I need some help with my grandson, Maybe one of you have had this problem. He is in kindergraden and very shy around adults. The teacher keeps sending notes home that he doesn’t know how to count objects past 2 and doesn’t know his colors. The thing is he does all these things at home. I have sent letters to school explaining to the teacher that he is shy and if she could send me any sujections on what might help hem. Each week it is a dread to open his planner book. Its always( hes behind the other children and what he doesn’t know). I know its just because hes shy and probley freezes up when he has to talk to the teacher.Any help or susjections on how to handle this would help me very much.
Re: help with grandson
Thanks Marion for your reply, You have brought up some very interesting points. You have hit it right on the head about being around a lot of people, He has never interacted with other children much.Its not that he wouldn’t love to play with other children but his parents sheltered him to much.Their point on this was ( they didn’t want him to pick up on bad behavor),And has spent most of his time with his grandparents and aunt. David gets Flustered very easly,and also had a very harsh temper when he doesn’t get things to go his way.As far as his class size ,28 children per class.Thanks again for your help.
Re: help with grandson
If his shyness prevents him from participating in class or answering his teacher’s questions fully, that is concerning and I would start there. Even with this young a child, I would talk with him gently about how his shyness is getting in the way a bit of his work in school.
Is his teacher warm? Is she friendly in her manner to him and other children? If not, that deserves to be explained to him. Children will naturally be more shy around adults who are not warm but your dear grandson can be helped to better understand that even when teachers are not warm and friendly, it is best to try to answer their questions fully.
Try to make other family members aware that his shyness is not serving him well and help them to help him be drawn out a bit more. Try perhaps to give him small jobs around the house for which he might earn great praise. He needs to have his self confidence boosted.
Think about asking the teacher if you could come into the classroom and quietly observe. Your presence there - even for a part of a day - might mean a great deal to your grandson and help him to know how much you care about his comfort in school.
Good luck.
Re: help with grandson
I’d like to give thanks to Marion and also to Sara for helping me try to understand whats been going on with my grandson. In speaking with his teacher about whats been going on we have come to a plan that so far seems to be working. They have pulled my grandson out of the class for a one on one for 45 min. 3 or 4 times a week . Even though it has only been a couple of days I see a differance in him already.My thanks again.Ruby.
Re: help with grandson
Dear Ruby,
I have read your question and hopefully I can help. Your grandson is only in kindergarten and most likely has not ever been exposed to too many people such as in a classroom.
If his shyness prevents him from participating in class or answering his teacher’s questions fully, that is concerning and I would start there. I would talk with him about his shyness. Then if that did not work I would ask the teacher if you could come and sit with him a few days if he opens up to you and does his work for you. If the teacher does not have a problem with that she could eventually wing him off and maybe then he will start doing the work for the teacher.
If that does not work I would then request a school meeting with the principal, school psycologist and teacher. I would first request this meeting through the teacher.
One thing that seems to always work with my students is to offer them a reward. Suggest to your grandson that if he goes to school and does his work for his teacher you will take him to pizza hut or you will buy him that new toy he has been wanting. There are always things that motivates young children to do the things they need to. You just have to find out what they want and what they are willing to work for.
Thanks,
Michelle Evans
Re: help with grandson
Dear Michell Evens, Your right about not haveing any exposer with groups of people. I beleave thats where all of Davids problems coming from, because of his shyness. We have started taking him to school and picking him up at least 2 days a week . I have seen a differance in him already and its only been 2 weeks. His parents and his granddad and I take turns doing this. Each time we try to talk with the teachers and people in the office with David with us, and bring him into the conversation. I am hopeing that when David sees us interacting with the people at his school it will help him get over some of his shyness.Thanks for your input. Ruby
Hi Ruby,
I would request a school meeting with the principal, school psycologist and teacher. I would first request this meeting through the teacher.
Things to consider that may be making him uncomfortable.
1. Has he been in an environment alone with this many unfamiliar people at one time.
2. Is he younger than some of the other students.
3. Does he get flustered easily.
Write your own profile of the child to share at the meeting. If the class is too big is their a smaller class he could be in or could they pull him out for some break time.
Good luck.