Is it normal to also have delays in potty training

I don’t think there is any connection.

What you might want to do is post a question on the General board (forum) at http://www.welltrainedmind.com . I have seen several discussions of potty training there. It seems that boys tend to be more difficult to train than girls, and tend to train later. What I have seen work in my family is having the child run around naked for several days (keeping closet tabs on him, of course).

Nancy

Thanks alot Nancy I will try the website!!

It depends on what is going on with the child. If there is a major disability that affects everything to do with the child’s life, such as autism, then potrty training may be yet another issue in the whole package. If the child sust has a language disability but everything else is functioning OK, there shouldn’t be a connection.

There’s an old book which you can sometimes get at the used-book store, “Toilet Training in Less Than a Day” (not sure if I have this title exactly right, but do an Amazon search on it.)
In fact, even in the book the author admits that no, you aren’t going to get one hundred percent perfect in a day, but you can get close. I used this with my daughter aged two and it really worked.
The basic idea is good pedagogy and setting expectations. First you wait until an appropriate age; trying too early before the kid has muscle control is just going to teach failure and make things worse. Then you set a date when you are free and relatively undistracted. You tell the child ahead of time “On Saturday you’re going to use the toilet like a big kid and no more diapers.” Then you buy new, attractive underwear, lots and lots of pairs; no diapers and no transitional pullups either, but real underwear. With my daughter I tried promising “If you use the toilet then we’ll get pretty undies”, but I found she wasn’t mentally ready to deal with a conditional; I had to go to the discount store, buy the undies, and give them to her. This was a real motivation for her. Then on the designated day, you put the kid in the underwear, deliberately feed the kid lots and lots of drinks, watch closely, and every time you see a wiggle or a leak, straight to the potty. Do *not* keep the child on the potty for hours, not an effective method, just try and catch as soon as he starts. Praise successes and take failures calmly, change and try again. From this time on, no diapers; put a plastic sheet over the bed ahead of time (if it’s uncomfortable, an easy-wash mattress protector over the plastic sheet.) The book has more details, and it really is effective.

Thanks Victoria I will try to look up that book. It is so frustrating especially when my other two had no real problem. THat’s why I was wondering if My third son being diagnosed 18 month speech delay and some motor skills are delayed but not as bad.. Thanks again for you suggestion and I will check that book out. I would like to try and get him trained before Sept 1st when he will start pre-school again. They allowed him to go to school last year without being trained but they would prefer him to be trained… Stressing out but will keep trying!!!!!!!!! Thanks Again. :D :D

just wanted to chime in that ‘you are not alone’ — and I also doubt it is connected to the delayed speech. My son had EARLY and advanced speech, and tho visually dyslexic, spoken word is still a strength for him — but he did NOT get potty training until I put him in cloth pants (age 2.5 — had an impatient gramma whose kids were all trained by age 1.5, including my nephew for whom she was caregiver, egging me on!) — 48 hours later he ‘had it’, though he did try several times to talk me into going back to huggies…he preferred them! If I had it to do over, I’d have switched to cloth as soon as the other readiness signs were there, instead of struggling for months…I think the disposables are so comfy, some boys just don’t see WHY they should use that toilet! Victoria’s plan sounds perfect.

We had trouble with BM though — he would HOLD it! and though he did not often have an accident (since one can’t pretend NOT to be ‘holding it’, grimace gave him away and I’d take him to the potty, where he would then let it go) he just would NOT go ‘by himself’, until almost age 4. I finally figured out what was going on — he thought he could stop the BM! Had to explain that this was hurting his body…again, 48 hours of discussing this fact and how the BM MUST come, cuz it can make your body sick if it doesn’t…and we were ‘trained’. He would not use a toilet until much later tho — HAD to be potty for a long time. I think he was scared of the toilet…so this might play into it too.

Good luck!

The book “Toilet training in less than a day” is still on Amazon. Not new but used copies (49 available as I was writing this).

