Why are we so afraid?

Hello Amy,

Very well said! I agree wholeheartedly!
The problem is that many people really don’t see how smart we truly are because we do learn differently. I have noticed it, more misunderstandings and misconceptions, since I have graduated from college and entered the “working world” about a yr. ago. A lot more education is needed amongst all of us who have LD and have accomplished great things despite our LD’s.

Keep up the good work and I’ll do the same.

All the best,
Maria

Because of bias. I sure don’t tell anyone I don’t have to. I don’t get hired places if I let them know beforehand, and letting people know has casued me problems.

Tim

I’d have to agree with Tim.

I have disclosed my LD twice when I felt that I was not doing well at the job and twice it has backfired on me.

It was suggested to me not to tell a potential employer who has hired you until right after you’ve been hired. Otherwise you might not get the job.

I’d love to be proud to be LD. I do feel creative, but I haven’t been able to find a way to channel that creativity in a positive way yet.

Hi LDMom!

You definitely weren’t with the right employers then. According to the ADA, you should be able to get accommodations if you ask and, I think, show documentation of the disability. As I’ve said in my earlier posts about Voc Rehab, it seems easier to deal with obvious disabilities like blindness or deafness. However, hidden disabilities like LD are so hard to understand. Perhaps employers views LD as just a poor excuse for poor performance. I think employers need to be educated on these hidden disabilities. It’s a real shame, I must say.

Good luck!!

Christine

Hi Christine,

Thanks for your good wishes. I need them!

LDMom

Amy try your state voc rehab agency. Just kidding. All joking aside employers have been ok to me. Un like Tim and contrary to what Voc Rehab will tell you I believe honesty is the best policy. Why decieve an employer to get a job then ask for accomodation? Employers are not in business to help the disabled. They are in business to make money to stay in business to provide jobs. Unless you want to be the Rosa Parks for the disabled, you should try to find an employer who is sensitive to your needs. However employers expect a certian level of performance from their employees, so if the government would spend it’s money compensating employers who hire disabled people who are less competitive and level the playing field so to speak, there would be lots of jobs for disabled folks and little need for voc rehab. A society should be judged on how it treats it’s disabled and elderly. A kinder and gentler America…..NOT!

My husband has LD and is very ashamed of it. He wants to get his GED and move on to college but is afraid he is not smart enough. I try to encourage him but I feel as if I am talking to a brick wall. If any of you have any suggestions, they would help tremendously.

Tanya

Hello Tanya,

It is too bad, that your husband equates having a learning disability with not being smart, when the truth is, that many of us, who are learning disabled, have above average IQ’s. I think the first thing anyone should do, is make sure they understand their learning disability. Having this knowledge equips us to know how to handle learning a new skill or profession. What does your husband like to do?… A strong interest in something plus understanding how the learning disability will impact, how the information is learned, can equip him ahead of time, with tools he needs, to acheive his learning goals.

I know there has been alot of discussion about vocational rehab, on this board, and lot of it hasn’t been favorable, but i would still look into it, in your state. My husband is in vocational rehab, and not for a learning disability, but he is going to school with others who have been okayed for Vocational Rehab, because they have LD.

Good Luck to you and your husband.

Dear Tanya,

I would strongly urge your husband to continue his education because as my parents have often told me “education is something that no one can take away from you”, it is also true that “education is knowledge and power”. I would encourage you to try and learn as much as you can about your husband’s LD type(s) and then gently persuade him to continue his education no matter what his age is. I, myself, have been in school my whole life and I just graduated with a Master’s Degree 2 yrs. ago. I had a very rocky road in H.S. and early college and the only support I had was from my family. When I was in H.S. my advisor told my parents that I would be lucky to graduate from H.S. but, she told me that I would never pass the SAT (test to get into college) so I shouldn’t even take it because I would “flunk it anyway”. Thank God I didn’t listen to her, and neither did my family. I am not going to lie to you and tell you everything was great because it wasn’t … actually, it was a living hell for a few yrs. Since I didn’t take the SAT, I had to attend a local community college (after H.S. graduation in 1984) on probationary status; after I proved myself then I could take more than 3 classes in a semester. However, with my LD and ADD, I couldn’t take very many classes since not much help was offered. I then was very fortunate to find great friends and then transfer to a private university (U of I - Indianapolis), which was the beginning of a great period of growth academically, socially, interpersonally, and mentally).

