Okay what's with this format??Give me a break! I want accomo

Hey Socks,
Glad to see ya here, I lurk but don’t say much. I agree, the format leaves a lot of room for improvement. How’s things? My guys are doing ok these days, no school, no structure but busy anyway. Take care.
Amy

Yes,I saw you! Things are good,crazy busy. We are in the process of moving,god help me!
Being a family of adders and lders you should see the crap accumulated over the last 6 years!These people are driving me nuts. Noone wants to throw anything away,just in case! My youngest has a doll he used to play with. It’s naked,dirty and missing legs,but yet he wanted to keep it,to remind him of when he was young!We have four broken TV’s,six or seven broken stereo’s. Never again! I am goining to throw away all the coupons we never remembered to take to the store. I going to throw awayall the free aol cd’s. I am throwing away all the butter dishes we saved for tupperware. Hell we have sippy cups! My kids are 12 and 13. Anyway,wish us luck!

hey socks..

I have a young woman with ADHD living with us who has been dejunking my house…She is really good at organizing stuff which is so bizarre considering she is ADHD but she is really good at organizing households and she is very fast..We have lived here for 9 years and we are getting rid of stuff…every week the trashcans are brimming and I am not even moving..We have talked about downsizing when I am done with school but for now we are dejunking…. It feels and looks good but it sure is exhausting to go through all this stuff. I hear you on the broken TV’s I have 2 sitting in my garage waiting to go to the goodwill along with all the other junk we have accumulated…My biggest problem has been all my notebooks and printouts from the internet of papers with LD information…Do you have a good set-up to file all your advocacy stuff? I have lots of it in notebooks but I should have them in filing cabinets…

Hah!
a good set up? I have boxes and boxes of paper. I even have boxes with multiple copies of paper. My kids ed docs,are in accordian files,the copies of the docs are in boxes. BUT,I do have stackable clear plastic file drawers for papers and books I HAVE to have sitting next to me. Then there is the sticky notes…. A “good” set up would be nice,never had one of those:-)
I stopped printing articles out a long time ago,used up all my ink,and paper. Now I either save them to my favorites or save them to a disk.. This way if I need them I can locate them. Only problem wih that is,I have boxes of disks,that are full! One of these days I will put them on my webpage!

Yeah,Yeah,we ALWAYS must put up with it THEIR way!
Gotta learn their way,gotta go with the flow,got get a long.
Other wise what’s the point.

All kidding aside,this vent is getting me a break from packing and throwing away junk:-) Glad this board arrived,I promise to visit often:-)

Hey about the organized add’er, my 13 yr old is like that. If we leave him around the house on his own, he can clean and reorganize like nobody’s business! I have neighbors asking to borrow him LOL! He only does it on his own though, gosh forbid I were to actually ask him to do the things he does.
His room is the cleanest in the house, he asked me once at the store if he could buy DUST RAGS. If he gets married he will have to find a neat freak or they will drive each other nuts.

How do you clone him?

My husband was raised by a neat freak. She wouldn’t let him do anything ,because he would not do a good enough job. Today is is the most ineffective person I know when it comes to cleaning. This has caused my kids to be pretty messy. Okay,it is easier to just clean it for them,so some of the ineffectiveness is due to Mommy’s ineffectiveness at allowing the time to teach my kids to clean. BUT THINGs ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE..

Hmm,being a neat freak or not,boh sides of the fence can get pretty irriating.

Dear Socks,

I don’t mean to pick on you, however, your question about this board’s format and your desire for someone else to provide accommodations for you, strikes me as indicative of where so many of us LD adults are at.

Over and over again I read about LD adults needing or wanting accommodations to be made for us, when it is we who must create our own accommodations for ourselves. For example, in my humble opinion, the reason why this board is so difficult to use is because we, the users of the board are so disorganized. Instead of having headings such as, “Okay what’s with this format?? Give me a break! I want accommodations” we, the users of this board might want instead to create our own headings, such as “Diagnosis,” “Treatment Options,” or even, “Horror Stories,” etc. That way, when we are browsing, we can go to the topic that is of the most interest to us. In other words, I believe that far too many of us look toward others to make our lives better, and when that does not happen, we tend to use it as an excuse to either vent our rage, or to fall into depression. Either way, we stop growing. Personally, I can’t see any difference between this format, and any other bulletin board’s format but rather than blaming the folks over at LD On-Line, (who have provided us with this most valuable forum), for your dissatisfaction, why not take control over it ourselves? An easy way to do this is to not respond to people who rather than responding to your topic, put their personal agendas under your posting, or, if we do not want to be rude, we could simply redirect them to the correct heading.

