LD problems

I could very eloquently defend against your unprovoked attack on our exceptional children, but my intuition tells me you’re not quite the kind of individual who could understand any point of view beyond your own vitriolic one. I hope you find some effective assistance with your problems.

hope I think your children are great but Im a 14 year old kid and I was just trying to be honest with all of you

Well…… as far as me not understanding other peoples point of views is conserned your intuiton is wrong. I was just having one my “retard fits”, try not to pay any attention.

Fair enough!

regardless, age is just a number but not something I would suggest you tell people about unless you want to make yourself a target to those people who may be willing to exploit you. You are still considered a kid, not an adult, yet.

Maybe in 10 years you will be better able to directly write what you are trying so hard to say in a way that can be understood better. Not because of LD, but because of life experience. Here’s a suggestion, don’t write the first thing that comes to mind. Write down what you are saying first. Then think about it, ponder it and decide if that’s what you really meant before you broadcast it to the world at large. You might be surprised how much different your work becomes when you stand back and look at your work as a reader instead of the kid who shot off at the stroke of a key.

Learning disabilities make many of us feel “stupid”, but we’re not. In fact, I know some people who are “slow” who I value more than some people who have no disabilities and have important jobs, but are insensitive and uncaring. Does difficulty in reading or math or poor visual memory make a person less of a person? I don’t think so.

I am a sensitive, caring person. The disabilities I’ve struggled with have made me more sensitive to the problems of others.

We need to respect ourselves and we need to respect others. If I see you, with your problems, as ok, that helps me to see myself, with my problems, as ok. And when I’m seen as ok and can see myself as ok, I’m much more likely to do better.

Good answer, Arlene. LD has NOTHING to do with intelligence.

Hi I thought I’d put in my thought,
I’m dyslixic and I know I’m not stupid I found school hard and I have slowly learnt and I have got there in the end.
My daughter has a LD as well and I hate people as they make judements on her as she looks 8 she is almost 7 and acts like a 4 year old she is the mental age of a 4-5 year old so acts like a 4-5 year but the funny looks you get I hate.
I wish people would just see her for the little girl she is and not her size it is so cruel.

Hi
I posted yesterday I thought I would up date you on what I wrote yesterday,
I still think people judge my daughter before they understand her. I was talking to a girl at swimming lessons I didn’t take daughter(stayed at home with Dad) as she has a bad cough but took son (who is coming on like he should he is 5 ), I menstioned that daughter wasn’t coming due to a cold, she and I got on to my daughters LD and she picked up that she wasn’t a “normal” child but luckly this girl had see the little girl underneath a sweetheart.
Some people a great my daughter is a brilliant little girl.

I agree with you with people that have ld problems I have a learning disaibility myself I’ve had one since grammer school still don’t know which one I have yet.
I am trying to figure it out. I do understand how it feels to made front of though cause I’ve had it done to me all because of my disaibility.

Okay, honestly I don’t know where to begin. It seems that every time I have a question in regards to my now nine year old daughter things are past on as being okay, but….

She is one that has trouble staying on task; she does not understand the concept of time-she lives in the moment. She has no friends, to speak of and expresses that she just “wants to be normal”.

Over the years I have expressed my concern in one form or another dating back when she was just born. She did not “cry” nor would she “look” / “gaze in another direction. She also did not meet major milestones on time or in correct sequence as my older daughter or as is considered by her physician in regards to other children put into the percentage categories.

Now this is a very active child. She sings and can imitate a song to perfection. Singing tends to give her relaxation. Her voice is and I have been told that she sounds exceptional over the years by one person or another. In my mind she is an auditory learner, yet is her singing a way to relax or do they go hand in hand.

Preschool was a nightmare, and basically they “let” her stay, as I was a paying participating parent in a “cooperative preschool”. Pre-Kindergarten was a “holy nightmare” at the Catholic School. Sister Mary _ _ _ _ _ _ cornered me one day and complained that my daughter “refused to do things twice”. For example right spelling words three times. Well low and behold I new that because my daughter had let me know in ways at home that when she did it right once, she was done, in her mind that is. Yes, our family adjusted to my youngest daughter; there is no doubt. Kindergarten was worse yet, except I had met a mother of a son in her class who would invite my daughter over for outings etc. as not to exclude her as was now beginning to become the “norm”. Also, one can not un-include the fact that I had become separated from her father when she was just four months old, and was working a job that required me to be away from home twenty four hours at a time for a minimum of seventy two hours a week. So I tended to “blame” myself on my daughters actions and troubles, not her most of the time if not all the time. Her teachers I continued to struggle with.

