My son (5) is just starting kindergarten and already starting to “alienate” some
of the other kids, as his teacher has put it. He was diagnosed with a learning
delay and somewhat of an auditory processing disorder. He has a great team and teacher at school working with him and they seem pretty optimistic. I guess I’m just feeling discouraged because I know he wants friends, he wants a “best friend” but has such a hard time “playing nicely” with other kids for any length of time. I’m arranging playdates all the time for him, it floored me to hear from a friend how her son has always had a ton of playdates. I thought nobody was asking my son over because it’s just more difficult with boys. NO ONE has ever asked my son over for a playdate. It really breaks my heart. I guess I would love to hear from anyone in the same boat. I feel like we talk all the time about appropriate behavior and how his behavior impacts other kids, but he just doesn’t seem to get it. He blames others when I ask what happened, he doesn’t seem to think he has any responsibility in these situations. I just don’t know what to do and I feel very very sad for him.
Re: Just starting school
Hi Julie,
Don’t beat yourself up over people not inviting your son to their house. It may be totally different than you think. My 9 yr. old has friends that are constantly coming to our house, that is fine with me but my son would like to go there sometimes. The sad issue is that some parents would prefer to get their kids out of the way but don’t want to bother taking a turn having another kid over.
I agree with doing activities instead of just expecting 5 yr. olds to play on their own.
Good luck.
Re: Just starting school
My son, 4 turning 5 in Dec, was in Kindergarten. In one month the kids have labeled him as the “bad boy”. He is completely isolated…. no one asks him for play dates. Today I and my fiance have decided to pull him from school. It breaks my heart and I am full of anger. I understand your frustration and would love to keep in contact with you.
Calais
Re: Just starting school
My son, 4 turning 5 in Dec, was in Kindergarten. In one month the kids have labeled him as the “bad boy”. He is completely isolated…. no one asks him for play dates. Today I and my fiance have decided to pull him from school. It breaks my heart and I am full of anger. I understand your frustration and would love to keep in contact with you.
Calais
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Your son is young and things may change. My own son has always had trouble with friends too. He is demanding and kids who played him and now befriend need to be able to put up with high energies, speech issues, and demanding ways.
As mothers we do feel sad. Some people go through the whole lives always insisting it’s other people’s fault.
When my son was younger, I would plan times to bring home another child and then I’d structure that time. Often I’d take my son and another child to the movies. That was such a structured experience, it had to be successful. There wasn’t any independent play. It helped him to feel he did have some friends and it was a fun afternoon.
A teenager now, I can’t help him that way anymore. He’s on his own with finding and keeping friends, for better or worse.
Consider structured afternoons under your care with an invited child along. The zoo, the movies, watching a movie at your house.
good luck.