Almost afraid to post here, but need support....

Welcome SuziC. I am fairly new to this site as well and also have been surprised by some of the things expressed here. I have decided after having a run in with somebody on this board that I will just no longer respond to bashing. I know others have done the same previously.

I totally understand what you are saying. You never know how other people are going to react and where your support is coming from. Please don’t let other people make you feel bad for the decision you and your family has made. I think each child/case is different and therefore warrants a different decision or treatment for each child. You know your child better than anybody else. Hang in there. You and anybody else going through this has my support whether they choose to medicate or not. If you had told me in September my daughter was ad/hd and would be on medication now I would not have believed it. It was not an easy choice but like you I can see it has made a world of difference in just a few weeks.

I am curious to know how your daughter’s other symptoms fall into place after she is on the meds for awhile. My daughter was never diagnosed dyslexic but had many of the symptoms. She is now on Concerta for ad/hd inattentive and is doing so much better! I am still amazed at how much her ad/hd has and had affected her academic achievement and at the difference now!

Suzi, I don’t blame you for feeling afraid to post here. If you want to know more about how parents cope with the medication decision and why they did it etc. go to http://millermom.proboards23.com

Most parents there have made the hard choice you have and understand what you are going through. They will be willing to share their experience with you and be supportive.

I am not going to go into my experiences with you here because I don’t want to get bash either.

Suzi, another good site to go to is www.schwablearning.org

Mama—

Thanks for the sites. It is ashame that things like this can’t be freely discussed here. Is this a support forum or a debate forum? Maybe there should be a board for debates and leave these as support.

Do you know if CHADD is worth joining? Someone recommended that site..just don’t know if it is worth the $45 to join.

Suzi

Jenm—

I’ll be very curious too to see if this helps her with school work. Thanks for your reply!

Suzi

My daughter is also ADHD inattentive. I’m sorry that you are hesitant to post regarding meds for fear of being bashed, but I’ll tell you, it comes with the territory, and actually it has been good for me. It has challenged me to do more research into ADHD and it’s treatment than I ever thought I would. We started my dd on meds pretty early after dx. However, multiple interventions had been in place for academics and behavioral interventions at home long before we had a dx. The difference meds made was, and still is amazing. I have ALWAYS questioned myself regarding medication, and I always will. I am green with envy anyone that has been able to manage their child’s ADHD without meds. It just isn’t happening with my dd. She has been very articulate over the years about what her ADHD is. It comprises many things for her, but it seems to always boil down to having a brain that is unable to filter and prioritze thoughts and stimulus to the point of her being unable to maintain focus, despite extrodinary effort, which results in a complete frustration overload and her feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope with events that her peers seem to. She doesn’t quiet get that her peers don’t have this same challenge. They don’t have to work at ignoring evry thought, sound, and visual stimulus that pulls her away from listening to and processing what her teachers have to say. Over the years I have looked a lot at research on meds. I have brought them to people I trust to help me interpret their significance (2 college courses on research hasn’t been enough for me to understand the statistical analysis thoroughly). When I read an article, I look for the research cited, and I try to look more towards current research, although, occassionally older research can be helpful. At this point in time, I am not so concerned about the long term negative effects of stim therapy that one hears about. I know that stims aren’t going to stunt my child’s growth, I know that her brain isn’t going to turn into much or develop holes, I know that her chances of becoming an addict or becoming a juvenille deliquent are less because she takes stims.
I asked about the side effects. I knew what to expect. May I suggest that you do a search on the meds and print out what you find. Bring them to your Dr and ask him/her about your concerns or voice your questions. It’s good to know which side effects are likely to occur, and understand the typical time span of them. If you find yourself in a situation like we did, with a persistent and significant side effect, you will be able to talk with your Dr about it. Also, it’s good to know if there are any side effects that if present need an immediate call to the Dr, or which side effects can wait till office hours, or the next appointment. I’d also suggest keeping track of your observations in a notebook, this way when the Dr asks that all important question of “How are things going”, you’ll be able to give specifics and not just a general response. Also, seek out as much input from your child as you can. Just recently I thought we would be decreasing or stopping my dd’s meds, but as we sat in the Dr’s office it became appearant that I was wrong. As the Dr asked her about the meds and how she was feeling, it was clear that when she said “it’s like I’m not taking anything” it didn’t mean that she was doing well and didn’t need meds, with more questions she voiced a lot that made it clear that she was really struggling, just hiding it well. I’ll always be uneasy that my dd needs meds, just as it bothers me that another child needs daily meds for allergies to prevent continuous sinus infections. But I am comfortable that I am doing the right thing for her. And I keep my ears and eyes open for new and progressive information and research on ADHD and it’s treatment.

