Angela’s post sparked the motivation fuse and here goes another view into the futuer :o
Yesterday our boy finished his last final exam and has completed all neccesary course work to get his AA in business! He actually made all “A’s” this last semester which is THE FIRST TIME EVER :shock:
Anyway, he still has intentions of taking courses next semester and completing the AA requirements for management or something like that.
He is working, going to school and pretty much in love with a young lady. Hmmmmm. While he’s got a ways to go and some more growing up to do, it looks like we’ve survived the traumas of schooling and now it’s “life” for continued education (so to speak).
It’s been so long, I can’t really believe we made it this far. Can’t remember how long I’ve been visiting this bb. :? I know it’s been a while since posting, but I check in periodically; work and life have been keeping me pretty occupied for the most part. :roll:
So if I can offer a few words of advice for those of you still in the trenches, take heart. Follow your conscience, and do what you need to to take care of your kids. Don’t worry, you’ll make mistakes, but you’ll also do good, so don’t beat yourselves up. Your kids need you to be strong, so don’t burn out. Take breaks, the problems with school will be there when you get back. Don’t fight about the school probelms with spouses or others in front of the child involved. Find other topics or subjects of interest and do not spend too much time focusing on the ld. There is more to your child than the ld, remember that. There are many of us who are adults with ld, and we do “survive out there” in the world. We learn to adapt to the environment, and ironically, the world is more accomodating than schools sometimes. Keep asking questions. Seek knowledge and support, it will be invaluable. Trust your instincts, listen to your gut. Document, document, document what is going on. Keep the records organized. Be vigilant. Perseverence is crucial, it really does win in the end (Ray Croc was right). Maintain your sense of humor. Do your best to not make the ld world your life, find some balance. I think I’m starting to ramble now :)
Anyway, best wishes to all for the holidays and the new year.
Andy
Re: it's been a while, time for an update
Bravo! I sit trying to hold back tears not only for my own children, but every child who has walked through my door as a paraeducator. Congratulations! Thank you for the encouragement when it that most of the time I am on a treadmill, running in place.
Thanks again for your encouraging words.
Happy Holidays!
Shel
Re: it's been a while, time for an update
Angela, our boy has always had more problems with writing than with reading. I think one thing we really tried to do tha worked was to slowly pull back from helping at every and any chance where he would show signs of trying to do stuff on his own. Even if it meant turning in a product that was not as “good looking” as we would have wished… most difficult was when he would not write out that which was his potential, but only that which was “just enough to get by”. After a while, most teachers were accepting of type written work, and those that insisted on the handwriting paid dearly with damage to their eyes I assume :lol:
With regards to the college level, first off, he marched himself into the learning disabilities center there and requested testing. After taking the tests, he was convinced he did so well that they were going to say he wasn’t ld. The irony is the results came back very consistent with early education testing (that was done OUTSIDE the local district’s grip). Really wasn’t that big a deal, they wrote up accomodations and encouraged him to make use of some special computer lab where he would always have access to computers on campus… no timed tests if requested BY HIM…
The self-advocacy thing really started to blossom around 12th grade and then following.
With taking courses, he would always go through and pick what he thought he should take and then the normal tussle back and forth between him and my wife would take place. As you well know, she knows him and can pretty accurately predict what would happen. Sometimes he would resist and fight back, then back off later, a couple times he would drop a course and then try again the next semester. AFter the first 2 semesters, he seemed to get the hang of the course load he could handle, spent more time figuring his strategy for free time between classes for last minute studying or homework that needed doing etc… He just LOVES the school, most of the classes and has accepted that there are classes he simply had to muscle thru to get to where he wanted to go. If he was taking a math class (very tough for him), he made sure the other class(es) that day were going to be ones that were easy for him (speech class, philosophy blah blah blah) and that is kind of how it happened at our house :) More than once there was the realization that he bit off more than he could chew, but he went back at it again the following semester.
He has been working part time, 30+/- hours per week. After the second time he dropped a class I instituted he pay for the classes and books and we’d reimburse him at the end of the semester as long as he passed with acceptable grades based on effort applied. This incentive program has been highly successful. Our deal has been as long as he’s in school and wants to live at home he handles his own bills (cell phone, car, etc…) but he can live rent free. This has allowed him to save a pretty tidy sum of $.
And as for you Shel, I can only tell you it feels like a treadmill, but you are moving forward, it’s just that the scenery is changing so slowly you don’t notice it until you look back :o so take heart, and cherrish all the moments as they happen!
Best regards.
Andy
Talk about good news!! It is wonderful that your son is doing so well. Your advice is so important and helpful as we get so caught up sometimes. How many classes did your son take at a time? How did he manage the reading? the writing? You can see I slip into panic mode about these college things. I am still having to read and write for my son, too much, but that is why I am again bugging his school and the public district. I keep saying, “I’m not going to college with you”. But you know, he stood there at the Department of Motor Vehicles, slowing reading his test, forgetting to look to see if there was a back to the test…and I watched from a distance knowing that pass or fail he would learn some lessons and it would all be OK. Which it was! Thanks for posting. It helps to know that other kids and adults are doing fine because they keep on finding the way they can get the job done. Happy holidays to you and yours.