Making sense of getting school involved

Any way you could talk to another parent or two? Hard to get a truly objective perspective but it could give you some information. There could be many reasons why they’ve got that attitude — such as a long history of ot providing services kids need, or parents who have demanded the sky from them, and anything in between.
You might just think of them as teenagers who are being defensive… build a relationship with them. Can you volunteer at the school (or just bring baked goods or three boxes of tissues)?

They probably don’t want to do anything…yet. They want to wait and see if things work out for themselves. Ya know, the wait until 3rd grade thing. Maybe they are afraid you are going to ask for services “too early” or something like that.

At your next meeting, I would just ask how her progress is and how they evaluate each child’s progress. Our public schools give informal assessments to all K-2 kids twice a year to make sure bench marks are being made. My son was on target for the two evals in kindergarten, but was off target by the 1st eval in 1st grade and never caught up until I withdrew him after 2nd grade. These informal evals are required by the state and do not require parental permission. Maybe you have something like that?

Yes, we had that eval in the beginning of the year and she was not on target. The teacher had also noticed quite a bit. I suspect, this next one (report cards come out end of this week) she will have “passed” due to her improvements.

The school knows we are seeing a speech pathologist and OT- does this have any bearing on their decision? I would assume if these people provide reports and recommnedations that would carry some weight (?)

I live in MA, if that helps.

I wouldn’t worry about having her labeled for being pulled out for speech. I don’t think there is any stigma attached to that. At least there wasn’t in any of the 3 elementary school districts my kids have attended. I doubt there is a stigma at this age for OT pull out either. The only label i attach a stigma to really is ED, Emotional Disorder. I do think teachers pre-judge students with this one. (I am not saying they should, or that all do, but I think it does happen).

Molly

I’ve heard the term Inclusion used —and recently I’ve come across something else; LRE = Least Restrictive Environment. It gives me the impression that I have a right to insist that she receives services like speech and OT within the classroom- anyone familiar with this?

That’s been my experience, too: OT and speech therapy don’t have that much stigma. LD has some, depending on the school system (some systems I’ve worked for, most kids with the LD label were slow learners but not slow enough for MR) and ED the most.

I have never heard of a general classroom having speech or OT in the classroom. I don’t think that would work or be what you want. It really refers to which classroom is their “home” room. You do want that to be the LRE. But the types of exercises that do in speech really wouldn’t be as effective done in a classroom. And having these services provided within the classroom would only draw attention to her having the services. Lots of children are pulled out at various times for various services. The other kids don’t pay much attention to it. None of the issues you have mentioned would be anything that would put her in a special classroom full-time.

Molly

Yes, you are referring to the IDEA law. I have never known someone to receive speech or OT in the main classroom. I think it would be very distracting to both the main class and the group receiving the speech. (Our speech is 3 kids at a time.)

If you don’t want the school in on things, if you don’t want a label, don’t involved the school. There are pros and cons to both. Some moms think they get better help if they refuse services. The school scrambles to figure out a way to help the child (all in the name of state testing that effects the school) without the child being catergorized. But if the child fails, then the child fails.

If a child is labeled special ed, there are some protections. The work is modified enough so there is no failing. You get some help.

What I did is this. I refused to have my son labeled. I did outside evals and got outside help…until he was failing so bad and was so far behind it was crystal clear my son qualified for and needed special ed or he was going to be in 1st grade for 3 or 4 years. I also put him in a private LD school. I drive around with a school sticker on my car. The whole world knows my son is special ed as he attends a special needs school. I’ve come a long way!

Yes Guest, you have been where I’m at.

My first reaction was to do all on my own to qualify the situation and to avoid the label. So, we did. We had the evaluation out of our pockets and do the speech and OT thru our insurance. I also didn’t/don’t fully trust the schools capability of doing the whole job (which is undertandable)
It makes sense that OT and speech would be outside—you are all right.

The 504 plan, as I understand it, would not involve any speech services or OT (I would have to have a special ed label for that? IEP and all of that…?) The 504 simply does accomodations like seating near the front etc… is that right?

Once I get this ball rolling at the school- do they do their evaluation and then suggest either IEP or 504? Do I have any input in that decision?

I think at this point, I need to suck it up and pursue the services because this is in the best interest of my child (I think she might need to be looked at differently, by the teacher) I want her to succeed. And I realize that in the younger grades being pulled out is more of an honor. “how come he gets to go to speech!” (even my 3rd grader says this) But I will continue all the stuff on the outside and of course helping her at home.

