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Worried about daughter's social skills

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

My daughter has always been a very very social person. Loves to be around lots of people, always wants play dates, loves constant activity. She is rather intense at times, loves to be bossy, has problems ending play dates, etc. She really has only one friend who she plays with on a regular basis and it seems that that friend has stopped inviting her over, although she comes to our house to play a few times a week. I think it has more to do with the mom than the friend. My daughter wants to play with her every single day and it probably drives the mom nuts. It doesn’t bother me to have her friend over, in fact it is a break for me as my dd thinks she has to be entertained 24/7.

My daughter’s new private LD school does work with their social skills. They have a social skill of the week, read books, do skits, etc for the whole week on a given social topic. What can I do as a mom to help this problem out? Have you tried anything that really works? Are there any good books to read to my daughter about how to be a friend? Should I talk with the other mom about this? She is a friend and my next door neighbor who is pretty much a straightfoward and blunt person. Maybe I’m just being overly sensitive?

Suzi

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/28/2003 - 11:27 AM

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Rome wasn’t built in a day and social skills weren’t learned in one either. That you are willing to have frequent play dates for your daughter is a great thing to be doing for her social skills. I’d have a quiet sit down with her - if you’re concerned - and talk gently to her about the ‘bossiness’ you see and help her to see there are other ways to be. Certainly if ending play dates is an issue, I’d talk with her about that. Reassure her that the end of one play date means she can look forward to the beginning of the next one. Try to give her some warnings before it’s time for the other child to go home. 1/2 hour before, let your daughter know the time is drawing to an end. 10 minutes before, give a 10 minute warning and say “try to finish up your game and think about what you want to do next time you’re getting together”.

As you’re content to have the other child over to your house, I wouldn’t see any pressing need to talk with the other Mother but if you’re curious or if it bothers you, certainly address it with her.

Good luck.

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