Motivation

I so feel you— i too am a single working mom and my 3rd grader is also bringing home work i don’t remember doing til 7th grade. Since ADDers learn differently try having him do his homework the way he learns—quick and in short spurts. I got this from an article i read about a mom and the trouble she was having with her Adder. I tried it and it totally worked. Figure out about how much time your Adder can attend to something before moving on. Mine’s about 10-15 min. So I set a timer for 15 min and told my 3rd grader that he had to sit at the table for 15 minutes (his homework was on the table along with some other misc. items)—he didn’t necessarily have to do his homework but he had to sit there for 15 min. When the buzzer sounded he could go do whatever he wanted for 15 min. Mine went straight for the video games— at the end of 15 min i pulled the plug—and told him it was 15 min at the table again-of course he bellyacked about it but that was the rule— we did this for a while untill he got the idea that if he did his homework he’d have all the free time he wanted. He finally got the point and did his homework but when the buzzer sounded i grabbed the pencil and told him his 15 min was up— when the next 15 min table time he was able to finish all of his homework— Now I give him 30 and he almost always gets it all done.

Another thought is tht it might be that there are some undiagnosed LDs rather than lack of motivation. Has the school tested for LDs?

Trudy has a great approach to getting things moving. I’ve found a timer handy for a lot of things. My son has no sense of time so it helps to bring him back on track when he is out in left field.

Mary, is there any way that the person taking care of him after school can get him at least started on it. The only reason that I ask is that my daughter’s ability to sit and tackle tough homework progressively gets worse the sleepier she gets. Some days I’ve had to put her to bed and get her up 15 min early the next day to finish up the last loose ends of homework. What a difference when she’s fresh! I like the timer idea too. Does your school have an extended day service? Do you need to rethink the after-school care? I don’t even let my daughter take the bus home because she gets home too late to fit in homework and some play after school. Best of luck to you.

We focused on the positive - doling out lots of praise for accomplishments (actions, school, behavior, etc.). It is harder than you think to form this habit. People in general tend to point out the negatives only and keep quiet about positives.

My dd’s school disciplines by rewarding and encouraging good behaviors. Years back I thought it was a bit much, but I’m a believer. I’ve seen what it did for my dd and when I volunteer at the school I’m amazed at the good behavior and manners throughout the entire school.

Regarding negatives, pick and choose battles. Pick one or two behaviors at a time that you want corrected. Don’t ‘work’ on anything else until the child masters/corrects those one or two things. He probably can’t handle more than that at one time b/c he has ADHD.

It sounds like he is in a school environment that focuses on his negatives. Then he comes home and it’s another negative with punishments. Poor kid - the cycle has to be broken. No wonder he hates school.

I’d be up at the school talking to them about next year’s teacher assignment. Get one that focuses on positives. I also don’t get why the school is ‘complaining’ about it via report cards. What did they do to prevent it? What were their suggestions? Did they volunteer any or did you ask them? Did you know this was going on or was the report card a surprise? Did you make suggestions? Maybe since he has an IEP for resource room, take the problem to the special ed commitee. See how they can help you fix it.

I’d be ‘in their face’ and learning everything I could to help them help my child succeed. I’ve started out the last two school years with teacher meetings the first week of classes politely suggesting my dd responds best to praise. Those teacher listened and were awesome champions for my dd.

GL

Mary,

Part of what seems like a lack of motivation may simply be his ADHD in action. In a very real sense, people with ADHD have a problem with motivation because they are less able than neurotypical people to inhibit the impulse to stop working on things that are uninteresting or difficult. That may be why your son has difficulty completing his work. Have you talked to your doctor about adjusting (or even changing ) his medication or adding a small after school dose to help with evening homework?

Andrea

I have found with my son who is adhd that tactics that I use often are short lived.But I feel the most important thing which is on going is encourging and boosting up his self-esteem constantly. Good Luck A lot of hard work but the results are happening.

With the dose he currently is on for Adderall its very difficult for him to go to sleep. So I worry about giving him another dose in the evening. I’ve seen some postings here about Strattera. I’m going to discuss that option with his doctor.