To reiterate what I said earlier … the best gift you can give your husband is encouragement, support, empathy, knowledge and continue to never give up on one’s dreams. I have faith that this situation will turn around for the better.

Hope this helps,
Maria

I don’t think it has to do with us being aftraid? It has to do with the fact that we know that the majority of people are ignorant to various diagnosises. Most people have preconceived ideas about individuals with learning disabilities. Many of us do not want to be treated differently. We already feel different from everyone else and we don’t need to add to our problems. Discrimination occurs and will continue to occur. I think the majority of us do not feel ashamed. We just don’t feel like shouting to world our problems.

Wow, Jolene! You stated a very good point that I have thought about numerous times. Thank you very much for your great insight and your time sharing it with us.

Best wishes,
Maria

I agree with you. I am moved for the way you worded what you feel.

Dee

Just to inform you, Did you watch Miss USA last night? Well, if you missed it, i was on a phone call but heard I think, Miss Pennsylvania telling everyone that she has a learning disability but i did not stop her from entering into the competiotion…Did anyone see this as well?

Let me know if i have the correct state!

My life has been full of doubts and I have known some dark moments. But I will never lie about what I am. Even if someone thinks I’m smart, I will go out of my way to let them know that I am also learning disabled. I don’t use it as an excuse, but rather wear it as a badge of honor. I think that if more people did this and if we stood up for our rights more, society would be forced to acknowledge us for what we are: human beings deserving of the respect.

Hello everyone,
I find if you can somehow use your “smartness” to create your own job and be your own boss that is a good way to go. Then you only answer to yourself or a well placed pertner, and if you do well and pick great people to do the work properly with you, abiding within your work ideas, then you are on your way to sucess, hopefully. Does this soundgood to you? Frankly, I feel that the assholes of the world can’t touch me either if I’m heading up things. But perhaps I am a bit naive. But you know what? who cares!!!!!!! it’s working for me.
Thornbird

It’s great that you’re able to think that way but some ppl like me are scared of how others are gonna react to this. I may be a little off the track but I thought the world isnt too nice about these things. I mean especially my friends………I doubt they’re gonna understand what it is even if I explain it. Look around, ppl around me are more smarter and they’re able to take care of themselves as well as knowing what to do in tough situations. Doesnt it make any of you think that ppl are gonna think you’re stupid for having LD?

Great posting! However, I disagree with society approving criminals. Criminals get treated differently, even people who aren’t criminals but looks like criminals, whatever that means to our society. Criminals get many rights taken away. Society doesn’t approve of criminals or even find criminals to be “ok.”

I’m all for people who feel comfortable and who chooses to disclose their LD. It’s powerful to know people with LD have a choice.

For me… well, it is a bit scary even telling you all here, oddly. I am smart and have learned to do very well, but it takes me longer to do things than people who are not LD. I have had my boss tell me, about the ton of paperwork we get at the end of the year or some thing else we have due “all the other teachers have it done”. Sometimes I want to shout, but I am not all the other teachers! I teach math (not arithmetic, but pre-algebra on up) and science, and do a very good job of it, but grading essays in science takes me a long time. I read slowly, for one thing. Paperwork takes me a long time. I have learned how to deal with my weak areas (auditory memory - I write notes to myself, spelling - I use a spell checker and have kids catch my mistakes on the board, etc). But I cannot change the speed at which I work.

I have been told by some kids “of course you can do that, you’re a genius”… but it took me 5 trys to get the spelling of genius to look right… and nothing has ever come easy to me.

I don’t think employer’s would understand my LD; they would think I have less ability or such and would not think I am smart. However, on a timed IQ test, I register above average when tired and superior when well rested. If you don’t time the test (thus eliminating some of the effect of my LD), my IQ is even higher. I am smart, I just process things differently and have to work harder at things.

I realize, if someone who knows me reads this, the cat will be out of the bag… but maybe it is time for people to understand that we are not less intellegent, that people with LD are average or above in intellegence and some of us are even gifted.

