I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 6. I had one friend from the age of 5 to the age of 11. He moved away and as a result I haven’t had a close friend since. I am a senior now and only have a few friends that I actually care about. My problem is that I’m annoying. I try not to be. I just wan’t to sit there and be quiet. Every once and awhile I get the urge to say something completely off the subject. I am fully aware I am doing this but I can’t stop myself. What could/should I do?
Re: Not good with friends.
On the Home Page under questions for Dr. Silver he talks about “coaching”. The web site he refers you to looks interesting. Perhaps there is a coach in your area. I know that with my son I try to suggest topics he could talk about. I also tell him to notice how other people talk or act in social situations. (Pick good role models). Take care.
Re: Not good with friends.
I didn’t make it through my first year of high school but eventually I made my way to university. I litterally had to sit on my hands to keep myself from raising them to comment in every other thing the teacher said. Friendships are easier with people who are also quirky. Being able to acknowledge and even laugh at my social ineptitude helps. Recognizing what my strengths are and what I have to offer friends helps. A silly thing I learned from my Aunt Betty was cross my fingers when I think of something I want to say and holding that thought there until it’s appropriate to talk. Both my Aunt Betty and I have been seen with all our fingers twisted in knots.
Re: Not good with friends.
It’s hard for me to talk to people sometimes and it is hard for me to talk to guys.
How’s everything else? How’s your school work and what are your plans for after high school? If everything else is going well, considering taking medication for your ADHD may not be what you want. If, by chance, you are taking medication for your ADHD, you might want to have this same discussion with your doctor.
Are there any support groups in your area? Do a on-line search. There is CHADD which has gatherings for kids with ADD and that’s not the only one. Many national organizations have local chapters the intention of which is to provide those who need it with friendships and support.
While close friends are great, it’s also true that more than a few people go through life with a small circle of friends they care about and never have just one close friend. You might make friends at college or in the next phase of your life. Until then, would it be possible to become closer friends with any of the friends you now have?