Dating & LD

I don’t really have any advice except that to think you might marry someone you are dating at 16 is putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Very few people marry people they date as teenagers.

Beth

Ditto to what Beth said. And its not because you are LD. Your first relationships are scary and exciting in the best of circumstances. You don’t have to share everything with the first guy you date. Try to relax and enjoy it and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

I was just going to add that you can simply explain things you have trouble with as weaknesses along the order of “well, I have a really lousy sense of direction so it wouldn’t work to try to meet you there. Could you come to my house and we could go together?” Lots of people have bad sense of direction—I know yours is much worse but it would be a way to deal with some of things that come up without feeling like you have to hide your difficulties or getting into a discussion about LD before he has a chance to get to know you.

Beth

I think that he probably already knows about your LDs, it isn’t something one can hide for very long…and it probably isn’t a concern to him. He may be one of those people who sees beyond the surface issues and sees the real person inside.

I have a hearing impairment and it is something I can’t hide….I have found that if I tell people about my hearing loss when I get to know them they won’t get the wrong impression because it explains some of the things that I do and when I don’t respond to a comment it isn’t because I am rude it is because I didn’t hear them.

I feel that one should always be open, no one is “perfect” because the harder you try to hide things from people the more it becomes a bigger problem than if you were open about it in the first place. Just take it as it comes and enjoy the friendship for as long as it lasts.

Wow-16 is quite young to think about marriage!

Seriously though, I think you should tell him when you feel it’s the right time, and when you don’t feel pressured to say anything. You may find that he’s understanding about your learning disability.

I am 28 now, I started dating my now boyfriend seven years ago and I felt incredibly weird when we first met about telling him about my learning disability. At the time we were both college students and I felt like I should explain to him the things that might keep me from seeing him; for me needing extra time to study was/still is one of those things.

You don’t have to tell him but if you feel comfortable enough with him then you should say something. He could very well be a great person to turn to when you need emotional support.

I’ll tell you, one of the things that made me reluctant to say anything to people about my learning disability was that I would get comments like the ones you described. It took me a while to develop my own personal philosophy on it which is this: all people are ignorant in some ways, and everyone has their own personal judgements. Only you know how your disability affects you and if people are not understanding that is their problem, not yours.

I just recently heard about this disorder, and am wondering if I have it. I have never been diagnosed with it, but so many of the symptoms relate to me. I know, however I cannot diagnose myself. I have had some friends, but they never lasted long. I am 22 years old, and never have been on a date. Somewhat because it dosen’t interest me, but also like you said. You are scared of getting in too deep. Me too!

I don’t THINK I’ll marry him, I just know it’s a possibility.

I have to agree with all of the things that the other ladies have offered as advice.
I,too, am a learning disabled adult. And,yes, my LD has been a problem in terms of dating. Especially because I don’t drive due to my LD. When I got old enough to date, in the 80’s my father and stepmother were the worse about it. Looking back, I think they were trying to pressure me into marrying one of Dad’s friends’ son’s….(Whom we later found out was into robbery and rape- and later went to prison for those same offences- ) To get me married off and out of their hair. I’ll be 35 in a few months, and haven’t really dated that much.
Parially due to my being LD, and also my being over weight. (I’ve never been married and have no children…)

