Looking for other SpEd Teachers with ADHD and LDs

Hi!

It is cool to hear about someone else who is like myself. I am finishing up working on my Master’s in Elementary Ed and eventually hope to be working primarily with special ed.

I am a piano-teacher who was formally diagnosed with ADHD 5 years ago, when I was 35. (it all started as I was in the process of having my son diagnosed with it — he didn’t have it after all, but his dad sure did!)

I am on 60 mg/day Ritalin, and I have also found that wearing black glasses (instead of the wire-framed ones) helps me to focus better, as everything has got a black frame ‘round it.

I was a serious behavior-problem while in school, and a permanent member of the Low Math and Low Reading groups! Now I want to help other kids overcome this stuff too.

Good luck to you, Katharine!
Jeffrey

Dear Katherine and Jeffrey,

What great inspirations you both are to all of us! I am not a special Ed. teacher, but have dabbled with the idea of going into the field. I too have an informal diagnosis of ADD from my family prac., and am taking Adderal XR for it. The improvement has been miraculous, but I do think I need my dosage increased. I am on 20mgs a day and by the end of the day, I am back to the scattered, grumpy Mom again.

I am very encouraged to hear your stories. I have been toying with the thought of going back to college for the third attempt to go into your field, but because I am 36 years old, with two young children, 8 and 5, both with LD’s and ADD, little financing for the venture, etc., I have hesitated. I had all the financial aid paperwork processed for this fall, but since we have only one car running currently and my son started his first full day kindergarten experience, we decided to postpone until at least January. My son, at just two weeks in, has already been having behavioral issues and misunderstandings with his teacher. He has not been diagnosed nor treated medically at this point. We are in the process tomorrow of requesting psychoeducational evaluation for him and trying to have him placed in another teacher’s classroom to give him a fresh start. He has been punished for issues that other children caused, but then only he was punished and wasn’t allowed the opportunity to explain what happened. My duaghter witnessed this event in the lunchroom, so I have to believe that there really was a problem. Since my son is only five, it is imparitive to my husband and myself, that we make sure he has positive learning experiences. This class is obviously no longer a save positive learning environment for him. He is fearful and doesn’t want to go to school now, where as his 4K experience was wonderful. Different teacher, different experience! I am not exactly convinced that before all is said and done this year, I might end up homeschooling him.

Still, I am often conflicted about what course is the right one for me to take. Whether staying home for at least a bit longer to be available for my children is the best thing, or if I should go ahead an endeavor to make that enormous commitment to college. Part of me wants it one way, the other part wants it the other, and I lack the self confidence to think I could do both. Still, it is very encouraging to here that other ADDer’s are out their reaching their goals. I was curious at what age did you decide to go into college and then Special Ed? Has your ADD caused you any set backs? Do you have kids and how do you juggle the responsibilities? Thanks for giving those of us who are lagging behind hope!!!
Sincerely,
Debra

Dear Debra,
I am so glad that you have joined the others in the posting of your experiences and those of your children. I get so excited at the discovery of others who are ‘just like me.’ I want to try to give you some insight and address your questions. The first thing I must tell you is that what worked for me may not work for you and the others. Each person must decide what is in their best interest and that of their family and particular circumstance. With that said I want to answer your questions then address the situation with your children.

What is the right thing for you to do? I can’t tell you. At the time I had children 8 and 5, I did not think I was smart enough to go to college. At least this is what they told me when I graduated from high school and I still believed. Deep down inside I knew I help some potential but the fear of failure kept it hidden. I started college when I was 34 and that was in 1988. With the exception of a couple of years off, I have been going ever since. I can’t figure out for the life of me how I make it through my undergraduate degree unmedicated but I did. My overall GPA was a 3.0. I remember how hard it was and how frustrated I became when I did not do as well as I thought I could. I remember breaking out in severe hives when finals came around. But I did it. After my B.A. I decided I wanted to become a teacher but 30 day shy of finishing my student teaching I was asked to leave the program. They had major concerns about my ability to become a teacher. This hurt cut both ways. On one hand they were right, on the other it crushed me. My ADHD is so severe that the behaviors prevented me from being successfully socially and academically. And they also got in the way of my ability to be able to read people, learn the hidden curriculum, and to fit into the educational environment.

