being mad at the school

There are many reasons families choose to homeschool. You’re choosing it for the same reason I almost did which is to have the madness stop.

Try to get in touch with the other homeschooling families in your area. Spending time with them can help you to get over the understandable irritation you feel when you see how much they enjoy homeschooling.

If I had it all to do over again, I’d homeschool. My son bears emotional scars from his school experience that should sadly last a lifetime.

I think you’re in a for a wonderful adventure and one which will serve your daughter and your family well.

Perhaps the sweetest revenge would be providing a good education for your daughter… and maybe reading up a little on anger because it really can eat at you, especially if you still hold on to the idea that the institution of education should not have betrayed you. You might want to spend some history time on the nature of institutions that instill loyalty and obedience but are not self-correcting… and how unless you’re at the wrong end of their treatment, you think they are just fine institutions and gosh, it’s those unhappy few who have a problem.

Shop around for homeschool support (there are all kinds of groups but it’s good to find a good fit) either live & in person or online.

You are free — but freedom is never as simple as it seems.

Sue…you said: ” You might want to spend some history time on the nature of institutions that instill loyalty and obedience but are not self-correcting… and how unless you’re at the wrong end of their treatment, you think they are just fine institutions and gosh, it’s those unhappy few who have a problem. “

That’s the way they made us FEEL! You are so right. That’s what makes me mad… that they honestly believe their scam, that it’s the parents fault! How could they continue to tell parent after parent to pay a fortune for a tutor without some pang of guilt? I guess one of the reasons I feel so hurt is because my daughter was so looking forward to this school year, and she has disliked school so much in the past. This turned out to be the worst.

Thank you both for your wonderful insights…and both of you were right, we need to feel the freedom by rubbing shoulders with other homeschoolers and are in the process of making that happen.

But since I am still smoldering ( :-) ) might I suggest the upcoming Frontline special on why I think schools are collapsing! I heard a panel discussion on this yesterday on NPR and it’s what I have been saying all along. Schools gunning for high test scores leave children like mine in the dirt. One of the experts/panelists said his daughter taught Italian in a NY school. One day the principal came in and told her to stop, and for the next 5 weeks teach math before the state assessment test. It obviously drove her out of teaching.

I partially enjoy homeschooling because of the irritation I felt in dealing with the school. I think Yeah! I don’t have to deal with them anymore! The teacher had asked me to work with him on reading, math, and handwriting, and then at our first IEP meeting, the committee asked me to preteach his language arts concepts as well. And, his teacher commented that I was the reason he was crying 3 times a day at school! Although, she and his Kdg teacher both stated they thought he was dyslexic. (His dad and grandma are also dyslexic.) They also don’t have any remedial programs for dyslexia in our county, so I am glad that I can provide that help to my son. And also extra writing help, and lots of science experiments (his strength!). Plus, when my son was attending school, tutoring had to take place in the late afternoons. Now he has free time, and can play with the neighborhood kids or whatever he wants to! I think it would be hard for us NOT to enjoy homeschooling after our prior struggles.

Karen

The other thing is spending time with graduates of the PS system and homeschooled students the same age. If they’re like the ones I’ve met you’ll Thank God that you were forced into homeschooling. One girl that stayed with us got angry because everybody in UK treated her like she was stupid and she wasn’t because she’d been valedictorian of her class. . Uh maybe it was because she said things like, ” Is the Arc d’ Triomphe the capital of Belgium or France? Does decaffeinated mean that ,that kind of coffee doesn’t have any calories? What was the Reformation? (She was a Lutheran) Who was Norman? (on visiting a Norman castle) America wasn’t an ally of Russia in WW II. etc, etc etc…

Good grief! It is remarkable, as my daughter and I go through this distance learning social studies book, how many holes she has in her knowledge.
When I was making up the cirriculum to homeschool, it felt great to fill in the gaps in her schooling that I know she is missing.
Also, when I went to college (a long time ago), I was appalled at how east and west coast kids knew so little of my area in the midwest. Now that we live on the east coast, I can see how the public schools ignore much of the world around us, to focus instead on math test scores for their funding.
As she grows and develops and I see her self esteem come back, I know I won’t waste anymore energy on that school that failed us.

Good, that’s what I’d hoped. I know there are good schools out there, but the majority of students study for tests, learn what’s on the tests, and miss out on an education. The homeschoolers I’ve met are remarkable in that they have gaps in their knowledge but they have the desire and the tools to go out and educate themselves. They enjoy learning. My son may never be a high earner, I can’t control that everything go his way, but I want him to enjoy learning in the same way he did before he ran into the school system. I read an article once written by a mother who said that’s the main thing she wanted her children to have because if you have a love of learning no matter what else happens to you -you’re never bored. I thought that very wise. Good luck and don’t look back.

Hello Audrey. In response to your question: How do you set aside that irritation and enjoy having your child home!? I started homeschooling my 10 year old son this year—4th grade. My irritation with the school system has wained over the months. Time heals. One of the best parts about homeschooling was that I no longer experienced the stress that I had when my son was in public school—the stress that came with dealing with the administration, the teachers, the lack of support and services. The best thing by far is that my son is happy now and is experiencing success!! This has inabled me to set aside my irritation. Also, I read teachers’ posts here on this website. Hearing from teachers who really want to help has eased my anger. Also, I send little bits of information ever so often to the teachers and administrators at my son’s old school. Are you planning to eventually send your child back to regular school? If so, than this is a great time-while your child is safe at home with you— to see if you can make some positive change in the school system. Good Luck. Val

Okay, I had a couple of little articles half written and your post inspired me to finish ‘em and get them online (see?? good things are happening already :))… including a short list of my favorite sources for materials for teaching older kids with LDs. It’s at www.resourceroom.net if you’d like to take a peek.

LAST MONTH I STARTED HOMESCHOOLING MY GRANDDAUGHTER SHE LOVES TO LEARN . SHE BE ON THE COMPUTER FOR ABOUT THIRTY-MINUTES A DAY SHE HAS HER OWN LEARNING CD-ROMS . THEN WE WATCH A MOVIE TOGETHER AND THEN I ASK HER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MOVIE . THEN WE START ON WORDS AND LETTERS. SHE KNOWS HOW TO SPEAK CLEARLY. SHE KNOWS HER COLORS AND SPEAK THEM CLEARLY. I ALSO LOOKING FOR OTHER ALTERNATIVE EDUCATION FOR MY GRANDDAUGHTER I DO NOT WANT HER TO GET LOSS INTO THE SYSTEM . AND SHE LOVES TO SING AND SHE LIKE TOPLAY THE ORGAN . AND SHE IS FIVE YEARS OLD. SHE IS A DELIGHTFUL CHILD. MY GRANDDAUGHTER HAS A SPEECH DISABILITY. THE TEACHERS DOES NOT NOW HOW TO EDUCATE CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES THEY ONLY CONCETRATE ON THE DISABILITY NOT ON THE PERSON AS A WHOLE. MY GRANDDAUGHTER NEEDS A WELL-ROUNDED EDUCATION.

There are some great sites on the web to help with homeschooling. http://www.gomilpitas.com/homeschooling/index.html is just one of them. You can also find other homeschoolers in your area and work with them.