Hi all. I haven’t posted in a while but am feeling very frustrated by the menality of preteens and teens. I have a 12 gifted/ld son who suffers from being teased by other children. His school is putting on the play Annie, and he told me he wanted to be in the play (he has a beautiful voice and is a pretty good actor). He would have a strong shot at a part if not the lead. Last week, when he went to the meeting, he was very excited about auditioning. Now, the day before auditions, he says he is not trying out because it will open him up to more teasing. He also said only 3 boys signed up for parts. All the rest joined stage crew. When I talked to him about not worrying what others think and to do what he wants, he said he would just be asking for the other boys to tease him more. Why can’t kids be nicer to each other? Are we making any progress as a society to help kids embrace differences instead of shunning them? Why is not ok for boys to like to sing and act unless they are an adult or in a boy band? I don’t expect any answers but had to ask the questions. Thanks for reading.
Jean
embracing differences
I do think we are making progress in accepting differences but I think your son’s school has a way to go. Where are the teachers with all this teasing? They should be fostering an attidude of accepting difference and couseling students who do the teasing. I have many negative things to say about the school where I teach but I’m proud to say boys who go out for parts in the play are not teased here - they’re admired.
Good luck with this.
Re: frustrated by children behavior
Our son is 13 and he does no extracurriuclar school activities because they’re considered to be uncool by the kids in the upper grades (this is a small, private school). It is sad that these attitudes about school activities prevail. But on the other hand, if there is a bright side to all of this, it’s good that your son can read the social cues in his school well enough to see that he would be teased more if he was in the play. That’s something.
The middle school/adolescent years are just an ugly time. They’re tough on everyone.
One idea that come is to mind is this. Rather than participate in school activities, our son does his activities outside of school — boy scouts and martial arts. Perhaps you could try enrolling your son in a local drama group or chorus, if one is available. That way, he could pursue his interests without fear of ridicule from the other kids.
Another option is to take a look at the three boys who are participating in the show. If they are friends of his or kids that he wants to get to know better, maybe trying out for the play isn’t such a bad idea. It could have a positive social benefit if he ends up making a few good friends out of deal.
LJ
If it makes you feel any better(or worse)I think this is more related to being a boy than being gifted or LD.
And yes, it sucks!!!
I have 3 boys(ages 12-18) and I am appalled at how little progress we have made in stamping out stereotypes.
Boys are more macho than ever, from what I see, calling each other ‘fag’ for the slightest indiscretion. And the girls want the football players and the boys whose dads make the most money.
NOTHING has changed since I was in hs back in the 70’s!!!!