How to handle son who refuses to go to Special Ed?

Is he a freshman? What exactly would he learn in this class? Many special ed. classes at the middle school or hsigh school level are mhomework/study halls where little direct instruction occurs. It might help convince him if you could say specificallly what would be going on in this class. In our middle school the special ed. study class is a homework help class without specific instruction.

My son didn’t want to got to middle school resource room either. But, we just told him he had to go. It turned out, since it was a separate class, that most of his classmates didn’t even know he was going to resource.

What do they intend to teach in the class? That would be a good thing to find out to convince him that it would be worthwhile. In my son’s middle school class, they worked on organization, went over exam topics, had time to ask any homework questions, but there was not any special remediation for specific problems. My son ended up liking it, because he got his homework done at school, and got extra notes for his core classes.

Kay

Hi Elizzy,
Having a teenager I can understand your difficulty. Is there any way that your son can meet the teacher and observe the class prior to starting in it?

In the past when I’ve had to prepare my kids for changes, I usually talk about what’s going to happen in order to get them used to the idea.

I’ve found that talking alot about something beforehand and giving them time to think about it helps. Good luck to you!

First, I would find out whether the class is worth going to. I would go and observe it.
If you feel like it’s something that would be helpful to him, then put the cards on the table. The problem is he’s not doing well in school — is that a problem for him? Should be. One thing that could hlep is the resource class (though do NOT assume that it will be helpful — as often as not, it is a major waste of time). What are ideas he may have to help him do better?
Was his LD just diagnosed? HOw long has he been struggling, and how far behind is he?
What’s his general attitude towards learning and school?
This is a situation that could continue a downward spiral — if he “has to go” to this class then he may decide to prove it won’t help… on the other hand, you could also bargain that he’s got to go for a quarter — but *if* he successfully does x, y, and z he can opt out the next quarter. Please, though, realize that things like “getting better grades” can be awfully elusive. You could bargain that he does homework (figuring out independent study strategies and applying them) at home instead of this resource thing — and establish that it’s learning you’re looking for, whether or not it’s immediately reflected in grades. Not knowing how he’s doing in the general knowledge sphere, or what his goals are from school & life, it’s hard to toss out too many ideas, but it’s good that you’re really thinking about this situation.

I would be very hesitant to make him go just becuase I know that little real remediation occurs in high school resource rooms. I’d purusre private testing and remediaiton if at all possible.

Janis

My son wanted out of the special ed class in third grade. The teacher was mean and there was one child who had some serious problems. They always put my son with this child because my son was a calming influence on the boy.

I fought to get him out. I have never looked back. My son works very hard to stay out of special ed. He doesn’t really do much extra academic work. We have found success through various therapies especially vision therapy and interactive metronome.

My so is very happy in the regular class. To me that is the most important thing

My son is 13 years old. At first did not want to go to his special Ed. , or CMC. It helps if he has friends that go there too. A couple of years ago I had my son’s Sp. Ed. teacher intoduce me to other moms with LD kids. Of course she ask the parents if they wanted to me me. They did. I invited the kids over. He got to know them. The result, he feels better knowing that some of the kids he knows goes there too.

But, even though my son has an IEP, he someimes doesn’t want to follow it and tries to do all the work. It is because his math teacher lets the kids in her room grade each other’s work.

He makes good grades, but he is only suppose to do every other problem and the kid behind him that grades papers, knows this. Also the kid that grades his paper has to get up and get a different key to grade with or something like that, so my son said he would rather just do all the problems, in which case, depending on the amount of other homework, I have to help him with becuae it is so time comsuming.

Have you gone to visit this special ed. class yourself? I’d always suggest that before trying to sell any class or program to an adolescent. Make sure you like what you see there before making this a big issue with your son. You might come away from it thinking it’s nort worth fighting with your son or you might love what you see and have some ‘selling points’ to use with your son.

Is the teacher particularly good? Or is the class a kind of a ‘holding tank’ where students who are struggling in school are placed and not much is really done for them? Do the kids seem comfortable in the class and with the teacher? Or are they sullen and withdrawn? Do they receive help with their other schoolwork or is just more work piled on them in this class?

What else in life would you buy into signt unseen? Likely nothing so if you can take some time spend it sitting quietly in the back of the special ed. program to see what you see.

Good luck.