medication input from kids

Jen, I don’t think a child who is ADHD will know whether or not they need meds! My child resisted meds and the psychiatrist was able to give him concrete examples of why he should take his meds. Now that he is off stimulants he doesn’t resist tkaing it as much. He didn’t have a clue about how off task he was without meds and really didn’t care! I wouldn’t ask her opinion, leave it up to you, Dad and doctor. Jan

JenM- I think you can include her input in your decision but I wouldn’t leave it up to her. We’ve been talking with our 10 yr old ds about his focusing problems at school. He is aware of it, and is actively working on it with his teachers. My take is that if he’s concerned he’s not learning , or feels anxious about it then that is valuable information. So from that perspective I would welcome his input. I guess if we do a meds trial we would also want to know how he feels, physically, emotionally etc. They certainly are old enough to discuss this at this age.!

Jen
I think at this point I wouldn’t worry too much about meds, although I think that you are wise to be thinking about your dd’s feelings on the issue. If you have the appointment and it turns out that she does meet the criteria for Inattentive ADHD, you don’t need to make a medication decision right then and there. You can discuss medication, and include you dd on that discussion, but there is no reason why you can’t go home to make the final descision. I would imagine that since you are seeking an evaluation for your 12y/o there must be some issues, some concerns, some challenges. I don’t imagine that you would just be doing this unless there was something significant going on. What interventions have been tried so far? Take some time to think about that, I’m going to guess that while there may have been many purposeful interventions, there are things that you and she are doing that you haven’t given a lot of thought to, you just do. We just had a Dr’s appointment yesterday, and I was surprised to see how my dd see’s her actions as ‘things [she] just does’, they are things that most kids would never bother to do, but they are necessary for her and thats what she needs to do, so she does them, but she doesn’t view them as extra at all. What is your dd’s take on it all? Is she feeling overwhelmed, continually frustrated, like she is lost or always one step behind? Does she feel as though she is capable, but something is always getting in the way? Does she feel different than the other kids, different in a bad way? I wouldn’t suggest possing all these types of questions to her directly, but have a conversation that brings these thoughts out in her. At 12 she is completely capable of knowing if she want’s to try medication for ADHD and she needs to have that voice, doesn’t mean she gets final say, but she needs a voice. If she fears teasing and taunting, that needs to get out and be discussed, If she thinks it’s going to be a miracle cure for her challenges the realities of that also need to be discussed. She needs to understand the side effects she is most likely to get initially and how long they are expected to last. She is old enough, if it comes to trying meds, to keep a log of her responses- how she sees them. How much you weigh her opinion is really dependent on the type of opinion she has. And all her thoughts and feelings need to be discussed and sorted. Good luck

Good thoughts here from everybody. This is the same child we were discussing on the memory thread. She is frustrated and has expressed her concerns to me. She knows she is having trouble paying attention. Like Jan said she may not know just how much trouble she is having since she has nothing to compare with. She does know that she is having a hard time retaining information and it is starting more and more to affect her academically. She is definitely one of those kids that cannot handle more than one direction at a time! She is nervous about her upcoming exam and has asked if she’ll have to take medication like her sister. She understands and can literally see how it helps her sister. She also wanted to make sure she would not have to do vision therapy! I told her that we have to wait and see what the doctor says and then we’ll discuss it. I did ask her how she felt about it and she said she didn’t know. Good idea, Roxie if it comes to that to discuss how it could make her feel. She did say if it could give her some memory she would be interested in trying it.

As far as other interventions there have not been as many as my other daughter because it has not reached a crisis situation. Meaning she has not yet failed and has not been flagged by any standardized tests. I just recognize the symptoms and can see how it is getting worse. There are things that we always thought were just “her” but now I know are not. When I asked her how she felt about getting the evaluation she said she wanted to do it! She said she feels like she has to do it for her own sake to get answers!

I hadn’t even thought about how meds might make her feel compared to the other kids. I guess it’s something else to discuss with her if it gets to that.

I have a 17 year old son who is ADD-Inattentive and has been on meds for 4 years. He has been going through a soul searching stage and he doesnt’ like the fact that he has to take meds to do well in school. He looks at it as a crutch…I keep telling him to me it is like wearing a pair of glasses of a hearing aid if you have problems seeing or hearing…To him it isn’t “him” that is making the good marks it is the meds and this really bothers him.