I knew that I had learning disabilities forever but I never had the money to get the diagnosis. It took me two years after that to finally know that if I was ever to succeed in life that I must fix me. So I found the money, had not only the testing done for LD but I also had a neuropsychological workup done. This found the ADHD and many other issues. I have the best psychologist there is. I went through four years of counseling to help with the behavior modification. While doing this I was working with junior and high school students with severe behavior disorders. I was able to implement many of the behavior mods with my students along with teaching them why they use specific behaviors.

In 1999 I found a college that allowed me to finish my teaching credential. A wonderful administrator hired me the same day I finished. I see my disabilities as wonderful and powerful gifts. He did too. That was 4 years ago. I am still teaching junior high special ed students in a self contained classroom. I love it. They are true gifts to me. And I am entering my second year of my doctoral degree.

Ok so enough about me. The longer you are on meds and working with a councilor, the more self-confidence you should get. Meds along are not the answer. People with ADHD must learn why they resort to their specific behaviors and learn replacement behaviors. It takes time and practice. You have to be willing to take risks knowing there will be pain involved in this process. If you do this knowing that the pain is short lived and that it is part of the learning process you will be successful beyond your wildest dreams. No pain, no gain.

Ok, now about the school thing. If there is a will, there is a way. There were times that I went to school at night but I sat down and worked it out with my kids. They knew what I wanted to do. They knew the sacrifices the family would have to make for me to achieve this dream. My husband and them supported me. Oh and there were times that I road the bus an hour each direction because of the car issue, but it can be done. Many of your self-doubts are because you don’t want to feel the pain involved with failure. No one wants to fail but ADHD has caused us to have more than our fair share of failure and pain. If you are taking meds and going to counseling then the risks should be far less than before.

You ask if I have had setbacks? YES. But I have become so stubborn that I have retrained my behavior to look at the setback for the lesson I am supposed to learn. I evaluate it for the lesson only. I acknowledge the pain then move forward with what the lesson taught me. The pain is minimal and I get to practice my newfound skill.

How do I juggle responsibilities? It still takes practice and I have to remain focused. I take them one at a time. I make endless lists to remind me of things I have to do and check them off as they are done.

Ok now about your cherubs. Keep a line of communication open with your children’s teachers. Let them know that you want to support them and your children. If you need to volunteer in your child’s classroom. Set up a time to come in and observe your child to see what is happening. Look for triggers to your child’s behaviors so you know what may need to be worked on.

Peer relationships are so essential to humans. Everyone wants to be wanted and wants to belong. However, with those of us with ADHD it is a monumental task which most of the times ends up badly. I have this saying: Positive attention is better than negative attention. However, negative attention is better than no attention at all. My students have learned this well by the time they get to me. Their peers set them up and the impulsivity takes over. Kids with ADHD can become the prey of others. And unfortunately the ADHD brain not on meds and without behavior modification does not stop to think of the consequences before the act is done. This leaves us to deal with the outcome after the event. Not good.

This is not to excuse the behavior however, as I tell other teachers it is to understand why it happens and replacement behavior worked on. Your children are not too young to talk to them about why they did what they did. Sit them down and process through the event talking about the results of the behavior and what they could have done differently and to try that next time. However, empathy and compassion are the two elements needed from parents and teachers dealing with individuals with ADHD.

If I can provide you with a shred of hope that your dreams can be realized, then I have achieved my goal with this post. It takes work but it can be done. There is a ‘Keeper of the Dream” inside of you. It is what I call “The Other Side of Me.” Find it! Hold on to it. Take the risk and allow it to reveal itself. It has waited so long.

Regards,
Katherine Nell
Oh come and see what my students do

www.seanet.com/~kmcneil/JAG

Jeffrey,
I can’t tell you that it has been beyond my wildest dreams the email and posts I have received. For years I thought I was the only person to go through ADHD hell. But there are others. There are others who had the same dream. To teach. To help those who are like us but have not found a teacher who can provide structure, understanding, empathy, and caring along with the tools needed for them to become sucessful.

