Hi,
I just found this site. I’m having a real hard time dealing with my 9 year old ADHD. He is on Adderal XR, having just been increased to 20 mg. I work full time and when I pick him up from his after care program,he’s bouncing off the walls. His impulsivity gets him into trouble, he doesn’t listen, and now he’s in danger of being suspended from the group.
When he’s medicated, he’s great. I have a real hard time dealing with him, feel like a very bad mother, some nights it’s awful with the hyperactivity, he can’t sit still, he doesn’t listen … he tries my patience to no end and I have a spouse who doesn’t come home until late.
I love my son dearly, but it makes our home life very stressful.
Thanks for listening, Carol
Re: New Here - 9 Yr Old Son with ADHD
Has a connection ever been found between daycare stay and hyperactivity? What about working mothers and child hyperactivity? I appreciate that you didn’t ask for advice, however, I offer the following in the hope that it helps.
If your child is “bouncing off the walls in day care”, I’d try removing the day care walls.
Remove the AdderallX (after consulting with your doctor and telling him about the new plan). Quit work. Tell your spouse to get home at a reasonable hour. He may have to change jobs. Stop buying new stuff and make do with the old stuff. Sell what you can’t afford to make payments on. Commit to concentrating both your entire non-work energies on your son for the next two years. Plan out a new, ordered, loving and disciplined life for him.
He will absolutely LOVE his new world and he’ll probably get a lot better.
“What are you prepared to do?”
Sean Connery in “The Untouchables”
Re: New Here - 9 Yr Old Son with ADHD
Oh, I forgot.
Move this entire new life closer to where as many extented family members as possible live. Especially grandparents and those who have shown tolerance and love in the past.
Brian
Re: New Here - 9 Yr Old Son with ADHD
I would like to see scientific evidence to back up Brian’s advice.
ADHD and after school
Have you shared this with his prescribing physician? It sounds as if his medication is wearing off as school ends and he - and you - are going through the evening without support from medication. How does he get his homework done if he’s bouncing off walls?
I’d talk with the physican who prescribes his medication. When my own son was on medication, he took a smaller dose right after school to help him through the evening.
Good luck.
if he is responding well to medication one option would be to speak with his doctor about the possibility of adding a dose of a short-acting stimulant like regular Ritalin to help with the late afternoon/evening. With or without meds. though, you might look at what is expected of him. Does the daycare expect a few additional hours of controlled, rule-following behavior just like school? is the environment overstimulating with kids running wild? Ideally, he would have the opportunity to participate in plenty of physical activity outdoors. Some kids have success with individual sports like swimming with daily practices (it’s harder to drive the coach and teammates crazy when you are doing laps in your own assigned lane). How about martial arts? Perhaps a family child care provider with fewer children (but one or two his age) where he can ride bikes, go to the park…. Try adding more structure to the evenings-an active chore that he must do as soon as you arrive home, checklists of things that must be done before TV and set up a reward system for compliance. Of course none of this is easy when you are exhausted from working all day. Try to do things one step at a time and hopefully you’ll see enough progress to keep you going. it’s normal to feel like a “bad mom” when you’ve got such a challenging kid— but the danger in that is that you may start to believe it and just give up. He’s 9, the perfect time to get a handle on things well before the challenges of adolescence. What you do now will pay off then!