You are so young, sweetie…just focus on being a teenager..You’ve got time before you even think about serious relationships and marriage- those are two very big steps for any young lady. Now, while you’re so young, focus on you- have fun, get out and meet people,go out, do things, cultivate the areas where your interests fall…(you don’t let them in and tell them everything at first. You get to know them! That takes time. As you get to know them see where they are in their lives- Do they have their lives together? Do they have goals they’re working towards accomplishing? Do they treat others with respect and decency? (If they’re kids-Do they mind their parents, and keep the rules they set for them? Do they cause trouble at school? ) If you can answer yes to all those questions except for the last one, sweetie- those are the kind of people you want to cultivate as friends. ) You also focus on getting your life together- doing as well in school as you possibly can despite of and in the face of your NLD…You do those things- those are the launching pad that will set you up and get you ready for that one special young man that’s going to be able to see beyond your NLD, and see the super young lady that I’m pretty sure you are, and can be…(And even if he doesn’t happen along or whatever, you’ll have already sat you up a good, active, productive life, and have friend to hang out with! Either way, it’s a good thing to do all those launching pad things!)
Sure, there are going to be those that are prejudiced and discriminatory due to LD’s.Sadly, often those are the ones,sometimes that really DON’T want to know the truth or ins and outs about it. Those that you meet, get to know you and really care about you- those are the ones that will ask you questions about it. Those are the ones that you’ll want to explain it to. (Not every Tom Dick and Harry you run into.) You’ll know if this person is sincere or cares about you…just as you’ll know the right time to clue him or her in about NLD.
You’re almost ready to start your entry into the working world…I have a few pointers that will help there, I hope…
For starters after you get that first job, tell your employer about your NLD…You know what accomodations you’re going to need in the work place, depending on your job. (You have the ADA act of 1990 to stand on.)
You have to tell them that- it’s your responsibility to! This way, they KNOW you’ve got a disability- and what accomodations you need to be able to do the job as well as your co workers…
Secondly, when you go into the work place there are going to be those that think they can get you to do their work as well as your own. How you handle that is- go to your supervisor and ask him a few questions abou your job duties- then bring up that the other co worker is trying to get you to take on their work load as well as your own- then you DO what your supervisor tells you. If the other person raises cane you just tell them that you were told THIS is what you were told to do- if they have a problem with it, go talk to the supervisor…
Thirdly,Don’t go into the work place looking to make friends-(They’re NOT your friends just business associates.) usually, it’s a ploy to get you to take on their work load as well as your own…Chances are they’ve covered their rear ends quite well, and will be there long after the company’s given you the boot, so to speak…To them it’s all about their pay check….
Fourthly- Don’t date anyone from work…causes far too many problems at work..that’s why it’s a good idea to separate work from your personal life- you know off the clock off hours? That.
I know it’s alot to think about and hard to do, but it can be done! I KNOW you can do it!
Sweetie, why I’ve told you all this is I want to see you have the shot at a good future like I never had…If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have said one word…but I did say something- in hopes of you having an even better shot at a good,happy future…..Something I’ve never had…
NitaGirl with NLD wrote:
>
> I am 16 and have just started dating. I am now looking at the
> development of my first real relationship. Where most people
> are excited, I am scared. I usually try to keep friendships
> from getting too deep for fear that my LD will be discovered.
> I shy away from any activity requiring sequencing, spatial
> organization, or fast movements. Out of my friends, only one
> knows that I have LD-and if she didn’t have one too, I
> probably never would have told her.
>
> So here I am, getting into a relationship with a guy who I
> could marry-and I want to keep my LD a secret. I *know* I
> can’t and that it will come out sooner or later, but every
> time I tell someone about my LD, they start asking me what
> areas of life it affects (all), why I have it (cause God gave
> it to me), and they say stuff like “you’re so smart…you
> just don’t like math” or “if you’d try a little harder you’d
> get it.” People see me differently after I tell them I have
> LD. Which is why I quit telling people.
>
> So does anyone who has experience in this area have advice to
> offer? Cause I sure could use it!

Girl with NLD please be careful. Identifying yourself as a 16 year old girl like this puts you at risk to predators.

Tomcat may be legit but something about that post had that, “I am just like you let me empathize and win your trust,” kind of feel to it.

I am sorry that I am so cynical but I have kids of my own and I know how trusting they can be.

Especially having NLD, I know my step-daughter had a tendency to take everything at face value due to her NLD. She believes everything she hears and doesn’t filter out non-verbal nuances. Be very careful, not just telling someone that you have an LD, but with NLD you could be open to being taken advantage of by someone out for themselves.

I know when I was 16, I pictured myself married to everyone I ever dated. After 2 failed marriages I am here to tell you, all is not as it seems. Take it slowly, you have your entire life ahead of you. I know I sound like your mother but……what I would love more than anything is to be 16 again but know everything I know now so I can avoid the mistakes I made. Unfortunately that is not an option…..you have all of your life ahead of you. When you are ready to tell him, you will know. Asking on this site tells me you are not sure of you are ready to open up. Think about that.

