ok to remove the pebble from her shoe.