[quote=”SuziC”]Mama—

Thanks for the sites. It is ashame that things like this can’t be freely discussed here. Is this a support forum or a debate forum? Maybe there should be a board for debates and leave these as support.

Do you know if CHADD is worth joining? Someone recommended that site..just don’t know if it is worth the $45 to join.

Suzi[/quote]

Whether to join CHADD or not really depends on what you want to get out of it. I have not joined CHADD, and have managed to get info and support from the sites I mentioned to you plus other places to do my research. A friend of mine has joined CHADD and gets alot of info from there too.

People including children come in all different kinds of attention spans and in the ideal world each person would find their way to the job that best suits their length of attention span and focus. People with trouble focusing in - like me sometimes - might work well in settings with lots of noise and confusion as I have no trouble tuning out the noise and confusion. I can only focus on what’s in front of me - not what’s around me.

But school sadly is not the ideal world. School is a fairly regimented place with fairly standard expections. Schools expects a class of 20+ children to pretty much be like each other and conform to a common standard. Teachers simply do not have time, room, or training to teach each child as the individual they are. Teachers are expected to move a fairly large group of children along in their learning.

So in part what teachers judge children on is the ability to conform to the expected group model of a child who sits still and follows complicated directions as quickly as they are given out. Some children come to us naturally inclined to sit still and follow directions. Others hear the beat of their own drummer. Still others hear the beat of several different drummers all drumming at once…

Modern education doesn’t really allow for children to be the individuals they are. We live fast-paced lives these days and school is a fast-paced place that does not slow up - or speed up- for any individual child. Many teachers mistakenly see the child who cannot or does not conform to the standard expectations as a problem. Rarely do teachers see the expectations as the problem.

School is rather like an old assembly line in a factory. It doesn’t turn out cars - it tries to turn out compliant children who do worksheets when told to, who listen rather than talk, who keep their hands to themselves, who remember to bring their books and open them to the right page etc. etc.

What do we do when our children cannot conform to that model and to those expectations? Some few of us find a different kind of school. Many of us just live in fear and frustration of what most traditional schools will bring to our child each day. Will they again be the brunt of the teacher’s frustration when they need directions repeated or they fidget in their chair too much? Will a teacher smile at their restless antics or scream at them?
And will our child be able to maintain a positive sense of self when they cannot keep up with the pace or bear up under the frustrated screaming?

Medicating a child is a very difficult decision that is only a parent’s to make. I never wanted my son to be the one singled out by teachers of whom too much was already asked in classrooms of 25+ students. My son was withering under the barrage of teacher criticism.

In the ideal world perhaps I would have made a different decision but sadly I found - at least round here - our world was far from ideal.

Good luck. I think CHADD is worth the $45 - you might find that it’s not and then don’t renew in the year to come - but I think it’s worth the $45 to find out.

I find myself a bit insulated from the typical board criticism(IF I bother to read it) because ADD inattentive DOESNT have the behavior end with it. Disruptive behavior seems to be what the naysayers focus in on with their poor parenting spiels. They don’t seem to acknowledge my daydreamy son’s diagnosis, which is fine with me!!!!

OTOH I feel perhaps more guilty medicating because his problem is so subtle. I rarely tell people he is ADD(without the behavior it isnt a huge issue in soccer,etc) and if I do, I always seem to bend over backwards explaining the ‘inattentive’ part. This is not because I dont want my child associated with THOSE kids, but because the general public has this wild, cant sit still, mouthy picture of adhd in their minds, and when they look at my quiet, withdrawn child, I am suddenly a horrible mom because I put him on meds when he OBVIOUSLY doesnt have ADHD

So, yeah, there are some advantages to using the board to develop a thicker skin and strategies to deal with negative comments because your school is a pretty special environment-not everyone will be as supportive and you do have to get used to it!!!!