I’d be interested in hearing pros and cons of special ed…
Thanks everyone.

Parents are involved in the decision making process for both 504 and IEP. Where I live speech services do require an IEP, but it is a relatively simple, painless process. You can do it once and let the IEP stand for 3 years, or request an annual IEP if you think it is necessary.

You didn’t say what kind of OT services she is receiving. From what you wrote I didn’t get the impression there are major concerns. This may be why the school isn’t as forthcoming as you want. I think frequently they are only contacted by parents with there is a HUGE problem. If your daughter is doing pretty well in class they don’t think of it as a crisis situation.

What kind of services do you think she needs?

My son has an IEP for speech and adhd. I go for an annual IEP team meeting tomorrow. We will talk briefly about the speech progress he is making. His speech at this point is a minor issue. We will talk about the classroom accomodations he has now and how they are working. This would be his daily checklist and organization progress. He sits next to the teachers desk etc. The main focus I am planning on is his increasing difficulty with writing. The 3rd grade class he is in writes tons, and he is having BIG problems in this area. I requested an OT evaluation to be done before this meeting, so that report will be presented. We will talk about what it means. I think I may need a Test of Expressive Written Language done. I spoke yesterday with the school psychologist about this so that she had some time to think about it before the meeting.

I know it isn’t always the case, but my school has been great in trying to help my son. The team meetings really feel like a “team” meeting. Not adversorial at all. It helps that I praise his teacher and the other staff for everything they do. I follow up on everything and make sure I do what I say I will do. I spend an hour in the classroom every Wednesday making sure he is up to date on all his work. If this only takes 15 minutes I offer to make copies or do other things to help the teacher. Then I go down to the library, where I volunteer for at least an hour a week, sometimes much more. I started a “birthday book” donation program for the library, and I keep track of all the books donated, make the special book plates for them, type up the thank yous and the acknowledgements for the school newsletter.

I think my attitude toward the school sets the tone. When I need to vent about something at the school, I go home and call my mom. I don’t let it show in the school. There I am supportive and helpful. My kids give the teachers nice christmas presents and valentines.

Of course if there was something happening I didn’t agree with, I would speak up, loudly if necessary. And the school knows that.

I think I rambled and I don’t know if I answered any of your questions.

Molly

No, you did not ramble.
What kind of services does she need?
The OT is minor- needs some fine motor things- some hand/upper body strengthening- some work on how she writes her letters.

The speech is the bigger issue- and since we are so new into this, I’m not really sure what the issues are- but she seems to have expressive language problems (but it seems sometimes she is pretty good at expressing herself) and she seems to have some difficulty identifying sounds in language (phoenemic awareness), although she seems to be getting this more and more. She might have some sequencing problems/or might not. she has some issues with spatial concepts like in front of/behind..she seems to be learning this better now too. speech pathologist does not think she is adhd- but she needs some work at paying attention and following directions.
She is still 5 and won’t be six until early july. she has made such improvements-next week are the conferences so I’ll know what the teacher thinks at this point. she is able to read cat, sat…all the at words. I don’t know, I think this is pretty good for a kindergartner…..

I’m trying to work with her (we do some hooked on phonics- although I’m not sure it is that great) And I should be receiving a Sound Reading CD here shortly.

I agree totally with you on the handling of the school. I have made a point to be pleasant and non-pain-in-the butt-like. You get more flies with honey etc.. I will continue to be this way. this teacher does not like parents in the classroom but I will be there next year for sure.

Trixie,

The things you said about your daughter sound very familiar. This was/is my middle son. I was concerned in K about the discrepancy between his intelligence and his reading ability. I was concerned in first grade about this and his letter reversals. He was already in speech pull out, and diagnosed adhd, but I was concerned there was something more. I asked about dyslexia (he has several of the traits: left handed boy, gifted, adhd with family history). He had a really hard time with directionals (left, right)and sequencing (yesterday, tomorrow), but this seems to have worked itself out, as he is fine with it now. The school told me then that it was too early to be worried, he was at grade level and was doing just fine. He still doesn’t understand phonics, but his reading has improved dramatically.

In some ways I think the school was right in his case that it was too early to do anything, that time was what was needed. If your daughter’s issue is auditory processing that should be dealt with now. But in my son’s situation I think it is a little different. He is extremely verbal, and can talk up a storm, but has difficulty getting it in writing. This is really hard to assess before they are writing more.