—des

Thanks Elizabeth TO it is nice to know I am not alone in this… Ihave been trying again without pullups this time just little boys underware (SPidey and Hulk) but he continues to just keep having accidents.. So frustrating because I know he can because he does every so often. I am trying and thanks for your thoughts on the subject. Thanks to des also I am going to try that book by looking on Amazon right now!! Hope it happens soon!!! :D :D

I remember a couple of parents posted that having the child go naked worked when having underwear or pull-ups did not. Might be worth a try.

Nancy

Often a speech delay goes hand in hand with low muscle tone. Since you mentioned some minor motor delays as well, its possible it is physically a bit more challenging for him to stop, push, or even feel the process

Also, I think a lot of verbally delayed kids respond better to visual and tactile teaching

And, ummm, especially with a boy, the naked approach is QUITE visual ;)

I trained all 3 of my boys this way-using the “less than a day” book and naked bottoms.

Addendum: you have to actually get into the mind of a toddler. If consequences aren’t immediate, consistent, definite and unmistakable, they are meaningless. Work out a positive reward for success — small treat or a game he likes to play — and a negative consequence for “accidents” — say a small time-out with no games or TV — and stay on him all day for a couple of days. If you catch him every time, it will sink in much better than random tries.

ok Now it is Sunday August 22 I am into my second week and it is not going well at all! :cry: :cry: I have been putting on the timer every 30 minutes, then when he hears we go to the bathroom to try. Sometimes yes it happens, but then the next time he won’t go then after another 30 minutes I will call him and he is wet!!!! :cry: And forget Number 2 it only goes in his underwear. I try to not get mad I try to ask him questions then comfort him and say maybe next time you will get it . And he may the next 30 minutes with success and then another pee accident.. I am so frustrated I just want to quit.. But he is starting preschool Sept 7 and he is suppose to be trained.. I have tried only using underwear no more pullups but then he will have an accident and I want to scream. I really thinks he is delayed in potty training also.. I really feel there is some connection with his speech and slower motor skills.. I know another Mom in his summer school speech class said it took her 2 1/2 weeks. But it is so frustrating.. I want to just wait a little longer then try again.. Maybe I am just stressing him and myself over something he just cant contol yet. I will try the no pants next, but it maybe a little hard for him because he always says my pants my pants. But I will try the naked .bottom!! :twisted: :twisted: Thanks for all the suggestions keep them coming.. please . thanks I will keep u all posted// Ann Marie

Well, clearly he can’t tell time yet. The timer is not tuned to his body and vice versa. Unfortunately he is also getting used to failure, not good. What I’m suggesting is a certain amount of extra work for a couple of days, and a lot less work for years after that: stay in the same room with him and keep an eagle eye on him. Keep him in a room with only a few steps to a bathroom. If he doesn’t like it, well, he can go to the basement or whatever once he’s using the potty consistently — carrot and stick principle. As soon as he wiggles or arches his back or gets a faraway look, grab him and get him on the seat. He may leak a little but the majority should go in. A couple of days of consistency should get the point, and he will recognize the signals in himself. What you are doing now is not tied to his internal signals, so he’s not getting your point.

I know you have other kids so Im sure this is hard but the way I did it took my total concentration. I stayed in one room with him and the potty chair right there(much as Victoria described)

I did not make him go to the potty but waited until I saw it happening(lots and lots of his favorite liquids will give you plenty of opps) Then I rushed him over to the chair and we made a huge fuss over what hit the pot! I made sure he saw it(yellow on white) I quietly cleaned up the path we made.

If I HAD to go somewhere I put him in thick training pants and let what happened happen but I made a huge-I mean 99%- effort to stay home for two days. And really, the first day they ‘got’ it ,with some fine tuning the second day. Accidents were a true rarity after a week

My older 2 trained before age 2 and the speech delayed guy was a bit past 2 and 1/2

I think hes ready -you just have to ditch what you have used in the past. IOW, stop talking ;) What worked before wont work with this one

Victoria are on the same wavelength. The movement is teaching him, not your words, so all hes getting out of this is “I go sit on this special chair every time I hear the noise”

See it! Experience it! Forget the words and explanations!

