Let people know that LD adults can function in the real worl

I’m glad you said that. Of course, adults with LD can function quite well in the real world. I had thought that adults that couldn’t were rare, but like you I had a brother who never could quite get his hands around it. He couldn’t get past blaming other people. It was always the mean teacher, the bad boss, or the government that was the source of all his problems. He was quite brilliant, probably smarter than his teachers or bosses, but his career ended up being a stock boy in a grocery store. He lives by himself and has no friends. People tried to help him even when he was a kid, but he was too angry, paranoid, and embarrassed to take it. No one did this to him. He did it to himself. It’s sad, but there it is.

Mamm:

What good would it have done him ? Okay… he gets help from people, however, in the world what the boss wants produced is a good bottom line. He dosesn’t able to produce: he is RIFED. It is a bit of society’s fault that LD is such a problem today. In the 19th century people did not make a big deal of it as they do today. People moved at their own pace. Today too many experts try to diagnose LD like crazy getting a already stressed society more anxious about will my child make it today ?

It has been my experience that when you ask for a hand up you usually end up getting a kick in the teeth. Don’t judge your brother as a malingerer. No two LD cases are alike. He may appear quite brilliant on the surface but if his processing speeed is as slow as mine no wonder he is pissed off and feels pissed on. Comaring your LD and his LD is like comparing apples and oranges. Comparing his life experience and your is cruel to him. He has had it thrown up in his face enough. He probably feels like a pathetic loser and all he has left is his outrage. So what he stocks groceries. It is better than being a lawyer or an OVR worker.

Your brother is fed up and he is tired of feeling frustrated. Jobs are not easy to come by for anyone. Add LD to the mix and it gets harder. If he discloses his LD do you think he could ever land a good job.

I have worked in sales and my LD has been quite trouble some. Thing like getting lost on the way to a sales appointment or trying to talk intelgently after having a “brown out” caused by overload.

I also worked as a monkey carpenter and I can’t tell you how many time I screwed up reading my square or tape measure much to the dismay of my boss. It is also really nice overhearing other workers discuss your screw up as either stupidity or drugs. It is also a lot of fun being treated like a pirriah because your co worker think you are a dumb ass.

Before you judge your brother walk a mile in his shoes.

I really learn a tremendous amount from your contributions. I have found out that I have an LD about 1 year ago. I have functioned in denial for a long time. I’m 41. Now, I’m having an identity crises. I’ve been fired from jobs, and kicked out of schools. When people meet me, they think i’m intellingent because I look good, have sophistication, talk well, but, I’m a really slow processor and have short-term memory problems in the 7th percentile. You, ball have helped survive this year. Thank you.

I sense that you are not trying to be judgmental toward your brother, but you are, without realizing it. To say that you and your brother are both LD, but the difference is that you have managed better is like saying that my sister and I are both in labor. She is screaming her head off and demanding pain medication. Meanwhile, I’m uncomfortable, but doing okay. I deliver the baby after, say, 8 hours of labor,without medication and my sister in the next room delivers after 24 hours and a c-section. I’m elated and receiving visitors that evening, but my sister looks and feels like she has been run over by a truck. Do we suppose that my sister had a worse time of it because she has a poor attitude or because she didn’t try hard enough? After all, we were both having babies! It’s kind of like that. You and your brother both have LD, but not exactly the same LD because nobody does. And even if you did, you don’t have the same psychological make-up. You handle things differently. I would be willing to bet that your brother’s LD is more serious than yours. This could explain why he has been fired from jobs and you haven’t.

Ask anybody on this board who has had the experience-more than once for many of us- of being fired. It does some things to your head. It makes you very reluctant to even try to get another job. And when you do, you don’t want a job that’s too challenging. You might get fired again. So you choose something that you are pretty confident that you can do. For me, I need something that does not involve multi-tasking. I simply cannot multi-task with my particular disability. I also need something that does not involve a lot of learning or a lot of steps. It’s not even that I couldn’t learn it , at least some of the time, but I can’t learn it as fast the employer wants me to learn it.

So guess what I am now doing for a living? Housecleaning. Here I am, a graduate of a well-respected university, and the only job I can get is housecleaning! And you want to hear something funnier? I love it! It’s better than any other job I’v ever had because I am my own boss with nobody breathing down my neck I also like it because it is something I do well and my customers notice and appreciate my effort.. Besides, I make $20/hr at it when the best I could hope for in my local community is 7 or 8 dollars an hour.(Wages are terrible here).

I have been married for 20 years to my best friend. Would you believe that I only confided this vulnerablity to him a couple of months ago? I have to think that he suspected something was up when I got fired from a series of jobs many years ago.I have never told this to anyone, other than my husband. It is just too painful It would not surprise me if your brother is going through the same thing. Love him. Be supportive of him. And introduce him to this bulletin board so he can connect with people who understand.

