Influence of current events

Things that make you go “Hmmmmmm…”

These posters plainly don’t have ADD children, or they would know the truth, so why do they go out of thier way to get involved in the topic? Is it denial? Could they be ADD themselves? I think it’s more than a coincidence that these fair weather posters all write rambling, tangentially distorted facts and when questioned, get defensive. Perhaps these media reigns wake up the resentment of Addults who grew up struggling without diagnosis and treatment. Arming themselves with any information: outdated , untrue, twisted or misunderstood, is the only ammo they have to counter this resentment and feel good about themselves. In that light, I find myself having more apathy than anger for them. I can only imagine what growing up with untreated ADD must be like, the low self esteem, feeling like a failure, knowing you are different and being told all your life you are wierd, dumb or crazy. What I cannot imagine is continuing to deny it’s existance and deny the ability the right treatment has to help you lead a normal life. I think we can all pat ourselves on the back for taking the steps to prevent our kids from feeling these things as addults.

I was just wondering the same thing. Why are these people out there giving this contradictary advices? They don’t tell you that they have ADHD kids or if they have had any 1st hand experience dealing with it but yet feel so strongly about an issue they have no experience in themselves but from only what they have read. I find it very disturbing when they give really bad info, and the kids who need to be medicated aren’t and lose out on so much in their young life. Such needless suffering. So my question is why do these people feel such a strong need to push through their opinions, criticize parents who medicate and frighten poor unsuspecting ill-informed parents when THEY don’t have to live with the consequences and the hardships both on the parents and the children. I get very aggravated grrrrrrrr. I would like them to come over to my house and look after and teach my kid and make his ADD go away and deal with the schools for me. If they have an alternative that works I would be happy to use it.

Andrea!

You are correct! I hadn’t noticed the connection before! Interesting!

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Ed, you said your middle child is ADHD and is succesful and earns more than you and all without the help of medication. So please help us and tell us what worked for your child . What did you do that help him/her overcome the ADHD? I am more interested to hear about what works than “facts” about the medication arguments. If you have found a way to help your kid without medication it would be very helpful if you could share it with us so we can in turn help our kids.

thanks

I am sorry I typed the subject in the “Your Name” field. Still would appreciate your input on how your son overcame ADHD.

Thanks

Theres no a member on this board who hasn’t heard your facts before. Many of us have found the true facts and drawn our own conclusions, thats obvious by our posts. Your not going to change anyones mind. There is no member on this board who couldn’t find more fact that points to poor parenting as the culprit of school violence. Lack of proper diagnosis and treatment of ADD has a greater risk of causing school violence. We could find many stats pointing to Rap music causing an increase in unwanted pregnancy. R rated movies increasing rape. Living closer to a power plant has increased drug abuse rates. C’mon, you can twist anything to whatever you want it to mean. The BS is enless! You certainly should not feel unwelcome for choosing not to medicate. But you don’t need to make people feel bad about their choice of treatment.

There are many many highly regarded doctors, educators and parenting professionals who would say that; by not helping your child with meds, you are doing your child a huge injustice, some would call it child abuse, to deny your child medication when they are clearly sick and suffering. But you don’t read our posts making you feel that way. Beleive me, there are some members who feel very much that way, but respect your decisions as a parent. I think anyone trying to help their child with any therapy that works, will be rewarded and their child will reaP BENEFITS. We came to the decision to medicated our son in our own sweet time (two years) and knew all the facts, probably more than you know, a lot more. Do you think parents just go to the doctor and get a diagnosis and a perscription without any thought to it? Well, maybe some do, but my point is, you won’t find them on the internet searching for answers and looking for advice and searching for commonality. A parent that blindly accepts a diagnosis and puts their child on psychotropics meds without a care in the world, won’t be found on this board. They are sitting home, yelling at thier kids, misunderstanding their kids, abusing their kids, drugging them, not to help them but to make their own selfish little lives easier, without a care to their child. Those are the kids you are talking about, and it’s a lot more than stims making them violent. The stims are a very very very small part of that recipe. Those are the parents you need to reach. You are preaching to the choir!

I don’t think Mr. Dedike is preaching to anyone. If you feel bad about the facts that Mr. Dedike has posted that is not his fault. Fats are facts. Hard science is hard science and conjecture is conjecture.

The many psychiatrists and research scientists who are against drugging children all seem to have immpeccable resumes. It is also clear to me that they have children’s best interest at heart.

As far as preaching to the choir goes much of the information on Ritalin has just been made public. How Ritalin works is still not fully understood so as I see it Mr Dedike’s posts are very appropriate here.