As for the question of access, (I’ve already forgotten whose it was); The next time that you are either reading or posting, simply take a moment and click “Favorites” at the top of your screen. Then click “add-to,” and the next time that you want to get here, scroll down your favorites list, and double click “LD On-Line Bulletin Board” and we’ll just pop right up.

Rob

OK. I am not LD. My son is. I read all these boards to gain information and insight. And I think the format stinks too!!! So I don’t think it is an LD accomodations issue but a more general issue about making boards as easy to read and use as possible.

Beth

Dear Bob,or is it Rob,Sorry,I would have to scroll down to make sure I got your name right,

While I appreciate your comments,and in all honesty it was in jest,that I complained about the format,sort of.
I don’t expect accomodations,accomodations are something of a joke. We all know that.
While I don’t expect accomodations I also don’t expect to use my LD as an excuse either. In all actuality being LD is part of who I am,I am quite capable being LD. I am successful because I am LD. I could tell you nightmares if you would like,but I be willing to bet you have already heard them:-)

What I do not like about this format specificly is not being able to see at a glance the other subjects being discussed. BY the way,yes,I am extremely disorganized,so what? If every other message board on this web site has a different format,I think it would be okay to voice my frustration with this one. And having other agenda’s,I apologize,most of the poster previously are very good friends whom I have corresponded with many years,they were inquiring about how things were going. How’s things with you?

Dear Socks,

Things with me are going along just swimmingly. Thanks for asking. I’m sorry that your sarcasm was lost on me. Also, I am sorry that my contacts at the psychic hotline failed to inform me that you were just chatting with some of your old friends. However, all of this having been said, it does nothing to dillute my point that far too many of us spend way too much time whining and complaining, (present company excluded I am sure), rather than taking personal responsibility for creating our own accommodations. And by the way, I was not trying to suggest that you are disorganized, I was saying that we LD adults tend to be disorganized, (as evidenced by the fact that this board has so many postings on so many subjects scattered across so many headings). Lastly, I am intrigued by your comment that you are successful because you are a learning disabled adult. I think that it would help a lot of people who read these postings, (including myself), if you would share with us why and/or how you believe this to be so.

Rob

Okay friend,I absolutely get your point. But don’t hate me if I am indeed disorganized and tend to wonder off track:-)

Why I am successful as an adult with LD.

I am dyslexic,have been formally diagnosed since the Kindergarten year.
I didn’t learn to comprehend what I read until the age of 12 or so.

I have always seen in 3d picture form. I never see in words.While this was extremely hard during my school years,it has presented to be a plus at work,decorating my house,coming up with ideas,etc.

I am a pediatric nurse. Have been one for 17 years. I have the ability to communicate with children who are not verbal,who speak another language, or by virtue of their developmental disabilities.

I can see what they desire,I suppose this knack stems from visualizing in picutre or situational format. Being disabled I tend to have much more sensitivity in an empathetic sense,rather then in a sympathetic sense. That said,I sepnt many years polishing the skill of accomodating myself. I learned to read,because I one day laid down on my side. This was when the words stopped moving on the paper. Where there is a will there is a way,can’t tell you how many truely strange looking things I have come up with in order for a child to do something.

Being able to visualize the situation rather then not,I have come up with great ideas,that have benifited many others,in my little piece of the world.I made an impact and will leave this world a little bit better then when I was here.

For one small example. I worked at a children’s orthopedic hospital. We,or they formed a committee to try and figure out why so many visiting kids were getting injured. They asked me to be on the committee,by the way they alwasy asked me,because I always came up with something:-) One of the things that was obvious was the patients weren’t getting injured the vistors were? It amazed me that noone could understand why. Of course when asked I had my answer. No patients could get hurt,we don’t provide them that oppotunity. Again,puzzlement. Well there is dignity in risk,we have a playground outside that only physically abled kids could utilize.If we had a playground that OUR kids could use,then one might get injured,or if it was adaptive,maybe noone would get hurt. Well the hospital administrator was there,so what the director of nursing,both were intrigued,we raised funding and built one of the best adaptive playgrounds in our area. The ground of the playground is made of crushed tires. Even the most physically disabled child could utilize it. All because one very dyslexic nurse,could visualize a swing,and think,gee,none of the patients could possible get up there and use it. But hey that’s what I do,and it is directly reflective of the fact that I AM LD.

Dear Socks,

Thank you for sharing how “seeing in pictures” has helped you to be successful. I have read of this ability before, but until you explained it, I had trouble conceptulizing what this meant. Now that I can “see” it, I think that I do the same thing, I just never thought of it as “seeing in pictures,” so, once again, thank you.

Dear AA,

In you posting, you raise several different points:

1. “If we can’t vent on these boards, then what was the purpose of them being created”?

