I’ve been fighting the public school system for two years now, watching my daughter drift further behind in academics and miles away in sadness. Yeah, way past time for the madness to stop.
My now giggling daughter (14, ninth grade or whatever) just traipsed off to bed with much gentle urging and me finally saying, “I’m off-duty now! Don’t knock on my door unless you’re bleeding or dying.” I know she’ll be back three or four more times tonight, but it’s okay, we’re getting there.
She’s been smiling all day. Her face doesn’t have that pinched expression, that ohmigod what’s happening next to me look. Serene, unlined, unworried, joy. The reason? Well, we both came to the conclusion that this public school thingie just isn’t working out. I’m still going through with the next ARD, but if they come back with anything other than complete homebound status with an online charter school, I’m going to formally withdraw her and get back to homeschooling. She’s losing skills as it is. In the two years since putting her back in public school, she’s dropped two grade levels both in math and reading. By the end of this summer, she’ll be back up to where we were in seventh grade…pre-calculus and great books…meaning classic education with Shakespeare and Milton, Ovid and Homer.
We’re both looking forward to it. My husband wasn’t so sure about it, and questioned whether it would work. We had some problems before…but as Christa pointed out and I agree, she wasn’t stabilized on her meds then and had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It’s really sad to know that even if I just threw some books at Christa, and she did nothing but study on her own, she’d learn more than they’re teaching her at public high school. Besides, as I told him, we have no choice. If she stays in public school much longer, it will kill her one way or the other. Six Flags is hosting a day for homeschool kids and nothing but homeschool kids…I’ll hook up with the other moms again, and she’ll find friends like her again, gentle with true social skills.
We’re already making plans for art and music appreciation, not ‘art’ where kids putz around with materials, although we take time out for some artsy/crafty stuff…she’ll be able to tell the difference between a Renoir and a Degas or Dali, surrealism from impressionism to ash-can era or Picasso’s blue. Just by listening, she’ll know whether it’s a Bach, Beethoven or Brahms…a Vivaldi or Grieg…and we’ll plan learning trips again…to museums, art exhibits…going funky down to Deep Ellum or traveling all the way to Sixth Street in Austin, where we’ll get a little side-trip on Texas history. Experiential learning is the best of all….stays the longest. Horticulture will be to identify native Texas plants and create a scrapbook of preserved leaves or pressed flowers. PE will be daily trips to the Y where we have a membership, indoor swimming pool and workout room.
I remember when we were studying Gray’s Anatomy, and she did a wonderful 3-D rendering of the brain, identifying the lobes in different colors. Yeah, I miss it too. It was fun. It was exhausting, but it was fun. I got to learn right alongside her. I stink at math, but they have some fantastic computer programs for that…if we get stuck, I’ll get some college kid to tutor her through stuff I can’t figure out…or we’ll do like we did before, find a neighbor who loves math so she has a resource.
If we felt like it, school could take place at midnight…or anyplace, anywhere. Everything was an opportunity to learn. Nutrition took place at the grocery store…read the labels, identify which vegetables are highest in which vitamins, then go home and study vitamins.
Yes, some lessons have to be planned, and some formal learning has to take place…but in the space of four or five hours, we get done what it takes them a week to learn in regular school.
I feel soooo relaxed…so does she. This is good. I’d much rather spend my time and energy focusing on her education in a positive manner than fighting the damn system for every drop of learning she can get, and making her so unhappy because the other kids can’t appreciate her and tease her unmercifully.
The public school system is so broken, I can’t even begin to know where to fix it, and I’m tired, so tired of trying. I thought I was tired of homeschooling. I thought that maybe I didn’t have what it took to get her through high school on our own. I thought perhaps she needed to be around kids her own age. Boy, was I wrong, and what an expensive lesson it’s been…not so much in money, but in tears, hospitalizations because she’d break down in school or about school.
No more…whatever it takes, we’ll get to the end of the educational rainbow.
Bonita
Re: Feels good to be home
Bonita,
I’m so glad you’re going back to home schooling. I know I have ahd the same thoughts as you about my son being around other kids. I also know he is different and special but they only see the differences in him. We started home schooling 3rd grade(we are in our 2nd yr now)and I already have some problems in the math area but my husband has a minor in math so he can help with that. Michael is a diferent child since we are home schooling. We have our bad days but we don’t have major breakdowns EVERY day!!Did you see the PBS special on Misunderstood Minds last pm? It was veery good but unfortuanately it did not tell the real way schools ignore different learning kids.In our case they completely ignored anything I said and what the doctor said also. I was not going to wait until my child was completely broken before I took action. That is what they want you to do.They have to be 2 yrs. behind before they will even think about accomodations here(AL). We had to do a lot of unschooling before we actually started learning again since he was so turned off to learning.Wwe are making great strides now. He has ADHD andproblems spelling and in computation of math as well as written expression.
We are working on visualization techniques and it seem to help. Good luck and God bless you and your daughter. Jan
Re: Feels good to be home
I strongly, highly recommend the MathBlaster series for kids…it’s so much fun, and the learning eases its way in there…especially Math For The Real World or Algeblaster. In Math For The Real World it’s a game where by practicing certain math skills in games along the way, the kid gathers up enough money to make a music video. It’s so cool! You gotta try this program or series of programs.
