What is An Adult with LD to Do?

HOW ARE YOU DOING LOVE , I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY LD I AM 21 YEARS OLD I HAVE TRAVELED AROUND THE WORLD TO HELP ME ESCAPE MY PROBLEM. I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION YOU ARE IN, MY LD ALLWAYS CREEPS UP WHEN A JOB IS PUT IN FRONT OF ME. I HAVE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS AS WELL DUE TO MY LD; PANIC ATTACKS, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION. I HAVE WENT TO 3 UNIVERSITIES TO TRY TO GET A DEGREE AND I AM STILL 2 YEARS SHORT. I HAVE MADE GOOD MATES BUT THEY COME AND GO THAT IS LIFE. HAVE YOU WENT TO UNI? HOPE THIS EMAIL HELPS THERE ARE LOTS OF PEOPLE LIKE US IN THE WORLD?

Hey There,

Thank you so much for the email.You are the only person I’ve ever met with LD online or in person.I too have emotional problems as well.It nice to know you’ve been working so hard to get your degree.I have such a hard time with my LD & emotional problems that I can’t work or get any kind of schooling
or training.I don’t know what to do or how long I can live with this.

Jenny

Jenny,

Hang on!

Life is tough but we are tougher.

Please read some of the older threads here. We LD’ers end up okay. Read some of the older threads. On one of them two LD’ers with “complamenting LDs” (one had trouble with math/numbers one with reading/writting) discussed how they met up, fell in love, and married. You are valuable and will find your place in the world yet. Give it time, we bloom late. I’m in my 40s and have a pretty good life…there were ealier times I could not have said that.

If you felt confortable giving us more details about the types of LD you face, some here might be able to give more specific advise.

Take care of yourself, we care for you!

Barb

Barb,

Some of my problems are that my reading and math are at the 5th grade level.
I also have problems finding the right words to express myself,as well as panic
attacks,depression and anxiety.My family has always known this but did very
little to nothing to help me but push me.I’m nothing!I can’t get or keep a job or
have any friends.Everyone tells me to just do it but I’ve tried and I can’t.

Jenny

Oh, sweetheart! You are not nothing! You write very intellligent post here and seem to be a very good caring person.

Those of us here KNOW how hard you try because we have faced that too. You have to work twice as hard for half the return! I’m so sorry your family can not see that.

Lets take this one step at a time.

First off, do you have medical insurance? I know how difficult it can be to even get out of bed in the morning when you are dealing with panic and depression. Are you currently on any medication?

We care,
Barb

Barb,

I don’t have any insurance but my dad tried to get me on his company’s insurance plan untill I get a job but he couldn’t.I’m not any medication but I think I need to me because my depresssion is getting worse.

It seems like getting the depression under control would be an important step. Especially if it is getting worst.

The lack of insurance does make it trickier. There is help out there but how to access it? Do you have a doctor you can go to?

Some years ago I was in a bad spot. I connected with a “Befriender.” She was trained to listen and help me thru the maze of options. Befrienders can be accessed at www.befrienders.org/talk.htm They are not doctors or psychiartist but have been trained to help you get to the specialist you need. You might consider this. Your befriender should also know how to set you up with people who can help you look for work.

Would you like to try this?

Barb

Good post, ball.

One person who I admire very much makes his living as a “greeter.” You know, like the person at Wal-mart that says hi to you as you walk in.

This guy is really smart and I’m sure many people wonder what is going on but he enjoys his job, is good at it, and he gets the chance to brighten peoples day.

Play to your strenght!

Barb

Hi Jenny

Hang in there girl!

I had the same problem you did with finding employment. I’ve tried everything. In my early twenties I tried working on a Liberal Arts degree. I was experiencing frustrations in my everyday life so I found getting the actual degree difficult. I also have a hearing problem and one semester at my college I couldn’t hear any of my professors. I spoke to them about speaking louder in class so I could hear them but they didn’t make it a priority to speak any louder than they already were. I should have complained but I felt too intimidated and powerless so I walked from that school. I withdrew. I was living with family and my mom(I don’t blame her) thought that I was too dependent on her. I had a small amount of money in savings(that my father had left for me before he died) and decided to move across the country with my boyfriend. We had no money and I couldn’t get a job for the life of me. I also experience panic when on interviews. I had no experience so I never got hired. I’ve never been able to figure out whether it was my lack of experience or the fact that I live in NYC and it is so extremely difficult to make it here. In any case I decided to move back to NYC & move back in with family.

I then decided that maybe school wasn’t the thing for me, not in the conventional sense so I decided to enroll in a CNA course. I thought that it would get me on the right track and I could become independent and make money. My learning disability didn’t get in my way this time but my hearing problem did. I actually did pretty well in the class but we had to do things like demonstrate how to take blood pressure and use a stethescope and when your hearing’s do bad that you can’t hear the drop in blood pressure well, then, you have to reevaluate what you’re doing.