We knew he was ADD in grammar school probably 2nd grade but we decided to not put him on meds then…He just barely skated by without meds and as things got more complex he would tune out even more and he just couldn’t hold it together in high school. He got into a great school, he had a 3.5 GPA, and his last 3 months of high school he has a huge case of senioritis and I can’t get through to him that his current slacker attitude and bad habits of procrastination and being ADD are going to haunt him in college and he says…no because mom and dad are paying money for college…

I got into it with him…procrastination and being inattentive can become serious habits that are really hard to break for people, especially when things are new and more complex like they are in a University… I just figure I have to let go and let him fall on his face and then maybe he will do something about it.. I told him…”I can’t make you take meds, I can’t control what you are doing in class and when you choose to focus or tune-out…The choice is yours…”

Patti — he’s going to get the shock of his life in college.

Instructors’ attitudes when faced with comments about students paying are generally: fine, you’re paying the money. I am providing the service paid for, namely presenting the material, being available at fixed times to answer questions, explaining what you ask, and verifying your learning. If you don’t take advantage of that service, too bad. If you miss the concert, no ticket refund, tough luck. If you don’t like the concert, still no ticket refund, tough luck. If you’re not capable of learning the material, OK, leave, save your money and don’t pay any more, the door is open. (And that’s the mild expurgated version).

Furthermore, and I have really had this experience as a TA at an Ivy League college, when students come up and make claims that they think they are owed something because they have paid a lot of money, this is incredibly *rude*. The instructor — and in first-year classes you get low-paid TA’s and associate professors who are *not* seeing all that money — will feel attacked aggressively. He/she will react as people do when subject to aggressive attacks, namely fighting back. This is a great way to lose all possibility of help and consideration from an instructor or advisor. Threats to go over his head to the department, and actually going there, may succeed in losing his job for him and ruining his career — and boy, will he (and his colleagues) love you and give you help and good grades for that!

If your son really does intend to go to college, it would be a good idea to arrange for him to spend several days on campus “shadowing” another student to class. This can be a real eye-opener and can make a huge difference to his success in that first semester.

We had my daughter’s evaluation today. She was diagnosed adhd inattentive/impulsive as we suspected she would be. We are trying to decide how to handle it. The doctor says she needs help as she will struggle even more as the demands on her grow. Her issues are a little more severe than even I thought. Basically the doctor said we should decide whether we want to use medication or make school accommodations. She said if we decide not to medicate to let her know as we should get a 504 in place immediately. So, we have some discussing to do this weekend!

JenM, Good luck with your decisions…

I know you said she had a neurodevelopmental exam - what kind of doctor did this evaluation? Just curious about how you got such a clear dx, so quickly.

Thanks,
Karen

Jen
I really hope I am misinterpreting what the Dr said. It doesn’t have to be an either or. My dd needed accomodations in the beginning, medication or not. She has learned ways to compensate now, so she is able to do well without any formal plan for teachers to follow, of course it helps to have teachers that are intuned to her needs, but that’s another story. You can have both, meds and a 504, or IEP, if they are needed. There should never be a single avenue approach to treating ADHD, especially in the beginning.

Jen, please try to take it easy this weekend, even though you all have such important decisions to make.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Good luck, and Hang In There!

You are right Roxie. It’s not one or the other. It’s not you misinterpreting, it’s me not making it clear. I think what she’s saying is she needs help and it’s only going to get worse. What I understood is that with medication she may not need a 504 and if we are not going to medicate then we need to make the accommodations for sure and as soon as possible. It’s possible she may need both as my younger child does but maybe not. Hope that makes sense. You are right in what you are saying. My brain feels fried (and a little overwhelmed) right now so I may not be making total sense!

Karen, the exam she had was neurodevelopmental and was done by a highly recommended doctor specializing in learning and attention disorders. It was an all day event starting this morning. It includes social history, physical exam, neurological exam and developmental exam. The doctor is excellent and leaves no stone uncovered. She works on the premise that she is going to try to prove that the condition does not exist by ruling things out, not just looking at the symptoms and checking them off on the DSM.

Wow Jen, an all day evaluation, I would be exhausted too. What an overload of information you must of had. Glad it went well though and you have some answers.