Bonita
Re: Feels good to be home
Jan I am very much in the same boat as you. My son is in grade two and absolutely hates school work. It is so frustrating to watch the school try to change his “behaviour” without altering anything else. He has a very hands on style of learning but that cannot be accomodated to Nathaniel because it’s not the usual way of teaching.
My son, Nathaniel, has signs of ADD and I was wondering if you have seen a difference in your son in that regard since you have homeschooled? Right now I am not a real supporter of medicating him until we try all others styles of teaching him. Is your son on Ritalin? I am amazed at how much I have learned just in the last month about learning disabilities. I have to educate the school so he can educate my son? Thanks for your time.God bless, Jen
Re: Feels good to be home
Jen, I am afraid that the school doesn’t want to be bothered so they just pretend everything is great even when a child is frustrated. They seem to think,”Shape up or ship out!”. We don’t take ritalin anymore because of the side effects.He is on Imipramine now and it is not as noticeable a difference in his attention span as the Ritalin but he is happier and can sit and do a long division problem now. Homeschooling has not helped with the ADHD per se but he can be more organized and not as frustrated because we are one on one and there aren’t as many distractions. Think about how many distractions there are in school:other kids, loud noises,going from here to there all day long. No wonder kids that are bored and frustrated get so overloaded at school. His 2nd grade teacher told me that between library, art, music, recess, lunch etc. etc. that she only got 20 mins at a time to teach. She said that by the time she got the kids settled down she only had a few mins. for them to do their work.My child doesn’t make transitions well so therefore he got hardly any work done in this environment.His teacher also told me that they only get 2 hrs of instruction a day!! We get in 4 hrs a day at home and it’s one on one. His achievement scores went up from 2yr.8mo reading to 6grade0mo. after the first yr. of home schooling. His math went up 2 grades and his science went to post highschool!!This was last yr in 3rd grade. I definetly see the benefits and it also has made our relationship much more close.You have the benefit of knowing your child and trying anything that works if you homeschool. Hope this helps. Jan
Re: Feels good to be home
Good for you both!!! When our heart tells us something and we listen, we have done the right thing - no matter what the out come. My home schooling decision was a difficult one. And early on I had my doubts because I experienced burnout. Now, however, we are relaxed and life is good. No more tears or night terrors. I knew home schooling was right, it just took me a little time to get there, and then to find our confort level. I cannot imagine my 7 year old in a traditional program. He would not grow as the person I know he can and will be. Blessings - Sharon K
Re: Feels good to be home
Thanks for the encouraging words. There are not too many people in my close circle of friends who understands what I am going through. I look at my children in a totally different light and realize that they are not all a cookie cut out of other children. They are different and require a different way of learning to succeed. Jan, I can’t believe the improvement in your son! Wow, what an encouragement and a testimony to all your hard work. I am actually excited about homeschooling now! Thanks from Jen
Re: Feels good to be home
Hey Bonita,
Where do you get this MathBlaster and what ages is it for? Sounds great. Jen
Re: Feels good to be home
I’ve found the series all over…even at Wal-Mart…it’s a highly popular and awarded series of programs. It’s well worth looking into.
Bonita
Re: Feels good to be home
THIS IS MY FIRST EFFORT AT LEARNING SOME OTHER WAY TO HELP MY SON OTHER THAN PUBLIC OR A VERY EXPENSIVE PRIVATE (THAT I’M NOT COMPLETELY SURE ABOUT). MY SON ADAM IS 13, HE HAS AN EXTRA MALE CHROMOSOME WHICH HAS ADDED TO HIS DIFFICULTIES. ADAM HAS AN IQ OF 81, IS ADD, SLIGHT LANGUAGE AND SPEECH DIFFICULTIES, BIG FOR HIS AGE, CLUMSEY, AND QUITE FRUSTRATED WITH SCHOOL. ADAM IS ALSO A LOVING, OUTGOING, GENTLE, FRIENDLY,AND COMMON SENSE KNOWLEDGABLE AND MADE A’S IN CONDUCT UNTIL THIS YEAR WHEN SOME B’S SLIPPED IN (I FEEL BECAUSE OF HIS DISINTEREST IN SCHOOL). ADAM WILL BE ENTERING THE 7TH GRADE BUT ONLY WORKS ON A HIGH 3RD OR 4TH GRADE LEVEL IN ACADEMICS. I FEEL EXUASTED WITH THE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM, MY HEALTH - PHYSICAL AND MENTAL - IS NOT GOOD; BUT, SEEING MY CHILD AFTER BEING OUT OF SCHOOL LESS THAN A WEEK WITH SUCH A WONDERFUL ATTITUDE AND ENTHUSIASM I AM CONVINCED SOMTHING HAS GOT TO BETTER THAN WHAT WE HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH. IF ANYONE HAS KNOWLEDGE OF A PROGRAM THAT WOULD HELP MY SON AND MYSELF WITH COST LESS THAN $5,OOO A YEAR PLEASE HELP ME! I AM A SINGLE MOM AND A NURSE WHICH REQUIRES ME TO BE AWAY FROM HOME A FEW DAYS A WEEK. HOMESCHOOL MAY BE IT!
What a wonderful letter. Thank you so much for sharing your heart…my ex-husband…(who made my daughter type for 3 hours yesterday because he is intent on her “going to school”!) …needs to read that homeschooling doesn’t have to be an alternative institution!