I think you should just try to avoid situations that you may be uncomfortable in until you see if you can trust this guy to be understanding. You don’t have to tell him that you have a L>D> you can just say that you dont enjoy certain things or that they make you uncomfortable or just suggest things to do that you really enjoy. If you are not with a patient young man , move on . They are out there even at your age.

hi i am 50 years old with ld
i myself think that 16 years old is a little to young to be thinking of getting marred.
but as far as dateting is if you find someone you think is right for you tell them that you have ld.
if he leave you for that reason then he not the one for you but you have plenty of time to find the right one for you that will stand by you side and help you.

i know i did and it took me neny year to find him and i ben whith him for 19 years now and still vermy much in love with him

You know most people have learning differences…. when you get right down to it. I find when I discuss it most people go “Aha! I think I have one too! That’s why geometry was hard for me etc. etc.” And many people never get help for their learning differences and go through life wondering why they are the way they are. You understand yourself better than most people do.

I wouldn’t tell anybody right up front that I have a learning difference. Why do that? I also don’t bother people right up front with that fact that I have a balance disorder, a stomach easily upset by eating nuts or crab, or a deep seated fear of guns. If they offer me a bowl of nuts or cooked crab for dinner, then I explain that I can’t eat those things when they do. If they want to take me tightrope walking, I tell them I’m happy to go along and watch - and I might even try it with a net - but that I think I’m not likely to be good at it because of my balance disorder. If they want to go to a shooting range, I tell the guy l’m uncomfortable around guns and always have been and maybe sometime I’ll go to watch him shoot but it’s not a good idea to go today.

It’s as if you define yourself by your learning difference. It’s as if that’s the only thing you are - which can’t be. Don’t you have many strengths to go along with this small weakness?

Unless you’re dating a professional sequencer - whatever that is - and he’s going to take you out sequencing every date - why even discuss a weakness in sequencing with him at this point in your relationship? Let this relationship and the others you’ll have find its way naturally among the strengths and weaknesses you both surely have. There’s no need to keep secrets or to tell them - a learning difference is a learning difference - it’s only a dark secret if you feel it should be.

Here’s a different take on the “tell him or not” idea.

LD is not who you are, it is a label that a bunch of professionals give to people with various characteristics, some of which you might have.

I repeat, LD is not who you are and is not the most important characteristic of you.

When you think of yourself as a collection of many characteristics that other people see, any one or two characteristics become less important.

I know, I was 16 once and a zit can become an international issue.

But, what characteristics are you worried about?

Do you think he’s going to ask you to do a math problem on the spot? If he did, he’d look like a geek anyway, strike 1 for him.

Do you think he’s going to ask you to do some writing while you’re sitting at the mall having a Coke? I doubt it but if he does, pull out your Palm Pilot and beam him something.

If you think of LD as a disease that he might catch, then of course, clue him in but if you think of it as one small part of who you are, then to tell him about that would mean you’d also want to balance it out with a list of your other (I’m sure wonderful) characteristics.

If you keep dating this guy something small will happen and he’ll ask you about it and you can matter-of-factly say that you’re X and you always do that.

I’m not trying to belittle this concern; you’re onto the single biggest concern that most people with any kind of “difference” have. What we tend not to realize is that most people have some kind of difference.

So how did that date go?

Oh, and on the marriage front, I’m an LD adult and was a late bloomer in the dating department. I didn’t really “date” when I was 16 but I had an active imagination ;)

However, once I got to college I made up for lost time.

But I did not get married until much later. Date a lot of guys, learn what you like about different guys and more importantly, learn about yourself through the eyes of others. You might keep a journal about this stuff; it might be fun to read later.

Great questions by the way, way cool. So cool in fact that I must share with you a true story…

http://www.ldresources.com/articles/first_date.html

[quote=”Beth from FL”]I don’t really have any advice except that to think you might marry someone you are dating at 16 is putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Very few people marry people they date as teenagers.

