New Diagnosis

Don’t underestimate the internal damage undiagnosed (and untreated) ADHD can cause girls. They can get overlooked b/c their symptoms are more socially acceptable than boys’. But they’re still suffering b/c they know they are somehow different but don’t know why. And they can be working real damn hard trying to keep it all together, so there are burn-out concerns.

Regarding early intervention, unless ADHD affects them educationally, it’s not of immediate concern to the school. That plus all the negative press and contrived controversy can make schools gun-shy about broaching parents about the possibility. ADHD affects different kids in different ways - some social, some behavorially, some educationally and some with the hyperactivity + impulsivity, safety-wise, most have combinations of affects. Plus in our case the whole special education topic can set me off on a rant (not that hard to do) with “Mrs. X, just wait one more year till she fails enough to qualify” (are you kidding me?)

I could’ve lived with my dd’s symptoms - we had until she was 6 and managed (an exhausting challenge but of course you just do it - plus while extremely high maintenance she was/still is a person with a fabulous unique perspective on life). My dd’s ADHD affects her school performance a lot - she has learning differences + the ADHD affects the way she learns.

My suggestion is make sure you are an informed and involved parent. Read everything you can on ADHD. Few teachers understand exactly how it affects learning, but that doesn’t matter - you want a teacher that is compassionate, flexible, creative, positive, open, highly structured and organized, passionate and an advocate for his/her kids - those are the teachers my dd has thrived under. Not all of them understood ADHD, but all had those qualities.

The ADHD will affect your dd in various ways throughout her school life. For example, right now, in 4th grade dd’s teacher is hammering in organization and study skills. While all 4th graders need to learn these things - it is imperative that my dd really really learn them - she can’t just be sitting in class staring out the window while the teacher talks about them. She needs to absorb and make it a part of her school life. She is well - handicapped - when it comes to them. It doesn’t come naturally to her. If she doesn’t get this now, she could fall apart in middle or high school when these skills become expected. So she may fall apart down the road, but at least we’ve done everything we can to date to prevent it and at minimum keep an eye out for it in the future. This teacher also helps her figure out timing - how to approach tests/tasks and break them down first to budget her time. DD is getting so much better at the timed stuff now b/c of this teacher.

There’s a good book called “Understanding Girls with ADHD”. Another one that I want to get is something like “Gender Differences in ADHD”. Try addwarehouse.com for the exact titles and authors.

Good luck.

I’m assuming that you are talking about ADHD-inattentive.

IMHO kids with ADHD-primarly inattentive are frequently overlooked by teachers because they don’t act up and cause problems. They just sit there are stare off into space! Also, many people aren’t aware that ADHD doesn’t always mean HYPERactive! And, although it may be more common in girls, boys also are ADHD-inattentive.

Not only can the inattentiveness hurt the child’s learning (if they aren’t paying attention they probably aren’t learning very well) but it can also damange their self esteem. These kids are often told they aren’t working up to their potential (i.e. lazy), they aren’t trying hard enough, etc.

Unfortunately many books tend to ignore the inattentive side of ADHD and only deal with the hyperactive side. I’ve found this extremely frustrating! My favorite books are “Driven to ” and “Answers to Distraction” by Dr. Hallowell. I also recommend “The ADD/ADHD Checklist” by Sandra Rief. These books are very helpful.

I really appreciate the detailed advice. What I’m thinking is that I need to find out the organization and study skills are best for kids with ADD. She already gets homework so why not start to establish the proper habits. I’m also thinking that I should keep working with her on her reading skills because it would be an advantage for her to continue to be above average on reading to get through timed-tests faster. She still loves to read thank God. I’m thinking that listing after-school activities on paper would help her stay on task. She has already stolen my egg-timer so that she can get dressed for bed faster without getting distracted.

I think you are right about “burnout” because she is trying so hard to please her parents and teacher. At this age she wants to please us. Someday, she might not be so eager to learn to take our advice. With almost all medical conditions, early intervention is encouraged. We are still primitive when it comes to ADHD. It makes no sense to let a child fail first. Face it, deal with it! As you advise, I’m trying to learn all that I can.

