Why can't the school district be helpful?

No luck finding an advocate?

my advice for the meeting:

bring a tape recorder. put it on the table.

Get your self a mantra that you say whenever they try to convince you he should be removed from the gifted program, something along the lines of : He is capable of doing the work, he needs to be in a challenging environment.

If they insist the program isn’t right for him, ask for his placement to be remain as is until achievement testing can be performed.

If they say it isn’t a matter of him not being able to learn the material, but an issue of him not being able to handle the workload, then say if there are any difficulties with his performance, then they are directly related to his disability, and that to exclude him from a program he qualifies for, because of his disability is discrimination.

DONT SIGN ANYTHING (except the attendence sheet if needed)
If they try to get you to sign, say you will review it at home and bring it back the next day. Even if you think it went ok and everything is going to be ok, DONT SIGN until you go home, take a nap or a bath or something and then carefully read it again. And listen to the tape.

Hope this helps a little. I am scared for you. These meetings are so overwhelming, having to go up against a whole room full of professionals.

Molly

Nope, no luck finding an advocate as far as a professional person with experience in ADHD and/or gifted kids.

My dad tends to be more level-headed than me and, although ADHD wasn’t accepted as a disability in the minds of educators around here for most of the time he was teaching, he has learned a lot about it in the last few years. So having him there, Mr. Level-Headed-Yet-Fights-For-Grandson, should be helpful.

I’ll definitely tape the meeting.

The idea that he lacks the maturity to be in this program floors me, especially after observing other boys in the program. They’re not in control of themselves, they act silly, some are bullies, others are like little kids stuck in the bodies of Einsteins. The group had a big field trip to the state capital a few days ago, and my parents (and a few other moms) went with them. My parents didn’t ride in the buses, though. They kind of held back and observed. The were appalled at the behavior of some of these boys, yet mine is the one getting called on the carpet.

What kind of testing does everyone keep referring to? My son had an IQ test a few years ago and, with a score of 159, qualified for gifted ed in this district. And he has an ADHD diagnosis, after seeing his pediatrician and being referred to a pediatric neurologist and a psychiatrist. Then, of course, we’ve had several of those evaluations that the psychologist sends over to his teachers and they fill out giving their opinion of how he’s acting in class. We’ve had those seeral times.

Are there more tests they’re expecting us to take?

I re-read your previous posts. You said the school does give annual standardized achievement test and that he has done well on those. Do you have copies of his scores? Bring them with you. Hard scores of tests they administered are harder for them to refute.

So the way I am reading the situation:

He was IQ tested as qualified for the program.
His annual achievement tests show he is performing above grade level.
His first semester grades were good.
He has recently had an death in the family which has had an effect on him (is the school aware of this?)
And this semester his grades and work habits are slipping.

You should be aware that ADHD is only a qualifying disability if it results in a substantial effect on his education. The key to this is “executive function” problems, ie getting his work done and turned in on time, organizational skills etc. and behaviors that are distruptive to the learning process.

I would try and keep them focused on the organizational aspects as being a result of the ADHD. And that before his grandmothers (?) death, he was doing well.

Will he have seen his psychologist before Friday? Play this up to the school as well. Yes, you are concerned about the changes in him this winter, yes you are seeking outside help, but the bottom line is he belongs in this program and this is a temporary setback for him. Reassure them that you will be working with him on the organizational issues and that you are sure that with their help this will all be much better by the time the next semester starts.

How is he doing? It will really help your cause if he is a model student this week, so that the teachers don’t have fresh material to bombard you with. I know you said he wants to stay in the program. Is he aware of this meeting and what is at stake? I don’t think you should put a lot of pressure on him, but perhaps just a gentle talk about how hard you are trying to work things out with the school and some concrete examples of things he could do to help the situation.

I really wish you the best in this.

Molly

You ask why they can’t help. Please keep in mind that you are dealing with educators. These people can screw up a one man parade.

In the meantime keep your eye on the prize and while doing so keep in mind that the school will probably more of a hinderance to your boy’s education than a help.

Being that you and the boy’s grandaddy have more smarts and experience than the bozos you will be dealing with, you should design your own IEP and you will need to enforce it. Even at that, don’t expect much.

Please read the Truth About Teachers thread. You’ll see what I mean.

Look at the whole thing from a consumer’s advocate point of view. Being that the entire process is confusing you need to realize that it is confusing for a reason. The reason it is unclear is to confuse and give the school an out when they screw up.

Uh-oh! I’m not on my home computer and the system won’t seem to let me sign in as myself, but this is “him8nc” the mom that originally started this thread.

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, he will have seen the psychologist by the time we have this big meeting. We’re going this afternoon to see a new psychologist because the previous one didn’t click with him. She would go into this high-pitched baby voice and talk to him like he was illiterate, so he just looked at her in amazement, like he was thinking, “What’s wrong with you? I don’t have time for this nonsense.” So she thought he was non-responsive and lacked emotion. But what really made me mad (and we quit seeing her) was during the last visit with her, right in front of him, she says, “Have you ever thought that he might have Aspergers Syndrome?”