JMHO but I have definitely been there

my guy was verbal, so that DID work — but Marycas and Victoria are quite correct, I think you must work with body, feelings, symbols, visuals…hope that potty is white!

And make it just like reading…’YES, honey, you WILL do it…it will happen, it will come…’ keep saying this until you both believe it! Or, rather, since verbal doesn’t mean much to him, make sure your TONE and internal assurance get across to him. This is hard, when you are internally going crazy with frustration…but start fresh…it WILL come!

thinking of you!!!! GOOD LUCK!

There are lots of great suggestions here!

I just want to add, both my children (non-LD girl and LD boy) were late with potty training. And my daughter did go to a preschool that required kids to be potty trained, but somehow I was able to convince them to allow her to attend with pull-ups. She was there only a half-day two times a week so this was possible. I don’t know if there’s anything you can work out with your son’s preschool, but just in case you may want to talk with them or consider possible options. Good luck!

Well I feel this is my way of staying sane right now!! I could not wait to come and check if There were any other suggestions today!! :) We tried the no underwear (They are all being washed after this weekend of not happening) So bare bottom it was until I went to go get him after breakfast and drinking a cup of milk waited about 30 min, to find him in the corner of his brothers room squatting and having a bm. I was so upset I just wanted to stop right their.. I called my husband telling him it is not going to work he is just not getting it and yelling all the way.. My husband said don’t give up now.. I know your upset but I bet he is upset that he let you down too. I just wanted to cry and say why me.. I cleaned up put on a pull up and went to get the clothes out of the dryer to try underwear again. I even have not let him play games with his brothers until he cried so much i said go ahead and we will get the toilet the next time which he did with the help of some fruit loops.. He laughed at trying to hit them and sink them. So I came down to check up with all of you.. I had a bad start and wanted to quit but I won;t!! :D :D I will conquer this quest!!! If I don’t have a anxiety attack before. It was so different with my older boys 7 and 9. The older was a liitle challenging but not like this and it was by 3. My 7 yr old the day my last one was born at the hospital while visiting me he declared he was not a baby anymore that Josh was and he went pee in the big toilet at the hospital and never looked back… How easy was that!!! But every child is different and maybe it is my own fault for waiting to long(THat is what my husband thinks) Josh is going to be 4 in October I really want this to happen before school start.. Thank you all for your advise. Believe me you all are a breath of fresh air today.. I’ll try not to get to emotional about this and try try again.. Keep up you support comments I really look forward to your thoughts.. Mother in Motion- Ann Marie. :D :D :?:

Wow, you are ON YOUR WAY…my boy thought this was SO lame…WHY did you waste frootloops by putting them in the toilet, MOTHER??? Get me my fresh huggies, I’d like to go out to play now, please! (maybe you’ll be glad he’s not so verbal!)

Remember, there is alot happening here…power struggle as well as physical struggle…with you AND with himself…with change vs no change…always scary, especially at 4 — change scares me and I’m 44!!!

The great thing about children is that they are so ‘present moment’…so you get a fresh slate to try again. HE WILL GET THERE! But I laughed gently at your post, having ‘been there’ upon checking on my son at play, only to find him grunting and trying to hold his BM(unsuccessfully!) and then grabbing him under the arms and running him up the stairs to the bathroom…tried potty near the TV but didn’t work for us…cuz he really didn’t WANT what I wanted, he was sure deep down that he could bend reality to his own WILL! (is that not the story of 3-4 YO boys?? Your guy is, deep down, doing the same sort of thing…but if he’ll aim for those frootloops and has bigger brothers to call him ‘baby’, it WILL come.

And you can have the pleasure of telling a future daughter-in-law ‘don’t worry, honey, listen to what I went through with his/her FATHER when he was four!’

