Decisions, decisions

Our son, now in 7th grade, exited spec. ed. at our request in 5th grade; he’s very bright, and we continued tutoring thru 5th grade and that summer, then let him “fly on his own” with tons of home support for middle school and it has been terrific. In our upper middle class public middle school special ed. is for kids significant cognitive problems, or significant attention and behavior issues, and does not have poitive press amonst the students. Yes, he still reads slowly, writes very slowly, can’t spell well, but fits right in. I am convinced the key to doing well in middle school is great social skills, acceptable behavior around the teachers and good organization…you do not have to be a genius in reading or wriiting. I would spend the time on these issues (social, organization, behavior) to ensure a positive middle school experience.

Thanks SAR,

But there’s the rub.

You wrote “I am convinced the key to doing well in middle school is great social skills, acceptable behavior around the teachers and good organization…”

His social skills are for naught - he acts out inappropriately to get attention and most of the other boys don’t like him. He’s seen the school guidance counselor, and answers all her questions correctly, but he can’t move that to the real world dynamic. We’ve looked into therapists locally - but all the ones I have spoken to don’t understand NLD and aren’t convinced they can help him. We’ve had some bad experiences with therapists (my older step children went because their mother was awful to them), and I am suspicious about them.

And his organizational skills are almost non-existant, with no support from his teacher. I organize his papers into folders at home, but they often don’t make it home.

I want to take him back to the reading clinic where he did so beautifully for a couple of brush-up courses (it’s 800 miles away), and I want him to do Interactive Metronome (closest provider 1 1/2 hours away). Time and money …

My son has been a behavior problem at school occasionally (putting other students into head locks, pushing them off the seats in the cafeteria) and while I understand these are manifestations of his disabilities, I’m leery of letting the IEP go until I know these things are under his control.

Thanks for the response. We’ll keep plugging away. :-)

Lil

Hi Lil,

I know we have spoken on another forum. But I can tell you that for my NLD son, things didn’t even START to heat up until 5th grade. He has been on an IEP since kindergarten except for 3rd grade, and has ALWAYS been at or above grade level.

But, truthfully, he would be drowinging now without an IEP and good solid SPED support. Both last year (6th grade) and this year, he has had his SPED teacher in almost every class with him. The one class without SPED support, Spanish, we had to drop for that reason.

He has no reading (decoding) problems at all, so he doesn’t have that to deal with that issue the way your son does. Even so, he absolutely cannot produce the quantitiy of written work expected in middle school, even with the use of a laptop. If he has teachers who understand that, and will modify the work load, he does fine. He does about half the number of math problems that the other kids do (though it takes him longer to do even that half) but he still gets test scores between 85-95%, so he clearly is learning the material.

This is also true for science and social studies. We have just gone to a modified grading system for him in Science and Social Studies based on mastery of the material, rather than counting every assignment turned in.

English is where we try to put in the majority of time on homework, because he really DOES need extra work in this area. The mechanics of his writing aren’t bad, but his inferential ability, and the ablility to compare, contrast and draw conclusions is very weak. He needs someone to talk him through all of these, otherwise he will write several hundred words with almost no content. Once he has talked it through, and has the idea, committing it to paper (actually computer<g>) is much easier.

He has an Academic Support period daily, which is vital, but even this isn’t enough. He meets with one of his general ed teachers daily before school on a rotating basis, so each teacher has a chance to keep him on track for their class.

His organizational skills are are getting better, but are still extremely poor. With solid support both at school and at home, he is starting to internalize the process, but he can easily get overwhelmed. I can’t tell you how often I get a call from school saying that he thinks he has left a piece of homework at home, when I KNOW it is in his trapper because I helped him put it there. I can usually tell the teacher exactly where to find it in the trapper, but he can’t find it by himself. (despite color coded folders, agenda, etc.)

Things get harder for NLD kids, NOT easier. I know my son is not alone in this respect. Novel material and situations slow his processing speed dramatically, making everything that much harder. Since EVERYTHING in school is novel (otherwise they wouldn’t need to teach it) this is an on-going issue. It is the NLD kids WITHOUT adequate support who get so overwhelmed they begin to act out and get themselves in trouble.

I wish it were not the case, but I strongly suspect my son will need this kind of support all through high school, and even at the college level to some extent.

