Hi, my younger son is adhd and in 4th grade. He has had an interesting but somewhat intimidating teacher this year, but we’ve dealt with him ok (mostly by remembering that he is temporary). He also has a different teacher for both art and music, who may be teaching 5th grade next year. James infrequently has a hard time with this teacher, today however, he said he would never take music when he gets to middle school and I have realized that James doesn’t draw as much as he used to. Actually James was almost in tears when he told me how the teacher gets ‘smart’ with him when he doesn’t remember the symbols in music. This is the first I’ve heard of this going on. My thought is if James gets this teacher for a whole year and he’s already messed with James’ interest in art and music what else is going to be messed up?
Anyway, we have a choice of only 2 teachers for 5th grade and I wanted to know what is the diplomatic way of telling the school that I don’t want this teacher teaching my son all day for a whole year? I understand the other teacher has a very structured classroom with a lot of cooperative learning going on. Would it be a good idea to use my son’s adhd as a basis for reqesting this other teacher? We haven’t had any real academic issues as far as the adhd, he takes ritalin, so his behavior is pretty good, and he is an A-B student.So I really haven’t had to deal with the school too much over him(he was in speech for 2 years but for us that was easy, dr. recommended,got him in no problem…unlike older brother who is a constant source of stress as far as academics are concerned :o) )
So is it possible to ask for the teacher by name or do I have to go around the issue vaguely? Or do I just wait to see who he gets and see how things go?
Appreciate any input from you all. Thanks
Re: requesting a certain teacher
Thanks Sara, you’ve been a great help.I am not sure who makes the decisions, my neighbor teaches k in another town, she suggested I make a request in writing ( we are in a DODDS school district). I will make some discreet inquiries :o) Thanks again.
Re: requesting a certain teacher
I would suspect, with only two choices, the teacher has a big impact. What I have done is almost exactly what Sara recommended. In a parent teacher conference, I bring up the issue of “next year”. I then frame what I want in terms of my child’s needs.
Writing a letter has been in my experience a big no no. The one time I wrote a letter I got a different teacher. There often is an official policy against parents selecting teachers or at least prejudice. Teacher selection, in my experience, is best handled informally.
BTW my children always got who I requested when I used the above procedure.
Re: requesting a certain teacher
Thanks Beth, I thought probly a casual inquiry with his current teacher would be a start, maybe I should make it more formal? Any opinions? btw we just got his report card, 3 A’s and a B. Not too bad. Thanks again.
Re: requesting a certain teacher
Try to find out whether your principal is open to requests for a specific teacher. If they are not receptive to requests for a specific teacher, see what you can find about the two different teaching styles of the two teachers, then write a more general request so it is tailored to match the style of the teacher you want. For instance, if the teacher you want has a structured classroom approach, write something like “my son’s [concentration?] is significantly improved by a structured classroom approach.” We had a case where one potential teacher was extremely authoritarian and had explosive outbursts. I wrote “because of the severity of my son’s self-esteem issues, he needs to be in a calm, supportive environment.” Try to frame your child needs to match the teaching style of the teacher you want. Good luck!
Re: requesting a certain teacher
I am a teacher aide elementary grade level K-5…and encourage you to immediately set up an appointment with your school principal to discuss your concerns and request a certain teacher for your child. It would be totally appropriate for you to speak with the principal about how your son was made to feel by his art/music teacher…..and how you feel he would do better in a structured environment. Remember, YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best for your child, and it is YOUR responsibility to do what you can to help him succeed. If you are uncomfortable with his being in an unstructured classroom…than the principal needs to know about it now…before the next school year and classroom assignments are done. The principal may already be aware of some of the problems and already be considering placement of your child..but you cannot be sure of this until you discuss the issues with him personally.
GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS.amyf wrote:
>
> Hi, my younger son is adhd and in 4th grade. He has had an
> interesting but somewhat intimidating teacher this year, but
> we’ve dealt with him ok (mostly by remembering that he is
> temporary). He also has a different teacher for both art and
> music, who may be teaching 5th grade next year. James
> infrequently has a hard time with this teacher, today
> however, he said he would never take music when he gets to
> middle school and I have realized that James doesn’t draw as
> much as he used to. Actually James was almost in tears when
> he told me how the teacher gets ‘smart’ with him when he
> doesn’t remember the symbols in music. This is the first I’ve
> heard of this going on. My thought is if James gets this
> teacher for a whole year and he’s already messed with James’
> interest in art and music what else is going to be messed up?
> Anyway, we have a choice of only 2 teachers for 5th grade and
> I wanted to know what is the diplomatic way of telling the
> school that I don’t want this teacher teaching my son all day
> for a whole year? I understand the other teacher has a very
> structured classroom with a lot of cooperative learning going
> on. Would it be a good idea to use my son’s adhd as a basis
> for reqesting this other teacher? We haven’t had any real
> academic issues as far as the adhd, he takes ritalin, so his
> behavior is pretty good, and he is an A-B student.So I really
> haven’t had to deal with the school too much over him(he was
> in speech for 2 years but for us that was easy, dr.