Some people swear I am crazy to do what I do; to teach junior high students with severe behavior disorders. Well I don’t think they are disordered at all. They are just plain angry and disillusioned. I don’t blame them at all. When I talk about my students to other educators and members of the public I get a range of replies. Some say they don’t belong in school. My answer to that is where do they belong? At home or running the streets during the day in your neighborhood? I have had some say that all these kids need is a good ass kicking to get them back in line. I have even had volunteers. I tell them that most of my students have been physically, sexually, and verbally abuse already so just heap on somemore will solve the problem? They usually shut up.

Yes, I have been kicked, bite, hit, threatened yadda yadda yadda. But it is nothing compared to what these kids have endured. Am I a push over? NO! And my students know it. I am tough. They get tough love. I give them three guarantees when they enter my program. Everyday they walk through my classroom door they will be loved and they will hear this. Everyday they walk through my classroom door they will be cared for and they will hear this. Everyday they walk through my classroom door is a fresh day and a do-over. Nothing is held against them.

I respect my students and my students respect me. I am honored to teach them and believe each one that is sent to my program is sent there to teach me a unique lesson. I also tell them they will teach me more than I will ever teach them. By the time they leave the program they come to understand what this means.

Like I have told others, feel free to contact me anytime. Dream. See the disability as a wonderful gift…now that it is harnessed. And feel free to come to my programs website to see how academic and behavioral excellence is achieved by some wonderful young men and women.

Katherine Nell

www.seanet.com/~kmcneil/JAG

Dear Katherine;

Cool web-site. I have a piano-student who is 7 years old and has PDD, a sort of Autism. I really like the kid and want to help him. D’ye have any suggestions as to how I can better teach this kind of child? What I don’t know about teaching PDD students fills volumes.

Jeffrey

I have a learning disability. I willbe entering my 26th year as a Speciall education teacher of LD Children.. I will be returning after a year on sabbatical and being transfered from a teaching to a administrators mind set. I am now both city and state certified in NYC and NYS to be a special education administrator. But because the largest system in the USA refused to comply with the ADA in terms opportunity for upward mobility opportunity in the same that they do for every single other minority group today I hand delivered my Federal EEOC Complaint to be loged in and start that poricess of filing a complaint.

Hi Carol,
26 years in Special Ed! Wow, that is fantastic. People keep warning me of burnout but I just tell them I am too stuborn to burn out. When I was hired by my district 4 years ago I was just a newby. But it is funny to see that I am one of the elder teachers now. Many have quit or just burned out. It is sad. It alarms me greatly to see that your skills as an administrator are not being utilized by the school districts. Those of us who have disabilities have many insights that those without disabilities do not. It just seems like a logical progression that we go from the classroom into administration. I hope that you continue your fight because the students need us to continue advocating for their needs.

Currently, I am in my second year in my Education Leadership doctoral program. I was going to do my administrator creditential at the same time for principal. Everyone said I should do that one because it would give me more flexability than doing Program Director. So I started it and by last summer it dawned on me that everyone wanted me to be a principal but ME! You could not pay me to be a principal. A noble position but not for me. I want to continue in Special Ed. So I changed focus to the program director and I am happy now.

I love my classroom and my kids and can’t imagine doing anything else. But I know that someday I will move on. I hope that you are able to attain your goal in administration. Continue your fight!
Katherine

I am not interested in being a princiapl either. I am firstly interested in being a speial educaiton program revire specialist/ monitor, then a special edcuction sight supervsor and latly something related to pupil personnel support service administrator. In NYC there are 150 eleligbility lists that you can get your naem on. But first you must show that you have state duo state educaitonal and administiron ceritificte or you have completed an accreted professioanl diploma program in educational administraion and supervsion. So is tis on of those 3 areas that I want to go into. I have choose what is realustice for me. I am not a prejudice person and I feel that all protected groups need to be treated fairly. But in NYC within the NYC Board of education endless doors are ooen to you if you are AFro American adn of if you speak another language besides Englisg. But if you have a disability and especailly if you are white in terms of getting that far and trying to get a job and or have the same doors open to you it is as you should not be existing on this planet at all.