If you will excuse the rather primitive metaphore, venting is like masturbation; There is nothing wrong with it, until it begins to interfere with normal sexual relations between two consenting adults. That is, when venting frees us to grow it is a good thing. However, when venting becomes an end unto itself, it can become self-destructive.

2. Re: Reasonable Accommodations, “…what if I can’t create them and need someone to do it for me so I can perform a job”?

Having researched this subject for the past three or four years, I can tell you with a fair degree of certainty that a grossly disproportionate number of LD adults tend to look toward their significant others and employers to create accommodations for them, and when this does not happen, use this as an excuse to either quit their jobs, get themselves fired, to stop trying, or to drop out of mainstream society altogether. On the other hand, there are also LD adults who have been able to find or to create our own reasonable accommodations for ourselves, and it is this group who tend to be more successful. Lastly, there are indeed situations wherein we have done all that we can do, but nevertheless still need a specific accommodation to be made for us. The trouble is, (in my opinion), that rather than approaching our non-disabled family members, peers, and/or employers with the specific problem, too many of us are either asking for and/or are demanding that they understand who we are, instead of just hitting the problem itself head-on, and asking for assistance. Please don’t get me wrong; Like any other disabled person, we LD adults do indeed have the right to request that accommodations be made for us.
However, unlike other disabilities, because ours is so misunderstood, and because there are so many different types and degrees of learning disabilities, because for many of us our dysfunction is inconsistent, and lastly, as our condition is still generally unrecognized, (by the average Joe), making such requests is significantly more difficult for us to do, and thus, much less likely to bare fruit.

3. “blaming the victim”

Although I would be a liar if I told you that I never thought of myself as a victim, or wished that my disability would just magically go away, here too, I believe that far too many of us tend to place ourselves in the victim role, vs. other people, like Socks, who obviously does not. Do I blame the victim? Yes, as politically incorrect as this may sound, sometimes I do. As with the above, there are two kinds of victims. Those who wear their suffering like a badge of honor, and use it as an excuse to stop growing, and those who find meaning in their suffering and use this meaning to move on with their lives. In my job as a therapist I work with both types of individuals, but I only continue to work with those men and women who are willing and ready to work on their issues. This might sound cold, but when you are quite literally faced with thousands of needy souls, all needing help, hard decisions have to be made.

4. All the rest

Yes, I beleive that if you save the board the way you like it, and even after deleting your cookies, I think that it should come up just fine. At least, this is what I have done, and it seems to work for me.

No, I do not believe that Socks was “out of line.” I simply disagreed with what I thought he was trying to say.

I’m sorry that my lecturing style doesn’t work for you, (you can always just skip past my postings). Like Brad, I too am capable of simply offering advice, (as above), but I can only do that when I am asked a specific question.

Lastly, I’m not sure where you got the notion that I am preaching “the power of positive thinking,” but I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. Rather, I tend to be much more of a pragmatist who believes that no matter how bad your situation may be, by reaching down into yourself, by reaching out to others, and most importantly, by forming an ongoing personal relationship with your higher power that affirms your committment to life, most any problem can be improved upon, but may only be so done with hard work and sacrafice.

Rob

I am a she:-) A mother of two wonderful ADHD/Gifted/LD boys.

May more insightful bantering continue!

Dear AA,

Whew! It looks like I’ve got a lot of comments to respond to, but I will do my best to keep it brief:

1. For the last time, I was not picking on poor Socks!

2. Everybody runs into roadblocks with our bosses, even those who are not LD! The difference with us, is that too many of us not only tend to personalize these insults, but also tend to think of these barriers as being insurmountable, and so never look for or find creative ways around them, such as by brainstorming with other LD adults.

3. Absolutely, there are those of us who need extra assistance and guidance in finding and/or in creating accommodations, and this is one of the main reasons why I am such a strong proponent of LD support groups, and forums such as this one.

4. I’m sorry that I never responded back to you about being tested for reading problems. I really didn’t mean to ignore you, but the truth is, that I have absolutely no idea where to suggest that you go, other than to suggest that you try any old psychologist or vocational rehab agency. But more to the point, why bother? You already know that you have a problem. Instead, I recommend that if you want to improve your reading, that you enroll in an adult literacy class, or perhaps, if circumstances allow, seek out a private tutor. You can even practice on your own, by scaling back your standards, and instead of reading a chapter at a time, or more, practice just reading a single page, or even perhaps just one paragraph at a clip. As for myself, I practice by reading postings and short magazine articles, (something that I try to do at least once per day).

5. Viva La Brainstorm! Name your poison, and let’s go to town! Between what we come up with, and what others add, I am sure that we can come up with some creative solutions to whatever ails you!

