I really need some help. My son is 7 he just started 2nd grade he currently has an IEP. This was finally set up last year after jumping so many hoops! I even had him tested outside the system and the school told me he was trying to fool the tester. Lets just say the doctor with 20 plus years exp. was not to happy to hear that. They finally gave him Special Services. I was not to happy how things worked. He had been in a pre-first grade but to receive services he had to be put in reg. 1st then pulled from there for special ed. I was told to leave him in the pre-first class would be “double dipping” and that was not allowed. You can only imagin how I felt to hear that when it comes to my son there isn’t double dipping there is just doing what is best for him. Anyway we moved over the summer so he now is going to a differnt school. I must say I was excited a fresh start for him and us. Lets just say the administration at the other school was glad to see me leave. Now I am not so sure that this school will be any differnt. About 7 months ago we found out that he needed glasses the doctor said it was a strong perscription to start off with he needed +2.50 the doctor said there was no way he could read with out them or see a board. Which made us think we should maybe put him back in 1st with some modifcation or just on monitor status and see if the glasses really helped that much. When I called the new school to discuess this they thought it was a bad idea because he would be 8 at the end of 1st grade. So we went ahead with 2nd he is pulled out of the regular class for English and Math. He can’t read or spell at all. He doesn’t know all of his letters or sounds. I just don’t think they should keep moving him along. He needs to learn the basics.
Today I had to call up his teacher to get some clairification on a test he was going to take. She had no idea what I was talking about. She didn’t know him what grade he was in nothing. I know school just started but come on. She said she was so disorganized, had to many students and too many differnt grades to teach and that they really need another teacher. He didn’t even have a test, that paper he had wasn’t even his. I did find out that she has him on a second grade story when he according to his IEP he is still at the very very beginning of 1st grade. I asked if he would receive something from her each week so that I could read it and study it with him she said probably not. She said to just read to him every night. I have been doing that since the day he was born! She also said if he takes a test and doesn’t do well on it she won’t count it. Am I crazy but how does that help him. For the administrators to look at all perfect scores is great but what about him. He is going to be left behind and they don’t care. As long as the scores look good.
I could go on and on. I am so upset. I have never been so fustrated in my life. Any ideas? My biggest fear is he won’t ever read.
Re: I need help
Thank you for responding. Last night I was glad this board was here I feel better now that I just got it all out.
How did you find out that your son has dyslexia (my spelling is horrible I don’t think I spelled that correctly)? I often wonder if that is his problem to. The doctor never mention it. They did suggest a trail of medication and I did try it but presure of family and friends telling me I was druging him and the guilt I felt giving him a pill I quit after a few days. Can you tell me a little about using the medications and how your child acts on them. I will say the few days I gave it to him he did seem calm and focused but he also didn’t act like himself at all. It rather scared me.
general advice
ADD is a medical diagnosis and you should have a very serious talk with your doctor before using medication.
First things first; your son has a problem with reading, so try to get him some good and consistent instruction in reading and see if he can learn or if there are other underlying difficulties preventing him. It is clear that your school isn’t providing and isn’t going to provide good and consistent instruction, so you have to look elsewhere. A good tutor can work what appear to be miracles. Avoid the highly-advertised commercial centers, and go with either a private provider or one of the scientifically-based centers often discussed on Teaching Reading.
If, after a solid amount of work (at least ten to fifteen hours) your child is still making absolutely zero progress, then it is time to look at underlying problems like ADD and/or visual processing and/or auditory processing deficits.
Re: I need help
michelle,
Victoria is right. It is unlikely the school will teach your son to read. Take a look at the articles on this site under LD Indepth and then click on Reading. Here is one article that lists some good methods for remediating reading disorders:
http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/reading/reading_approaches.html
You probably will have to get a private tutor, and the sooner, the better. But be absolutely sure they use one of the effective methods listed on this site. That’s your best bet to getting appropriate help for your son.
Good luck,
Janis
Re: I need help
Thanks
He does have visual and auditor processing disorders, a memory weakness, and a fine motor skill delay. He just doesn’t seem to be making progress.
Last night at dinner we were talking to the kids about there day and he would tell me everything about the playground, lunch and music but the min we asked him what the story was about today and how was math. He said I don’t want to talk about school anymore. It was so sad.
I really don’t know what to do. I am currently looking for a tutor. I really don’t want to try medication again.
Thanks for the info
reading difficulties etc.
