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misunderstood indeed

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

These children are truly misunderstood!
We have been told in a recent IEP annual review by the SPED director, when we requested 1:1 remediation due to regression even with 3 years of an IEP, that “the expectations for learning disabled children are less than the ‘average’ child.” At the beginning of the school year we were given the same curriculum objectives as the rest of the 4th grade class. My son has a verbal IQ of 111 but a performance IQ that is significantly lower which means he is of average intelligence and he CAN achieve just as much as his classmates, he just needs alternate strategies, NOT lowered expectations. How do parents get what they need for their kids with this kind of mentality coming from the school?

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 04/05/2002 - 9:54 PM

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Inclusion is the newest craze; unfortunately, it is not always best for the child. Although inclusion addresses valid social concerns, it is much more practical in theory than in practice. Does your school offer a self-contained LD classroom where your child might receive the intensive instruction needed to catch-up? A year or two of intensive instruction and some opportunity to experience success may be beneficial. As the mother of a LD child and a new teacher I consider the issue of inclusion as one of many perspectives. My own child suffered horribly. His self-esteem was destroyed by a history of failure and feeling less smart than his peers. As a temporary measure, a self-contained class can work in the child’s favor.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 04/05/2002 - 10:33 PM

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Hi Eileen,
We had asked for that in the recent IEP. I said that my ideal situation for him is self-contained or we would be happy with 1:1 for reading and written expression to be given during the same time the gen ed class was receiving their instruction. We were told it was not in their continuum to provide services this way because it would not be the least restrictive environment. Right now he gets pulled out at their convenience and ends up missing other things going on in the gen ed class. He views this as punishment and I don’t blame him. They are just not willing to see the extent of the anxiety that “their” strategies to help him are causing him. My son’s self-esteem is being destroyed too and we were told that we would have to see an outside pyschologist to help him through this. So he has been in therapy for 7 months in order to cope with the school situation. I feel as if I am torturing him by forcing him into a situation that is clearly not working for him, but these people are like rocks! Mediation will most likely be the next step to get what he needs. Do you predict a change and inclusion becoming unpopular any time soon?

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 04/07/2002 - 6:34 PM

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As far as the inclusion, I have not been happy with it this year. They have inclusion for the phonics and spelling and then go to the resource room for reading. On top of the learning problem( don’t have a specific name), we are easily distracted. So, that is a lot of help to have 30 kids in a room ( there would have been 20 if in the regular classroom) with 2 teachers. NOT! I honestly think our resource teacher has decided that she is ADD, and that is her problem. That is like saying that she can’t have more than one problem. I freely admit that she has a problem focusing….but things just don’t click quickly for her. It gets in there, it just takes longer. We are only recieiveing services for reading. I could push and get math, too….but she does not have the same level of difficulty as in the reading.

Should I seek a specific diagnosis for her? I think her IEP would be more specific if we have one. What do you think?

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 04/11/2002 - 9:01 PM

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It cracks me up. 6 years ago my son’s school simply asked us to “medicate him”. Period. No follow-up, no eval. no anything. But we waited, we talked to our doctors, we read and we insisted on evaluations - (both private and through the school district). They didn’t understand why we wanted to bother! We thought that once the school realized the extent of our son’s difficulties/differences, and that we were on-board 1000% to do whatever it takes to help him, they’d help US. WRONG! They look at us and our son, like he’s the first kid they’ve ever come across with these issues. We’ve learned the hard way, and through websites and boards like this one and Schwab Learning we are arming ourselves with the tools needed to get him through the system. We are learning to ask the hard questions, and will keep pressing until we get results that work. We all must hang in there and be advocates for our kids!

Regarding inclusion (the original topic of this thread (I think!) I can’t see how it does any good. Unless there is an aid in the classroom to be able to deal with “special needs” kids 1:1, the lesson is just going to sweep over them like a wave. And as we know, most of these kids aren’t going to raise their hands to ask questions…sometimes I think they don’t even realize they need to ask!

Whew. I feel better. Thanks.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 04/11/2002 - 10:46 PM

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I do believe in inclusion I have 2 kids with special needs, if it is done apropriatly it should work, keep in mind that our children are part of a community, there is no special ed. malls or movie theathers etc. we want them to have friends and to be accepted,
One of my boys is attending a private school where he is and feels important and for me his self-esteem is as important as accademics, when he was going to public school he was always very depresed and feeling stuped and wortles almost every day that he came home from school he feelt worst about going to school, there is definatly something very wrong with our sociaty, and public schools ,
my other son is still in public school because I could not afford to pay tuition for two, but it is an on going strugle with school, to have him included in the regular classroom, and constantly pulling and pushing to get his needs meet.
There is always hope at the end of the tunnel.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 04/13/2002 - 3:51 AM

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I work as a special ed aide sub.

