I really didn't appreciate the rude email I got this mornin

There are all kinds of people on the Net — one of the hazards of including your email address is anybody can say anythign to you. Fortunately you’re smart enough not to believe what they say — the next best thing is not to even give it the time of day.

That will prevent them from hastling you again.

And not that I would ever encourage anyone to be spiteful or stoop to a level lower than they should, but it occurs to me that if they emailed you, then you have their addy, and tho I would of course resist the temptation, it would be so easy to sign a person up for about a bazillion types of spam…

But then I am sure you are much to mature for anything like that…

LOL no, I deleted it, actually…but, the truth be known, I never had much of a tolerance for ‘educated idiots’ such as the one that sent that rude email! LOL..I figured the best way to go about it would be to basically rip the individual a new rectum on the board….LOL..ok, so it was spiteful, and perhaps very immature….but it more than got the point across! I’d like to think I’m intelligent…but sometimes I’m not so sure! LOL….The only excuse I can offer for my going off like that is hormonal insanity and a hot temper? (PMS)….LOL..
Nita

oops wrong message! Grrr. anyway,yeah, I’m not that spiteful an immature…not worth my time- why do that when I could be spending my time surfing for far more fun and better things– Crochet patterns! (Never can have too many of those!) LOL..
Nita

Hi Genita,

I’ve been reading your messages and I can’t for the life of me figure out what this person was thinking. It says a lot that they weren’t willing to challenge you publicly. This is their issue not yours. I think your reaction was a healthy one. So many of us have been bullied throughout our lives in one way or another, glad you stuck up for yourself so well.

Audrey

LOL thanks so much Audrey! I really appreciate your kind words. I made a promise to myself when I had to make the arrangements to put my stepmother in the care home- that I would allow no one to bully me or cast aspersions,castigate,belittle me anymore- just because I’m LD. AND I would do it with class,intelligence, and with dignity… LOL it really wasn’t so long ago that my reaction would’ve been far different that what I, in actuality did in handling it. I really think that’s the thing with bullies- often they don’t have the right information, or care to get their hands on the right information- and choose to act like educated idiots. Or whatever other screwy thought processes factor into it! Doesn’t matter to me either way…I know who I am, what I am, and how being LD affects me, and my life. But also at the same time, I try to be as positive, and contribute something positive. I see other posters on here, and really feel sad because of their difficulties in expressing themselves in written form- you know, bad usage of grammar, bad spelling,ect…It just makes me grateful and thankful that I’m doing as well with my LD as I have…
I’m just sorry that the cowardly poster felt that they had something to prove - and chose me as a target. Truth be known, I really hate having to get mean like that. I’d rather be easy going, polite, courteous, as well as fun to hang out with, and having something positive and worthwhile to contribute, and hope that it’s helpful or inspiring…..but also on the other hand, I want it known that I WILL stand my ground if I need to…LOL in other words, this LD female’s got a brain,teeth,claws, and an extensive vocabulary- and NOT afraid to use it! LOL…

“LOL in other words, this LD female’s got a brain,teeth,claws, and an extensive vocabulary- and NOT afraid to use it! LOL…”

Will you protect me too?
Wren: (smiling)

I don’t get it, how could someone comment on your printing ability or cursive writing? Not something that could be seen on the internet. Think it could have been someone you know in real life, and they knew you posted here? Something to think about I guess.
Toodles.

LOL if someone messes with ya just tell me! LOL…no really I don’t stand for bullying in any way shape or form! Oh, it was someone on this board whom I didn’t know- just wanting to stir the feces, I guess…If I remember correctly, it was more like a curiosity question asked on the board- which do you mostly use printing or cursive? I answered the question quite honestly- I can do both- granted my Cursive isn’t like what they taught in school, it’s my own way of doing it, basically a cross between the two…and quite readable, and alot neater than the traditional style of ‘cursive’ so to speak…and I also print well…I guess the poster took exception to my answer, or was jealous that I’d worked very hard to accomplish it? Who knows…LOL I just saw red that they would dare make threats and assumptions with out knowing me or the whole story! Ah well, they’re leaving me alone, they got the point! Let ‘em bathe in their own stink! if ya know what I mean!? LOL..
But yeah, sure, someone gets lippy with ya on board, and wants to talk trash, get stupid or whatever- just email me,girl…let me know! LOL..
Nita

ciao

Whatever!

my name is jennifer and i am a 29 year old adult.i am from the washington dc area and i am learning disabled too.whenever i try to explain my disabilty to people they look at me and they say whats that thats weird?you dont know what you are talking about you are just stupid and lazy.
only you know whats wrong with you and you are pretty brave to explain what kind of disabilty you have .people arent understanding and they lack compassion.so i just think people with learning disabiltys should stay with their own kind.ive tried for years to get along with people who dont have disabiltys and ive been rejected so ive given up trying..so i just want you to know that i am on your side and you are welcome to email me back if you want too.