In first grade I move my daughters and myself a number of states away and enrolled them in school. This school system spends many hours preparing their kids for their state testing, which equals more money for the system. Odd but her first grade teacher was a special education teacher, who even though I approached her requesting “testing” to see what was going on. Similar to my questioning the family physician. It took months and much prodding on my part and many disruptive complaints along with non-listening complaints. I also would not help matters as I would tell the teachers that she has repeated ear infections and asthma, which at times does hinder “hearing”. Again, I blamed or tried to offset a situation by saying that I thought there were multiple issues going on in my daughter’s life. They in turn felt I was “just not stern enough with my daughter and too complacent. Btw, my daughter still could not read, and refused to even listen when it came to “reading time” nightly at home. By the end of first grade she was tested and it was assumed that she had LD with behavioral problems. An IEP was written, some of my suggestions on modifications were accepted others were not. I was just glad to have “help” and not knowledgeable about the “what to do’s or the what not to do’s ” and was glad.

By second grade I thought school was never going to work for my daughter. She couldn’t read, and socially she was an outcast. We had a teacher who came into the situation with a large amount of experience, who offered techniques and suggestions that were positive and proved to be totally successful for my daughter. It actually was a “good” year in my mind for my daughter.

Riding on that success we rode into third grade full of confidence only to have it shattered many times throughout the year. I should have known at the first IEP meeting when she said she had nothing to contribute as she had not had enough time to adapt to her current classroom as a whole. It turns out that not to her own fault but her own small child that year was sick repeatedly, which required many days out of the classroom with multiple “substitute teachers”. My daughter struggles with change but when she called me from work one day begging me to come get her I did just that. It turns out that she had “four subs” in one day. I would assume for even the “regular kid” that it was a struggle. My daughter was almost held in from recess for leaving the class without permission and accessing the phone system and calling me. Now there I put my foot down. She was in trouble, couldn’t seem to get the help and took it upon herself to “call for help”.

Fourth grade has had its ups and downs. Most recently we had a total meltdown for my daughter. She paid for her mistakes by being held inside and having to make up work for which she refused to do. Her teacher’s, principal and Special Education teacher were all involved along with the behavioral assistant that day, along with myself. We all made mistakes, yet ironically my daughter was “assessed punishment”. The situation excalated that day to a point where they felt it necessary to “hold her down and lock her in a room”. When they called me I was told that my daughter was having a rough day but the behavioral assistant was in with her. At no time was I called and told that any one felt uncomfortable with any change in events. I had called back requesting to speak with the Special Education teacher and told by the principal I would not be able to speak with her as she was in with other students. I informed the principal I would come to the school when it ended then and speak with the teacher. I assumed that my daughter would be put on the “art center” bus for her afterschool program. I arrived to find my daughter underneath a table crying. Visual observation on my part immediately I became upset and even enraged. When the principal approached me to reproach me for my daughter behavior I in turn told her I was taking my daughter home and when I had reached a calming state I would be then willing to talk to them all. In the truck on the way home, my daughter through tears told me that they “locked her in a room, and she felt like she couldn’t breath and just had to get out. She tried to get out and was told that the police could be called to come and take her away.” Bottom line I had a meeting the following Monday, odd but only with the principal and the special education teacher. After the meeting I sought out the IEP individually trying to get to the bottom of the situation. Yes, my daughter refused to do her work. She shut down verbally and refused to re-enter her situation. She is at fault for that. Yet, don’t ever shut my daughter in a room and tell her that You are going to call the police. Why the heck didn’t they call me, I could have at least put an end to a situation that from what I understand lasted almost three hours.

