My daughter is in 5 grade going into 6th grade. She is Ld and have a servere lanuage disorder every since she was little. See everyone (including the teachers)has a misrespresent of my daughter. She is so loving and would make someone a very good friend. (I’m almost about to cry)
The reason I’m writing is she came home today from school and said she had a bad day. She said I was at recess and two
other Ld students who she wanted to play with told her to “Bug off” and the other said “Quit follow me around” she said she started to cry. She has one good friend only she pays attention
to her when no other friends are no where in sight. She has problem with jump rope and is not very coordinate.
I talk to her Ld teacher about these girls and she said they are so helpful in the classroom and likes to be around her,when it comes
to recess she always alone and walks around by herself.When she
inside recess she O.K.
She never gets invited to birithday party while she hears it from other student at school.
Is the world so bad we can’t accept kids who are different. It’s just not right. This has been and on going problem for my child and the principal is no help.
She comes home almost daily crying because no will pay attention to her.
I’m getting close to home school her, but the Ld teacher said it’s harder in higher grades to home school her because of her Ld. Is this true??
I’m sorry this is so long, but as a very concern mother and I’m running out of idea to handle this. She also see my younger daughter who has no problem with friends. She always says” why does she get invite to things such as sleepover and I don’t”
PLEASE ANY ADVISE WOULD HELP. I just don’t know what to do any more. :(
Re: desperately needing help for my no friends daughter
I think 5th grade is the year the real nastiness begins. Both my older boys had major incidents in that grade. It can continue through junior high.
It sucks!!! But be assured it effects many, many kids. My older two are NOT LD. My third and LD son actually was not bullied at all in 5th-go figure!
Make sure she is looking for other loners. I think this is a common mistake. The popular kids are NOT going to be friends with anyone but the other popular kids. They may be pleasant and courteous in the classroom(or not) but thats a long way from ‘best friend’
This is hard for kids to get and for parents to accept. Heck, my kid is good enough to hang with that girl/boy-right???
Sure, but dont bang your head against the wall. The children your child is most likely to fit in with are NOT going to be your first choices for her. They may overweight, low income, speech impaired, loud, shy, etc.
So what? They ARE out there. I guarantee your dd is NOT the only kid alone on that playground.She needs to find the other alone kids and make friends.
Ask the playground supervisor(probably NOT the teacher)who else is being ostracized and invite her/him over after school
When my youngest was in 1st, I was an aide in a neighboring classroom that overlooked the playground. My son was out there alone every day;having to actually see it broke my heart.
I ran into a mom at soccer whose son was in the same class and having the same problem;we each told our sons to look for each other the next day
Those two spent the next two months together :D They were less aggressive than the other boys and often spent the entire recess digging through the mulch for crickets and chatting. It was a joy to watch!
After 2 months, something unexpected happened. The other boy started joining in on some of the group playground games. After a few days, so did my son.
I felt that the one on one time those two spent together gave them the foundation to socialize with other kids
BTW that little boy was being recommended for an eval for autism(I knew through school gossip) I didnt let it deter me, and, after seeing BOTH of those boys blossom, I hope the teachers eventually put that thought out of their minds
Re: desperately needing help for my no friends daughter
Is there any way to get her into a social skills group - I know some schools offer them, and I’ve heard that my board of ed. has social skills groups for LD kids ….
I’m just thinking that it would give her a group she could belong to, and a chance to practice those skills so hopefully her success could continue outside of the group.
Friends
Guest,
Having your child friendless is one of the most heartbreaking things to go through. My ds went through sixth grade with one good friend who left in seventh. One of the boys in his class actually said in his presence that he would bet $20 that my ds wouldn’t make any friends that year. I don’t think anyone took him up on it, but the boy would have won. My son is in eighth now and I am a room mother for his class so I have a chance to observe during various class celebrations. I have yet to see anyone actually talk to him. He looks so lost hanging out at the fringes of clusters of kids. Luckily, most of the kids are not outright mean so his presence at the fringes is tolerated. Each year he is invited to only one party given by a boy who routinely invites the whole class. I am alternately hopeful and despairing about what will happen to him in high school.
The one highlight of his social life, besides his one friend, has been his two weeks at away summer camp (all boys). He has, in his words, the time of his life. He has (now mild) language LD and his expressive language really improves after each stay. If I were in his position, I would not be able to get up every day and go to school. Perhaps it is the confidence of his social experiences at camp that have allowed him to not totally crumble at his social isolation in school. Thus, in addition to all the good advice posted above, I would suggest sending your daughter to a carefully screened away camp. The Girl Scouts offer reasonably priced camps for members.
Re: desperately needing help for my no friends daughter
This is my first time on this website so I hope that I am doing this right…
I had to reply to you..
I have the same problem with my son. He is in the 7th grade and the nicest kid. He has problems making friends and I can count in both hands the number of parties and sleep-overs that he has been invited to in his life. He asks to have birthday parties but he never has anyone to invite. Socialization with his peers is becoming more important now that he is in Middle School. He comes home everyday upset, saying that the kids think that they are better than he is. He has always hated school. Kids can be mean. It is just so sad. I know your fustration.
What I have done in the past is encourage him to join groups, clubs, that can help him establish friends and encourage positive interactions with his peers. We can’t make anyone be their friends, but we can help. LD children, due to their disability, lack social skills and there are very few children that are acceptable to this. Allow her to do things that she is good at or enjoys so that she can feel good about herself. I guess there is no easy answer. Good luck!
Lisa
I wish I had an easy answer for you. I don’t, but I will encourage you to keep looking and helping and thinking of ways to help your child. Find things she is good at and encourage those activities; a small girl scout group, an art class… Recess is such a hard time. Can you help her start a little club or group in a classroom or library? May be a board game her age enjoys. My son is older now, but to help him get settled and meet people at his new high school he started a movie club. The school has supported him in doing so and three years later he still shows a movie the guys will like several days a week during lunch. I read an article about a middle school boy who started a lunch club (chess, board games) for kids like himself who had trouble making friends. His school, of course, helped him. I hope your school will help you to help your child!