Knowing a bit about child development and brain function myself I believe this is the correct forum to post these facts.

Other poeple less knowledgeable than you visit this site. As an admitted cocaine user I would have to believe that your point of view is a bit skewed in favor of stimulants.

TO believe that bad parenting,greed and enviroment is not the primary cause of “ADHD” is niave at best and certainly a bit dellusional and self serving. Maybe your child is in that .00000001 percent of children that could benifit from that medication.

Another thing that you may consider is being that you were/are a coke user perhaps that is why your child craves Ritalin today.

I was also shocked to read posts telling nervous mom to withdraw Concerta from here son and telling her doing it was safe. That leads me to believe that the choir here is not as educated on the subject as they would like to believe.

Preaching to the choir. I too waited time–5 years– and my son self reports the benefits of the choice I made

Thanks.

For a great board..

Where I lurk.

Rebelmom, that is the best post on this subject I have ever read — and you have probably read the ones I have, so take that as a compliment!

I don’t have an ADD or ADHD kid, and although I resent the school’s ignorance in attempting to have me see my gifted dyslexic artist as ADD, it was, in part, this board and ALL OF YOU with ADD/ADHD kids who helped me stand up against that.

I’m a ‘kid person’ and have done lots of Sunday school, and I’m a Cub Scout (aged 8-10) leader.Some of my cubs have a hard enough time WITH meds — and I knew some of them BEFORE meds (heartbreaking!) — so I support their parents TOTALLY, despite the fact that I am generally ‘meds conservative’.

Everything you ‘educated parents’ describe, has been proven true to me in my 4 years as a Cub leader. I drop in here to hopefully find ways to help their parents give them the skills they need to make friends and have success in group situations, once the meds have made that remotely possible!

This is a parental decision. No-one else should have the right to comment, other than to support that decision.

Every controversial topic attracts a certain number of misguided fanatics. I’d recommend a more helpful occupation, but I don’t want these people dealing with anyone’s children anyway! Best ignored…but posts like yours will help parents struggling with these types in the real world, so keep ‘em coming!

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I did not mean to be rude, and for that I apologize — I was not referring to anyone in this thread as a ‘fanatic’, but I think I inadvertantly let my feelings about some of the controversy in recent months affect my choice of language. Posting fast during work breaks does not always lead to good communication — sorry!

I speak as an individual, with real children in mind, not in general. When you post a general opinion about meds to a person who uses meds for a certain child because the alternative was not bearable for the child, you are walking on thin ice. THIS is where the problem is — read rebelmom’s post. I was referring to THOSE posts as fanatical, not anyone in this general discussion thread.

You can have general ideas about a societal problem (mis-dx and over use of meds) with which I DO actually agree — this is not a problem. But when you post these views in response to parents posting about a specific child, you need to post with great respect for their choice of meds, IMO.

When I joined this thread, I was speaking about ‘fanatics’ in general, which I felt was appropriate to the topic and previous posts. If I, as a ‘med conservative’ who would probably also not use meds for ANY child, can have an open mind and allow other parents to make their own decisions, I feel that anyone can do that.

Any other stance is, in my opinion, bordering on a ‘fanatical’ anti-meds position.

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You don’t remember kids bouncing off the walls because they weren’t put in our classrooms. They were there, believe me, they were there. Your expression of bouncing off the walls shows your ignorance. Most ADD kids only fidget and daydream. Many just sat quietly in the corner of your classroom and never bothered anyone. They got C’s and D’s because no one understood them or how their brains worked. They were the kids you teased and called stupid and weird. Some got by and learned to compensate, but not all, not even most. Where did most of them go? They ended up fine without meds, didn’t they? Sure, if your definition of fine is; filling up the prisons, prostituting themselves on the street, boozing it up 7 days a week at the bar on the corner of your street. They are the parents of the bully on the playground that tortures your daughter, dealing drugs to your son after school, that bum you step over to get into your apartment. Yea Kev, they are fine.

Medication being used as a diagnostic tool is horrible, I agree. There is no accuracy and this is how many many kids end up unneccessarily medicated. There are plenty of reliable testing that can determine this disorder and the need for meds. Any doctor perscribing narcotics to a child without properly diagnosing him is a sorry excuse for a doctor.

I will say I am pleased you don’t think my son needs medication, I never liked the idea myself. I will gladly explain your logic to all the neurologists, pediatricians, psychologists, teachers, school offocials, family and friends who tricked me and my husband into believing there was something neurologically wrong with my son. I can hardly wait for the first C’s and D’s to roll in. Just think of the whole summer without friends. We are looking forward to the decline of his self esteem and watching him self medicating with unmonitored illegal drugs. Thanks Kev, you’ve made me see the light.

