My daughter is 6 yo and has been diagnosed with dyslexia and CAPD. She has always been a very very social person. Loves to be around lots of people, always wants play dates, loves constant activity. She is rather intense at times, loves to be bossy, has problems ending play dates, etc. She really has only one friend who she plays with on a regular basis and it seems that that friend has stopped inviting her over, although she comes to our house to play a few times a week. I think it has more to do with the mom than the friend. My daughter wants to play with her every single day and it probably drives the mom nuts. It doesn’t bother me to have her friend over, in fact it is a break for me as my dd thinks she has to be entertained 24/7.
My daughter’s new private LD school does work with their social skills. They have a social skill of the week, read books, do skits, etc for the whole week on a given social topic. What can I do as a mom to help this problem out? Have you tried anything that really works? Are there any good books to read to my daughter about how to be a friend? Should I talk with the other mom about this? She is a friend and my next door neighbor who is pretty much a straightfoward and blunt person. Maybe I’m just being overly sensitive?
Suzi
Re: Worried about my daughter's social skills
I think a lot of kids her age need to be taught social skills explicitly. I found with my kids reviewing rules about ending play dates before hand helps a lot. (no whining, ect). I also think lots of kids that age, LD or not, don’t see how others perceive them. That is our job. When my daughter was that age she hugged all her friends. One little girl in particular just froze up but but daughter didn’t seem to notice. I found I had to explictly teach her what people did when they didn’t like something. I would talk to her about her bossiness and how others might feel, and how she could take turns deciding what to do next (for example). You might even role play it—we have with our daughter.
I’d probably also try to widen her social circle because her relationship may be pretty entrenched with the neighbor child.
I have three kids and have found they all have required a lot of direct social teaching. Only one is LD.
Beth
Social Skills
This might give you some help. I did a research project and internship using a social skills intervention program. I have also worked with autistic chldren who have a great need for social skills intervention. Anyway, I believe in order for a child to build strong social skills they need to be used outside of a a school setting, in all settings, with variety of people. If your daughter is in a special LD school then I would suggest discussing with her teacher the specific skills they are working on in class. Then try to have your daugther use those skills in different settings (more has she gets better at each skill) and reinforce her positively when she uses the skills correctly.
Re: Worried about my daughter's social skills
Hi I can totally relate to your problem and I want to tell you I am so glad you are reconizing her social prob. now. My dd is 10 and starts jr. high next year and all the new clothes and hair doos and pretty things to make her “fit in” did nothing for her social skills, and I was pretty well in the dark until now. But I, too now am spinning my webs to get her help, I wish I had realized at age 3 that she didnt respond to other kids personal space feelings when she invaded them. And like another poster, the hugging and hanging on the kids made her seem loveable then, now I realize it was a problem just beginning.
Good luck to you, I am off to look for help too.
Social skills problems
I know exactly what you mean my daughter is now 13 and has dyslexia/deyscalculia. She has only a few friends whom she is constantly falling out with over such silly things… she is very intense with them at times and they just need space…. I tried getting children round but they come round once and thats it…… help what should i do …. i have spoken to the school as she just seems to be a magnet for the bullies we are very fed up with their schools lack of help….
Social Skills books and the like
My daughter and her friends play a game I bought off of some child therapy toys site called Galaxy: Aa cooperative card game. It said it was for the therapist and kid but I use it with her and she and her friends love it….good topics about social skills and how to get along with others.
Liz
Its a judgement call you have to make on whether this mom will hear your message in the right light. I’ve shared my son’s social problems with a few mom’s whose kids are also quirky, but my concern is always that he not be labeled a “different” kid by adults who don’t get it. You could give it some time, and if its really apparent that your daughter is being rejected by this friend, then you could approach the mom on that basis. ie, “has there been some problem between the 2 girls that we can help solve?”…
My son (now age 9) attended a social skills group during 1st grade, and that helped him alot with initiating games, losing gracefully etc. It sounds like your daughter will be getting some of that at school. We also do a combination of modeling appropriate social behavior, and talking with him directly about how he might handle different situations.