Carol,
Keep up your fight. People who will go to the mat for all Special Ed students are the ones we need to keep. There are many in the field who really don’t want to be there. Keep fighting and don’t give up!
Katherine

I find this whole thread very inspiring. I have a 14 year old son dx’d with ADD, inattentive type, CAPD, and dyslexia, as you can imagine school has been a real struggle for him. 6th grade was his worst year. That teacher proclaimed “your son is lazy, unmotiviated, a time bomb waiting to explode.” “You need to get him medicated and in some serious counseling.” Let me tell you that did not do a lot for his already poor self esteem. She told us as parents that we needed to get educated on how best to help our son. She felt there was no way he could have an LD because “he can write legibally.” We did take and get him re-evaluated to try some other meds. 1st ones did not work so he was off them a few years. We tried yet more meds and all they did was put him to sleep. We changed school districts in 2000 and he started receiving more intense services as his skills improved his ADD sx’s improved greatly. He is considering going into special education when he graduates school. He says he does not want other students to have to go through what he did. The thing holding back though is—“how will I get into college with such a poor school record?” I plan on sharing your stories with him and letting him know that with a little hard work it can be done. Thanks for sharing your stories.

Jeff, I am not a teacher but do have a son with PDD. I have tried many different things to get through to him and teach him. If you would like you can e-mail me with your questions at [email protected]. He is currently 10 years old in a self contained classroom. He is on a solid 2nd grade reading level, 4th grade math level, 2nd grade writing, on level with computer skills and of course has other strenths and weaknesses just like any other student.

Wow! Other SPED teachers with ADHD!! And I thought I was from another planet?
I, too used to play school as a very young kid. I also had a mean teacher in first grade who ridiculed me in front of the class. I hated school, but was too dumb to defend myself or tell anyone of the emotional abuse. I was kept back that year and was so stupid, I did not understand the taunts of the other kids when they said, “You stayed back!” I thought I was retarded until I got into a four year college on first try. They don’t let retarded kids in college, do they?
My underachievement and social skills did not improve. I finally taught myself how to write a paper when I was a junior, then it was uphill. I graduated in 5 years.
It took 13 years, but I did get a Master’s in SPED, but my teaching stints usually lasted the school year.
I was finally DX correctly after my marriage of 16 years to another unDX ADHDer. Also, my oldest son was DX with Asperger’s Syndrome at age 16.
Last year I was DX with NLD. My life has been a nightmare for various reasons. I was “not rehired” from my last teaching job due to factors related to ADHD and NLD. Now I’m going for interviews and am terrified that I’ll fail again, despite he support I’ve been getting. But there are no supports for adults with NLD here in NH, so I am on disability until someone gives me a chance.

Gloria,
Isn’t it amazing to find others like us!!! I too always thought I was the only one going through this life experience. But on a lark I decided to post the call for other Special Ed teachers with ADHD and learning disabilities. I spent months online looking for research, stories, etc. looking and looking for others like me. There is some information about teachers with disabilities but the disabilities are physical or deaf/blind. There are some very successful teachers out there in these categories that are in the classroom. However, there is nothing about teachers who like me fought to get into the classroom despite the disabilities of ADHD and 4 specific learning disabilities.

When I read through your email I was amazed at how similar your experiences have been to mine. I think the thing that struck me was the fact that you were not rehired due in part to your disabilities. The first question that I had was did your administration know about your disabilities? The second thing was, what parts of your job were impacted by your disabilities? Did you have a mentor? And why did your administration not try to work with you to keep you?

Special Ed teachers are hard to come by. Special Ed teachers who themselves have the same disabilities that their students have, and are up front about them have a powerful connection to their student population. I have never hid my disabilities. When I first interviewed for my job I was upfront about my disabilities. I was also upfront about the connection to my students they would provide. I had a vision of the program I wanted to establish. And I was confident that I could do it. I had no misgivings about the difficulties that students with behavior disorders display. I was ready for them. But most of all I was committed to them. I would not quit as many others might or would.

