Author: little lulu Date: 06-13-03 01:02Hi all,I have an update for those who were advising me a month or so ago.Refresher: My 8 year old son was tested by the school in November and came up with what the school called a low IQ of 86 and said that his achievement was commensurate; therefore he did not qualifty for sped services.He did however qualify for speech/language because we had a private CAPD eval done and the school accepted it.My son has been seeing a psychologist for anxiety related to school. It was pro-active on our part because of what we experienced with his older brother. We waited to long to get him professional help because we were told (by the school) that it is normal to be depressed and frustrated when you are LD and he would have to learn to adjust.Needless to say they were wrong when he said he would rather be dead than have to go to school because he’s stupid. Anyway … to avoid that with the younger one, we began seeing the psych at the first signs of anxiety and frustration.We had another IEP meeting for the younger one (going into 3rd grade) yesterday. With good conscience, I could not let him begin next year the same way this one ended. The psych was convinced that this child had learning disabilities and was eligible for services.We knew we were in for a fight over the eligibility so we brought the psych. When he (the psych) pointed out all of their glaring errors in the school’s evaluation, turns out my son is LD and not just a slow learner like they told us in November. When they told us that this is probably as good as its going to get for him.The past few months I have just been down right sad with their prognosis. I came to the board and everyone gave such wonderful words of encouragement and advice. The psych was telling us to go back in there and demand that they see their errors of diagnosis.All that worry and angst was for nothing. The school was wrong and made my son suffer through another year with minimal (at best) support.Our psych was appauled. I was glad he was there to see, first hand, what we have been telling him for a year now. We were being led down he wrong path whether it was intentional or not we don’t know.Good news; we brought in the heavy guns and it worked. The school is not happy with what happened yesterday, but agreed to it. Their response: “we concede, you win”I wanted to jump over the table at them when the administrator said this. I probably would have had I not been wearing a skirt!!!!So … . we got what we wanted. But the little bit of trust I had left in them is GONE!! And because they are not happy with us, we have crossed that line of being the problem parents now. Therefore, the battle has only begun.I guess I really have no specific question, I’m just really sad tonight. Sad for my kids and all kids out there who don’t get what they need for the many sensless reasons usually involving beauracracy and power struggles. How about those whose parents don’t know to ask questions and fight back?I could use a little advice and reassurance that a positive attitude (although I’ve been scammed) is vital here. I have the summer to get my act together, right?little lulu
attempting words of wisdom (voice of experience)
Little Lulu,
You are in line for a good one it looks like. Good for you to have that psych on your child’s side.
Best bet is to be well armed… prepare for the worst , but go in expecting the best.
Study up on the laws and those rights and responsibilities (for both the district and you, the parent).
Definitely tape record any further IEP meetings.
Never go in alone.
Wear pants :) Just kidding. I know the feeling of jumping over the table and strangling someone… try to convince yourself they just aren’t worth it! In truth, if you find yourself this frustrated, ask for a 5 minute break and go get some fresh air.
Respectfully request that all contact be done in writing and respond in kind.
Regularly, a couple times a year, check your child’s records thoroughly! Keep good documentation and track things.
Use the knowledge you aquire, but NEVER over ride your mother’s instincts… trust your gut.
Keep your cool.
Maintain your sense of humor.
Know when to take breaks, and don’t worry, the whole mess will be there when you go back to it.
Don’t involve your kids in your distrust and problems with the district.
Try (notice I said “try”) to not let it infiltrate your quiet times with spouse and family.
I wish you good luck in your endeavors and challenges ahead.
Best regards,
Andy
thanks
Thanks Barb for transferring my post over and thanks Andy for the advice with the twist of humor. I needed that!!
comments
Lulu,
I am glad for you that you received outside help to at least get your son’s diagnosis corrected. That was very important. But I’m afraid what I am about to say will not be encouraging. If the school cannot identify children with LD, then it is very unlikely that they know how to remediate LD. Find out immediately what they use to teach reading so you can be prepared to insist on a trained teacher in a research based method. The sad thing is, this will take time, which means your son will continue to struggle unless you decide to get outside help.
Janis
keep fighting
Just teach the kids how to read and do math any way you can.
I kept my daughter in school because she wanted to be with other kids, but I never trusted the school to provide her with an education. Things changed when we finally got her into a selective high school program and she actually got some real teaching at least from half her teachers.
You go girl!
Trying to keep the peace while advocating for your child is a noble cause. Un fortunately, it can be next to impossible. If there were more money in the budget and more time in the day the teachers and school administration might be able to show more enthusiasm for taking care of our children. Sounds to me like you did a great job of taking care of your child your child.
Re: Little lulu posts from old board
I was in somewhat of a similar situation to you, after we moved. My son tested pre K as having an 84 IQ. Everyone at that school though “knew” that was not his IQ. The tester thought he had trouble following directions (low performance scores). Then we moved and his IQ became him—no expectations. I had him tested at the end of that year after doing FastForward and he tested average—99. So one thing to think about is whether there are specific deficits that are surpressing his IQ. It makes a difference in terms of how he is treated, in my experience, but also those deficits are affecting his every day life as well. My son followed the classroom a lot better after doing FFW.
I also think that a school that doesn’t correctly diagnose your child probaby has no clue about how to teach him either. I fought a lot for my child when he was in second grade but it really did no good. I ended up pulling him out and partially homeschooling him. We then got a competent resource teacher, which helped. We became friends and it is clear that she never had adequate resources to really make a difference. I kept up the private work.
I basically have only asked for wonderful teachers for the last couple years–it has made a difference. My son’s problems have a huge motor component to them and private therapy has made a big difference. The school would never have done enough for him so in an odd way I thank their incompetence. They stirred me into action.
Beth
Lulu—
I cut and paste this from the old board because I thought it was very important.
I hope you are ok with that. You had several replys. I only caught one before the old board shut down so I decided rather than do a hit and miss with them, I’d leave them all off
Barb Bloom