Dear all: PT, Erin, Ball,and all…
Please help me to understand my diagnosis with LD. My Perceptual Organization has beem ranked in the 8th percentlile. I don;t understand what this means.
I am expecially devastated today, and hope to receive suppurt, understanding, and encouragenment because after one year with a disclosured LD. I have been unjustly treated, discriminated against, in Nursing College, One year before I am to graduate, after working so so so hard that you can never image the over-learning I needed to do to get throught. I ended up after my Obstetrics rotation being told I failed. The justification made me sick because it was not honest, accurrate, and an abuse of power, the documentation did not reflect honestly how I have been discrimated against.
I have cried for hours. I have had to promise my sister and brother in law that I would not commit suicide, because I don’t know how. If I lived in Toronto i certainly from the disappointment would have jumped infront on the tracks.
I have worked so hard. I find it very hard that mean spirited teacher would give me such a hard time to get rid of me.
I am a loving spirit, wanting to help all. I am honest and it has not got me now where. Is God telling me that I am not supposed to be a nurse. Somehow, I need to make sense of this abuse.
Please, people, like me. Help me understand and go on.
Claire.
Re: HELP ME UNDERSTAN PERCEPTUAL ORGANIZATION DIFFICULTIE I
Hi Claire,
My heart aches for you regarding the injustice you have been dealt in failing that nursing rotation. You have every right to feel the way you do. But suicide is not the answer even though it may feel like it is. But you are grieving over a loss amd even though someone didn’t die, it feels like your dreams did with this failure.
Unfortunately, Claire, honestly doesn’t always win out in this world. There are some mean SOB’s out there.
Do you live in the US or Canada? Even though I returned to school myself, I am not sure what your rights are if you fail something like that.
Many years ago, I thought a teacher unfairly failed me in Freshmen English and I was able to get that reversed by appealing to the chairman. I realize though this is a totally different ballgame but you still might want to see what the appeals process is. If that teacher’s decision is upheld and being the cynic that I am, my guess is it would be, is suing a possibility?
The drawbacks are you need alot of money and you have to find a lawyer who is willing to take the case. It sucks, doesn’t it?
Sorry Claire, I have no good answers for you. But here is a cyber hug <<<>>>>
PT
PS - Don’t have the foggiest idea on perceptual organization.
Re: HELP ME UNDERSTAN PERCEPTUAL ORGANIZATION DIFFICULTIE I
Claire,
Keep plugging away. I don’t want to sound insensitive but with my type of disability you would not want me flying the plane you are in or dispensing your medicine. My disability puts me at risk and in certain situations put others at risk. But I wasn’t there and I didn’t wittness what happened to you.
I would go after the approprate targets if it is justified.
Can you try again?
I am concerned about your emotional state. The holidays can get us down and the blow you suffered must have been a double whammy but if you made it this far you can overcome this set back. We LDer have some advatages. We are very creative and very resourceful.
As far as the injustice you sufered goes all I can say is I’m a big proponent of do it your self justice. Kinda like a twist on the Golden Rule. Just don’t get caught. You have probably heard that the reason to forgive another who wronged you is not for them but for you. What I suggest is revenge so that you can have a good laugh at the S.O.B.s expense and you won’t end up feeling like a victim. Putting the screws to some evil doer is very satisfying and enjoyable. I stopped playing by the rules a long time ago. Now people have toplay by my rules. Do unto others but don’t get caught.
I read a book by George Heyduke called Screw Unto Others. It is a book on do it yourself justice. Cause the witch some grief. Call her husband. Make her want to repaint her car or get new tires. I hate getting a flat tire during a snow storm. Fix a Flat won’t work in the cold.
Anyway, hatch a good plot and do some other immature stuff. It works for me. Also it creates a mind set and an aura that says “Don’t screw with me”
Claire there are two great motivators those are fear and money. Don’t ever forget that.
You will get through this try going through channells but if that fails you have other options.
Okay, call upon your loving spirit when you wnat to end it — fact is, no matter how useless you (feel you) are, people get all bummed out when somebody they know kills themselves — or even somebody they don’t know. SO even if you are 100% sure you’re using up extra oxygen on the planet, know that the only way to make things worse is to add to others’ anguish and trauma. And besides, then the mean spirited folks would win.
If the only people saying you shouldn’t be a nurse are mean-spirited ones who do not undertand LDs, then that ain’t the voice of God. Are there people who do understand you and your dreams and abilities and disabilities? And if so, what do they say? If you’re like me you can find lots of people who sort of understand but might underestimate the realities of your LDs — but they’re good to have around at times like this.
You’ve been wounded — treat the wounds, and give them what they need to heal. Try & brainstorm all the possibilities you’ve got, but stop if your head’s in a place where every “brainstorm” gets such a negative no-faith-in-yourself answer that you’re ready to call Trent Lott for advice on public speaking. It’s best to find friends that will supportively brainstorm with you.
It ain’t over, even if it’s over. First I’d see what my options were for getting a true, fair assessment/evaluation — not for this situation, unless you’ve got some good process for appealing, but it osunds like this lady holds all the cards. But in some other path towards nursing or some other place.
My second teachnig job I had a very sweet nurturing principal, but my teaching style wasn’t her teaching style so with ever so much regret she said she wasn’t renewing my contract but gosh golly, of course she’d give me a decent refernece. That was her first & last year as a principal — oh, she lied by the way. Her “recommendation” included that I couldn’t control a class (something nobody else in my 15 years of teaching has ever even suggested, but I did not have each student doing exactly the same thing in the same manner at the same time — did I mention that this lady was a little compulsively organized?) and a few other delightful phrases. (Don’t ask how I found out what the “confidential” recommendation said.)
It didn’t take me too long to get over that — I simply specified whose recommendations to include in my portfolio, and since she wasn’t a principal any more it wasn’t as if they’d call the school & talk to her. Eventually I found a wonderful job with supportive staff and great working conditions.
I still couldn’t do it, not to my satisfaction, not to my supervising peoples (even if they were still on the compulsively organzied side). That rather sucked - why look for the perfect job if you are too incompetent to do it? I had a neuropsych and yea, I was down there in the 4th percentile in a couple of interesting categories myself — keep in mind, though, that if your testing was anything like mine, it’s that percentile compared to people with similar educational backgrounds, so the bottom 15% or so of the population aren’t factored in.
‘bout that time I did start getting enough exercise (figured I’d better do *something* good for me). So a couple hours of any given week I wasn’t … well, pretty much in a similar spot to yours, wondering just what the h*** I was supposed to do with this “brilliant” flawed self that I was so thoroughly sick of being. And finally I had the sense to talk to some friends of mine from one of the less-than-perfect jobs I’d had (which made me realize that my job was “supportive” but I dind’t have friends there), and talk about options and places to go and things to do.
If your issues are with the academics of the nursing training, and not with stuff that’s doing the nursing, then keep plugging and find ways to get *fair* assessments of what you can do. And you really don’t know what good you can wrest out of this situation — doesn’t undo the bad, but it is good in and of its elf and has its own meaning and value.