6. Again, I am sorry that my suggestion about how to make this board work easier for you didn’t help. Why not try checking with your local egg-head? He or she is bound to know more than me.

Rob

Just one problem with that suggestion, Rob: if it’s actual dyslexia and not ordinary, garden-variety functional illiteracy, justing enrolling in an adult literacy class, hiring a tutor, or reading on her own will not improve her reading skills. Not unless the teacher involved knows how to teach dyslexics. Those who have dyslexia need a very special type of reading instruction: multisensory, structured, sequential, phonics-based, and broken down into parts. (Orton-Gillingham comes to mind.) If it’s just more whole-world or whole language (or whatever version is typically used by such people), the reading instruction will be wasted, and the person receiving it will be no better off than he or she was at the beginning.

Your idea was a good one, BTW—I’m just saying that before enrolling in the class or hiring the tutor, make sure the teacher has been trained in remediating dyslexia. Otherwise, it’ll be time and money wasted.

Yours truly,
Kathy G.

You go girl. Toss it all out. Boy are you an inspiration. Butter dishes saves to use as tupper ware. I’ve been there. I do throw stuff like that out periodically. I save maybe three and toss the rest. Wish you could come over to my house and help me get rid of stuff.

I can’t afford a home organizer to come in, and am too embarrassed to let a friend see my place even if she would hlep.
Ann B.

Hi Socks - If you click on “Flat View” vs. “Threaded View” (or the other way around), then you can see each individual message heading, and don’t have to scroll through all the posts to get to the one you want. :)

Lil

I just checked my advice - and it depends on the screen you are in - sometimes the switch is titled “View Threads” and/or “Expand Threads.”

Lil

Dear Guys and Gals,

I suppose that I must be a glutten for punishment, but here it goes…

Three guys/gals walk into an adult literacy classroom; One is a dyslexic who continually reverses letters, one has ADD-like memory problems, and one is your garden-variety illiterate. My point is that if the two LD adults simply go through the class, without talking to the teacher about his or her specific area of difficulty, little if anything will be gained by having done so. However, if the LD adults were to “teach the teacher,” (and we are assuming here that the teacher is good, but has no specific training or understanding of LD), NOT about LD, but rather about his or her specific areas of dysfunction, then, it is possible that both LD adults may learn tricks or techniques that they will be able to benefit from.

The same is true of therapy. A good therapist is a good therapist. He or she does not have to be an expert on LD in order to help. To quote an A.A. saying, we just have to know H.O.W. That is, to be Honest, Open, and Willing) enough to talk about the specific problem areas that we are having, again, without worrying about giving it a name or a label, and to try out new coping techniques.

To use myself as an example; I am dyslexic. I also suffer from ADD. When I got my last job, I did not say that I am an LD adult, but rather told them that I am a lousy speller, so I am dependent on my spell-check to see me through, (they laughed in empathy), and am sometimes perceived as not listening to others. (They stopped laughing.) This is when I requested the following “reasonable accommodation”: I asked, “Because this is a real problem for me, and one that I am always working on, if you want to hire me, I would ask that if you ever think that I am not listening to you, I would appreciate it if you would let me know.” My supervisor later told me that she made the decision to hire me because the interview team was impressed, not only with my honesty, but also with my self-awareness, and my willingness to tackle the problem. Here again, there was no need for specific disclosure about my disability. The only need was for me to be honest about my strengths and weaknesses, and to demonstrate my willingness to improve.

Rob

I totally agree with you! Unfortunately saying the D word illicates fear in people.

In the purest definition of the word it means only that you have difficulty doing something. For some reason the definition has changed,for many. Maybe the word handicapped,which is the term used by our own federal government has something to do with it?

I truely believe you must “teach the teacher”,whether this is from my own personal experience,or not,it is something that would only be fair to do.

I will however say that it was not just the honesty but the specifics you gave that probably elliviated the fear for your supervisor. Simply saying,well,I am dyslexic,or worse,I am learning disabled,doesn’t say much,and for most,the word doesn’t help the understanding of what the word really means.

Maybe,THIS is what we should be teaching?

Being ashamed of our shortcomings,or differences is very self defeating. Being proud of what can be acomplished despite those differences is what it is all about.

P.S. I have never found a therapist yet who fully understood what having an LD is all about. How fortunate it would be ,a therapist who truely understood.

Dear Socks,

A It’s nice to find us on the same page!

I like this format and I disgree with those who do not like this format. I like this format becasur you can copy all the letters and comment to those you choose to and if the category trully interest you then you can copy the letters and read them at your own pace and come back and comment o comment as you read them. I do not like all the other areas with the links. This way you see all the letters at one time. If scrolling is annoying and the topic is of interest then copy them and read them at your own speed.