BUT IT ain’t your fault! We never get to know ‘what might have been’ — maybe you’d have tried training him starting at age 1.5 and have a HUGE behaviour/mommy-vs-boy-interaction problem due to power struggling before he was physically ready…ah, how many times have I kicked myself cuz I didn’t drill DS on the alphabet at age 2, as my sister did her son…GAWD, it’s MY FAULT he’s dyslexic!!

IT IS NOT…might have helped, might have hurt, might have made it WORSE…I did what I did, and we both live with the consequences…but it ain’t ‘my fault’ — my aunt, mom to four boys says ‘they don’t arrive with an instruction manual tatooed to their butts, so it AIN’T YOUR FAULT’! (and you should have met HER #4, LOL! drove his seventh grade teacher to a nervous breakdown…caused my father to actually PUNCH him as a late teen, quite deservedly if such a thing is ever possible! Wet the bed til age 13…I could go on and on…and he’s a successful and interesting 40-something, regardless!)

Keep trying! WASTE those frootloops, they’re only sugar and empty calories with some vitamins added anyway! And keep that mantra going…’YES, he will get it…just not this time! YES, he will get it…just not this time! YES, HE WILL GET IT! my son now reads JUST as well as his cousin…spelling we’re still working on…HEY, why didn’t we aim for ALPHABITS in that potty???? Keep smiling!

I have to mention that I read a post some time ago about a father who stayed in the bathroom with his son *for hours at a time* waiting for him to do a bm. Read to him, played games with him, whatever it took. The boy was terrified to go in the toilet, and it took several of these before his subconscious finally realized it was a safe thing to do. I have always marvelled at that father’s patience — not something I can imagine myself doing without blowing my stack.

My bet is there are *lots* of these struggles but we seldom hear about them from other families.

Nancy

Is your nearly 4 year aware that he has to go potty? One thing to try is to have him wear regular underwear, but then change into a pull-up when he needs to go. Some kids, for whatever bizarre reason, are afraid of the toilet, and this recognizes the fear, but also trains the child about knowing when he/she needs to go.

I can commiserate with you. One of my children (now 10, and non-LD) was very insistent about not being potty trained. She was well past three before she was trained in regards to BMs, and quite frankly, she knew when she needed to go. She could also explain to me that she wouldn’t get diaper rashes if she would only use the toilet. What actually did the trick was having all her friends move up a level in her pre-school, which she couldn’t do until she was potty trained.

What may be going on is a power issue, and your child wants to be in control…not have you in control. You may want to give it a rest for a few weeks, and then start again. Having multiple potty chairs in the house may help as well.

Have you talked with him rationally about it? Does he actually see a need to be potty trained. Is there something he really wants (something big) that can be used as a reward. Once he’s potty trained, he can get that cool riding tractor or something like that.

But, you do need to find out if he’s aware of when he needs to go. If not, then you may want to talk with your doctor about possible medical things going on.

Good luck!

KayR

Well Hello just to let you all know, It is now 8/31/04 third week into training NOT TRAINING! No he is still not there yet. But I did get alittle frustrated by the end of last week and I admit to just pull ups friday & saturday. But on Sunday my husband took charge of the situation taking no bm!! about it.. And I have to say My little one seemed to respond to Dad a little better than myself.. I was alittle hurt but got over it fast. He even kept telling Daddy I have to go now daddy! They would both run to the big toilet and he would make pee-pee. He did have one accident with pee while playing game cube game with his brothers which I think he just didnt want to stop playing the game, although he was playing the game earlier that morning and stopped to tell daddy he had to go. So go figure? I really thing it was beginning to be a power struggle between us. I do know he is aware of the sensation when it is time to go. I guess he just needs to understand its now ok to do it inhis underwear when he knows how to use the toilet. (Per my Husbands words) But I have to hand it to my husband he was mad at him but firm not over the top but did make it clear it was not ok to do it in his underwear anymore. He did not go bm yesterday which makes me a little worried he is holding out especially of daddy. (doesn’t want dad to be mad at him for an accident) But the male firmness of my husband actions seemed to be effective. The good news is my husband is home the next couple of days so he will work with him and give me a break in it. Yesterday was good at home We did have a dr appt so on went the pull off. No accidents when we got back home back went the underwear. but no bm. So I am expecting something today. I am wondering if we can master this by next Tuesday his first day at Pre-school but if now on Friday we have orientation with teacher and other new students maybe if I tell the teacher about what’s been happening she could push him along and the pier pressure of the other kids using the toilet will be the key to success!!! I will keep you all posted and if all else fails then it will just have to be pullups for now until his 4 year check up in October with the pediatrician to talk of other options. But hopefully we will have him mastered by that time.. Thank you for all your support you have been great with suggestions. By the way we did go to our Library and they helped with some suggestions on books we read together and videos we watched together as a family and the brothers were singing the songs afterwards over and over and we did do a sticker chart and bought some cool stickers to filll up the chart with.. so I will keep you all informed of our progress! Thanks Again!! :D :D Ann Marie

