My son is about to recive some extra learning support in a structured study hall as he moves from a 504 plan to an IEP. He desperately needs this as he has executive functioning problems that are not supported enough with a 504 plan. He is HIGHLY RESISTANT to the stigma he perceives will happen to him socially if he moves to this new study hall. He is REFUSING to go to the new study hall as he is afraid of social rejection. We have talked to him about his disability and so has the great staff at school. He says everything in school is going “great” academically, which it is not, and he is totally oppossed to the change. He is a high school freshman and 15. Any ideas? Help!
Re: Teenager with ADD
I think sometimes we discount the actual stigma involved in ‘Resource’ or ‘SPED’ for middle school and up, and I believe that teachers don’t see this at all, so they discount it as being ‘teenage acting up’. It isn’t — pain suffered in HS can have a huge impact on later life.
I agree that a 15YO should have more involvement with decisions about his schooling — will he go for after school tutoring? Why does he think ‘everything is fine’ — is it because he is happy to scrape by, or denial, or??? Is he on a ‘career path’, or does he have any talents, etc.?
This is such a dangerous age…in our area (Ontario, CDA) they can quit school without parent’s permission at 16…best wishes to you that you find a happy resolution!
His wishes will have a big affect on his outcome
I agree with above posters-if he really doesn’t want to, he won’t. Social life is everything in high school for many kids. High school is the place where their friends are and classwork is just something they have to do to be where their friends are.
Have you considered lightening his load? Do one class in summerschool or do 4 yrs highschool in 5 yrs.
I would seek the help of the counselor to assist in both you and your son in brainstorming a lot of ideas together. He needs to explore possibilities-tutoring, sped, summer school -and play a role in the decision process. He needs to ‘buy in’.
I would also seek advice on promoting his self-image.
Re: His wishes will have a big affect on his outcome
We just discovered that our son ( now 18 ) has ADD!! He was in his junior year when diagnosed- somehow he did well in school academically ( socially was not so great) But this particular year, things reversed and he was having a great time socially and not so great academically. The school wanted to take this former honor role kid and place him in the alternative school ( all the kids stay away from the ones in this setting) I would not let them do so- it was a fight and I even contacted the state DPI office but we were able to compromise a situation that made my son comfortable- as a result- his grades went up and he no longer tried to get out of attending school. I really believe the key is to involve the teenager and listen to their needs as well…..
I personally would not make him go. That is just my perspective from my experience with my son, your situation can be totally different. If he sees this as a punishment for not doing well he may very well shut down completely. I don’t know how bad the current academics are but perhaps you could get help on the outside.
My son was in a situation where he got extra help that he felt he didn’t need. I told him that if we move him out he is going to have to put up the extra effort to do the work without the help. He was doing poorly in this class and the school thought I was nuts for moving him out. He did better at home where he didn’t feel quite so bad about himself. He has done 100 times better without the help. He has really stepped up to the plate and hit the ball out of the park. He is extremely motivated to stay out of that situation and will do whatever it takes to stay out of sped.
I provide him alot of extra help on the outside. He understands he has deficits but also understands that with hard work he can overcome them.
I am very encouraging and do not present this work as punishment but rather what it takes for him to succeed.
Good luck with this.