My husband and I will have been married two years on Easter Sunday; we dated a year before our wedding and we knew each other 11 years before that. We are expecting our second child together in July, and we each have our own children, as well-he has three and I have one. We have been separated since late January, and though I know I still love him and I’m pretty sure he still loves me, he just won’t “grow up.” He has lied, snuck around, done drugs, quit jobs, not provided for us, blah, blah, blah. He has chosen his friends over his family, and I just couldn’t take feeling like I mattered so little to the man I married, so we separated. He always says he knows he’s wrong and “doesn’t know” why he keeps making the same mistakes. His son was diagnosed with AD/HD last year, and I have researched both that and COBPD, because I have strong suspicions that he may suffer from both. In any case, I started delving into adult ADD because I remember a mutual friend suggesting it several months ago, and imagine my surprise when I found that everything I read sounds like it was written about my husband! I emailed several links to him yesterday, and he responded well, asking me to look into it some more. I just wondered if anyone experiencing a similar situation would want to email me or my husband about it. My email is [email protected] and his is [email protected]. My name is Angel and his is Brian. If there are things we can do to teach him life skills he needs to function better with his disability, and things I can do to enable him to be successful, I dare to think our marriage, and family, may be salvagable!
Re: My marriage is a disaster....
Been there….done that…in process of divorce because after 6 years (3 and half of them married) I gave up because I couldn’t give anymore. Even though I am someone who gave up, if you are interested please feel free to email me. I am a teacher and also a parent of an ADHD child-I tried everything I knew to help us but it’s a two way street.
Re: My marriage is a disaster....
Hi, I have soooo much to tell ya…. let me start with this: My husband and I were having difficulties in our marriage and he also had he secrets of infidelity. Well, I was frustrated and demanded he move out, but to my amazement he wanted to work on our marriage. We have been seeking marriage counsling and we were both dianosed with ADHD. We both have been on Strattera for the past 3wks and he has 1wk ahead of me… We are getting along much better and we have children whom were starting to tell us to stop sceaming at each other. While on Strattera we still get counsling…. if any question feel free to write back. It does get better I promise you….
Re: My marriage is a disaster....
Blimey in some ways i’m glad i’m not alone! My husband shows strong signs of ADHD and is seeking help. I feel completely lost. Torn between doing the right thing by helping and supporting him and running away. We’ve been married two years, together 5 and ive always known there has been something odd and now we seem to have put our fingers on it, i am having more trouble dealing with the whole prospect than he is. Anyway it helps to know other spouses are out there - good luck to us all!
Re: My marriage is a disaster....
angel, i do not know either one of you and i am going only on the info in your post. it sounds like you 2 needs to be friends for the children sakes and your own and leave it at that. it is hard when you love someone i have been there. but having a.d.h.d. does not make you lie decieve, cheet, or whatever. it makes you a scatter brain at times and hard to focus and remember. it isnt something that causes bad character. you either have a bad seed in your heart or you dont. the things he has done is not something that will change with medicine. i dont know what your beliefes are… and i dont even go to church but i do believe there is God… and i know the bible says a man who doesnt provide for his family is the worst kind of man. it is so scarey to start over. i know… ive been exactly where you are and i also have a.d.h.d. as well as he did. and i finally broke free and moved on and now i have the most wonderful man ever and he adopted my daughter and we had twins after that. (one didnt survive the birth) but you either have a good heart or you dont. medications dont change that! again, i dont know the whole situation and i am only going on your post. but it sounds like unless he does a 180 in his heart of hearts you will either have a miserable life or a life without him. maybe a marriage councelor would help. they are alot of money though. if you go to a church you can get it free usually. depending on the church. but if you wouldnt mind i would love an update of how you are. shannon
Re: My marriage is a disaster....
do you mind me asking what kind of troubles and why you feel like giving up? am i too nosey? im just so curious. email= [email protected]
I couldve written your post myself……you find yourself thinking if we can just get through this or that….the next job will be great….he wont do that again…and before you know it years and years go by. I am suggesting the ADD thing to my husband and hoping he will investigate.
Julie