Both of my children are LD in reading/writing and math; son age 8 and daughter age 12. I have two issues need help with:
1) We recently had out of town relatives staying with us. The boy, my nephew, age 7 was playing with my son. They were playing a game that required reading, so I was sitting by my son thinking I may have to read a card for him. Sure enough, my son did come across a card he wanted me to read, so I did. My nephew then said to my son, “Can’t you read that???” My nephew was reading expertly and is obviously ahead of grade level. I ignored the question, wasn’t sure what to say. My son didn’t say anything but I know he felt bad. The family doesn’t know of my kids LD’s. We are not that close and I chose not to tell.
2) My daughter had upcoming state assessment tests this year in 7th grade. She does not want to take them. They are an effort in frustration for her. She hasn’t done well on them in past. I think because the subjects on the tests are so broad and the kids can’t study the specific topics beforehand. She is however doing quite well in her regular classes with the right accomodations- which are study guides before tests and any words unknown to her are read to her during tests, (and of course lots of support from me with her homework). So, we found out about another student at her school whose parents did not want their daughter to take the state tests (not LD). The mom is an educator and disagrees with the tests. The school said the parents can’t opt out, but the child can refuse, which is what this kid did. My daughter wants to do this..if her teachers don’t give her a hard time about it.. Are state assessment tests helpful to LD kids? I think not.. I plan to discuss with her support teacher at upcoming conference.
Thanks for any suggestions.
Karen D.
Interesting topic!
This just came up regarding my 10 year olds’ religious ed teacher. I wanted to send a note to the teacher in advance explaining the LD, letting her know what he would have difficulty with (so to not embarrass him by asking him to do XY & Z in front of the others) and also hitting his strenths (as people do tend to focus on the weaknesses). His father feels we should just let him go. I don’t know….I want David to be able to self advocate yet he has asked to drop out of classes after having been embarrassed. Maybe he is just to young. He does see his LD as just another aspect yet don’t we all want to hide what we are weak at?
Barb
Re: two children with LD
We also just enrolled our son in a new religious school and the day is divided into 2 parts : hebrew (which he may never be able to read) and then other instruction. I did call the school ahead of time and lo and behold they have a special teacher for the dyslexic kids for hebrew. For the other stuff he’s with a regular group of kids with a regular teacher. I figure he can speak up for himself if there is stuff going on that he can’t keep up with.
Its a balancing act. I don’t want him to focus only on the disability, but he’s going to go out into the world without me more and more and has to be able to be his own advocate.
To tell...or not to tell...????
I also hate having dyslexia define my son, and I DON’T believe it is appropriate for him to always be singled out. Some kids are comfortable with this and some are not. Back when David was still struggling (reading is not a problem any longer, although his decoding new words out of context is weak) I would have just said — ‘David is still struggling with his reading. But it’s coming along, isn’t it Buddy!’ Then I might have said to nephew, ‘Gee, buddy, you’re reading really well for age 7. Are you one of the people who find reading easy?’ Usually a child like that would say ‘YES’, but if he didn’t, we’d have even more chance to discuss how hard learning to read can be, and how practice makes perfect, blah blah…
I have had this same situation happen several times, with the scenario above played out as reported. My one nephew was like I was — reading at a 3rd grade level by age 6.5. My son’s best buddy was reading Harry Potter to himself in Gr. 2 (november!) when we were with much gratitude and joy, thanks to a summer tutor who got us started at all, reading ‘Frog and Toad are Friends’ and other easy readers.
Only well into the summer after Grade 3, after MUCH MUCH MUCH assisted reading, was his reading becoming reliable, and it was a full year more before ‘Harry Potter’ was within our sights for silent reading! And I believe my son is at least a year to two ahead of the usual ‘dyslexic kid standard’ thanks to said summer tutor and a natural love of stories (plus a mean slave drivin’ mamma!).
I firmly believe all dyslexic (or just struggling!) children should hear this regularly about READING: Honey, YOU WILL…it may take longer, it may take more teaching, it may take more hard work…but YOU WILL BE A READER! NEVER let anyone make you feel ‘less than’, just as you won’t put them down for talents YOU HAVE but they do not…and then they should be reminded of those talents, especially ones that a known ‘good reader’ does not!
As far as your daughter, I believe she is right. I might make her write the test for the experience, but then again…WHY? I have little faith in standardized tests, but support them locally since they are the ONLY thing that is getting direct, sequential phonics instruction into our local schools, since teachers MUST work towards the Gr. 10 LIteracy test. Because of this, I had my son write, but told him that ‘it’s only a test’ and actually did not share the results. So, if your daughter is ready to self-advocate against ‘bureaucratic stupidity’, perhaps it is a good thing!
Good luck to you and your two!
Re: two children with LD
I hate the state tests, but you don’t graduate with a diploma here if you opt out! So be very, very sure you understand your state diploma requirements before opting out!
Janis
inappropriate questions and standardized tests
I tend not to ignore inappropriate and insensitive questions from children but rather take it as an opportunity to help them understand how NOT to ask such questions. I might have said, “Your cousin wants some help from me. Sometimes we do. Is that a problem for you?” Or ‘don’t you ever ask a question about something you’re not sure about?”
As to your daughter, I don’t understand the school saying students have the right to opt out but that parents don’t have the right to opt their children out. I’m not sure they’re right about that… Rarely do we give students under 18 such rights.
In any case, if your daughter is willing to opt herself out, I wouldn’t hesitate. I don’t feel these standardized tests benefit any student, LD or not, or any school. To me as a parent , teacher and taxpayer, they’re a waste of time and money and place students and teachers under unnecessary and pointless stress.
This is just my opinion, but here it is. I think your son is old enough (and certainly your daughter too) to be able to discuss their disabilities for themselves. Giving my son (now 9) a name for his difficulties, an explanation of what it is, and examples of successful people that are also dyslexic has been very empowering. Its just part of who he is, like having brown hair or wearing glasses. Its been a long process for him to believe that he really is as smart as his non-LD friends, but its not like he didn’t know he was different anyway.