I spent a year living with my boyfriends family taking care of his retarded uncle. I realised that they were taking advantage of me so I moved back in with my aunt.

I also decided to work on getting the rest of my Liberal Arts degree as well as a Day Care certificate. There have been times when I’ve totally felt like giving up especially this week when I got a C- on a psychology exam and I knew the information but I couldn’t remember it because I have bad recall, nevermind that study is my middle name.

I feel for you hon! Take care of yourself!

Unfortunately, we (adults with LD) all have a lot of struggles and things we have to deal with in every day life. Sometimes it feels like life is more than we can handle, and when problems are facing us we don’t know where to turn. I thank God that I have a very supportive “family” within my church. I find comfort and direction with my Christian friends and through God’s word. Although I enjoy taking walks or exercise to relieve my tension, I always have to face the problems when they occur. Just to share a couple of verses from the Bible that comfort me through these difficult times, and I pray they will comfort you. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13) Although I know Christ allows these difficulties to enter my life, He gives me the peace I need through these difficult times. I pray that you allow him to take control of your life so He will comfort and help you in your time of needs, like He does for me.

God Bless
Steven

Person who called himslef God—You are sick.

Jenny,

Don’t listen to this person. He is not God. We care about you. Write back to us.

Barb

Jenny,

Hang in there! I have many friends who have learning disabilities. My husband is also dyslexic and so is my son. My husband hid it from me for years. I only found out when my son was diagnosed. It didn’t matter to me one little bit. He is a wonderful man. It is only the tinyest part of who he is. Don’t let it become who you are. We are all so many things. LD is just one facet of your entire being.

The key is to find something you are passionate about and pursue it. Is there anything you like, photography, music, helping children, science?
Many LDers are late bloomers but have their self esteem wittled down by school so they don’t ever realize that they can achieve things.

You could start by volunteering. This lets you pursue something without the pressures of it being an actual job. You may find something that you can pursue as a career by doing this. Habitat for humanity or a local hospital always need help.

Hi Linda,

I definitely agree with you that we are more than just our LD. But the problem at least in my situation regarding being unemployed is that due to having NLD and Dyslexia, so many areas are affected that it makes it hard to find a job that takes advantage of both my skills and interests. I did try the volunteer route by the way but that wasn’t helpful at all.

Unfortunately, the services for adults with LD are non existent, especially if you live in the US. I will keep trying other things but frankly, I am extremely discouraged. It is pretty disheartening to read an article on LDonline about the adult situation in the 1980’s and feel like things haven’t changed too much.

I don’t know if this is Jenny’s situation but in my case, people act like I should just take any old job. Well even those “any old jobs” are hard for me to do because of my visual spatial difficulties. So I can relate to her situation where your situation is treated like other people’s. It shouldn’t be because LD is a factor that has to be accounted for even though I realize the label does not define us.

PT

Boy does this thread bring back a lot of bad memories. Being young and LD sucks big time. The good news is that it can only get better. If you really don’t see any way out of the mire you’re in, don’t hesitate to check yourself in somewhere on an emergency basis. If you get into the mental health system you can get a paper trail going that can help you get sevices. SSI can buy you time to “find yourself.” A word of caution… finding a decent therapist can take longer than finding yourself. I know that there is a time and place for wallowing in self pity, a necesary period of mourning. Eventually though, cognitive psychology, thinking about what will make today worthwhile, was the way out for me. I can relate to the post that mentioned travelling to escape from issues. I did a lot of that. I don’t even know how many times I dropped out of school before finally earning a degree. I started dropping out when I was 15 and didn’t get my degree until I was 32. 17 years of struggling. Getting the degree was important to me because I had something to prove. In all honesty, the degree probably doesn’t change my earning potential much. I’m good with children, I’m a great mom, I was lucky enough to marry someone who can support a family. That was probably the most important reward from my getting an education… I know my husband wanted an educated wife. My organizational skills still suck, my social skills are at best a temporary front that “normal” people see through quickly. Fortunately, I have plenty of wonderful friends that are not “normal” and love me the way I am. I love my life now and am grateful everyday for all of the wonderful things I get to experience. I know from experience how long and hard the path can be. If I was able to go back and talk to my 20 something year old self I would say… you’ll never regret anything you do, only the things you don’t do… don’t be shy about asking for help… find others you can help… remember the things you have to be grateful for as often as possible… have fun… life is too short to waste time not having fun. And last but not least… it will get better. I hope my words are of some help, if not today then perhaps tomorrow. Good luck to you.

