ADHD and lying

It can be typical in ADD. I wonder about the consequences as well. Two weeks sounds long. A lot of kids will still use the phone, tv, video games, etc when grounded. It might be better to take one of these (or more) away for a shorter time, so the consequences are more clear. Sometimes after too long a. the original charge maybe forgotten b. they just go from grounding to grounding.

The other thing is you might think about the positives for good behavior. If you want to increase telling the truth, not being sneaky, you need to reward those. Oh yeah, you might think they should be expected, and perhaps so, but if these are problematic then he should know that he is showing these behaviors and that they are rewarded. Some kids will get out of a bad consequence by lying so it gets reinforced. And telling the truth gets bad consequences. Might have started that way. So when he is straight with you, he needs to NOT have something negative happen, and then you should notice his truthfulness.

I’m really talking regular ol’ behavior mod. I think a great book on the subject, oh lots on dog training, but lots of other things is “Don’t Shoot the Dog” by Karen Pryor. Might find it in the dog section in the bookstore or library.

—des

One of my dd’s sees a psychologist for OCD and anxiety but she is also a little oppositional. The doctor said that it is really hard for her to treat 15 year olds that have behavioral issues going way back to the toddler years. Basically, the sooner you can find what works for a child the better. So, I guess what I’m saying that you are right to be thinking about this seriously and you do need tips from other parents but I would also seek professional help. I would also get books.

So, network, read books and seek professional advice. Someone on this site recommended the book “Back Talk” when someone posted similar concerns as yours. I understand that it is short and clear. I’m going to get that book myself. We use positive reinforcement/ behavior modification but the techniques for a 4 year old wouldn’t be appropriate for a 13 yr old (earning points for our “treasure box”)

Good luck, Terry

This isn’t uncommon teenager behavior, especially in kids who are having problems in school or at home. How are things going with friends and school for this child?

The symptoms most often associated with ADHD are inattention (distractibility, short attention span), hyperactivity (hyperkinesis), and impulsivity.

Lying/fibbing is not one of the main symptoms of ADHD.

I’d be more interested in why he lies. What does he get from the lying? What does he get out of it?

In my experience, kids often lie to get out of a tight spot. What’s so tight about brushing his teeth that he’d fall to lying?

Yeah what pgd said accept for one thing ADHD is not real.

Why do you say ADHD is not real?

I have to chime in with pgd. Lying is not part of ADHD. But there must be reasons for it. Its like cheating at school -invariably its the kids who can’t do the task that cheat. Could the kid be oppositional -doesn’t want to do it and doesn’t want to take the heat for not doing; memory/following direction problems and doesn’t want to let on; poor self-esteem/depression resulting in no energy to look after himself. These are difficult and frustrating issues to work with.

I would look toward support structures eg. checking the chart every morning. I would look to counseling pronto for the depression/self esteem issues.

I like the book “Healing ADHD” by Dr. Amen. He points out untreated ADHD problems are problems for life. Many alcoholics and substance abusers are ADHD’ers without a handle on how to help themselves. the book has a great deal of information on ADHD and is well worth the money.

Keep looking for answers. Keep us posted. You have the support of other parents of ADHD’ers.

[quote=”Dad”]Why do you say ADHD is not real?[/quote]

I’ll give this a try. I think it is ludicrous to believe 10% of children suffer from this alleged impairment for which there is no objective test.

Are their kids with cognitve difficulties? Ofcourse, but it is statistically impossible for the number of claimed ADHD kids to exist.

I guess the analogy I could make is the classic belly ache. Well lets call the classic belly ache a disease unto itself. Kinda crazy huh? Let’s not call it appendicitis, peptic ulcer, ect… Instead let’s call the syptoms a disease and and give those symptoms a name and treat only the symptoms with a drug that will in the long run make the symptoms worse so that when the medication stopps the symptoms come back and we can then put 2+2 together and come up with 5 and further confuse ourselves in believing the symptoms are the disease.

Are you going to suggest that only ADHD falls under this or do all psyche problems likewise fall under this?

There is a bi-i-i-ig difference between sayine “10% of our children can’t be really ADHD” and “ADHD is not real”…

Actually, I’ve noticed (both from reading I’ve done and from interactions with ADHD children) that lying is not an uncommon problem in ADHD. It goes along with their impulse control problems. Some ADHD kids may lie to get themselves out of a tough spot, and not foresee the problems that the lying is going to cause them.