I felt Adderallxr helped my son’s school work. This especially showed in achievement testing. He usually did well on page one of any test or worksheet and then fell apart by page two even if it was the same concepts. Achievement testing, lengthy as it is, was a washout. He went from scores in the 10-20th % to scores in the 40-50th on the Adderall.That was a huge leap and we were thrilled

Of course, he still has learning issues(dyslexia? possibly) I know 40-50th% isn’t bad-someone has to be dead average, right? But he had many holes in his knowledge and had developed multiple compensating ‘strategies’ that showed absolutely no understanding of the material and were catching up to him as he entered middle school

We are homeschooling this year and the one on one helps with distraction. I initially took him off meds, but I saw that look in his eyes way too many times. I knew that homeschooling was best for him and I was far more likely to quit if I had to constantly battle for his attention. Some may call me lazy, but perhaps I am just realistic about my own limitations?

So he is back on meds and we are using Strattera. I had hoped it would lessen the low appetite probs we had with Adderall but it is identical in that respect(for my child). But it is sure nice calling in prescription refills instead of dealing with all the legalities of a stim. Also, you CANNOT give your kid a vacation off Strattera-no weekend holidays, summer vacations, etc. Taking that decision out of the running has actually been a blessing for me-one less thing to obsess about ;)

Good luck-I have no experience with Chadd but agree $45 is a reasonable trial price

marycas, my son is ADD/Inattentive also - no behavior problems. So I feel exactly like you. Medication has been a blessing for him, he was way behind academically until we figured out what was wrong. He was not able to learn because he was not able to focus. He says there are too many noises in his head, and he is thinking of too many things. He is on Strattera and is doing well. He could not read last June, and I had been working with him at home (after school) for two years on it. I felt something was wrong, which is why we had him evaluated by the school and later by a Neuro Pyschologist. The dx was ADD/Inattentive without any LDs. So we started on medication and remediation again over this summer. In two months his reading level went from non-existent to 3rd grade level ( he is only in 2nd grade). His self-esteem is better and he is able to do alot of things he couldn’t before. The frustration on his inability to read etc before was intense because he tested high average and possibly gifted in IQ (Psych thinks IQ was surpressed because of ADD). We tried Adderall XR and concerta and had appetite and sleep issues. Strattera has been the best for him so far. He did not increase his weight when he started Strattera, neither did he lose. But after about 3 months, his appetite started to pick up. So I guess what I am saying in a long winded way is, your son’s appetite problems might get better in a few months. Another friend’s child’s appetite picked up around the 3 to 4 months mark too. Good Luck.

SuziC-
I read your post with great interest, and I hope you will keep us posted.

My dyslexic , inattentive (but not dx) son is 9 and just started this year at a special school for dyslexic children. The teacher also has told us that even in his reading group of 6 children she needs to redirect him due to his spaciness. We wonder how many of his issues would be helped by medication, but haven’t tried it because of other issues. (our psychiatrist felt my son’s anxiety would be exacerbated by stimulant meds, and he also recently had some tics which some feel is also a reason to avoid meds)

My fear is that some day we will medicate him and wish we had done it sooner!

I am very interested about how things work out, and how the meds help her progress in reading.

Its not an easy decision, and you can’t let anyone tell you what to do!!

[quote=”KarenN”]SuziC-
I read your post with great interest, and I hope you will keep us posted.

My dyslexic , inattentive (but not dx) son is 9 and just started this year at a special school for dyslexic children. The teacher also has told us that even in his reading group of 6 children she needs to redirect him due to his spaciness. We wonder how many of his issues would be helped by medication, but haven’t tried it because of other issues. (our psychiatrist felt my son’s anxiety would be exacerbated by stimulant meds, and he also recently had some tics which some feel is also a reason to avoid meds)

My fear is that some day we will medicate him and wish we had done it sooner!

I am very interested about how things work out, and how the meds help her progress in reading.

Its not an easy decision, and you can’t let anyone tell you what to do!![/quote]

Karen, talk to the doctors about Strattera. It is a non-stimulant, and has Anti-D qualities which might help his anxiety. Also it has helped some kids who have tics. If you want to find out more info on Strattera, go to http://millermom.proboards23.com lots of kids on Strattera there.
Contrary to what has been posted on this board, that site is not sponsored by any pharmaceutical company. In fact, the old board, ADHD.com where all the members moved from was sold to Ely Lilly. That is why we started our own board.