I called an IEP meeting. It went okay. A behavior modification measure was asked to be instituted. Except no one is using it. Not my daughter, not the teachers, nor the special education teacher. Today three notes came home in regards to behavior that occurred in the am. Oddly enough, she was struggling with a punishment of not being able to go outside from Friday, which she had no clue about. At lunchtime, this Monday. While brushing her teeth after lunch she refused to go with the principal to the lunchroom to “sit”, she didn’t believe she had done anything wrong. In turn she was taken by the arm, “pinched she says” and guided towards the room/office “they locked her in”. She broke away, and went to the computer lab and called me. I in turn did calm her down and followed the behavior plan that they suggested. Her afternoon was fine. Thing is she came home with three letters of behavior disciplines that now remove her from “going outside” and she is to “sit” alone during lunch.

My daughter is having her “three year IEP” re-eval performed now. She also is set for an appointment from her family physician for a “complete ADHD” evaluation. The Art Center believes that my daughter is an undiagnosed possible “Asperger and or High Functioning Autism person with ADD. Her physician believes ADHD. I feel like I am drowning just barely holding my head up and she is struggling day to day. She really is a good kid with a good heart. Not a “bad kid” either. Her social skills are not good. I try daily with instruction, role-play, words from the heart; we all are constantly trying here. I am at a loss now. Over the years I have sought help, asked for help, sought out information even, and made suggestions and comments on how to react, adapt to my daughter. I tend to blame myself first, then my daughter, and finally the school system/ health system, i also blame my ex husband and his personal issues as well, but I am beginning to wonder. Bottom line I don’t want her “written off”.

Thanks any help would be appreciated. I know this was long winded and to apologize as well.

Lisa,
I just read your post and I am outraged at the very least at how your daughter is being treated by her school. I am thinking maybe a neuropsychiatrist would be a good person to look at your daughter and see if her difficulties can be teased out. I am not an expert on other ld’s but I have adhd as well as my husband and both kids and her behavior I don’t think points strictly to adhd.
If there is a children’s hospital nearby or possibly a medical university, call them and see what you can do about getting a proper diagnosis. You really can’t address schoolwise what you aren’t aware of. Also, maybe a call to a local ld association to discuss how your daughter is being treated by her school. Perhaps they can steer you to an advocate to help. The fact that the school is not implementing existing IEP requirements puts the school in noncompliance with IDEA law as well. I believe you may be in need of professional help in dealing with your daughter’s school. My heart goes out to you both, it is completely unacceptable to find your child hiding under a desk at school because she is so afraid and overwhelmed. I can imagine the mother bear feelings that must have brought out in you. We do so much to protect our kids and it hurts us whenever our kids hurt.
Please let us know how things work out.
Best wishes.
Amy

Hey there,

Thanks so much for your response. I did locate an advocate group. I am suppose to be connected with two different families locally. Hasnt happened yet. The ADHD eval is set for Feb. 03 that was as soon as she could get in. I do believe she needs a neuropsych eval as well. It’s nice knowing that there are others who struggle and dont give up.

Thanks much,
lisa

Lisa,

I too am outraged that your daughter was mishandled to the point of what can only be called abuse.

Please write down EVERYTHING that happened from your and your daughter’s perspective. Send a letter containing this information to everyone involved including the sped director. Explain that you believe this was handled innappropriately and that you expect to be called immediately for problems concerning your daughter.

Do as Amy has suggested. Get a good eval done and have the person doing the eval write out specific intervention strategies. Something tells me this professional won’t be writing, “lock in room and threaten.” Make sure that these recommendations are explicitly spelled out in the IEP. If there are instances where the IEP is not being followed address them in writing. You can get these people on their toes by documenting all the laws they have broken. Don’t have conversations that are not followed up by documentation on your part. Do not take their word for anything.

I am enraged that a child would be treated like that. Good luck and hang in there.