Hi again, I think the suggestion to seak outside tutoring is excellent and would probably be the best bet, but in case your financial resources don’t allow it, don’t assume you can’t get it through the schools. In texas, our schools are required to identify and provide special services for dyslexia intervention. Unfortunately the screening takes place generally in first and second grades and we didn’t move here until third. Once I demanded testing, the school tested him and agreed he was dyslexia and he has been receiving services for dyslexia at that time. My biggest issue in this area, is that his pullout for dyslexia usually takes him out of the classroom during one of his core subjects yet he is expected to be responsible for what was covered while he was not in the classroom. That is a lot to expect from an add student. We did have an at home tutor, which has helped, but could not afford the intensive programs that would probably have been most beneficial. As far as medication for adhd, you probably know that adhd is a controversial diagnosis and the issue of whether to medicate or not is also full of pros and cons. If you saw big personality changes in your son while on medication he was probably either on too high of a dose or he perhaps did not need it. We don’t see any big changes except that he gets more wound up when he is offf his meds. In fact there seems to be a positive change in his disposition. Prior to starting him on medication he would get very angry and thrown temper tantrems that lasted an hour or more and cryed at the drop of a hat. From the moment we started him on meds his self control has improved and though he can and does get angry he doesn’t loose it and go into a rage. So for us it was the right answer.
Re: I need help
Being the parent I am, I would probably write a letter to the :”overworkd teacher” and tell her how sorry I am about her dilemma; however, my son is entitled to FAPE, regardless of the paper work.
If he has handwriting issues, he probably needs an OT evaluation as well.
I would keep them on the hook; however, if financial resources are available, I would look into some very specialized tutoring.
After over 1 year on remediation we added Concerta (ADD-In) t her “intervention”. It made a world of difference (all positive) and we do not regret our decisions.
Hi Michelle
Michelle,
Your post struck a chord with me. It brings me back to my own very similar experience with my son. My adorable bright child was failing at school. I took him to sylvan, hired a tutor and he was still failing. I just wanted to cry.
I finally realized that if this was going to get done I had to do it myself. I did all the research on effective reading methods. I finally ended up with the book reading reflex and taught him myself. He did learn to read and can now read well.
He still had visual motor issues affecting his spelling and writing that were helped with interactive metronome and vision therapy. In the end I would say, “Just get him some effective reading methods and don’t count on the school.”
He may still need therapy but take one thing at a time. Try some effective methods first.
Re: I need help
As the parent of 8yr ds, i to am struggling to find the way through the maze of Spec ed. I have found Sally Shaywitz’s book Overcoming Dyslexia extremely helpful. I also suggest looking at the Wrightslaw web site. Your child has legal rights and you should be aware of them and how to use them to ensure the best possible education for your son. I have recently begun with an Advocate, she has been a wonderful resource in many different ways. You may want to consider this option, it is very nice to have a person who is knowledgeable of all the resources available to me and the legalities of dealing with the school system. She is helping me refine his IEP to make sure he is receiving the appropriate accomodations based on ALL his testing, not just the testing done by the school.
Reading Problems
Michele,
I agree with everyone about getting outside help. My son was diagnosed 1/2 way thru 3rd grade - after I requested it. But he is now in the 5th grade reading at 3rd grade level. I had hired an advocate which got us speech therapy, tech assistance and additional tutoring last year. This year I am hiring an educational therapist to start working with him twice a week - we now are in need of intense therapy - are going to start him on PACE. I decided on a specialist due to the problems I’ve had with tutors who do not understand what is needed. My son wrote an essay this last week to let the teacher know what he wanted to learn in 5th grade. His answer: he wanted to be able to read at 5th grade level and be able to meet the criteria of 5th grade to move on to 6th grade. After having your child tested just start researching to understand everything you can about the latest research. Good Luck
Re: I need help
Thank you
I Just wanted to thank everyone for there information. I will look into all of it. It is nice to know that I have found a place to come and vent about it or ask advice. Thank you so much.
Michele
I saw no one else had replied so thought I would tell you our experience with our son. My ds was behind in Kindergarten, first and second especially in reading, but I had already held him out in kindergarden and started him late-he had just turned six as he has a september birthday. We were in a private school environment and in knew he was lagging but kept being told he would catch up. Also, we had been going through a lot as a family due to my husband having chronic medical problems. We thought as did the school that some of his difficulties might have been emotional. We moved the Summer between second and third grade and upon enrolling him in school I immediately advised them I believed he most likely had a learning difficulty. When he was finally tested, he was delayed in reading, writing and spelling testing at kindergarten to first in all three areas. He was placed in special ed and didnt make much progress the first 3 months. Finally, his spec teacher suggested he might have add, primarily inattentive type. To make a long story shorter, he is now in 6th and after being placed on add meds, and 2 1/2 years in dyslexia intervention as well as 2 years in spec ed, he has just about caught up. The medications I believe helped him to focus and therefore learn. He now is mainstreamed in a regular ed class room full time exept for dyslexia pull-out. His spelling still lags a little- and I doubt he will ever be a strong speller, but otherwise the progress is phenomenal. I understand your wanting to get as much help as possible for your son and just wanted to let you know that there are success stories out there even when problems are caught later. Keep pushing the school to provide services and trying different things until you figure out what works best for your son. Try to maintain a working relationship with your son’s school as it is easier to get their help when the relationship isn’t adversarial. Best of luck.