SuziC, I am ‘just’ another mom…of a dyslexic artistic type, whom I believe is not ‘ADD’ but certainly is a daydreamer and does NOT enjoy math. Some teachers and some ADD-moms I know are always subtly pushing meds for him, which can be as frustrating as the opposite! I believe that my ‘type of kid’ is the type most often mis-dx’d, and for HIM, I am anti-meds. Would meds possibly help him?? Maybe. But it is MY CHOICE to decide that I’d rather have C’s with no meds, than possible B’s with meds — a choice made entirely for MY KID, who is a complex bundle of attributes, similar to some but identical to NOBODY else’s. Since he (and I) will pay the price of errors, I decided long ago that we would suffer MY ERRORS — I’m his mama, and that is the price I pay!

BUT…just cuz that is my decision does not mean your decision is not perfectly correct and the best thing to do in YOUR daughter’s case — I have to agree with you. If my guy was struggling in that environment, I would likely be doing just as you are.

But please TRY to forgive yourself — be the best parent you can, and that includes being allowed to be (possibly, from the future position of 20/20 hindsight) wrong, without feeling like a ‘bad’ parent. You have (I know, I’ve read your posts for some time) spent much time and effort and tears and heart’s blood (that’s the tears in the wee hours, when you just don’t know what to do!) trying to find the best path for this kiddo. AND YOU HAVE CHOSEN. Now, just tell yourself how LUCKY she is to have YOU on her side…cuz she is! ANd truthfully, I don’t see how you can avoid a good trial of meds — my kid is HAPPY with what we’ve chosen, and in general, so are his teachers. He is not the object of teacher anger, he is doing just fine. He has no siblings, and so we have a smooth home life, other than when I need to do a homework tantrum…just a little one! If meds help your babe to be the same — THAT will be your vindication! If it IS working — great — but if it’s NOT — you have the right to attempt to get your child the best life she can have, whatever it takes!

I highly recommend the 45.00 for CHADD also — I know one of the counsellors thru a dyslexia site and if she is any indication of the quality, it is well worth it. I also note that the CHADD site, as well as many of the posters on LD ONLINE, supported my ‘no-meds’ decision for my son — just as the sensible folk will support your PRO meds decisiion for your daughter. Anyone who says otherwise should simply be ignored!

Bashers should always be ignored. Nobody can ruin this site unless the ‘real people’ let them — other, more specific sites are great but sometimes it is good to participate on a ‘general’ site to prevent getting too ‘blindered’ to alternatives, and if we want the best for our kids we want EVERY option there is, don’t we?! Initially, I felt LDONLINE was too ‘pro-meds’, but after a couple of years I realized that the diversity was a strength for me and for my child — it may be for you also. If/When the Ball bounces, just laugh! with a hint of sympathy…

I’m so glad so many real folk joined this thread…good luck to you! Please post updates about your daughter — if good, we’ll rejoice with you, if not so good, we’ll help you find a way to get it ‘good’! I hope this is the last puzzle piece you’re needing…

SuziC,

You didn’t mention any names but I suspect you may have been referring to me when you stated that you were afraid to post due to some posters “bashing” parents who had chosen to medicate. If you were referring to me, I feel that you have done me an injustice.

On this board, the administraors have decided that when they feel that a thread has become a bashing ground, they terminate the thread. Fortunately, they leave all previous posts intact. If you were perhaps referring to my posts, I’d appreciate you quoting the passages that you felt were indicative of “bashing a parent for opting for medication”.

I am confident that you will not be able to do so, as I have never been guilty of that. Please bear in mind that we all are entitled to post our GENERAL opinions on any facet of “ADHD” symptoms and their treatments. All GENERAL aspects of this issue may be freely “bashed” without individuals taking personal insult. That’s freedom of speech: not always what you want to hear but a right we possess. You’ll be searching my posts for instances of an INDIVIDUAL being bashed FOR MEDICATING THEIR OWN CHILD.

I fully believe that JenM’s reply to you, DID refer directly to me. Again, I never bashed JenM for “being a bad parent” or for medicating. I am sure though, that JenM did take offence at my pointing out her obvious error as regards her contention that her daughter’s “dyslexia” was cured by “ADHD”-type medications. That’s not bashing. If you post innaccurate and thoughtless statements you may be taken to task over them.