Dear Jenny,

I know that right now, when you are feeling so depressed, it seems absolutely logical to you that all the terrible things you think about yourself are true. Trust me, that is the depression talking. It is NOT the truth. I’ll say it again: IT IS NOT THE TRUTH! When a person becomes depressed, the chemistry of his brain goes awry and his view of the world, and of himself, becomes skewed. I once read about a study in which depressed people were asked to explain common sayings like ” a stitch in time saves nine,” and they scored much worse than non-depressed people. That was because their brain chemistry was messed up and it affected their ability to think clearly. Medication can help you with your depression, as you know, but you need to see a counselor too. If you can, try to see someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. A good book you can read, that will also help is “The Feeling Good Handbook” by David Burns.

Jenny, my husband struggled with depression, and, when he was ill, he felt as you do now. He has an LD, as does my son, but the LD is not what is important about either of them. They are both wonderful, unique individuals, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. With counseling and medication my husband is now strong and well, just as you will be when you get the help you need. I’m praying for you.

Andrea

When you are feeling down take one step up a notch and think of something good that has gone rite in your life. Don’t allow yourself to get to the bottom of the worst you can feel . Always take one step up , do what you have to do, remember the good times in your life .Anything simple that went right. It is always easy to see and feel everything in life that goe’s wroung. You need to also reganize all the goe’s right in life. As little as it may seem. Prove to yourself that you can do this , that you can talk one step up at a time. Look for help in getting a job. Look untill you find help .Pray for God to guide you. Take what job you can get for now ,and at the same time keep looking Y ou will feel better if you have some money. remember to take one step up, you can do it. Find one thing everyday to be thankfull for. The sun, the earth , water, food. anyhting.Be thankfull for you, you are a gift foe someone and some reason. You might not have found that someone or reason yet but it is their give life a chance for it to find you.

Jenny, I am a 40 year old adult with LDs (slightly different than yours). I felt hopeless and was just a plain screwup until about 8 years ago. I returned to college and just started taking general interest classes. Ironically, I found that the harder classes that required more discipline were actually easier for me. I needed that structure. I am graduating this May with a degree in Applied Mathematics, even though I started out at about an eighth grade math level. It took me twice as long as an 18 year old but I did it, by God, and I can’t describe the wonders that it has done for my self-esteem. I started out with really small goals, like ” I will complete two classes a semester, I will go to every class, and I will do all the homework that I am able to do.” I had to start in remedial math.

A Liberal Arts degree is so vague that it makes hard to discover what your talents are. Many community colleges have A. S. degrees that allow you to be more focused, programs like physical therapy, photography, film, computer technology, dental assisting. Don’t be afraid to try something like massage therapy or cosmetolgy. Working with your hands is good, honest work. Don’t shy away from technical fields just because you think you don’t have the math or reading skills. You might and probably do. You just have to find a way to work with what you’ve got. I have to copy my notes 3 times before it starts to sink in, and I have to do every single stitch of homework assigned. I can get test accomodations if I need them.

My point is, keep trying things until you find something that makes you want to suceed. The desire makes it easier. Don’t beat yourself up for failures because everyone fails sometimes. Sometimes we LDers feel like we have more than our fair share of failure. In the long run, you are a better, stronger person for it. A person who triumphs without adversity is just lucky, even though they will insist luck has nothing to do with it.

You sound like such a nice person. I feel for you so. I was in your shoes 15 years ago and I am telling you that you can suceed with patience, hard work, and determination, mostly patience. Good luck to you.

Hello Karen

I truly feel for you at this point but remember you can beat them at their own game the only problem is you don’t seem to know the rules. Do you have a local L.D. office in your area ? If not find the closes one and see if they have an Adult Support group it works wonders. It a get place to be with others who understand and may give you help in discoverying the rules of the game. Remember those of us with L.D. are average to above average intellect so it just like a puzzel that you need to figure out. In jioning a support group such as this you may not only find new friends who understand but you may feel better about your self and begin to find your passion in life. It has been my experiance that finding your passion in life helps along way with the struggles that we all seem to face. I not going to tell you to cheer up or anty othat crap but I will tell you that you are not alone. I think many of us struggle every day with fiting into that so called normal box. So for your well being see if you can find a local L.D. office and see about their adult support if they have none then start one, who knows you may find your passion in helping other like yourself.

BEST OF LUCK
I will be there with a kind word for ya if you need it
Bonnie

Barb you might want to re read the message from Steven, he is not saying he God but he is giving Karen passages out of his Bible that give him peace in troubled times, it although may not be your way, it is his and I”m sure it was ment with the best of intentions.
Come on Barb this should be a place that we should be all able to express our view in order to help each other, I think that if it helps, hey why not I’m not saying that God is the only way but hey (we of all people should understand and know ) different ways some time work for others it just a matter of processing Eh.
I know you ment well but it might have been a L.D. moment and you may just have possible miss read the original message I know I had to read it twice. Come on most of us with L.D may experiance some form of communication problems (I know for me it is run on, covaluted sentences,which confuse the reader). I really think he ment well
Bonnie

Bonnie,

I agree 100% with you.