I can’t possibly know if in your case it is something that just takes time or if she needs services now. That takes observation and assessments. What do the professionals you have been working with privately say?

I guess my advice would be if you think this is a real problem and needs addressing now, request a full evaluation. This would include an IQ test, standardized achievement test, OT evaluation, speech and language eval.
If you request this they have to do it.

But be prepared for the school to say “she is in K, lets wait and see how she is in the fall”. If you don’t agree with this and the outside OT and Speech people agree, have them write their assessment of her and give that to the school. By law, during the IEP process the school has to consider outside reports and if they dont agree with them have to tell you, in writing, why they aren’t using that information. Then if you still disagree you go to mediation or a due process hearing. I haven’t done that, but there are people here who have and can help if you get that point.

Molly

I think I need to get more concrete info from her speech pathologist before I proceed with the school. Things do seem to be resolving with time-but of course I am concerned. This auditory processing issue- has never been confirmed (in fact I’m the one who probably threw it out there at one point) and I’ve called around to places who test for this and they advise it is controversial and usually not done until 7-8 years old.

She is very verbal too- but I guess sometimes not as advanced in her language, doesn’t express herself as well as other kids-? Again, I feel pretty unclear about this. I’m so used to her-is there a “problem” or isn’t there…….

Someone once told me I should get the school involved discussing an evaluation etc… before the end of the year so that things are all set for the fall (1st grade). But I don’t understand if this can be done– will they do the eval now and set her for services in the fall. I know I have a lot of questions and keep drooooooning on here. I just want to have my facts straight when I talk to the school since they don’t seem to offer up much info…

I started with the hope that the school would genuinely want to help my child. I did find the ot he recieved at school to be top notch.

Special ed was just another story entirely. It can be a black hole. I went through some awful times with him in there. They almost wrecked his self esteem.
I finally realized this was just something I had to find the answers to myself. It was the best decision I ever made.

I worked with him myself, teaching him to read with a program called phonographix. We did vision therapy, interactive metronome, audiblox…

He is doing just great. He plays the piano like a pro after years of trying and failing. After therapy things just came easier to him.

He is happy, social, awesome and in a regular class…. And all of this has just made us very very close. He understands that I am on his side and that I won’t let him fail.

I can’t believe the little boy who couldn’t count on a numbers chart in second is working on fractions and long division (not easily but getting it all the same) and keeping up with the class.

Special ed can mean a regular class with therapy if that is what you want.

Hi Trixie, As far as I can tell, the pros and cons of special ed. depend tremendously on the specific training and abilities of the teacher that your child gets. My son has dyslexia and seems to be a classic case. None of his teachers (in special ed. or otherwise) had any training or even knowledge of systematic multisensory reading instruction. So special ed. was no help for him. I couldn’t tell from your description if you had enough testing to support any specific diagnosis. If I were you I’d be concerned about the implications of the phonemic awareness “deficits.” If your daughter has dyslexia, early remediation can be extremely successful if the right kind of program is used. But the key words are “early” and “right kind of program.” Has anyone suggested that you get the book Reading RefleX? If might be very helpful in getting you started this summer, and it might help you clarify in your own mind the nature and extent of of your daughter’s issues. One last question—can your daughter rhyme well? This seems to be a key indicator for dyslexia, especially when combined with some of the other issues you mentioned. Good luck.

It’s sadly and simply very hard to avoid an adversial relationship with schools - even if you write in a letter that you don’t want one. That you’ve been able to turn the teacher around a bit is great. Schools have certain rather ‘kneejerk’ responses. They are not really set up to deal with individual children’s problems yet that in fact is what the law tries to require them to do. It’s a bit of a conundrum and it’s set off by a parent’s request to ‘sit down and talk’. In the legal world, there’s no such thing as just sitting down and talking. Everything and anything becomes fair game to be written up and put in a file and count as ‘documentation’ - by you as well as by them.

In the ideal world, the guidance counselor would have a packet for you but in the real world they don’t want to be giving you any ideas of things you might ask them for.

There are organizations that can help and I recommend to every parent the wonderful (if dry) book by Mel Levine - Educational Care - to get some good ideas.

Good luck.

Sped pros and cons depend *entirely* on your particluarl system and what’s happened to its budget, though, alas, as a rule even a system with wonderful things happening K-4 or K-6 tends to crap out if you haven’t become an independent learner by the time you leave that level. It’s very worth visiting a classroom and talking to people.