I am against the use of Schedule II controlled drugs being administered to developing brains. I am 100% in favour of your right to post whatever you want here or anywhere they’ll let you. That’s not to say though, that I will either accept your statements or let them go unchallenged.

I do though, take exception to your first post attempting to dictate the terms of this ‘message board”. It’s not a support board, as it is neither a debate board. And it is, gladly, not open to suggestions from individuals as to who or who should not post, or be permitted to post. Really, have you taken a good look at the censorship you propose in your first “trembling hand” offering?

So again. I am free to post and you are free to post. And I am free to respond to inaccuracies and what I feel to be posts that attempt to persuade the gullible into what I see as the easy way out to a non-solution.

If you want a support board, there is one available at the earlier given URL for the millermom site. There you will find a “safe haven for those who have decided to medicate”. I assure you that no post that runs contrary to their dedicated drug-push will long survive. What you will find there is plenty of support, if by support you mean like-minded individuals who don’t want to know anything about the dangers of or alternatives to drugging a child (Groupthink). You will be able to blissfully drug away the blues and receive unqualified medical advice from the self-proclaimed “people who wrote the book on medication with Strattera”. Personally, I’d find that kind of one-sidedness disconcerting but it is another of your rights to read only whatever you choose.

Regarding your quality of applied parenthood, I am unqualified to comment. Neither do I have enough anecdotal evidence to go on in order to even form an opinion. That question may only be answered by you. However, if you are truely interested in the answer to that question, do you suppose you should be tasting the sometimes bitter pills on this board or allowing yourself to be “supported” by the feelgood moms on the other?

It’s been my experience that 99% of parents are involved in guesswork parenting, 99% of the time, so, in all probability you’re NOT a good parent (I mean, where did you receive your training and from whom) as I am probably not. That doesn’t mean you can’t make a few good decisions though.

One final word. I am a man and I suspect from your handle that you are a woman. The two sexes generally express themselves in different ways. You may want just to be listened to, while I am a goal-oriented person seeking the truth of the matter. Both are fine as long as the “support” seeking does nort interfere with the truth.

Your first post has just been bashed. Can you see the difference?

Brian,

FYI, freedom of speech is a right guaranteed by the Constitution but it has no application to private conversations. The first amendment protects ONLY against government infringement of speech, religion or association. Private people ARE NOT free to say whatever they want. LD Online is not a government organization. They may set whatever standards they wish with respect to the contents of posts. I think they have been remarkably (and unwisely) tolerant of your tirades. A great problem of the internet is that there is no accountability for what you say. This encourages the unscrupulous or the impulsive to post things they would never dare to say to a person face to face. I’m not sure which category you fall in.

Brian,
I am unfamiliar with the history of threads you refer to, but since you were not mentioned by name, nor were veiled references made about a specific person - you are anyone else , I find your post completely necessary.

You are , of course, entitled to your opinion, but you don’ t need to come into thisvery lovely, supportive and informative thread and proclaim your right in such an aggressive manner.

Suzi,

Just ignore Brian. Don’t even bother to respond. Some people need to make waves to get attention. This thread had nothing to do with him, so lets just ignore him.

Guest,

Perhaps you’d like to get an atlas out and discover that the US is NOT the only country in the world. I don’t give a hoot for your limited-area constitution and the fake moral high ground it insinuates.

I was referring to my universal right to freedom of expression which, like any right or privilege, I accept comes with built in responsibilities. I never said that I was “free to say whatever I wanted”. Again, a twist by you. What I do know, however, is that all of my posts on the boards of this site are still extant. That gives me confidence to declare that I have obviously broken no rules here. Your private opinion, notwithstanding. FYI, I believe the freedom of expression rules boil down to “you may say whatever you want as long as it’s not libellous”. Please point out where I have libelled anyone.

KarenN,

Why join the chorus of censorship? Why attempt to dictate where and under what conditions I may post here? Have I ever directed you where you may post? Please then, grant me an equal measure of respect. Also, if SuziC and/or JenM weren’t referring to me or any of my posts, they may so state and I will apologise to either or both for having entertained that suspicion.

Brian you said to me :
” Why join the chorus of censorship? Why attempt to dictate where and under what conditions I may post here? Have I ever directed you where you may post? Please then, grant me an equal measure of respect. Also, if SuziC and/or JenM weren’t referring to me or any of my posts, they may so state and I will apologise to either or both for having entertained that suspicion.”