> recommended,got him in no problem…unlike older brother who
> is a constant source of stress as far as academics are
> concerned :o) )
> So is it possible to ask for the teacher by name or do I have
> to go around the issue vaguely? Or do I just wait to see who
> he gets and see how things go?
> Appreciate any input from you all. Thanks
Re: requesting a certain teacher
I reply as a parent, not as a teacher. In our school system, we found the “soft” approach to requesting our daughter not be placed with a particular teacher didn’t work. By “soft,” I mean that my husband and I met with our daughter’s second grade teacher in the Spring to get her opinion on the best type of teacher for our daughter for the following year. We heard from that teacher and other parents that a particular third grade teacher had a style (lots of yelling, very little positive feedback) that would have been a bad fit for our daughter. We then wrote a letter to the principal discussing the type of teacher and classroom we thought our daughter would do well with. In doing so, we thought we did everything but state “please don’t put her in with Ms. ___.” We also thought we had done everything right. We had the second grade teacher advocating for us; we spent many hours crafting a letter that we felt could not be misinterpreted. It turned out, however, that the principal faced so many similar requests, that he only honored those that explicitly requested a placement with the teacher’s name.
Needless to say, our daughter’s worst year in school was third grade.
The following year, we took the aggressive approach. This was hard for us because my husband and I are shy, by nature, and hate the pushy, aggressive types. However, you need to do anything you can as a parent to ensure your child enjoys school.
Our daughter survived her third grade experience and is doing well (knock on wood) in the seventh grade. Our son will be entering third grade in the fall and you can bet that we’ll be meeting with his current teacher, writing an explicit letter, and meeting with the principal to make sure he doesn’t have to suffer through a similar fate.
Re: requesting a certain teacher
The lesson I think is to find out what the norms are. In my children’s school it was pretty clear that parents were not allowed to request specific teachers. Thus, parents had to find a way around this “rule”. In the same town, at a different school, specific requests were fine.
Re: requesting a certain teacher
Hi,
I am a learning center teacher in a middle school in Boston. It is in my opinion that say what you must to ensure that your son is given the best education in the most appropriate environment. I think that a mismatch between the student and the instruction is what seems to be at the heart of this issue. This is common, but a touchy issue because of the fact that teachers are especially sensitive to any criticism of instruction or assessment. However, I think that your child should not be with that teacher. I have a few suggestions. Have you spoken to the special educator or guidance counselor and asked them to help you handle this situation? You could use his disability as wll if he is not receiving the services he is supposed to in his ed plan (ie frequent break, routines). I have to run but hope these suggestions are helpful.
Take care
Allison
Re: requesting a certain teacher
are you kidding? as a teacher and a mom of a little guy like yours (mine is 7) i have no problem going to who ever i need to in order to have his needs met. i look at it this way: as teachers, we are being paid to perform a service - a very important service. we are entrusted with the care and education of your children for 7+ hours, 5 days a week. if a doctor was not caring for your child properly, wouldn’t you ask for a different doctor? of course. i have been quite up front with the teachers at my sons school (a different school from where i teach). i have told them that i expect my son to be treated with the utmost respect and care. he has not chosen this for himself and it is no fault of anyone. i am sure that sometimes i have stepped on toes, but this is my baby and the foundation of his home and educational life is being created now. i have to insist that he is educated appropriately, and if not, then it is my obligation to stand up for him. be sweet and humble in asking, be sure that the administrators know that you’re not being critical, and beg if you have to. if that doesn’t work, get mean if you have to. you can do it! i know you can - if you care enough to ask for advice, you care enough to do anything you have to for your child. good luck!
p.s. i have to admit that i have gone directly to a teacher and told them that i was concerned about the treatment of my son - i have also told them that i expect it to stop. don’t be afraid - teachers are like anyone else. but some of them (us) get a little power goofy and think they can treat children however they want. i would ALWAYS want a parent to call me to the line if i was being unfair to their child. that is how i learn. good luck!
Re: requesting a certain teacher
Thanks to all for your advice.You all sure gave me a lot to work with, I ‘ll let you know how things go. Thanks again.
Each school is different. My own school is very welcoming of parent requests for teachers but not all schools are. The old saying, though, of “it never hurts to ask” applies.
Who makes those decisions in your school? The principal? The current classroom teachers. You might ask around of other parents before you approach someone. When you think you know who makes those decisions, I’d go in and first say that as your child grows older, you’re getting somewhat more concerned about his ADHD and the role it plays in school. Tell them you believe that structure is important for your son and you’d really like to see him placed in the classroom with the greater structure in the coming grade and you’ve been advised that that is Miss Smith’s classroom. Would it be possible to put your son in Miss Smith’s classroom?
Good luck.