This open conversation allowed my administration to see the fire in my heart and my determination. They asked me what type of support I would need from them to be successful. I told them to please send me an email or write down whatever they wanted me to know and not ask me something in passing in the hallway because I would forget it by the time I got to my classroom. If I did something they did not understand to please just sit down and ask me about the situation instead of thinking that I had done something on the fly. My brain processes information in a totally different manner than the normal brain.

Well all this was four years ago. Now this is not to say that all this time has been perfect. But, I love my job and the people I work with. They have come to understand the gifts that I have (ADHD and LD’s are gifts!). At first they were uncomfortable when I talked very honestly and openly about them. Now, they respect me and understand that it is my connection to my students and my job.

Now for the only advise that I can give you. We are who we are because of our disabilities. We feel things differently. We learn differently. We process information differently. We see things differently. The longer we deny these things the longer we deny who we are. We also deny our profound gifts. I maintain that the most powerful part of learning to live with our gifts is accepting them and not to be afraid to let others know about them. Yes, this is scary because it involves taking risks. It opens us up to ridicule. But, if we accept this as part of our growth process, we take control of our life and our gift.

Gloria, there are many students out there who need you and your gift. However, the fear of failure impacts them just as it has us. Fear is what keeps us from being successful. The pain that failure paralyzes us. However, let me share with you the greatest lesson I have learned.

Our journey in life is full of lessons. If we don’t learn the lesson it is repeated over and over. If we can’t get beyond the pain of failure we never progress. I now expect pain. It is a part of life. But, the pain is just a bee sting now in comparison. I purposefully look for the lesson. When something happens that I feel is yucky, I ask myself what is it that I am supposed to learn here. Eventually, it dawns on me what the lesson is. I have found the pain goes away as soon as I accept the lesson and the future work I must do to practice the lesson.

I am no longer paralyzed by fear. I look for the lessons I am to learn each day. I know that most of them will come from my students. I tell each one when they come in the program that they will teach me more then I will ever teach them.

Sorry about the length of this reply. I hope it provides you some encouragement to keep looking for an administration that sees the gifts you possess.

Katherine

I am a special education teacher working at the ALternative HS in Juneau, AK. We have all kinds of students at our school. Basically the common thread is that “hey didn’t make it” in the system.

I have never been formally diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, but I am sure that I am, based on my knowledge. My 11 year old daughter is ADHD and I see/have seen similar traits in my 7 year old son for a few years, jut not as severe.

Hi Amy,
I am glad that you added to this post. I am just so amazed at how many of us are out here in special ed. As a special teachers who works with students with severe behavior issues I find that many students have parents who show the same signs. The unfortunate thing is that many parents have ADHD just as severe as mine but they are unmeducated like their kids. And if parents have severe ADHD and are unmedicated how can they help their kids? Thanks so much for posting your reply.
Katherine

Hi, I am a teacher with ADHD. I do not teach in a self-contained classroom, but I teach middle school in a full inclusion setting. I therefore teach over 20 students with LDs. I find that i can easily identify with the children with LDs much more than other teachers can. since I know what they are going through, we connect. In the past, I have told the students that I have ADD and other LDs, but I have never made it known to the administration. We do have a SPED teacher on our team, and I did tell her, but told her to keep it confidential. She sees me as a great resource because I know tons of strategies for learning and studying. By the way, this is a second career for me. I went back to college at the age of 45 to get my masters in education. I got financial aid, and did a weekend program. We only went to class one weekend a month. We went Friday night, all day Sat. and Sun. I found it easier that way since for that whole weekend all I did was school. The rest of the family was on their own.

I’m glad to meet and chat with other teachers with ADD!

