My son has been staying up later and later, particularly during the summer. We basically let him make his own bedtime but suggested that that the TV be turned off by 11:30 or 12:00. Most of the time, that didn’t happen. Now that school has started, he’s still staying up quite late, spending most of the time watching TV. We’ve turned the suggestion to turn off the TV at 11:30 to a strong request, but he’s feeling that, at 15, he’s old enough to manage his own bedtime and, as long as he’s able to get up and get to school and maintain decent grades, what’s the big deal. While we agree somewhat, we’re concerned about his excessive TV viewing.
Before we set rules down in stone and then begin the weary road of enforcing them, I’d like to get some feedback from others of kids my son’s age and how they handle bedtime. Thanks for the feedback…
Can he sleep when he wants to? Does he stay up because he can’t fall asleep until whatever time he is turning off the TV
I have 3 boys-12,16, and 19. The 12 is dx’d ADD and I STRONGLY suspect the 19 yr old is-in fact he fits the criterion better than the dx’d kiddo!!!!
I think all teens lean towards late nights and there is research showing their biological clock is set this way during those years
But ADD kids are more likely to overuse visual stimulation like video games and TV. My 19 yr old watches downloaded movies and TV shows until all hours as well.
The 16 yr old, who doesnt display ADD, is up late but is more likely to be talking on the phone or IMing pals-that visual ‘obsession’ isnt there!!
I know how frustrating it is. But if they are functioning and pulling good grades, what can you say? A quick email to teachers to see how things are going wouldnt hurt-you dont want him sleeping in class and highschoolers do!!!
Meanwhile, what I have learned from the 19 yr old
They NEED that stim someway, somehow. My 19 year old sleeps better when hes downing Mountain Dew. It defies our logic but makes perfect ADD sense
The mind is racing uncontrollably-they cant shut it down to sleep. Providing a stimulant calms the mind-visual stuff IMO does this so he may be actually calming himself with TV just as my son can utilize caffeine.
If he tells you that if he turns off the lights and TV at 11:30, he will just lay there not sleeping until 3:00, hes like mine!!!
I have also found my son does better with a part time job. In fact, he got through high school this way(sometimes doing 40 hr workweeks)
First semester of college was bad news-he dropped out. He ONLY did school, no job!
Now, hes at the local community college carrying a full class load AND working at a restaurant-things are going great-he has a A/B average
What works for the ADD mind can go against what we think of as common sense parenting.
Im learning to go with what works, not what I THINK should work-although I learn awful slowly at times ;)