introducing our kiddos

My son is 13. Over the course of his life, he has been wrongly diagnosed as autistic, having asperger’s and most recently, having “ADHD”. He has never been on drugs except for one short wrongly prescribed period of Ritalin, for a few weeks, about 8 years ago. He never met the criteria for any of the above diagnoses but that never stopped the labelling. He is now almost completely recovered from what was probably a condition caused by a shortage of oxygen to the brain at birth. that is, he ACTUALLY had a problem. Just think what you can do with your child’s imaginary one!

No drugs to speak of and almost completely recovered from whatever was wrong with him. The person who had to do the most changing was me. He is happy and meeting adolescence with a very healthy outlook. He gets 60-70% in school which is okay for a cartoonist and he is improving in every way.

(I didn’t know that being accident prone was a symptom of “ADHD”. Sounds more like that condition brought on by a lack of visual messaging to the brain on whatever side keeps getiing banged or broken. Sorry, I can’t remember the name of the condition - but it’s not “ADHD” Try walking for a distance close beside your daughter - first on one side, then on the other. She may continually veer into you on one or other side.)

With all due respect Jen, can you really say that the child described first in your post has “ADHD”? Does she meet enough of the symptoms? You don’t appear to list enough. Clumsy doesn’t count.

Jen,

Great thread. My dd is almost 8 now. She has mild ADHD. She is reading at the 5th grade level and produces beautiful artwork. She’s in 2nd grade and doing well with this teacher I think because she is not as bored. She is pulled out of class to go to the library for research. I see her biggest problems as impulsivity, frustration (cries easily), inability to recognize social cues, and attention. The impulsivity and frustraction resulted in some bullying this year but the teacher has separated the bully from my daughter and at recess my daughter is not handling things very well with this bully.

I have a second daughter that does not have ADHD. She is five and has had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis since 2.5 years of age. She has OCD and severe separation anxiety. She is doing very well dealing with her emotional issues but it is a daily battle for her.

Both of my children have benefited from me being proactive, researching and networking with other parents. I have visited other “parenting boards” and have found that the parenting skills that I find here and at other ADHD sites are superior.

Terry

Welcome back Brian. You keep me on my toes! I wasn’t meaning to say my daughter’s clumsiness had anything to do with adhd just as her athletic ability (which doesn’t come from me!) has nothing to do with it. I was just trying to talk about my kids generally speaking for descriptive introductory purposes only. There are other reasons we suspect she may have some adhd issues but I’m not getting into them in this thread!

Terry, I think it is so important that our kids have creative outlets for expression! It could be something different for each one of them! My kids amaze me with their stories and creations!

You are aware Jen that Brian1 is the Troll?

Terry, I’m not real sure what happened but she had a much better day yesterday. I didn’t mention we had a medication increase this weekend because I didn’t want our success to get turned into a medication debate. Things were great over the weekend! I was very hopeful after that. I do have to admit we had an extremely busy weekend—much more so than usual.

On Monday she was getting frustrated doing some of her vision therapy homework. She hates vision therapy and it’s a struggle no matter what. Usually she doesn’t mind going to the office as much but hates the homework. It’s not that she can’t do it. She just thinks it’s boring. We’ve talked to the dr already about this and he just said that the more she does the better but if she doesn’t get anything done at home that’s fine too. She’ll just have longer therapy time overall. Well, she decided she didn’t want to do the vision therapy at all on Monday. Not at home and not in the office. It progressed no matter how we tried to diffused the situation until she was totally out of control. Mostly a lot of uncontrollable crying. At that point it wasn’t about the VT anymore. I could tell she was exhausted and not in control of herself. So, right or wrong we didn’t force her to go. It wasn’t even like she had a tantrum and we gave in to it. It was more like there was no way she was in her right mind frame to handle anything extra for that day!

We were experiencing some problems in the evening anyway on the previous dosage but not like Monday. I can’t say it was better or worse. Just different. Less anger and yelling but more crying lack of emtional control.