Jennifer,

I know how you feel.I’m 23 and when I started looking for work I asked myself one question,do I tell people I have LD or hide it?Well,lets just say I’ve lost five jobs.At first I didn’t tell people and after a week they fired me because
I couldn’t do the job.Then I tried telling people and most wouldn’t hire me but
one guy did but treated me so badly that I had to quit.I can’t win.I don’t have
any friends or a job because of my LD.

Man I really sorry I missed that post boy oh boy sure sound like an act of God
Pun intenteded
Bonnie

Thanks for the complements! I suppose attempting to explain my disability could be seen as brave- but some would call it proof of insanity! LOL…or even sheer stupidity. Who knows…but, I feel it’s only fair, and being honest to disclose my LD- usually after I get the job….in some cases, it paid off, in others I paid dearly! 8)

As for how people perceive learning disabilities? Well, I think for the most part the general public aren’t even aware of what a problem this is for those of us who have it. So, what I feel would really be helpful is some kind of education campagne to teach the general pubic about LD, and how it impacts just about every level of the lives of those who have it. ( 85% of the general public believe that LD is linked to Mental Retardation!) Also, due to this ,those of us with LD have to suffer with the stigma that being LD forces into our lives! (Just like the stigma that the mentally ill, gay people, and even those that practice earth based or pagan religions have to deal with,too…) They’re NOT going to understand unless they themselves have it or someone they love and care about has it…or they’ll find a way to understand it, if they love and care about you enough….

I’ve been in the not hired boat for years…and have found that it’s hard to get a good job….AND one with benefits,too…yeah, I’ve about given up,too..but then again, I just turned 35 in May….(Middle age is creeping up on me! LOL..)
Nita

Hi

I am Amy. I am 20 years old. I was diagnosed with NLD and ADHD.

Way to go!! Good Job sticking up for yourself! :D

That was a good way of dealing with it!

Its good to stick up for yourself when people are rude.
I am learning this after years of being bullied.

[b][/b]

Genita,

If this discussion were moderated and you saved the email, you could forward it to a moderator and they could then advise the sender to be gentler.

If that didn’t work, they could then ban the sender from this board.

Things rarely get out of hand on a moderated discussion board but I’m not seeing much evidence of moderation here.

Did you save the email or at least the address? Do you know who the person is? There is a memberlist at the top you can search.

Hi, Richard.

I’m glad to see you have your site in your profile. It is a wonderful site and I hope others visit it.

As for the moderation over here…many of us feel it is way under-moderated. As a matter of fact, I left for six months over disgust with the behavoir of some of the posters. No doubt, I’ll get flammed for that line and have to leave for another six month. :lol:

This board is hosted by WETA, a public TV or radio station. The moderator has stated that free speech is very important to the powers that be and censorship/deletion will be kept at the lowest possible level. It their board and therefore thier call. I’m just glad I have found other, more helpful boards.

Ah, the six month thing.

I noticed my profile says I joined the middle of 2003 so that line looks stupid. Actually I have been around for at least a year, probably longer. The board was reformed or something and everyone had to rejoin…

Barb,

Thanks for the kind words (and the email).

Moderation is not just about free speech (or limiting it); it’s also about being helpful in situations where people need it.

I built and run the Community Center at:

http://www.alphasmart.com

It has a huge amount of activity from all over the world and is a very successful board.

One of the main reasons for this is moderation. I don’t think it’s a matter of opinion; most everyone using it would agree.

Our moderators not only answer questions but also guide people in online etiquette (netiquette) and are universally helpful. Think Disneyworld employee. We don’t cheerlead AlphaSmart products but we try to keep the discourse civil. Users really appreciate this.

However, a discussion board focussed on LD issues is a different animal in that some of the people who use it are frustrated, mad, upset, or looking to vent and this is a great place to do that.

Moderating that kind of energy would be tough but I think it can and should be done in that it will make the quality of “life” here better.

