I am feeling overwhelmed and depressed

Susan,

I am so sorry for all you are going though. I don’t understand autism so some of your message went over my head but I wanted you to know this: You are a good mother. If you were a bad one, you wouldn’t be here looking for answers.

The doctor should never have been mad! Good people with good intent can come to different concluetions.

Good luck on your parenting journey.

Are there any groups in your area that help parents who have special-needs children? You are dealing with a tremendous amount of pain and responsibility, and speaking with others (face to face) who may have similar situations on a regular basis may help. Ask the special ed people in your town—parents and teachers—or local chapters of agencies for people w/learning issues. You sound like a strong, smart mom, but you need to take care of yourself, too!

>My son is 10. He has been to 2 psychologists and a Pediatric doctor who specializes in behavior in a clinic that mostly deals with autism. Both psychologist felt he fell in the middle of the spectrum…the Pediatrician, did not agree…he was angry at me when her group of “experts” sat in when we discussed his behaviors, they later on ruled out the autism spectrum because of his neg. reaction towards what I was saying…

I don’t know what they are talking about. Autistic kids can be quite negative. There is a lot of frustration and depression that they are experiencing. This leads to the negativity.

>My son is Obsessive, Oppositional and struggles with formulating language. I read alot about learning disabilities. I feel his brain processes things abnormally slow

Well abnormally slow compared to “normal” whatever that is, but not abnormal to him. Autistic kids sometimes process very slowly. I worked in a center for autistic adults and would often tell new people that this client or other, you got to give them a minute to process what you say. They will understand it. If you think about how hard this is that it is not just a new language but an “alien” language— many high functioning autistic people think of themselves as aliens. There is even a webpage, Ooops wrong planet.

>The more I learn about learning disabilities, I realize how I struggled learning-I thought it was just because my home life wasn’t stable…this depresses me. I feel so resposible for my sons problems. On top of this…my 16 year old is autistic, m.r., and has Tourettes and

Oh gosh, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! I doubt anyone who had a similar situation would have a “stable” home situation. Unlike the average, you have two kids that are doing odd things and not using language to communicate. Or at least not like normal.

>Epilepsy…somethimes…I am overwhelmed just keeping myself afloat and dealing with my inadequacies…I think I am just having a bad spell of the blues

I would stop seeing these pros as they are not helping you. Perhaps a different center or maybe just a sensitive person who understands and sees things better because they aren’t helping you feel that it isn’t your fault. Also sounds like you need help with depression.

>Maybe if someone could suggest a good book that will help me see my 10 year old in a more positive light? I talk to him all the time, I try to make him feel good….he likes to make mean faces at me and to be oppositional-but he does love me…he struggles to love me

I’d recommend two books: Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood
“The World of the Autistic Child” by Bryna Siegel.
Yep I know a good site or two: There is Barb Kirby’s Asperger site (sounds like your kid is not really AS but they might refer you to some other site, and I think there are parents struggling with the same things), her site is OASIS— http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
There is forum and info as well as other links.

There is also the autism picture page (which has a pic of me! :-))
http://www.picturepage.net/

>world moves so awful fast. Say some prayers for me…I need them now.
Susan[/quote]

HTH,

—des

I understand how overwhelmed you feel. I have been there too! Here is a book that may give you hope: Please read The Churkendoose Anthology. It is edited by Judith Bluestone of the Handle Institute in Seattle. You can order the book at www.handle.org or at amazon.com where you can even buy a used copy cheaply.

Go to www.handle.org anyway. The folks there are creating new ways to help children and adults with neurological disorders. They are way out ahead of anyplace else I’ve seen.

Good luck![i][/i]

Is sounds like no one has given you any difinitive answeres so it would be really impossible for you to try to put together stratgies to help your son. No wonder you feel so helpless. it sounds like the doctor is not interested in your son, only his/her own ego. It sounds like it is time for a new MD and full blown pediatric neuro-pscycological work up with a a PHD who specializes in learning disorders. call your local IDA (www.inder-dys.org) for a refferral. Keep all the previous diagoses from the clowns you have been dealing with away from he new professional. Let him or her diagnose with a clean slate. Has your son beed evalauated for a central auditory processing disorder by an audiologist? That can cause many of the problems you descibe.