and it is not always an ‘overnite’ thing! YAY DAD…I like your hubby! But just remember that BM might be slower…my guy was. And the ‘just didn’t want to stop playing’ is definitely a boy thing…but it doesn’t hurt to meet Dad’s standards, as long as the occasional mistake is a ‘re-teaching and encouragement moment’ and not handled ‘too’ heavily…I think your hubby is striking the right balance, from the sounds of it. Some kids NEED a certain level of ‘stern’, or they think you are not serious…in the youngest of three boys, I bet this is not an unusual trait.

I’m so glad you are seeing progress…it is not fun when you have one of these ‘wrinkles in the rug of life’, is it? Just remember to tell yourself ‘progress, we ARE making progress!’ when he has a ‘backslide’ — I do think this guy will take a bit more time and vigilance to be totally reliable, and that is not developmentally unusual, I’m sure…

Best regards,
E.

Sounds like everything is on an upswing

Yeah, dads can have that effect and it IS annoying. I think most moms do so much of the parenting that a typical kid develops some degree of ‘mother deafness’ and when dad steps in, they tend to notice

Frustrating when it seems we are doing all the work

I just saw an article in a magazine(sorry, car repair shop visit and no idea which it was)where a pediatrician said teh optimal time for potty training is 24-27 months and waiting any later is asking for trouble

Interesting because thats always been my gut feeling, but ‘the experts’ have been pushing this “don’t push-its no big deal-dont even tell your dr until they’re 4” philosophy for years now.

I wonder if we’re headed for a turn around in philosophy

Child abuse because of toileting accidents is a huge issue and I often think the recommendations to wait were more to help prevent that possibility than to back up any developmental findings showing kids were or were not ready

Not to make you feel you’ve done something ‘late’ but to say you’re definitely not alone. I work in the Early Intervention system and questions and problems with potty training are rampant. Thats NOT really part of our job but its such a common dilemna, well, youo’ve got to wonder if we weren’t more ‘successful’ back when we trained earlier and pullups didnt exist

I have a suspicion that the “experts” who said wait until they’re four were probably supported by the Huggies lobby. Lots of advertising in those parents magazines …

Yep lots of new product lines to keep the older kids in Pampers (huggies, et al). Pull em ups and feel when wet strips. Maybe these companies aren’t quite rich enough. :-)

I’m sure some parents rush it but 4 sounds awfully late to me too, in most cases I mean.

—des

OT, a bit but you know the ad with the feel when wet strips. It’s got this nice jazzy music, saying “You got the power”. I wonder if this is really aimed at moms or… the kids?? Do the kids go down the pampers aisle and say I want those? now that’s a frightening thought.

—des

…the chance, I would SO do it differently if I’d been able to have Kid #2 — I’d use disposables til about 15 months only, then go with cloth. Not that I’d expect training at 15mos, but I’d have liked diapers to become ‘NOT AS PLEASANT’ at that age, so we’d soon be right and ready to make the big change. I firmly believe we are prolonging the process of toilet training by making it ‘easier’ to wear the disposables…I’m sure, had my very verbal and mature 2 YO been in nasty ‘wet pants’, we’d have trained easily at about that age…as it was, he was 2.75, we got NOWHERE with all the usual ‘advice’, and it didn’t happen until he had the experience of nasty ‘wet pants’ — then it happened pretty quick!