Beth[/quote][list=]My name is John, and I’m not affraid of people knowing that I have a learning disability. I’m 40, living in Morgantown, WV and have never had a serious relationship. What fears me the most is that I don’t have much money.

[email protected][/list]

C’mon folks, having a learning disability isn’t that big of a deal, nor is not having any friends one, either.
Just look at me, I’m 18, still in HS and doing pretty good for myself. I don’t have any friends, but that’s not because I’m afraid they’ll discover that there’s something wrong with me, but that normal folk seem very stupid to me. I mean, I’m ‘gifted’, you know. From my experience I’ve found most ‘gifted’ people DO have LD’s. Perhaps the reason you feel unconfrontable getting in relationships with other people is because of their own mental blocks and ignorance?
Just a thought..

==========

“I don’t have any friends, but that’s not because I’m afraid they’ll discover that there’s something wrong with me, but that normal folk seem very stupid to me. I mean, I’m ‘gifted’, you know.”

==========

Sounds like reverse discrimination to me. Maybe you ought to just accept that everyone is doing the best they can with whatever “equipment” they’ve got. Do that and I’ll bet you’ll have more friends.

Just a thought…

It’s not really discrimination. I just only associate with those in my intellectual class. It just so happens that excludes around 96% of the population. In fact, I wouldn’t mind killing off 96% of humanity..

========

“I just only associate with those in my intellectual class.”

========

And just how do you measure people to find out if they’re “classy” enough for you?

Verbal acuity? Looks? Do you give them a mensa test?

Again, seems like you might be filtering out some potential friends here, no? I mean, you’re the one who said you have no friends, right? Maybe, just maybe, the reason you have no friends is because you’re judging people too harshly.

I doubt I’m your intellectual equal because I’m not gifted, but does that mean you really want to kill me? If so, wow, I can see why you have a problem in the friends department.

Life is tough enough with LD problems. Some people need to
think about what they type; just as they need to think about what
they say to others in intimate one-on-one conversation.

If you insult people, and are too arrogant, you will not be able to
be attractive — seem interesting, to others. To the contrary;
it will only do the opposite.

I believe this sub-topic is dating. Society has bad attitudes when
dealing with people with LD. The question for those of us with
LD Histories, is how do we deal with that; and how do we find
a loving friend who accepts us with our strengths–-and our weaknesses.

I find that some people think I am their friend, when I think they are an
acquaintance. And, I don’t trust people to support me; I am self-reliant.
But those are some of __MY__ issues.

/signed/ Joe Tag

– end –

What is this LD-conspiracy all of you keep on talking about? I’ve never heard of anything like this. Most people have learning disabilities; no one’s perfect.

====

“I mean, I’m ‘gifted’, you know. From my experience I’ve found most ‘gifted’ people DO have LD’s.”

====

“I just only associate with those in my intellectual class. It just so happens that excludes around 96% of the population.”

====

“Most people have learning disabilities; no one’s perfect.”

====

These statements make for some interesting Venn diagrams, or interesting thinking about Venn diagrams.

http://www.venndiagram.com/intro.html

You know what? honesty is always the best policy. And plus, if he dosen’t accept you for exactly who you are and what comes along with being you, then its not the right guy!! So, I would tell him…if he accepts it, WONDERFUL, if not…he’s not the one!! Good luck!

Having LD is NOTHING to be ashamed of. I taught my daughter to tell everyone. She took up the entire class period of psychology and the class was fascinated. She tells everyone all the special things that she CAN do, as well as what she has problems with. She can pick out the details on every car in town and if she has seen it once - she has it memorized. We vacationed 6 hours away and she identified someone’s car there. She also can read animal’s body language. I’m sure that if you tell someone special that you see the world in a different way and march to a different drummer, you will be able to sort out what kind of person they are. If they don’t “get it” - you don’t want to be around them anyway. Of course you are thinking ahead - practicing telling people is a good idea now. Then, when you find THE one - you’ll know how. Good luck!

Misanthropist,

To be honest, you aren’t worthy of this response, but I’m going to give it for the sake of the good people reading these boards.