That is so true…however I never felt stupid- I understood what made me different- at least on one level- my LD. Slow Motor Control…(LOL I don’t even know the proper medical term for it- but that is what I have. but I suspect that I have a couple more LD’s though.) I was lucky in that, as a child, I had extended family that helped Dad raise me, until he married again-and believe me, it was a struggle to maintain all the good that my late Grandmother, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins did- insisting that all that could be done was done- to get it through my thick head that I wasn’t ignorant or stupid…in fact, I was reading and comprehending what I read at age three, by the time I was in first grade, I was reading chapter books..especially anything by Beverly Cleary and Carolyn Hayward…By the age of ten, I would have the William Allen White list devoured and well read by Christmas each school year I could get my hands on it…But on the other hand, I was also reading Grandma’s Encylopedia too- Pretty much whatever struck my interest- one summer was Ancient Egypt, and King Tut! Grandma encouraged it…answered any questions I had about it…(Dad was too drunk to care, by the way.) Uncle Leonard made it his personal mission to see that I didn’t flunk Math and Science- via long distance phone calls from Springfield,Mo…Aunt Lou and my cousins Mark and Joni were awesome in that, they took time out to help me practice speaking proper grammar, and practice my handwriting, while Uncle Allen tried to teach me how to draw…(LOL that didn’t work! I still can’t draw, to this day- at least not well, at any rate!) It was Uncle Carl that let me practice my poor attempts at learning the Spanish language on him- with tons of jokes and giggles between us..and Aunt Marilyn that fed my addiction for “useless information” which everyone calls trivia…Aunt Betty encouraged anything creative I did…Aunt Mattie was just there being awesome cheering me on! It was my cousin Dan that encouraged me to learn all I could about the law and the legal system- and fueled my childhood dream of being a Prosecuting Attorney…Greg and Mark fed my addiction to classic rock(The Who, Billy Joel,Grand Funk, Led Zeppelin, The Sweet, Deep Purple,Queen..just to name a few-) although at the time it wasn’t even classic…lol…
So, you see, even though I was just one kid in LD- it took my extended family to make a difference- to make me see I wasn’t stupid, ignorant, or even “Mentally Ill, Mentally Retarded, and Autistic”- as my Stepmother steam rolled my father into believing…..LOL now that Dad’s sober- well a dry drunk, really…I make an effort to watch his favorite game shows,with the both of us playing along- Don’t ask me how I do it, but I always seem to amaze him with what I DO know! LOL….It’s kinda fun when you can astonish your 77 year old father! LOL..
Nita

hi nita

i just got finish reading your post i thing that was great that you had such a faimaly to help you in so meny whays.
i just thought i would tell you that.

and lesa
i was horrifed to read what thy did to your douter that was very crule and heartfull to here it well be with her for a life time unforchenly

hang in there with your presitence she will get her help.

yours truly butterfly :lol:

Regardless,

Your onslaught would be more believable if you would learn to use punctuation, correct spelling, and proper grammar. Learning disabled (LD) does not equal “stupid”. My son is LD, but is also gifted…..very gifted. He earned a full college scholarship and is now a college senior pursuing an engineering degree. Unfortunately, your tender years have not given you the experience and knowledge to speak upon the subject of LD…so don’t! Learn from this experience. Don’t throw stones unless you understand the target. I suggest the following: 1) Remedial English classes; 2) volunteering for the underprivileged (which may teach you some compassion); and 3) think before you speak (or type). There’s hope for you yet, Regardless. You just need to grow up. :roll:

i am glad that your son is doing as well as he is doing but not all ld’s do so well.

not all ld are the same that are all levels of us.
some peaple learn more slowly then other both in the classroom and socely.

i myself still have truble in certon situations becuse i have a tendeces to speek befor i thing things thought.
and i think as myself as a intellget womman.

so i guss if you have perfice spelling and puchation one can bleve someons story and an “exspert” as far as ld.

lesa how is your dauter doing this days?

:D

Ha, ha, ha, Butterfly. You got me!

True, there are many LD individuals who have difficulties in spelling and grammar (my son is one of them), but Regardless didn’t say he (or she) was LD. From Regardless’ comments, I must glean that he/she doesn’t believe LD is real. The point I was making is that, when stones are thrown and arguments made, they are much more powerful if the writer (or speaker) takes the time to assure that they are grammatically correct. No, not all of us are born with the gift of grammar, but most of us have spell check on our computers. Also, LD does not equal stupid. The ability to compensate and overcome depends on many things. The type of LD and its severity, and if the person has any other conditions that will complicate the diagnosis.

Anyway, Butterfly, your post made me laugh. I hope others who read your post understand the humor. Thanks again.