I’m sure what you have read is accurate, Mary Cas — seems that it is MUCH more of a problem than it was 30 years ago…most were trained by age 2! Probably almost ALL!

YES, Des, that IS scary!!!! They are being promoted as if you should wear them for some time — and it is aimed at the kids! We parents are suckered in cuz it’s ‘easier’, but the whole system is self-perpetuating — pull ups are more comfy, but have no ‘baby’ stigma — so you do pull-ups til age 4…when really you should have been in cloth undies at age 2-2.5! Price out huggies pull-ups for 1.5-2 years…!!! AND it all goes into landfill…

For what is worth, I used cloth exclusively on my first two. Girl trained at age 2 1/2, boy at 3 1/2….and the boy was a major pain, as it was. Hate to see what would have happened if we had used disposables!

I was worn out by my third and used disposables. He trained himself toilet at 2.75. We had just moved out of state and I certainly wasn’t ready to deal with it!! Decided he was ready, I guess—no stickers for him!!

Still, I do agree that being uncomfortable plays a role in potty training. My third one just beats to his own drum.

Beth

>YES, Des, that IS scary!!!! They are being promoted as if you should wear them for some time — and it is aimed at the kids!

Then it wasn’t just my imagination that it’s aimed at the kiddos? It sure seems like it. (Well we are getting bladder control products now at both ends. From 0-4 and after 50!! (Instead of seeing your doctor at 50 if you have problems, just use our …)

>you do pull-ups til age 4…when really you should have been in cloth undies at age 2-2.5! Price out huggies pull-ups for 1.5-2 years…!!! AND it all goes into landfill…

Yep, I read somewhere about how much of landfills is pampers, it is a large amt. Increase to that all the 3-4 (hey they could increase that) and then after 50. (Not saying there aren’t rare medical happenings, but they make it sound so NORMAL).

—des

Sadly, I have to admit, part of the reason my kids were so late with potty training was because it was more convenient for ME. I didn’t have to stop at public restrooms as often.

Laura, I don’t think anybody’s blaming parents. Parents can choose whatever they want— as far as I’m concerned you could train them at 6. I think it is *interesting* that the disposable diaper market is actually marketing and advertising to preschool children, and making it easy to keep em in them so they can sell more products.

—des

Back when my daughter was young the technology of disposables was not so hot, and anyway she was the squirmiest baby ever seen. I tried disposables for two weeks, thought they would be easier in a cabin up north in midwinter with no running water — after washing all the clothing and bedding instead I went to cloth and bought enough to drive to the laundromat once a week. I changed her every time she was wet, six to ten times a day, so she never got used to being damp — she was dry overnight by 1 1/2. I followed the good advice and waited until she was over 2 to go to pants, had to wait until spring, 2 1/3 to get out of the heavy winter clothes, and she literally trained in a day, with a few accidents later but rarely. I’d probably do exactly the same again.

I think the superabsorbents and “stay-dry” and all that are getting the kid used to sitting around in humidity, so it really is hard to get across the advantage of being dry.

My ds was also 4 when he potty trained. Now at first I thought it was me. Then I was convinced it was stubborness and laziness. Now that I see a lot of these posts and since he is older and having LD it makes me wonder. Oddly enough he also had speech delays. Just wondering have you had his hearing checked. My ds had a hearing loss and we didn’t even know it. It was related to fluid behind the ears and asymptomatic otitis media (ear infections) He is on his second set of tubes and speech wise he is doing a lot better. Toilet training- I still think it was his stubborness and laziness. He was toilet trained naked but would potty in his pants whenever he had clothing on. When he was told enough was enough and I got stern with him that was all it took. Stand behind him and the sooner you catch any problems the better for the child. Good luck!