Re: LD…These are cognative disorders that inhibit a person from learning and acquiring knowledge the way the majority of persons do. This causes problems with grades in school, and extends further to social phobias and difficulties because of improperly learned/acquired social skills. Seeking a remedial treatment is a positive stage, but also a long, expensive, and at times difficult road. More bluntly, if something weren’t wrong, we wouldn’t try so hard to fix it.

Re: Friends…Throughout centuries of philisophical, theological, and other social realms of thoughts, the forging of friendships has been timelesly viewed as one of the most beautiful and admirable human acheivements. Furhtermore, intellectuality has nothing to do with limiting friendshps. It may make certain people more desireable, but to preclude them without examining true facets of friendship with them is egotistical.

Re: You. Seek help. Your reactions on this board have been self centered and egotistical and to me, represent a deep psychosis and mental instability. Of course it’s not your fault…but it becomes your fault if you fail to seek assistance for it.

Now, to everyone else, and the girl asking the question we began with. Friends, especially the one(s) we fall in love with are amazing. Of course, this breeds a host of problems as well, especially when we encounter a breakup. The issues surrounding this are all complex and require lengthy discussion. I advise using you LD to your advantage to pick up some interesting reading material, love stories etc. that will help show you the experiences of so many great people in love…in success and failure.

Having a LD makes relationships more difficult, as I alluded to earlier. I have found that reading has helped compensate for this, because a number of great authors suffered similar feelings, and literature offers great comparisons. I don’t know the answers as to what to do in the relationship, to make it survive, etc….nor do I know if every relationship should survive.

So far, I can say that there are a few important things to do with LD in a relationship. If you start dating, as boyfriend girlfriend, it is probably appropriate within a month to bring this to your partner’s attnetion because the nature of love and loving is one that begs us to tell our ‘other’ just what we are going through in life.

Secondly, do not hide any of your feelings- especially in an attempt to satisfy your partner. For instance, if he is doing something that bothers you- like being loud and obnoxious with his friends at school, or if you don’t feel like you see him enough, say so. A tendency with LD is to hide, like our condition, our feelings, for fear that our feelings are as abnormal as our condition. It’s not the case. Saying how you feel enables you to learn about your feelings…and in love that’s something that requires two people. If there is something you don’t understand, ask.

The great paradox of love is that two people become one, yet remain two individual people. As such, we have to make the one- the love, the togetherness. With a LD we are more willing to introvert feelings and sacrifice our thoughts and accept those of the person we love, and there are a couple reasons. 1- fear of abnormality; 2- Part of our dealing with our problem has led us to be self-reliant and thus we have created a self-love, which makes us inherently more trusting of ourselves than others. The flaw of this in love is that we have to make sure we trust ourselves as much as we trust the person we love. This means sharing feelings, thoughts, and emotions. It is easier said than done, I know, but write it on your wall at home, on your hand during the day…try to remember it. Our self-reliance can be a great tool, but it can turn us into our own worst enemy as well.

Some of the things we do are make elaborate plans for the future, sometimes turning them into brief fantasies. Often times we play out a discussion we are going to have with someone before we have it, and then, if we have the discussion we discover what we thought the other person would say is different from what they do say. However, often times, since we’ve already thought through the conversation, we simply avoid having it entirely and assume the answer.

Relationships- they are difficult to begin with. Having a LD can drag you down and make them much more difficult, and sometimes painful even when they are pleasant. The trappings of our mind may well be our worst enemy when it comes to love, though, and my suggestion is to try to subvert them. Writing, hehe, like I am doing now, is a tool you may find easier than speech to begin expressing your thoughts…as notes for a conversation, or even as a journal. The LD mind is a truly beautiful thing, but as with all things, there are ways in which they can be used to our benefit…and with the mind, we should exploit it as much as we can. Your heart will lead you, that is certain, but you have to get your brain to facilitate the interaction with your boy…that is the challenge.

Best of luck.