However, yesterday the seesaw went back the other way. She had an absolutely wonderful day at school. The teacher sent me a note on how great she did academically and behaviorally. At home she was in control of herself and her usual happy upbeat self. I am hoping that this is more of how this will work out because she tells me it’s easier to pay attention. She also did not have any meltdown or loss of emotional control in the evening.

So, now I am back to being hopeful but also realizing it’s too early to really know. As a lot of people know it’s not easy to make a decision to use meds and I found it even harder to make a decision to increase the dosage. We wanted to try this before thinking about adding a new med.

Another significant thing was that she performed great on a timed test yesterday. Previously, anything timed added a lot of anxiety. So, maybe her anxiety is secondary and not comorbid. So far, on this new dose she’s been able to tackle the playground equipment and do terrific on a timed test!

Actually Jen
Statistically speaking ADHDer’s are much more likely to end up in the ER from accidents than their non-ADHD peers. It’s more likely an ADHDer that thinks it’s a good idea to jump off the roof into the pool, or hang from the ceiling fan while it’s on, etc. No, clumsiness is not a symptoms of ADHD, but looking at a child’s impulsivity and frequency of accidents is part of the evaluation.

Roxie, you are right. In fact, we had a major ER incident this past summer that can be linked to impulsive behavior. She got on her bike with the dog on a leash. Going down a hill and the dog went faster than the bike. She flipped over the handlebars and landed with her head on a rock. She was out cold for a minute. She ended up with stitches in her forehead (kind of Harry Potterish) and a concussion. Luckily, the tests showed no spleen injury. And no, against the rules, she was not wearing her helmut! Anyway, I know what you are saying but what I was trying to tell Brian is that in my post I was not trying to correlate the two things even though as you correctly say there can be a relationship.

Jen, I’m glad your daughter is more settled. You meantioned creativity earlier. I push my daughter’s creativity as a means of boosting her self-confidence and she enjoys it. She has to conform much of her day at school so I let her have plenty of time doing what she really likes to do. She goes to art programs in town and we have five drawers for art supplies down low in our kitchen.

My 8 year-old DS has been diagnosed by a Neurologist with tics and mild ADD. He is a wonderful child in so many ways. He was absolutely the best little boy. Around the age of 4 the teachers started noticing that he “anticipates” everything and would just leave the classroom to get ready for the next class. Yet, his reading skills were advanced enough to allow him to help the other pre-schoolers learn how to spell their names on the computer. He has a memory for numbers that is amazing, yet cannot remember where he placed something two minutes earlier. He is rough and wild with other boys. Yet, he can also be gentle and sweet. He loves to help his dad and I out around the house. He can be very serious, but has a quick wit.

In school, he can excel in a subject and then turn right around and fail to finish the paperwork on something he knows so well. He makes sloppy mistakes due to rushing. He is constantly forgetting to write his name, add a period, etc…He is reading at the fifth grade level, yet he refuses to participate in the classroom reading contest. He thinks “its boring”. He has a low tolerance for clothing items, bedding, etc. He becomes easily frustrated and can be whiny. He is anxious and worries about small things like “is there enough gas in the car?”, “are the doors locked?”, etc. He is highly afraid of the dark. Yet, he had his first rollercoaster ride and loved it!!!! It was a pretty mean one, too. (No loops or anything like that.) He’ll climb anything, anywhere, anytime. He is a video game whiz and becomes highly addicted. He has problems focusing in school and staying on task - especially if bored. However, he is funny, goofy, loving, inventive, and creative. He loves to build things and draw rockets, planes.

On the other hand, my 5 (almost 6) year-old DD is the exact opposite. She is a drama queen. You cannot miss her - even though she may not be talking. She NEVER sits still. Her mind is constantly going - dreaming up some new story or scenario to act out. Her mood changes quickly but she never stays angry for long. I thought we would have problems with her in school and with reading as she can remember something one day and forget it the next. Yet, she is doing very well in kindergarten and is reading at a 2nd grade level. She is hilarious in how she reads - she actually acts out the story and voices. She will quote all the grammar rules when trying to sound out a word.

