I need help with a third grade LD student. She’s making great academic progress, but her social skills are poor. She rarely initiates questions when she’s uncertain of assignments. She waits for a teacher to ask her why she hasn’t begun her work. She doesn’t get involved in the learning or activities around her unless prompted. Does anyone have strategies for helping her to initiate more appropriate behaviors? Thanks, Dorothy
Re: Self-initiating strategies
3rd grade is awfully young. It’s also true that not all families encourage children to ask questions of adults. Some families have the expectation that children will sit in silence so we need be mindful that we can expect things of a child that are very foreign to the family.
Likely though she would come out of herself more if she can be helped to feel very safe in doing so. Id’ continue to prompt her - warmly - to become involved and in time she may not need the prompting. I’d ask her for questions and in that sincere interest she may come to feel more comfortable asking questions on her own.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither are outgoing, self-initiated children. It takes time.
Good luck.
Re: Self-initiating strategies
What they said… and keep prompting patiently. A key element is acting as if you expect her to succeed, and not sounding impatient. (Let’s see, you could always use “And do we need a personal invitation, now?” — NOT !) YOu also might try to tease out what is happening or not happening to get her started — or even a sort of behavior management plan for getting her to improve starting independently, where you at least notice that “hey, you did x and all I had to do was tap your desk to remind you to look at the people around you and do what they do to get ready for the assignment…”
Re: Self-initiating strategies
Sara,
Thanks for your comments. This little girl was so confused in kindergarten and first grade because the entire academic process was new to her. She just copies everyone else’s work. She has made great gains, so I’ll continue to be patient, model for her, and prompt. Thanks, Dorothy
Re: Self-initiating strategies
Jim,
Thank you for responding. Yes, this girl has gained confidence and is participating more than she ever was in kindergarten and first grade. I just want to make sure that I’m not missing a learning problem that should be dealt with now. I’ll continue to prompt and model for her. Thanks, Dorothy
Re: Self-initiating strategies
Sue,
Thanks for your help. Everyone who responded seem to feel that patience and modeling will continue to help her make gains. She likes to help out, so I’ll try to prod her with some rewards for additional participation. Dorothy
There are a number of strategies you could try, including giving rewards for when she initiates participation. Truth is, as she makes more academic gains and achieves more successes, her confidence will build and she will initiate more social interaction and become more involved in the activities around her without being prompted. It really sounds like she has had so many failure experiences before she came to you that she withdrew into something of a shell and that has become something of a habit. Real success experiences on a consistent basis to wonders for a kid’s self-esteem, which will in turn bring out more social interaction and self-initiative.