Wow, that was sure profound and original. Gave me a sudden epiphany on my life, relationships, love, and my own ‘deep psychosis and mental instability’, which I would have never discovered if it wasn’t for Nicodemus. -notes the sarcasm in his previous statements for the slower ones here-

“The great paradox of love is that two people become one, yet remain two individual people.” —Nicodemus

Yeah, I figured you’d already discovered them. ;)

Do you like being hard to get along with? Afraid somebody might like you?

John…I do lots of stuff, but I don’t do marital/relationship counseling.

[quote=”JohnBT”]Yeah, I figured you’d already discovered them. ;)

Do you like being hard to get along with? Afraid somebody might like you?

John…I do lots of stuff, but I don’t do marital/relationship counseling.[/quote]

:lol:

Thanks, John!

I needed the laugh today.

Barb

[quote=”Nicodemus”]Misanthropist,

Secondly, do not hide any of your feelings. A tendency with LD is to hide, like our condition, our feelings, for fear that our feelings are as abnormal as our condition.

As such, we have to make the one- the love, the togetherness. With a LD we are more willing to introvert feelings and sacrifice our thoughts and accept those of the person we love, and there are a couple reasons. 1- fear of abnormality; 2- Part of our dealing with our problem has led us to be self-reliant and thus we have created a self-love, which makes us inherently more trusting of ourselves than others. The flaw of this in love is that we have to make sure we trust ourselves as much as we trust the person we love. This means sharing feelings, thoughts, and emotions. It is easier said than done, I know, but write it on your wall at home, on your hand during the day…try to remember it. Our self-reliance can be a great tool, but it can turn us into our own worst enemy as well.

[b]Some of the things we do are make elaborate plans for the future, sometimes turning them into brief fantasies. Often times we play out a discussion we are going to have with someone before we have it, and then, if we have the discussion we discover what we thought the other person would say is different from what they do say. However, often times, since we’ve already thought through the conversation, we simply avoid having it entirely and assume the answer.[/b]

Relationships- Having a LD can drag you down and make them much more difficult and sometimes painful even when they are pleasant. [b]The trappings of our mind may well be our worst enemy when it comes to love[/b], though, and my suggestion is to try to subvert them. Your heart will lead you, that is certain, but you have to get your brain to facilitate the interaction with your boy…that is the challenge.[/quote]

Wow, you really have hit home for me!
I am 20years old and recently diagnosed with NLD.
I have been tormented with the described behaviors. It always leads to a disappointment, hankers on my self esteem, and I feel bad about letting things go by without letting him know whats going on. I met a guy, we enjoyed the few hours one evening that we spent together, we were both smitten with eachother, ..yet after we met we’ve chatted through aol instant messenger and I have not called him (even when he put up an away msg saying i could, i didn’t). Night after night has gone by without me calling him at all. There is no doubt in my mind that I want to have him in my life, but nothing is happening because due to me alienating him by not calling him, I think he thinks that I don’t want to talk to him or anything. Which is totally wrong! I think about him every day! I’ve cried myself to sleep. Yet I can’t even pick up the phone and press dial. :(

I feel stuck, frustrated, aggrivated to no end, and nonetheless, it hurts my heart.

I have done the numerous conversations in my mind. I have done the sitting with the phone in my hand and my thumb over the dial button for hours. I have done setting a time when I am going to just call but then the time comes and I’ll chicken out because I have the self-defeating thoughts and have one excuse or another. I let my mind tell me he is too busy with school to want to take the time in the day for my call. Then in the evening I let the fact that there is a baseball game on deter me from calling then. I realize that this behavior does me no good and will most likely end up wearing me down. This still continues to be a major struggle for me. Also, I am afraid that when I do talk to him opens me to being interpreted wrong of something I say and also opening up myself emotionally to a guy and knowing what I am supposed to do to have and maintain a relationship should it evolve into one.
I am new to the whole dating world. I have not had any male close friends.
I can’t just call people out of the blue. I don’t even call my best friends. They always have to call me and invite me out to do activities with them. So this problem doesn’t just affect this one situation with the guy.

Help please?
Or direct me to resources that may help?

Thank you.