For our 4000 plus users we have about 20 moderators, some of whom moderate foreign language forums as well as English speaking forums. We also have two private moderator forums that users can’t get into. That’s where we talk among ourselves to solve problems behind the scenes. These forums are quite useful.

Our moderators work without pay and are chosen by me from the ranks of serious users who are knowledgeable but more importantly, have the right attitude (helpful, courtious, small ego involvement).

Anyway, it works out well for us there and it would be easy for the board administrator here to set up moderation and moderators from the ranks of serious users.

[quote:05de55c413=”Richard”]Genita,

If this discussion were moderated and you saved the email, you could forward it to a moderator and they could then advise the sender to be gentler.

If that didn’t work, they could then ban the sender from this board.

Things rarely get out of hand on a moderated discussion board but I’m not seeing much evidence of moderation here.

Did you save the email or at least the address? Do you know who the person is? There is a memberlist at the top you can search.[/quote]

Actually,no..it’s been SO long ago…with three ISP changes, ect,- I never did keep that email…rather, as I Mentioned earlier in the thread I deleted it…But, if I had known that option was available, I would’ve gone that route, rather than lighting into that other person…( Probably didn’t know any better, or wanted to make an idiot of themselves for whatever reason..)
Genita

The moderation here is getting better. Recently there was a *highly* inappropriate post on the “General” board (didn’t anyone else see that one?? Nothing whatever to do with LD or anything else on this site, and likely to offend a large proportion of the community) — I reported it to the moderators and it was removed pretty quickly. They also remove posts recommending violence and criminal activity and containing very inappropriate language, when these things are brought to their attention. If a post is offensive on the basis of community standards, *not* just your personal opinions, send a pm to LDOnline and they will take care of it.

Unfortunately, different people have different ideas of moderation. If Richard is the person I think he is — my apologies if I have the wrong Richard here — he is very much in favour of controlling the discussion to have everyone agree with him, but when someone ( i.e. me and some others) believes something different, it is perfectly OK for him to insult me every which way, as he did. That isn’t moderation, it’s mind control and dogma. Sites run on these lines will have a lot of self-praise and support of their own programs and be very nicey-nice, but have very little dependable or scientifically-proven fact, and a lot of myth and often dead wrong and disproven theories — always a problem in education circles. (How do you think the worst excesses of “whole-language” keep going? Nobody is allowed to disagree with the dogma, and it’s not nice and not supportive to say anything negative ever …)

Free speech means listening to some opinions you think are ridiculous or dead wrong and putting up with some people you don’t care to spend time with. Too bad. You have to put up with them so that they will have to put up with you.
Scholarly discussion means arguing the correctness or incorrectness of arguments on their factual merits and never ever on the basis of personal likes or dislikes. You make yourself listen to the other person’s arguments and you try to change your mind (difficult but necessary) when you see facts that contradict your opinions. You try to change their minds with facts and demonstrations, never with either manipulation or personal attacks.
This is a website devoted to improving education and helping learners. Both free speech and high standards of academic discussion are the only way we will get any advances.

So, what to do when someone breaks the rules? The original question involved an insulting and offensive personal email. Well, the response of showing up the sender publicly as irresponsible and mean-spirited seems appropriate to me! I try not to escalate conflicts by doing worse than the original, but you can’t just be a doormat and invite them in either. I suggest letting things cool overnight or even for a week before sending off a reply. Same for bad posts — you can disagree with them politely on the basis of facts, but when they descend into name-calling and trashing the board with mass hurtful posts you have to take action, get things banned if they are clearly out of line, and show the trolls up for the poor-spirited losers they are otherwise.

Dear readers,

Just a note on bulletin board moderating. LD OnLine does not have a large staff, but we do read as many messages as we can each day. We want our forums to be a place for information, support, and the occasional spirited debate.

As you all know, the topics we cover can be emotionally charged. Many parents are frustrated when trying to help their children. Adults with LD have share many stories of their struggles. We want our community to feel that there is room for sharing both their good and bad days. We will, however, step in if we find posts that contain blatant misinformation or are abusive.

To that end, we ask our community to feel free to contact us any time there is a question on a post. If someone makes you uncomfortable, let us know. If someone is advertising services or writing posts that are clearly unrelated to our mission, feel free to write. There are several people in our community who are very good about alerting us to anything questionable.

We appreciate your feedback, and your membership in this community.

Best regards,
LD OnLine