hey

Hi Dew,

Yes, from about 3rd grade until I left home at 18. My mom kept telling me what an embarrassment I was, that I wasn’t trying on purpose just to humiliate her. She reminded me in all sorts of ways on a daily basis that I made her life a living hell. The teachers were telling her I wasn’t applying myself, not working up to my potential. They all told her I should have more confidence. How could I? I couldn’t do what they wanted and I had no idea why. Confidence comes from having success. Looking back I don’t understand how they couldn’t see that. The other thing is that these teachers never approached me, only my mom so I never knew until many many years later that they were concerned about me. I just got a ration of *&%$ from my mom after they spoke to her.

I had a guidance counselor who looked at my IQ score (a really old verson given 30 years ago, an even worse indicator than more current versions) and told me I wasn’t very bright, that I shouldn’t bother worrying about my low grades or trying to improve them because I didn’t have the potential. I’d like to show the ignorant sob how I turned my life around, but I haven’t. Yet. It took me two years to pass Algebra (barely) but I couldn’t have done that without a tutor. How could anyone have confidence after being spoken to like that? The ignorance about this is appauling.

My brother (who is now a physicist) tried to help me with my homework and unless I pretended to understand it usually turned into a shouting match, with him telling me I’m not listening, or I’m not trying. He had good intentions but he was just a kid then too. Not one of us understood what was going on, but whenever there was a problem it was blamed on me. I was a really angry kid.

I wake up every morning struggling to stay positive about the second half of my life.That’s all I have right now, I refuse to let it all beat me down.

Any of this sound familiar? I’d like hearing more about how it was for you.

Audrey

Audrey,

I’m still an angry kid in a lot of ways and I have heard most of what DEW has outlined.

I try now to direct my anger outward on the ones who need to feel my rath so to speak.

I got tired of feeling like @!#$ so I excelled in sports and I got into drama club. I taught myself music guitar and bass and have played semi-professionally in local bands.

Learning my instrument was hard but what I lack/lacked in musicianship I made up in feel and creativity. Today I am somewhat sought after for my playing ability.

We talk alot about our deficets maybe we should talk about our strenghts. If it sounds like bragging, so what!
We deserve to blow our own horn once in a while.

The thing DEW was talking about are sometimes done out of love but I guess that’s why they hurt even more than outright insults.

We are better than we think we are.

Audrey,
I am a 30 year old African- American woman who overcame both a learning disability and language disorder. I can relate to what you went through. In my early years I have been emotionally abused by my peers and sometimes my family. I have proven them wrong by perserverance and tenacity. I have an Associate and Bachelor’s degrees. I am on the process of becoming involved in Law Enforcement. We all have weakness that is why God has made us. Keep on having faith and trusting in God (if you beleive in Him). He will see you through.

Hi Kimley,

Were there specific things recomended after your tests were done that helped you to get where you are? You sound like a very strong and resourceful person. I’ve always been resilient and I’m sure that will help me in the long run.
I’m not very religious but I do have spiritual beliefs and I do believe there is a bigger reason why I’ve been given this weakness. The purpose of my life is wrapped up in doing something positive with it.

I had difficulty with my peers too, I was teased mercilessly by two of the meanest kids at camp! I seemed to be their favorite target. It happened in grade school too, I just never seemed to fit in. At some point in HS I discovered the visual arts and that gave my battered ego an identity I felt proud of. Although I still didn’t really fit in anywhere the way other people did, this new sense of myself changed the way everyone reacted to me. Wasn’t a conscious thing, we all respond better to people who feel good about themselves.

It always helps me to remember that everyone has their weaknesses and people can overcome the most oppressive things. It’s important to me that I learn to do something productive with the anger. That’s a tough one - most of us don’t want to let it go or reign it in. It’s a powerful force though, and when combined with our strengths, who knows what we can accomplish.

Thanks so much for the encouragement…

Audrey

Hi Dew,
Sorry I havent goten bake to you, I have gotten raped up in an on line game. Earth and beond, Can you beleve it? To talk to other players I have to tip.To my suprise no one mines nor do they try and bring my spelling to light. It’s been grate fun. Im so glad I tryed.
Any ways to anser your queston; yes. My x-husband was LD and evan he gave me a hard time, but i must say in his defens he gave him self just as mush punichment. He was brain washed buy the (non belevers) that beat him up.
My step fathere that came in to the picher when I was 11 sead the things that we all hear redundently “Its all in your head, your not apliing your self bla bla bla bla…..”
Im 27 now and after working for him off and on he fiale confest that he couldent exept that some one so “brite” could have such a disorder.Now he does.
any was we have allllllll heard it. I fell that there comes a point in a persons life that you need to say im not kid any more STOP TRETING ME LIKE ONE !!!! This is how I am. Thats not to say one should stop trying to bettre ones self, I fell thats a formost responsabilaty of being a homosapean.
I have found the more people ride me about it the dumer I fell; intern the old saying “you hear it anuph youll beleve it” comes in to play.Whene Im around thouse people I get anches and every thing terns to popo.If I get away frome thous kind of people or at lest give my self an exicated / intelagent out-let, it amasing I tern into an intelegent person agean. Im not such a cluts and Im not messing every up.
Two words bab………..stand up.
Much thought and understanding,
Toni in cal.

im 26 and live on my own…my parents still treat me like im 10 they think im not capable of doin nothin on my own they say let me help you wiht that and if i do somethin right like pay my car payment they say im so proud of you farrah it gets annoying and so forth..i need to be on medication but cant afford it and phycologists and expensive also i saw a counslour and a phsyc for 6 yrs..