Hi Jane,
Isn’t this thread amazing? I would have never thought there was one soul in this whole world who was like me. And as you see there are many. What is even more amazing is how many of us have been drawn to work with ‘special’ students. There have been many people that have told me that I must be ‘nuts’ to work with students with severe behavior disorders. I just shake my head and smile. They will never understand. I, like you finished my M.Ed. at 45. I am getting ready to start the Fall quarter of my 2nd year in my doctoral program. I don’t even stop and think about how far I have come because it might scare me. I just think of it as one quarter at a time. Feel free to keep in tough. Good luck.
Katherine

Katherine, I have tons of questions. Would you mind being a resource for me? Do you know of any resources (online would be good) where I could get definitions of the various learning disabilities? for instance, I have many students with “language based disabilities.” what is that? Where can I read about it? I also have a student whose IEP says that he must use SQ3R as one of his study strategies. What is that????? Thanks, Jane

Hi Jane,
Please feel free to use me as a resource anytime. If I don’t know what you need to know I will wave my magic wand and try to direct you in the correct direction. Ok I found a couple of sites that will get you the information you need. First is the language based disability. I have one. I have a dificult time when under severe stress and pressure to turn my thoughts into words. It just takes me a little to formulate my thoughts. But this can be a problem at times. Perceptions are that you are delaying, not paying attention, or you don’t have anything to say. This goes for students also. So here is the URL for that disability
http://www.asha.org/speech/disabilities/Language-Based-Learning-Disabilities.cfm

http://www.fln.vcu.edu/ld/ld.html

You will have to cut and paste them into the address line for them to work.

Ok for your last question what is SQ3R. It is just a learning stratagy for students and here is a website on that

http://www.u.arizona.edu/ic/wrightr/other/sq3r.html

Ok for a suggestion - when you need to find something fast I have found that the search engine that returns the best selection

www.google.com

It corrects for spelling by making a suggestion with the correct spelling. A big plus for me. It also returns more sites in comparison to the other search engines.

I hope this helps you out. Please feel free to email me if you need more help. Oh and please stop by my programs website and see what my kids do.

www.seanet.com/~kmcneil/JAG

Bye Katherine

WOW…this is amazing. I just graduated from Teacher’s College. This is my first year teaching, and I would love to get into special Ed, but I think it would be wise to get some experience as a classroom teacher first. I have an LD and ADD. I have never really kept it a secret until last year (Teacher’s College). I found it crazy that so many of my peers were completely oblivious about what LD and AD/HD was. I felt like they would look at me differently if I told them. Basically….all I wanted to state was that I believe that teachers who have first hand knowledge of learning struggles are generally better teachers for it. If it wasn’t for the help of many talented educators I would never be where I am today.

Hi Jill,
I have to agree with you. WOW this is amazing. There are others like us!!! My undergrad college experience was similar to yours. People really do not have a grounded understanding of LDs or ADHD for the most part. I have had people tell me that ADHD does not exist or it is an excuse. I just shake my head because in the past I used to try to explain it. I found it was just a waste of time because most had made up their minds based on misinformation. Oh well. I am glad that you had talented educators because many students do not. I urge you to look at special ed as a step in your future. We continue to need people with the heart and determination to challenge these students to excellence. Oh, and be proud of your gift! Never be ashamed of who you are. Our disabilities are gifts and never be ashamed of them. You are correct when you say that some may look at you differently. Well they would anyway. Stand up for you at all times. I no longer care what people think when I disclose my disabilities. If it makes them uncomfortable - TOUGH. If it puts a block in the way of getting to know me, it is there issue not mine. It is there loss. They won’t ever get to know the person with a wicked sense of humor, the individual with the biggest heart in the world, and the most determined fighter for all special ed students. Well good luck
Katherine

I have already posted something about myself on here but I just wanted to say Thank You for your great encouraging writing! I am a student who has been labeled ADHD and LD from the 2nd grade. I am a junior in college and will be student teaching Special Educaiton in the Fall of 2003. I also would like to teach Junior High, although I am going to wait until I don’t look like my students before I attempt it! haa haa! Thank you for your story!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is invaluable to those of us who are having the same experiences and failures and crushing blows to know that other people who are succeeding have had them too.

You can’t image how uplifting your letter has been. Wow.
Thank you
Thank you.

Ann

I’m a little late finding this thread…… too difficult to tell my story again….. but “Years of Tears” was written by me on one of these threads.
Georgia