Terry

Thanks for the advice. Our pediatrician didn’t do a formal evaluation but from the diagnosing criteria that I have found on-line, I feel Kelsey is mainly inattentive but she does have a small amout of hyperactivity and impulsiveness. For example, during circle time she will not only stop listening to the teacher but she will start walking on her knees. She won’t get out of her chair in class but will squirm. She will impulsively grab food off of her sister’s plate. We took her off the bus because she learned a few new behaviors that were unacceptable like sticking out her tongue or touching her sister’s belongings. None of these really bad behaviors have happened at school yet but we thought that we should nip it in the bud. What next? Impulsive hitting? We couldn’t risk it. Distraction is a huge problem so she does not do well sitting beside another very active child.

I don’t think the hyperactivity is great enough to concern the school so the inattentiveness is the biggest concern now. I will check into the books advised by you and “d” above.

Thanks again, Terry

My son has recently been diagosed with ADD-inattentive. We started him on meds this weekend and he seems so different. His ADD was affecting him behaviorly, but his grades were not suffering enough to have the testing and support from the school. He has been in counseling for three months and he met several of the criteria/characteristics of someone with ADHD.

I am just worried because the meds appear to put him into a zone, he doesn’t talk much, which is not like him at all. He has been such a social bee, but apparently that was one of the problems at school. I just don’t like the idea of my son zoning out.

Are you considering putting your daughter on meds?

Assuming that the ADHD-inattentive diagnosis is valid, if your son is “zoning out” while in meds I would guess that either the dose is too high or that particular med isn’t the right one for your son. There is also the possibility that meds may not help your son. The bottom line is that meds shouldn’t be making your son “zone out”.

You son shouldn’t be zoning out. My 7 yr old son was as dx as ADD/Inattentive. He is on 5 mg Adderall Xr and since the very first day, it has been a tremendous improvement. He is able to focus and he is a much happier child. I see more of his personality. He used to zone out before the meds and would constantly need reminders from his teacher to pay attention, or to do his work. 19 kids would get up to put their folders away when the teacher to told them to but my son will be sitting at his desk playing with his fingers. He had to be called 3 times before he realised his teacher was talking to him. He has been having really “great days” according to his teacher since he started on the meds a month ago. Doing homework with him is now not stressful and it is done faster. He is enjoying life outside school too, and so much more aware of what is going on around him.
He is definitely no zombie.

Hi, I’m not even considering meds at this time because her grades are good and it hasn’t affected her socially. She is more work for the teacher. I’m so new at this that I haven’t had time to research meds. I wouldn’t consider Ritalin because it stunts growth and my daughter is under the 1% line for size now. I can see why you choose meds. It’s all a balance of so many factors. I know that I would risk side effects if I was certain that the ADHD was going to inhibit my daughter from eventually becoming self-sufficient (I’m not going to be around forever.) I also would have to consider how happy my child is. Life can’t be all doom, gloom, and failure. I know some people would disaggree with me. I don’t believe that kids are very resilient. I’ve always thought that in general that kind of statement is to make a parent feel better about bad things that have happened to his/her child. Events in a child’s life will shape his/he personality. We’re looking into adaptations at this point until I notice any significant problems. Terry

You certainly have good reasons for not medicating your child. Meds, in my opinion, ought not to be the first thing we try to help our children. However, you should know that it is not necessarily the case that stimulants cause slowed growth. Some researchers believe that slow growth is associated with ADHD, regardless of stimulant use. Ultimately, the research indicates that most kids with ADHD, regardless of stimulant use, eventually grow to the height their genetic background would dicate.

Andrea

My son is 7 years old and on 10mg of Adderall XR so maybe it is the dosage. Today was his first day back at school after spring break so I am hoping his day goes okay. Yesterday he seemed fine, not “zoning out” so maybe it was just his body adjusting initially. He was hungry when he got home, pleasant, went to sleep better, so all in all it went well.

My son had so much personality before being put on meds and I just don’t want the meds to take his personality away.

EC,
I am glad it looks like the meds is smoothing out for your son. Have you considered reducing the dosage to 5 mgs instead? My son also started on 10 mgs of Adderall XR, and I decided to see if the lower dosage would work for him just as well. So far the 5 mgs seems to being doing its job. He is back at school now and his teacher said he had a great day (on 5 mgs) yesterday.