Sometimes I’m in the resource room,
sometimes I’m an inclusion aide in the classroom.

One day while gossiping with another sub she told
me about a school she subbed at. She got the aide’s
schedule, went to the classroom, ready to work.

The teacher asked her what she wanted. She said,
“I’m subbing for your regular aide.;
The teacher said, ‘I’ve never seen an inclusion aide
come to my room….’

Unfortunately this is the school my dyslexic son
attends. When I tried to get one of the aides to come
help him in social studies where he was pulling Ds
and Fs, I fought and fought and lost. I finally had to demand
that all videos and tests come home so we could do
them at home with the help he needed.

Sometimes I think they ought to pay ME!

Ann

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 04/13/2002 - 4:30 AM

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Dear Lord!!!!!
Get help now! I just went through the same thing with my grandson and he, after 3 years of not getting any services (I didn’t know they existed), my little guy became so overwhelmed he ended up in the hospital for 7 days with severe depression. GET HELP NOW. Please contact me and let me help you. This is the most horrible, terrifying experience a young child could experience.
Contact your doctor IMMEDIATELY!!!!!! Let the school know what you are doing….tell them you will contact an attorney. Anything to get their attention.
My grandson was removed from his school (by three doctors) because of the intense ridiculing and bullying that had been going on….he never said a word….he just fell apart right in front of my eyes. (I have custody).

PLEASE GET HELP NOW!!!!!!

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 04/13/2002 - 6:41 AM

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schools have all kinds of resource restraints,and are a little reticent to provide services sometimes, but, my experience hasbeen that the squeaky wheel does get the grease! It’s way easier knowing what to as for when you havea little knowledge base at your side- I was referred to 2 wev sites: wrightslaw.com and reedmartin.com (advocate/lega specialists inspecial ed law) - buy yourself a new printer cartridge, get a nobook, and get ready to do some learning!
good luck!

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/15/2002 - 2:06 PM

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I have a 14 year old daughter who has dyslexia and other learning differences. She has been tested by a phycologist who have determined that due to these differences she is designated as a “verbal learner”. The county school system has tested her for possible 504 accommadations, and have turned down ever attempt to get her any accommadations. They say she does not have a “medical disability” and that her grades are to high to qualify her for assistance. Report cards were sent home Friday, April 12, and she had a D in algebra, a C in science (up from an F last semester) and a C in english. Her major weakness in class are multiple choice tests. She can not read material to herself and answer multiple choice questions. This is practically impossible for her. Her science teacher refuses to assist her in any way because she said she doesn’t “seem to have any problems”. She is capable of doing the work, it just takes her twice as long and she really has to struggle just to make C’s.

We have been trying to get assitance for the past 5 years for her, to no avail. The county board has had numerous cases with the doctor who performed her evaluations, and refuse to even look at his test results.

Where do I go from here, and what else can be done? In Alabama, she will be required to pass an exit exam to graduate high school, but will be unable to do so because they are all multiple choice. Any help would be much appreciated.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/15/2002 - 3:01 PM

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Hello Grandma in Oregon,

Not to worry. I’ve been at this so long I know how
to work the system. Middle School is a little harder
but I’m getting them worked around.

And, for some reason, I *knew* that school was never
going to do all that was needed so I’ve been working with
him all along.

They never taught him phonics (they did sight words) but I taught him
and when he was tested on decoding this year he tested
three years ahead of his grade.

The issue I watch very carefully is his self esteem
and I always tell the school and teachers that is the most
important goal they have - he WILL remain positive about
school and he has. I would homeschool him in an instant if
needed. But he likes school, he loves his friends and he likes
being part of the school’s Destination Imagination team
http://www.destinationimagination.org/ (email if anyone wants
more information) and boy scouts.

As for inclusion aides at our school…. well that is a school decision.
And what is behind it, God only knows, mostly politics I expect.
Now that I know that an aide in the classroom is impossible to get
I have found other ways to bend them to my will. I have no doubt
of that. I made them set him up on a computer, buy a computer program
and he is know working on this program designed for dyslexics. So he
is getting the *1:1* tutoring they can’t give him.

Anne

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