Claire, I bet you feel like me a lot of the time. I feel like an obsolete computer that somebody has loaded with all these great programs but my CPU is just too slow to run any of them well.

I wish it could be as easy as an upgrade. When I am not venting on these boards or getting really frustrated with my self I can charm the fleas off a dog. but that dog always seems to lead me back to square one.

Earlier in the thread I can relate to what Erin is saying about multi-tasking and doing work that is not too far out of our cognitive comfort zones.

I think a good inventory of our strenghts and our weaknesses is especially valuable for those of us with cognitive deficets.

I can relate very much to what you shared. I have been having a real hard time holding down a job, even a part time job. I also deal with depression and anxiety too. This doesn’t make my struggles any easier. I was tested in middle or Junior High, but never knew that I may have had ADD till my adult years. I was in remedial classes. I am now for the first time, having to learn many math concepts that I never learned in Junior or High School yrs. I did feel like I was stupid. I see how the schools here in the midwest, and am happy that children that are struggling with learning disability hopefully are getting a lot more attention these days. I have felt for a long time that I was ripped off, regarding my education because of this learning disability. I am now trying to get on disability, because of my depression and learning disabilities.

Dear Ball,
i can relate to your message. I am almost 30 trying to find myself. After struggling in college to get a degree. Teachers are often one of two things harder on you or eawsier on you if you have an LD. They associate LD with lazyness

I have been struggling with employment for a long time, and don’t feel heard sometimes. I have a hard time just holding down a job, and others don’t seem to understand.
He or She may say something so insensitive. I just met with a Psychiatrist. I shared with her how I would like to try once again to get on disability, but she was negative about it. I know that’s real difficult getting on disability, but at the same time I have no motivation and interest in working- even though I do need the money. I have been divorced since Oct 3 of 2002. I am getting alimony, for only for a yr. He recently gave me $100, but that isn’t enough to cover my rent. I am still waiting for my student loan refund check, but it may be a while. In the meantime, my rent is going to be late. If it’s possible that those of us who have learning disabilities can function in the real world, then why am I struggling so much?? I sometimes ask myself that without no response as usual. I am so desperate tonight. I have been eating a lot, and not sleeping good. Maybe I have gotten way off the subject. I apologize, but just wanted to talk I guess.

It’s great that you’re doing so well coping with your LD…and so sorry to hear that your brother is having such a hard time of it. I’m going to be 35 in a few months, and really feel like giving up- I just can’t see my way from where I am- taking care of my elderly father for the past few years, no work- last time I even had a job, Dad,and his wife managed to completely trash out my life- got me fired, evicted illegally from the house I was renting….and shunned from my local Christian Community. I feel that it all happened because I was getting my crap together, and cutting away people and things I no longer wanted in my life because I wanted- and still do want to function as normal as possible despite my LD. But, I don’t see how. I don’t think I can stand going through getting to that point where I can start seeing the trees for the forrest- only to have it all raped from me- yet again…I was born with a disability that means that my brain processes information and stimuli differently than the average “bear” means that I’m just supposed to belly up, and accept substandard everything?! Yet, my family thinks this means” Genita isn’t capable of having a life of her own, or intelligent enough to know how to handle it?!” Excuse me, I don’t freakin’ think so!
My disability isn’t so much in being slow in taking in information- I was damn good with book learning when I was in school- when I applied myself- I just got damn sick and tired of my father and his wife accusing me of screwing my teachers to get those good grades….and damn sick and tired of getting slapped for calling them liars and telling them they didn’t know what the hell they were talking about- they weren’t there day in and day out watching me in school, learning my lessons! No, my disability comes in in terms of hands on- writing,-hell, anything hands on. Not only does my brain take in that kind of information slower, but when it comes to actually doing hands on stuff, I’m slower, too…It’s taken me two years to increase my typing speed from a scant 20 words a minute to what it is these days- between 30 and 40 wpm…It’s not that I’m ignorant- I’m NOT…I’ve been reading and UNDERSTANDING what I read since I was three…I’ve got a fairly extensive vocabulary, and a way with words,
Have an uncanny knack of cutting to the chase in nailing down the basic idea of things- also am a good ideas person, as well as darned good at locating resources and ways and means of getting help, or things for people that they need Fairly creative too- excellent eye for color…… and more than once have been labeled either a brain, or a brainiac…But Math? God! I hate the stuff! I don’t mind it as long as it’s presented in a puzzle form kind of thing- like algebra equations, or even proportions or ratios—fractions are fun…but decimals division, word problems! Hate the stuff! I don’t know why- but I can’t wrap my brain around them! LOL only thing is, my strengths are the kind of things where a college degree is needed to use them….From a lot of experience, as a general laborer, working rat on a tread mill kind of jobs- none of my strengths have done me a damn bit of good in terms of getting a job and keeping it! I’m so close to just throwing in the towel and saying “@!#$ it- ok, Genita, time to be a bum on the streets..get over it and accept it!”…
Nita