Of course, I had no idea what it was. And the more I have read about it, the more I belive he does NOT have it.

But what made me mad was she listed all the symptoms of it and talked about him in a negative way right there in front of him.

It’s hard enough to filter this info and give it to him in a way that won’t (hopefully) damage his self-esteem, then here she is pretty much saying, “There’s already something wrong with you, and I think there’s even MORE wrong with you.”

He was quite upset when we left that meeting.

You were correct in the post that listed what’s going on in his life in a nutshell, as far as he has tested above grade level on achievement tests, good grades last semester, death in the family, temporary setback, etc.

We do have HUGE organizational problems and he has trouble getting this finished and turned in on time. HUGE problems.

As far as disruptive behavior in the classroom, no problem there. If anything, he is the other end of the spectrum. He is usually too shy to speak up.

quote: You were correct in the post that listed what’s going on in his life in a nutshell, as far as he has tested above grade level on achievement tests, good grades last semester, death in the family, temporary setback, etc.

I would then print that out take it with you and use it as your mantra. To everything they throw at you state one of those facts.

Smiles

Molly

HIS IQ TESTED AT 159 AND THESE TEACHERS IN A GIFTED PROGRAM THINK HE BELONGS IN REG ED????

Disgusting! Sorry, HIM8NC,(sp — sorry, poor memory!) I just had to comment. All the others have given great advice — your child belongs in that program, and if they can’t cut him some slack I smell ‘THOSE kids don’t belong here’. You can stand up against that. People are people, and it wouldn’t be the first time a certain kid got locked into a ‘role’ and became the scapegoat for things that everyone else also does, but he is the only one who gets NOTICED! We all have to learn to handle bullies, and you and Grampa sound like just the team to handle these polite, professional BULLIES.

Remember that their first tactic is always to be aggressive and HOPE you will just go away. When you and Grampa remain cool, calm, and INDEFATIGABLE, it is quite likely their tune will change.

Definitely change the psych — he needs one with an IQ at LEAST close to his. I can just imagine the look on his face! LOL…maybe you should ASK the next psych for WISC scores!

Write out a couple of ‘mantras’ to keep meeting focused, since they will TRY to derail you with every resource at their disposal. You’ve had some good suggestions — here’s my 2 cents:

Overall Mantra: 1) He belongs in this program. (as evidenced by his test scores) If his disability/recent bereavement is interfering with his ability to organize his time and handle the workload, it is our job to help him. What can we do to support you and help our son through this difficult time?

Bad-response Mantra: 2)Are you saying that you are not prepared to accomodate his disability and provide an appropriate education for a child whose test scores prove he belongs in this program?

You hope not to use #2 and if you APPEAR to understand FAPE, you probably will not need to. Go to wrightslaw.com! (sorry if you have already — read this thread at break and then came back now to post, no time to read again!)

Best wishes — Reg Ed is abusive for a kid with IQ 159!!!!

IN total agreement with the idea not to sign anything-take it home, read it carefully, and, if you decide to sign it, be sure you’ve taken at least 24 hours to relax and process

You dont get bullied into anything and they will respect you for your calm demeanor

I love the mantra idea too-perfect!

OTOH the issue does need to be addressed because it sure isnt going to get better

I just returned from a conference with my 16 yr olds German teacher-he is NOT LD or ADD but he is 16 and gifted. Tests and quizzes are all As but homework isnt being turned in and his oral participation leaves much to be desired

Part of me feels like-he gets it-you admit he gets it-you say he is incredibly bright so who cares about the occasional homework assignment, but it matters to 99% of the teachers out there. It isnt going to go away.

So fight to keep him in this program but realize you have a serious issue on your hands as well.

Frankly, I think times have changed across the board

I am taking a Spanish class at the junior college. Its all about attendance and assignments and participation grades. You miss for work and you have to have an excuse from employer. You attend a funeral and you better show up with a death certificate

When I was in college back in the 70s, no one cared if you showed up. If you comprehended the material, you could show up for the midterm and final for all they cared

On the one hand, this makes it possible for more people to attain degrees through effort and hard work(maybe theres hope for my LD, ADD youngest)

On the other hand, I dont think college should be about hoop jumping and its been a real wake up call about how different things are nowadays(as opposed to the dinosaur ages ;))

School administrators have a reponsibility to both the tax-payers and the children. That is a conflict of interest. Also there are limited funds that many families are competing for (NOT our problem.) The 504 is legally binding so the school accepts more liability when a child has a 504. These are the reasons why schools are not cooperative.

My youngest has an Preschool IEP for her Rheumatoid Arthritis. Every meeting is a polite battle. I kill them with kindness and I have a hired advocate that I found on wrightslaw.com

I have considerable experience with the issue of special education. I have this to say about the only way to get a free public education for your child If possible hire the best educational attorney in your area and be prepaired to FIGHT for the services that your tax dollars are paying for. And visit www.reedmartin.com

I’m still learning how to keep the district in line, this next IEP will be the fifth, thanks to a experienced hard as nails attorney the district has met their match and the special education
services are now in place, at least until the next IEP.