I have a very active ADHD son in the third grade. It’s breaking my heart to see what he’s going through. I’m almost at the end of my ropes. We have tried so hard and spent allot of hours trying to help him with his school work but he still is not quite grasping it. While the other kids in his class are doing well, he struggles at all he does in school. At his last IEP they wanted to keep him in the 2nd grade, this year because they said he was having so much trouble. My question was why did we have to get to this point. The reply was we refused testing which was not true,why would we refuse testing for our child. So we found a teacher at the school who we had to hire to tutor our child through the summer so he could pass into the 3rd grade. We thought things were going to start improving. But we are right back to square one. He has so much trouble with focusing, and staying on track, his reading and understanding he gets lost and doesn’t remember what he has read. This year he has started 2-50 minutes resources classes. He’s taking strattera 80 mg and today he is starting adderall 20mg. Can anyone please HELP with advice and techniques for helping his study? We have an IEP meeting for Tuesday.
Confronting the school
I’m new at this but I’m wondering what good it would do to contest the school’s assertion that you refused testing. I guess I would want to know what it would gain. If my child might suffer from the fall-out I would probably concentrate of the best path for him at this point. I personally don’t trust school evaluations anyway so I would want confirmation of any of their findings. I would see a neuropychologist. I’m also thinking that he is still quite young so he could possibly benefit quite a bit from early intervention.
I have not had school testing yet because I’m working outside the system first. We are not labeling her yet but are working on the specific deficits such as short term memory issues, time management etc… We are in a slightly different situation though because my daughter’s grades are fine and she is in 2nd grade. You obviously need to do something fast.
Like I say, I am new at this and perhaps naive. I try to do everything with sugar and spice and resort to a standoff only if absolutely necessary. I like also to be of value to the school. I volunteer a lot and donate books to the library. If the school were to mention the “refusal of testing” again I would say something like. “Gosh, I am really confused and I am really sorry that there has been some sort of misunderstanding. What can we do to help my son at this point.” Honestly, a teacher may have misunderstood you in regards to your son’s situation. I think that they generally assume that most parents are in denial.
Best of luck to you. The good news is that there should be some progress now. Terry
Re: Confronting the school
I guess every school is different and every parent is different. I found a pointy hat a broom stick got me a lot more than a jar of honey. I have found the school system is manipulative and will scheme behind your back. I have found being a B***H keeps my son and his education fresh in everyones mind. When they see him, they think of me and his dad and are careful not to cut corners or mess up with him. They just don’t want to deal with us. When I would stop in unexpectedly to drop off a sweater or something, they’d see me and scatter. One of the playground moms told me they call me “hell in heels.” I won’t say I love this. I am human and would certainly rather be liked than disliked but not if its going to compromise my sons education. I know my rights and I know his. Before I knew them, the school used it against us, they don’t tell you your rights and they count on your ignorance. I have been lucky last year as they have been doing right by him and he had a great year. Haven’t had to wear the pointy hat at all. This isn’t a role everyone can or needs to play, if you told me in K that I’d have had to break chops like this, I’d have told you you were nuts. But it happens. I’m his only advocate so I play the role to the hilt.
When you are offered an evaluation, it is a very formal thing. You are called in for several meetings and finally given a permit or decline letter regarding the evaluation. Its not something you’d misunderstand or forget happened. There would be a record of it in his file. It is not something that is offered up on a silver platter either. It is expensive and time consuming and most of us have to go the whole nine yards to get it. If you have to go outside the system for this evaluation, and they find he has LDs, the school has to reimburse you for the cost of the evaluations. A lot of people don’t know this. Even with very good insurance, these tests run into the thousands. Unfortunately, it sound like your son isn’t going to be properly accomodated without being labeled. If he was doing well, I’d vote against the labeling, but it sounds like it can only benefit his education to get this all out in the open.
Schools and evaluations
It sounds like you know what your son’s problem is. Honestly I don’t put a lot of stake in testing either in school or out that tells me something I already know like my son has trouble focusing.
I decided to spend my money on interventions that work for specific problems. This has worked for us. I taught him how to read with phonographix because he couldn’t read. I didn’t need to spend thousands of dollars for someone to tell me he was dyslexic.
He has very obvious visual issues. He couldn’t draw, recoginize letters or shapes, do puzzles etc. He also had trouble focusing and would fidget in class.
Interactive metronome worked for the fidgeting and other focusing issues. Vision therapy has helped his visual deficits with IM improving this area as well. He is in a regular class and I have not even mentioned word one to his teacher this year. I know they can’t help so all I want them to do is not treat him like he is unintelligent. I think he will do fine but if he fails somewhere I will just intervene again as I have successfully in the past. And that is that!
Re: Schools and evaluations
I agree, the value of the testing isn’t in whats wrong with him, wasn’t news to me either. It WAS relieving to have his high intellegence and strong cog skills confirmed, it was also relieving to find out he didn’t have underlying LDS which can be masked by ADHD, and I’m no pro at LD detection. Most helpful was the insight into how his brain worked and the recommended approaches to teaching his “different brain”. The diagnosis itself wasnt worth as much as the biproducts of the evaluation. It can be invaluable to those trying to teach him.
need a little more advice
Thank you for your reply, I know he has been labeled as a child to just doesn’t want to listen and they think he is a distraction for the teacher and the other children and the school has given up on my son. The teacher told me that she couldn’t just pay attention to only him; it would not be fair for the class. Do you have any advice on what I should ask for in accommodations? My son is ADHD with L/D’s he’s lacking in reading and most of the other subjects. To me they should make school more interesting for him to learn. He hates school, he feels like the school treats him like he is stupid. It breaks my heart. I feel so alone on this when it comes to me against the school. But this is my child we are talking about I will say and do what ever it take to get my child the appropriate schooling. We have a school in our area for children with learning disabilities but I can’t afford it. Does any one know of a grant for kids for special needs?
FAPE
It sure sounds like the school is not giving your child a Free and Appropriate Education.
If you can prove that they have not helped your son, and your son is falling behind then you can sue the school to send your son to go to the Ld school.
Go to www.schwablearning.org and post your questions there and the moms there will tell you your rights and what you can do about it.
new to this myself
My son is in second grade this year and even though school just started he is already having a hard time with focusing and sitting still during his class. He is in reesource room 1 hour a day 5 days a week and then having speech therapy 30 minutes a week and OT 30 minutes a week. He has been doing this schedule since the middle of kindergarten. His teacher last year said he was doing good and met the standards for passing 1st grade however he didn’t even know how to do the things she graded him on. She just passed him to second grade because he was in resource. He is doing good in resource class because it’s a small group and a lot more indidvidual attention. regular class work is just over his head. depending how he does this year we might just put him in another school and hold him back in 2cd grade. He is on ritalin and is a very active boy I don’t want him overmedicated so he just gets a little. His doctor agrees with me on this however, my mom things he needs more medicine because she can’t handle him. Other people can handle him jsut fine and his teachers this year are doing a good job of keeping me informed unlike last year. I didn’t find out until the end of the year that he was having trouble in class. It was very annoying. Sometimes the school system works and sometimes not.
These kids are all very different from each other. Their minds don’t work the same. You need an evaluation to see how his mind works and then come up with a study plan. Ask them to produce the evidence of the refusal. They should have a permission form where you declined the offer. When they can’t produce it, go to the board of ed and tell then the games your school is up. You’ll get what you want from them.