God Bless you and all your wisdom.

RebelMom, I wish you would put those two posts on some kind of a link so I could just call them up instead of wasting my break! WELL said. And, sadly, SO TRUE.

YES Ritalin is being over-used. YES we have problems in the schools. But to say that because of those two facts, ADD/ADHD does not exist is truly unfair. And, on behalf of my struggling cubs and their parents, who have WAY enough to deal with, quite terrifying — hence my passionate reactions.

Kevin: If you have watched a child suffer rejection from his peers due to his behaviour, and be unable to participate in the fun that all are having because of his behaviour, and then you watch as, after DX and meds he is finally, gradually, able to participate and finally has a friend or two during the free time activities…even if he is still in trouble for impulsive behaviour with the grownups, I think you have to decide that the meds are a necessary alternative. MAYBE, if that was my kid, I’d try harder to avoid meds — but it is NOT MY KID. OR YOURS. This is why such anti-med comments get people’s backs up on this board.

You see, in addition to the three strugglers who are med-ed, we have 21 others. Out of those 21, at least another 5 are ‘HIGH MAINTENANCE’ types who need constant supervision, excellent behavioural management, etc. Some people might give these kids meds, but they REALLY don’t need them. Maybe THESE kids are the ones you are worried about — trust me, none of their parents post here — they are too busy raising high-maintenance kids! If you really want to help these kids, try e-mailing the local newspaper, school board, parenting groups, etc. to ensure that these kids are not mis-dx’d and given inappropriate medication instead of wise handling and teaching by the adults around them.

Then at least another 10 are just ‘regular kids’. Naughty sometimes, bouncy sometimes, silly most of the time, but can follow directions and run with the group with little effort for themselves or their leaders. The last three are what we call ‘keeners’, who are like 5 or 6 years MORE mature than their age group, and sometimes like mini adults. (NOT one of mine, teehee — but they do exist, just like the strugglers and in about the same proportion to the whole, IMO.) Anyway, both these groups are OK — but in no danger from ritalin or mis-management, so you are ok there.

Sorry, Kevin — you can argue over use of ritalin, and I’ll agree. You can argue frequent mis-dx, and I’ll probably agree. But try and tell me that party line about ‘ADD/ADHD doesn’t exist’, and I start to disagree.

If you really want to help ALL children — you need to listen. PLEASE!

Keven, or whoever he is, does have some real points but he isn’t reaching the right audience. There are uneducated, low income families that do not have the resources to challenge the school’s “diagnosis” but I don’t know how this group can be reached. It generally takes a combination of money, time, networking-ability, and the ability to research on your own to really get to the bottom of your child’s problems. Sometimes you get lucky and have a great doctor or a great school but I think this is unusual. This is my humble opinion and I’m sure there are exceptions to this.

If you have a child in school Keven, maybe you can volunteer in the classroom to help keep unmedicated kids out of trouble. You could help raise funds for schools, try to convince tax-payers of the benefit of smaller classes, write letters to your representatives or whatever you think will help. Trying to convince Moms on this board to take their kids off medication is a huge waste of your time. They’ve already tried everything humanly possible. You obviously have energy and a real concern for this issue and I’m sure that your services would be appreciated somewhere. So, even if you will never believe that there are kids out there that need medication, you may want to cut your losses and put your energy where you will get a better return on your investment. This is not meant to be inflammatory in any way, just an opinion/observation.

Kevin (Ball), no one would criticize you for your belief that ADHD is over-diagnosed and over-medicated because it is a reasonable stance. Your stance that there is not a single child on earth that could benefit from medication is what people find shocking. That’s still OK, it is your opinion. What is truly offensive is that you try to force your opinions on other people who obviously don’t want to converse with you. Then you ridicule them and even post messages using their name. You also pretend your someone in a position of authority to prop up your arguments. Even the New-comers quickly catch on to what you are and you lose credibility.

You never answered my question on another thread regarding you trying to do something useful for these kids. Is that because you don’t really care about kids? Why would you be wasting your time here if you really wanted to make a difference? Surely you can’t believe that anyone takes you seriously here? As I mentioned in another thread, you could use all that energy to help kids. Write letters to senators, raise money for schools, volunteer in schools as an aid etc… I’m dead serious about this. I really think you do have potential.

Ball, can you believe this is all from someone who has chose not to medicate her child at least for now!!!!

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