He is learning, he gets good grades, and things ARE improving. But he will be behind the curve developmentally for a long time.

Karen

Lil,

How about putting him on a 15 minute consult? I know Leah-FL did this. She has provided all remediation but the school has provided technology and other accomodations. This would keep him under the legal protection of an IEP but keep you out of trying to get them to provide him services. It also would eliminate the “label” as he wouldn’t receive services at school.

Does he type? I know for some kids that makes a tremendous difference with the writing.

Beth
Beth

Yep, thanks Beth! I always say, when in doubt, never give up the IEP!!! Keep the accommodations and legal protection for your child. Forget the academic side…you have already figured out that the school doesn’t know how to help him and you can do a better job at that yourself. A consultation IEP is a very good thing. You can have a written language goal that can be addressed in the regular classroom with consultation by the LD teacher.

Janis

Thanks to everyone.

Karen, I’ve certainly read your posts with great interest, and am familiar with your story. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to wait until after the middle school transition before actually removing my son from an IEP. I can see the schoolies moving in that direction, though. I am looking into used laptops (so I don’t get too upset when it gets dropped and broken <g>) and am considering a palm pilot for me. That way, if I think the palm pilot will be beneficial to help my son stay more organized in school, he can use mine, or we can get him one, too. Of course, with the computer, he can just make a homework file and enter everything in that.

Beth, Thanks for the suggestions. My son does have an accommodation where he is allowed to type all written work. He still gets enough practice handwriting with his other subjects. He had a consultative IEP all last school year, but didn’t really get anywhere. He made great progress at Read America, and I reinforce it at home - but at school he constantly hears “guess!” rather than sound it out - so his skills are slipping a little. And the teacher always carries more weight than the mom, plus it’s easier to guess than sound out the words. Geez …

Janis, You are very correct about keeping the IEP because of the legal issues, but sometimes I get a little angry because the school gets the money and my son gets nothing he really needs. And then my husband and I pay for it. Plus he hates the label. I suppose with no direct support in the classroom, he can learn to ignore it, because none of his friends will know he has the label.

Lil

You might want to ask a professional advocate in your state…in mine(Mass) there is no IEP unless there is a need for services under the new IDEA, I am not sure consult is a level of service. What protection are you looking for with an IEP that does nothing? Everyone in my state takes the highstakes tests, and they are requilred for graduation. I totally agree that remediation is best done outside of school, and that includes social skills traiing.

Lil,

Just a comment on the school reinforced “guessing” (Whole language— the more I know the crazier it sounds). Anyway I think you should work specifically to combat it. Say something like he can go ahead and guess in school, but it won’t really help him read. You might ask him to try and figure out how good he would be at dialing the phone if he guessed at it, “Ok I don’t know the number, but I’ll make a guess”. Or buying something at the store, “I don’t know what that costs but I’ll just guess” (and what if the store clerk did that, “That will be, wait, I’m not sure— oh ok that will be $50” (too bad it was marked at 50¢). You can think some more of common guessing that could occur (maybe we could guess how much gas we put in the car instead of paying for the actual amount)— I think I’d like that!

Anyway after you totally show that guessing won’t work, say it’s the same in reading. If you see the sentence “The rabbit was lying on the ground” and guess “lying” to be “flying”, you’ll certainly get an interesting picture (taken from V/V)!! She has another one about a guy manufactoring Snails instead of “sails”. Decoding is important, and you CAN prove it. I think you can get your kiddo involved in this as well. You can read to him and get to some long word (that might have a funny outcome) and make a pretend “guess”.

—des

Do not let your IEP go. That will enable him to get any and all help in college. Financially, rooming needs, assistance on campus etc. Kids witha diability on campus get tremendous amounts of help and support. You just have to have the documentation. As for behavior etc. have you had his combination of meds checked. Afriend of mine’s son was on a group of meds and some of the behaviors you mentioned(a lot in fact) were created by the drug interaction with each other. I also was told by a retired principal that if you truly feel that your child’s needs are not being met and you have done everything on the local level, go to the state board of education and report the school district. All funding to the district is put on hold until the claims are investigated. Drastic, yes. But if you really feel at the end of your rope with the school and they are doing nothingg, this is an alternative.