Why are so many people so ignorant about ADD and how it affects people? Why don’t more people know that when someone is overly aggressive that they might not be creepy or a jerk, maybe they have ADD and need some more understanding from others? It’s so frustrating to have women misintepret my intentions or for them to get creaped out by me or uncomfortable as well. I guess they are the wrong one for me when that happens. Any single Christian ladies within 1-15 years younger or a few years older then 40 here? If you are, let me know, OK? I’m sick and tired of not having much success in the dating area. I’m a college student again, so I know that I’ve got alot going for myself.

Nate,

I personally couldn’t care less about dating or relationships, I have far to much in my personal life I want and need to accomplish. I’m afraid a relationship will only serve as a distraction to me at this point in time.

Not only that I’ve seen far to many young people my age(who arn’t LD) do stupid things when they jump into something that they wern’t prepared for. If I remain single for the rest of my life so be it. I don’t really want have a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship, that wouldn’t be fair for me or the girl I’m dating.

I’m LD and ADD and that’s just the way it is, I don’t feel that I have to go around and personally explain myself to anyone. What you see is what you get and if you can’t accept that that’s your own problem, that’s my attitude and I think it’s a healthy one to have as far as this subject is concerned.

If someone crosses my path some day great, if not oh well.

Nate it sounds to me like you’re making this ADD issue far greater than it needs to be. Don’t be so hung up on it that it impares your ability to be yourself.

And last but not least I’m afraid if I do settle down with “the one” I will produce a kid exactly like msyelf :D and I don’t think I could handle that. For goodness sake I can’t even handle myself most of the time.

I think that if she can’t accept me for who I am then she’s not the right one for me. And I do need to be myself as well, I shouldn’t try to be as “normal” as possible, just to get Miss Right, if she did like me as “normal” as possible then what will she do when I’m not so “normal”? There are alot of things that some lady can really love and enjoy. It’s next to impossible to meet Miss Right where I now. There are so few single ladies where I live and most of the ones who are the right age and are single aren’t the ones I would want.

I need to care about school and graduating in 2 years and then maybe the dating part will take care of itself. Usually the harder you try the worst it gets. I need to get good grades and graduate before I think about having a GF.

Nate you’re basically repeating just what I stated :D

Your graduate work is far more important than some void you feel you have to fulfill in your life, best of luck to you!

I hope some day you find the one who is truly the best fit for you.

Oh and don’t try online dating scene, trust me from my past experience it’s a huge waste of time and money.

I totally agree about the huge waste of money, it sure is. But I don’t know about time though, I have met some nice people, one lady who teaches special ed kids in Houston is a real sweetheart, (she’s dating other guys, so I probably won’t get together with her, but it’s still good to have a friend to write to.

I had to kill my accounts with two groups lately because of $$$$. And some are way more expensive then those were.

You’re right I need to care more about my education then dating. I’m enjoying learning American Sign Language when I have time to do that.

Your problems sound so much like my life!!! I never thought I’d find a person with the same dillema. I’m 19 and truthfully I’ve never seriously dated.This is mostly because I think God molded my life in a different direction and for now singleness all I can handle. LOL! Admittedly, I do suffer from some anxiety which makes it hard also. Wish I could be more help with the boys but I do want to say thank you for posting because your comments hit home. The first thing I also hear is “but you’re so smart” too. It’s like people are so sure only retarded people get true LDs. I also struggle with sequencing, spatial organization, and fast movements…these are things that can be VERY hard to explain to another person and people are afraid of what they don’t understand.
What I do when I have a crush on a guy or have met a new friend is wait until our relationship has progressed to the point where they can see my intelligence and I’m really confident in my relationship with them. By the way, I’ve only known maybe two people in 19 years who could really hear me on the subject of my LD so the open minded, true friends aren’t just everybody (but thats what makes our relationships special). When you feel ready, you may want to tell your b/f since he’s someone who cares about you but put some time into how to explain it to him. For me writing really helps. Maybe you could even make it fun. Try making up little games or visuals that might help him understand (kudos to you if you are that creative :). Also, you could always print stuff from the internet, hand it to him, and let him formulate his own questions.