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finding therapist to help

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

Hi. I have a child who has panic attacks, school phobia, anxiety and anxiety induced irritable bowel syndrome. Among other things. We homeschool, but not very well. I have been to therapist after therapist. There is little progress. Most seem to blame me - (I should push him harder, I should set a good example by going back to college, if I was more of a risk-taker he would be more of a risk taker…) Most of the things said contradict things the previous therapist said. One therapist said that until he can look at and work through feelings about some childhood abuse, then he won’t grow. I JUST WANT THIS KID TO GET A HS DIPLOMA. I am a single parent with other children that are fine. I am about to change insurances and will need to find another therapist. What do I look for? We have a nice psychiatrist, but he is currently not taking meds. After he quit, his personality improved and he wasn’t as headstrong. I’d like to find some folks that have similar problems with their children to talk to. Would appreciate advice about finding a therapist who uses a treatment plan and sees progress. Thanks.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 10/19/2002 - 2:39 AM

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Just some isngight from someone who went through 4 therapists before I found a fit, and thatis firstly that “fit” is important. I would go with intuition when interviewing a therapist, that gut feeling you have about whether this is right or wrong. I would also recommend trying to find someone to talk to yourself who is not a friend, a priest, rabbi, minister, or if you are not religious maybe a social worker who specializes in parenting. THey would be able to refer you to good resources to help your son as well as help you sort out your frusteration. I would ask the therapist some of the following:

Do you see a lot of teenagers with anxiety/panic?
Where do you believe anxiety and panic can come from?
Do you offer family sessions where I can come? (they will not tell you anything said in confidence by your son if that is a concern but could be an excellent facilitator).
How do you treat these disorders?
Do you know of any support groups for teens with such difficulties?
What type of therapy do you do (psychoanalyis, cognitive-behavioral)? You probably want the latter with a focus on actions to change behavior positively rather than just digging upthe past.

Hope that helps.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 10/19/2002 - 9:57 PM

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Hi, I have a son with some of the above conditions. We have been down a long road and still have not found all the answers. But I will say this, I do not think those disorders will just go away with therapy. I think it takes a combination of medication and counseling/therapy. If one anti-depressant didn’t work, try another. It often takes months to get the dosage right. I did not feel that the counseling he had while not on meds did any good whatsoever. He needs to be feeling better to be able to benefit from therapy/counseling. I just contacted a new psychologist last week and we may try again now that he is on medication. My son did graduate from high school, but he achieved far below his potential. He has been in college, but is taking the semester off. He has good and bad times. All I can say is I feel for you and understand. About all I can do for my own child is pray that we can find some help that will make a difference.

Janis

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 10/22/2002 - 1:00 PM

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I have been researching neuro biofeedback for my own son’s inattentive symptoms. There is much discussion of how anxiety plagues ADHD kids. I will take a stab at explaining this:
There are 3 basic levels of attention that can be measured on an EEG. The first is the inattentive calm state which is the daydreamer. (my son) The second is the attentive calm state which is the focused athelete (think Tiger Woods) The third is the anxious attentive state. This is the state some people need to get to in order to pay attention. They can’t regulate themselves to stay in that middle zone. This third state reminds me of myself when working as an ICU nurse. I could do anything but it was exhausting.

Neuro biofeedback involves using electrodes placed on the persons head that measure the state of attention. This is somehow attached to a computer and the patient plays a video game using there level of attention. If you go to the anxiety or the daydreamer state the game stops. It trains you to stay in the middle zone. This program is used by some psychologists so it could possibly be covered as a form of treatment for anxiety.
It looks very intriguing. My son won’t start until January because of an insurance issue.
I would just plug neuro biofeedback into google if you want more info.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 10/24/2002 - 3:47 AM

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I’m going through the exact same thing and it is so difficult — I still need to rule out a physical illness (gastrointestinal problem).

I’ve been doing a lot of reading. Apparently, medication and cognitive behavioral therapy is the recommended way to go.

I’m searching for a therapist myself. My doctor told me that cognitive behavioral therapists that work with children are hard to find, but it might be easier to find for a teen.

We tried Klonipin, but it really depressed my child. The SSRI medications are better. I’ve also heard people have had success with BuSpar.

I think these panic issues are definitely hereditary.

A pretty good website: www.aacap.org Under Facts for Families, they have fact sheets. I believe Panic Disorder is #50.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 10/28/2002 - 8:37 PM

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Hi - Thanks for all your ideas and comments. It really helps to feel that I am not all alone. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person on earth who doesn’t think this kid is the world’s greatest actor. I have to keep reminding myself that he was diagnosed with panic and anxiety disorder. Does anyone else run into this where family, therapists, etc. say that because you are homeschooling you are keeping him from growing???

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 10/28/2002 - 11:30 PM

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Sabine,

I did not homeschool my child with anxiety disorder, but it would have been far better if I had considering the negative influences he had at public high school. I find that family members have very little understanding of mental heath issues and think the child should just “get over it”. It almost makes me avoid going to certain family functions due to this ignorance. It is hard enough to have a child with these types of problems without the “expert” opinions of people who think they know what the “real” problem is. My father-in-law just thinks our son is lazy and needs to get a job. That would fix everything. Right. He’s had a couple of jobs and just can’t handle the social anxiety. But the good news is that he went to see a clinical psychologist today that we liked very much! Hopefully between the medication and therapy, maybe there is hope! Just igmore those who do not knwo your child as well as you do!

Janis

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 11/01/2002 - 9:07 PM

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Until/unless they’ve “been there” — they just don’t believe it. Unfortunately the “greatest actors in the world” look about the same as the kids who really need the structure and help of staying at home… to the stranger on the outside.
They can make all the judgements they want — but *they* won’t have to live with the results. You’ve been given that job and you’re doing it to the best of your ability. They can make the decisions for their kids.

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