Im like a couple weeks late to respond but positive attitude abt LD is good. I mean like Im studyin in Japan and strangely, almost everyone at uni includin my friens have NOT heard about LD. How on earth am I supposed to be proud for bein LD? Of course, like some Japanese professors are aware of LD but most foreigners are more understandin about havin LD. Mostly, I hide from all japanese students about LD becuz I know they’re not gona get me. They’re gona think its stupidity and im incapable of learnin or sumthin so id rather hide about LD in Japan. But of course, when im in Canada or America or sumthin, id definitely tell ppl about my LD.

Though I have had a learning disability since age 4, I kept it a secret from many people for years. The only people that knew were my family, doctors, teachers and very close friends. But no one else knew. Starting when I was in junior high, I had pen pals all over the country. Though I wrote to them frequently and developed great relationships, I never told any of them the truth. Even though they were my friends (from a distance) and I seemed to tell them everything else, I managed to hide my disability from them. When they wrote about what they were doing in school, I told them I was “reviewing” in my subjects. I knew they would probably never stop laughing if they found out that I, a seventh grader, was still learning fractions. And they would never write me again.

I guess this was also my way of reassuring myself that I was normal. At school, I would spend all day in the special ed. room. I had very few friends. I hated being so isolated; I just wanted to fit in with everyone else. If I didn’t acknowledge the “LD” label, it seemed, I was normal.

Now, I am a young adult in my late twenties. I have a full-time job, and own my own home. I do volunteer work, and I have a busy social life. I have received plenty of support over the years to help me with my LD. Most importantly, I have started opening up; now I am not afraid to say, “My name is Laura, and I have a learning disability/difference.” I am not afraid to speak up and tell people what I need. I am not afraid to enjoy life and try new experiences. Though I now acknowledge the “LD” label, I refuse to let it get in my way. Because I have proven to everyone, including myself, that I can succeed.:):)

[color=red]I agree totally with you!! Great point you made!![[/color]color=red]:-)[/color]
[color=green]Frog[/color] [color=brown]xxx xxx xxx[/color] [IMG]http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k194/Frog2_2006/Smiley%20and%20Emoticon/FrogNoLove.gif[/IMG]

[quote=Anonymous]I don’t think it has to do with us being aftraid? It has to do with the fact that we know that the majority of people are ignorant to various diagnosises. Most people have preconceived ideas about individuals with learning disabilities. Many of us do not want to be treated differently. We already feel different from everyone else and we don’t need to add to our problems. Discrimination occurs and will continue to occur. I think the majority of us do not feel ashamed. We just don’t feel like shouting to world our problems.
[/quote]

[Modified by: Frog on December 05, 2006 06:14 PM]

[Modified by: Frog on December 05, 2006 06:32 PM]

In one of the editions of “What Color is Your Parachute?” (must be post-1994, as I read it in grad school), Bolles had a chapter on employment and disabilities. While it is true that the ADA requires most employers to make reasonable accommodations (very small businesses are one exception), the author points out that it’s sometimes useful to express the accommodations as “I find I do my best work when …” and show how the accommodation is going to benefit the employer.

Don’t get me wrong: Whether or not the employer is convinced, there’s a legal obligation. However, the path can be made smoother by appealing to the higher logic involved.

Another book I found helpful, in the case of ADHD, was _Adult ADHD_ by Novotni and ____ (never can remember the name[s] of the other author[s]). They talk about the difference between ADHD as legitimate issue and ADHD as excuse — we do have to recognize that a minority does turn a disability into an all-encompassing excuse for why they can’t do anything inconvenient or difficult. There are good ideas in the book for logical accommodations to request and how to distinguish reasonable from unreasonable accommodations.

This may anger most of you but it is just an observation and it is undeniable fact.

For many years Blacks recieved accomodations in the form of affirmative action. I used to think that was unfair. I reasoned that those of us with LD are as deserving if not more deserving than some minority group for accomodation but the fact is we rarely get accomdations.

I did some research on race and intelligence. I read many studies and I found something startling. Asians IQs average 106, Caucasians average 100, African Americans average 85 and Black Africans average 68. Now I see the needs for Affirmative action and from a real world point of view I see how Blacks are are handicapped intellectually to cope in western society.

The politically correct response is “They are disadvantaged by racism” Unfortuanately the truth is much bleaker. Blacks have smaller brains and less cortical neurons than Whites or Asians.

I figure that if they can give bowlers and golfers handicaps why not do it for people?