She loves to draw and write short notes, story books. One minute the drawing is neat - the next it looks like a Picasso with so many things thrown in. Her drawings are amusing. She adds the smallest details but they can overwhelm the main subject. She drew a little girl sticking out her tongue at a boy. The tongue was pretty large and red with spit flying out. You would have to see the picture, every detail is there - from the fists, to the stance, etc…(she taped it on her brother’s door).

She has a wicked sense of humor and does NOT miss a thing. Her teacher believes she is too sharp sometimes. She cannot sit in her chair for long and has to walk around the back of the room. Yet, when quizzed by the teacher, she can recite the lesson. I’m afraid of how this is going to be a problem the next few years. She really cannot sit still for long! She jumps from toy to toy, book to book, etc. But, she can sit still for her favorite show or movie. For some reason, people find her entertaining. I’m so scared that her love of life will be smushed out of her in school. I’m sure that she’ll be asked to be evaluated for ADHD. Especially if she get’s the same 1st grade teacher my DS had.

Neither of my children will ever fit into the system. They question too much. They need to know why they are doing something. I dont’ know if this is good or bad. Thankfully, they are respectful to their teachers and other adults.

I just love my kids!!!!

Lost wrote: <<”He is anxious and worries about small things like “is there enough gas in the car?”, “are the doors locked?”, etc.”>>

Lost if you get into the situation that you can’t reassure him then think about OCD if you haven’t already.

Both of your children seem very bright. There is a possibility of giftedness. We have this situation I think. My daughter’s doctor thought that she has AHDH but won’t label her yet. If the school wants an evaluation for ADHD then I will see a nueropsychologist and see about a gifted label also. When the teacher lets her advance in the areas that she excels in then she doesn’t act so ADHD. I can’t recall the exact numbers but a child only needs an IQ of 130 to be considered gifted. I always find that shocking because I would have been considered gifted if I were in school today. I really don’t feel that I am that smart.

They sound like wonderful children.

Terry

Your right, I do think he may have a mild case of OCD. He also has tics that could be classified under OCD (repetitive hand actions). He is so sweet though. We are searching for a new Neuropsychologist as I feel the first one diagnosed him too fast and with less info than I think she should have asked for.

I have no idea if he is gifted. Half his tests (Raven, etc.) said yes, but the IOWA test said he was just high functioning. However, this year I did NOT have him tested as I have noticed that the Gifted teachers have very little understanding of ADD and very low tolerance for children who are “different”. He’s been in gifted classes for the last three years as a “filler student”. His teachers are good teachers, but they are to worried about everyone acting/behaving like little perfect grown ups. I can’t even do that, how can I expect an 8 year-old to do that all the time? He makes A’s but that’s not good enough for his teacher - I still get little notes about his lack of attention.

Who knows with my daughter. She broke her wrist this week jumping on her brother’s bed. She then asks me “why do these things always seem to happen to me?” I asked her to answer the question and she just nodded her head and said, “I didn’t follow the rules…Jumping on the bed could break my neck. Hey, but I didn’t break my neck, just my arm.” Dah…..I want to know why these things always happen when my DH is out-of-town????

Thanks for the comments TerryB. I’m like you, I’m not so sure of the IQ thing. I’m supposed to be in the “genius” level and I feel like I’ve always been just a waste. I’m so ADHD its pathetic (Yet, I can’t take medicine). I am so afraid my children will feel the same way one day. I am working on myself almost as much as them - I want to be a good example of how ADHD can enrich life.

That’s why the trolls make me feel so sad for them. This disorder is so real and so tangible. No one would ask to have it. No one wants to feel so “different”. But if you do have, it’s not the worst thing in the world and everyone has a some issue - this is better than a lot of them. Even sadder is the fact that the troll(s) exhibit many of the classic symptoms of ADHD and extremely poor impulse control.