There was a post which was deleted by the board host. The person who wrote it used the user name God. Of course this person didn’t sign with his (or her) real name or leave a email address. If you want more detail on the deleted post just e-mail me.

Steven,
I’m sorry. It does look like I’m talking to or about you but nothing could be further from the truth. Your post is uplifting and life affirming.

Thanks all,
Barb

First off let me apologize to Karen ,Jenny and Barb, First off I didn’t scroll up far enough and got Karen and Jenny mixed up, and Barb I did’t know that the posting was deleted.That said now it time to talk with GOD.
Well this obviously is a person with an L.D. who has been affected by hisor her ability to have proper judgement in their use of social skills. Lest it be for me to judge them because that would bring me to their level , but my heart does go out to that person. The fact that they have such low self esteem that they would ask someone else to do what they are feeling.My suggestion to that person would be to seek some help in the way they deal with people. I would bet a “Wooden Nickel “that there may be some heavy duity underlying issuees and unfortunately took them out on the wrong person, who probably doesn’t deserve it. Be strong Jenny and realize that only a person who is very afraid would project such a thing . I mean heck if you thought you had problems!!!!
Use this as a stepping stone to aid you in your way (not that it’s right but hey you can’t be that low as you are asking fopr help),so when ever you feel down take statements like that and turn them around to show them that you are stronger than that and you will be able to gear that anger this person has and use it as your own to help others so it will not happen again to anyone else.
As this person refers to them selves as GOD,just remember that a dyslexia point of view unfiltered this to me means DOG,just a little L.D. humour, maybe tthey made a spelling mistake. So if your out there GOD maybe you should understand that it’s okay to want to kill yourselfbut to to ask others to do the same is not approiate.You do not even have the right to suggest such a thing. So maybe you had an L.D. moment and had a spelling mistake. Or maybe you are someone who is just so angry with all that is around you that it really peeves you off to see others trying to get a head. Either way way if you are out there and would like to take your anger out some one I am here to take it out on. I am able to deal with that kind of anger because some like myself I have been there and have become strong and proud to have to be one who has an L.D. and I am making it not just for myself but for others who may not have my skill and passion for those who struggle. So as I said if your out there I know all YOUR COMMENTS MEAN THAT YOU ARE HURTING TOO so hey it’s okay, if you want support I’m here for you if you want.
Look for Brighter Days
Bonnie

To any one who read this it was just before I headed off to work and didn’t have time to think before I sent it. As I was prove reading what I sent I could see all the spelling and typing errors so please forgive me I will be more careful next time
Bonnie
Just a thought for the those at the administration of this page maybe you should have a place so we can edit ater it posted I mean after all we all can make mistakes
PEACE OUT
gotta go make a “WOODEN NICKEL’ ” to you guys in the States that about 2.5cents but hey it a living

Thank you for clearing that up for me Bonnie.

Jenny, I hope this helps you. I had some services in the past from the Department of Vocational Rehab., that is a state service. You probably can find it in the blue page section of the phone book. They can provide some training to get a job. If I find any other information, I’ll write you.

I want you to know, you’re not the only one that goes through these struggles. Unfortunately, depression is sets in for a lot of people with LD and it has for myself too. The suggestions above are ways I am able to lift myself up and hopefully it will help you.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.

God Bless
Steven

Be proud of yourself, spelling errors are all about who we are. I except my errors and I feel that if others want to sit and condem me for errors than good for them if they have nothing better to do. Except me for who and what I am not what others wnat or think I should be.

Look into the Sharper Minds self guided program in Oregon.

Hi Jenny:

I give you such courage and strength to write what you feel. Having ld is complicated because ld affects so much of our lives on so many different levels. Feeling depressed, and sometimes not knowing where to turn and who to turn too makes it even more confusing. Do you have any Learning disability centres in your city, I know that in Toronto we have what is called the Learning disability association of Ontario and they have Chapters. Sometimes people who run employment centre’s do provide services for people with ld. They are few and far between… If I can be of any help, please write me back at my address… I was diagnosed with ld when I was 30 and it has taken me a long time to accept certain things about my own ld, my strengths and weaknesses and find a job that best suits my needs. I still struggle, and sometimes would like to give away my ld. I know for me, seeing a therapist has really helped and someone who understands ld and all the feelings that go with it….

I admire you and everyone who is writing in, this is the first time I have gone live here….

Sheri

where do you live?