I’m not trying to censor you, or anyone else. But just because you CAN say something doesn’t mean you should. There is a difference between censorship and asking someone to have good manners. Part of being a grown up means regulating your own behavior, IMO.

Just because a person has the right express an opinion doesn’t mean they should feel compelled to express it with no regard for the audience or the venue. I could walk around town telling everyone what I think of their shoes, or I could keep my opinion to myself.

I think of these threads as groups of people standing around chatting in the bar of a restaurant. If you hear a conversation that ‘s interesting you might want to join in. But its poor manners to walk up and start speaking about yourself in a loud voice.

…those of us who find such people RUDE, to smile and gently move further down the bar, where we can continue our conversation! Each person must earn the right to participate in group activities — if a person does not wish to play by the rules established by the group, they are free to leave. Otherwise, should such persons continue to be obnoxious, others in the group should simply ignore them — politely, of course!

I really feel that this board IS for support — that is what it has been to me. And I HOPE it has been so to SuziC, who started this thread by SAYING she was looking for support. So, even if the purpose of the board was not (partially) for support — this is what she ASKED FOR. And, if you check with LDONLINE, I am sure they will verify that this is an appropriate use of the boards.

Perhaps those who don’t wish to use the board to provide/receive support should ignore threads that mention support?

MY MOTHER (may she rest in peace!) always said: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!”

Now, THAT is advice from a true ‘uber-parent’…!

Back to the original conversation…

I too have a CAPD and inattentive child. Like Elizabeth, I have not medicated because I am not totally convinced it is ADD, even though a neurologist diagnosed him. It is difficult when you clearly have processing issues going on also. Like Karen, I wonder if I someday I will change my mind and wish I had done it earlier. I too am interested in what affect meds have on her learning to read.

I just wanted to say that when you have a complicated kid, it is hard to know what is the right thing to do. We all do the best we can and hindsight is always more 20/20. You have her in a special school—they noticed her inattentive behavior. My son’s teacher told me he wasn’t paying attention but when I broached medication she told me he wasn’t severe enough for that. Is he not reallly or is it that my well behaved child doesn’t look like ADHD? I think that is the advantage you have.

I think also if you are really uncomfortable you can think of meds as a temporary solution that you will revisit. It may be as her academic skills improve, her attention will too. As a therapist told me, none of us pay attention optimally when it is difficult. You also could, as she gets a bit older, investigate alternatives like Interactive Metronome. You really need to be about 9 to do it, I think. My son’s attention improved remarkably from doing it, but he has some motor based issues. I don’t know if your daughter has the same profile.

Beth

[quote=”Elizabeth TO”]…those of us who find such people RUDE, to smile and gently move further down the bar, where we can continue our conversation! Each person must earn the right to participate in group activities — if a person does not wish to play by the rules established by the group, they are free to leave. Otherwise, should such persons continue to be obnoxious, others in the group should simply ignore them — politely, of course!

I really feel that this board IS for support — that is what it has been to me. And I HOPE it has been so to SuziC, who started this thread by SAYING she was looking for support. So, even if the purpose of the board was not (partially) for support — this is what she ASKED FOR. And, if you check with LDONLINE, I am sure they will verify that this is an appropriate use of the boards.

Perhaps those who don’t wish to use the board to provide/receive support should ignore threads that mention support?

MY MOTHER (may she rest in peace!) always said: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!”

Now, THAT is advice from a true ‘uber-parent’…![/quote]

Sometimes things need to be said that are not nice. Sometimes the truth can be very ugly but that doesn’t mean we should ignore it.

Supporting somone in wrong things just because it make them feel better is the same as lying to them.

[quote=”Anonymous”][

Sometimes things need to be said that are not nice. Sometimes the truth can be very ugly but that doesn’t mean we should ignore it.

Supporting somone in wrong things just because it make them feel better is the same as lying to them.[/quote]

In addition, refraining from speaking harshly to a person who has crossed the line over into attacks and abusive, divisive commentary, or chastising those who do speak harshly in response to another’s inappropriate post, could operate as tacit approval of the abuser and his comments. From reading your posts, I am sure most of you would never condone the truly terrible things posted by Brian of Mexico city and his alter egos. Perhaps ignoring him will eventually extinguish his bad conduct, but some things are too cruel to go without comment.

Brian-

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