Well I can’t report complete success yet. It is better now it does seem to me if he is playing accidents are happening when he doesn’t want to stop and have to go. But I have found If i keep him in the wet stuff a little longer than I was he gets mad and does not like it then I tell him well go to the potty then and this won’t happen. Well Dad was good with him for about a day. Then kind of lost his momentum (But I won’t tell him I told him so because I don’t like that either) It was good for him to try to take over but after one day He was tired of asking him and watching every move he made> funny but isnt’ that the story of our lives moms? But anyway he tried and I thankful for that. It has gotten better but bm forget that it just isnt happening he goes and hides somewhere. I got the book on Toilet training in one day!! I am reading in between starting school for my 2nd and 3rd grader starting school and football practices 3 times a week and games every weekend. It is endless but the JOYs of MOTHERHOOD is worth it all. I have not given up and I met with his preschool teacher and of yes it would be nice if he was trained but she does understand and she will help work with him also starting on Tuesday his first day of school. I do agree if I could do it over I would have started earlier. At 2 is when all the diagnoses of his speech delay began and I was new to the whole thing I thought one issue at a time but I wish I did start it earlier.. But lesson learned right?? There are no instructions when it comes to raising kids. and they are all different for sure! Well one last comment I do agree about the Pull-up war for parents and the landfills. It is alot.. My mom of 73 says When I was training in my days 2 yrs old was late!! He should have already been trained!! Iuse to say AH Mom but now I think maybe she is right.. Well I am still plugging along thanks again for all your support I will keep you all posted! AnnMarie :D :D

IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D iT IS Saturday and he has not had a bm in his pants in days. Only about 2 accidents with pee. I am so Happy!! I think it was really a great combo of info from all on this forum. I know all children are different, but you do forget that! All the different input combined helped alot.. I sent to school in pullups the first day he did not go to potty, second day we went to another ld kid from his class who also just turned 4 in June and just trainind. She did follow the book Toilet training in one day (Azrin). Which I had already started to read. I did not do the doll thing but funny thing happened when we arrived at his friends house in big boy pants (hi insisted) but when I got him out of the car seat he was wet! Panic I had never been to this persons house. I didnt know if I should leave and go change him or not. But I went to her door told her what happened. She gave him so clothes and pullup and said how big boys don’t pee in their pants. The kids go play she gave me some old old cloth thick training pants and plastic pant to put over them. I havent seen them since I was a kid (37yrs. old). She said they worked for him he had to feel the wet and keep the wet ones on. Then my son comes runny down her hallway yelling how he has to go poop to come with him in the bathroom> Well I almost had a heart attack, my friend said great go to the bathroom and said to her son who has not been doing bm in the toilet either, Look what Joshua is a big boy he is going poop in the potty. So with that we were off and running and knock on wood, we have had all on the potty. Now I thought that would be the hardest part, Who knew? It came first for him. ANd the next day he asked to go potty 2 times in his 2 hour stay. I am so proud of him.. so I think he need the positive reaction from his friend and mom and of his teachers at school. Plus with peer pressure all were using the potty except 2 other children. So he is so proud and so is mom. And last nite he cried he didn;t want a pullup for bed. But he still wakes up with them wet. So I am still using them but I did switch to a least expensive and less absorbant than the other ones I was using and He gets up and goes to pee first thing!! I feel so much pressure has been released. For both of us . I really think It was a combo of things. Maybe to late I waited, Stubborness, not ready, not getting the sensation or knowing what to do when it came. I do believe a liitle slow motor skills had some play with it as well. But at least it is behind us know… Thank you all for everything.I really thought I was going to go crazy with this simple childhood task, Boy was I wrong.. All Kids Are Different for sure.. thanks from a mom in Peace at last… Keep in touch. I am sure there will be other mountains to climb along this journey of parenting for sure!!! AnnMarie :D :D

Have a GREAT week consolidating his big-boy skills!!!

When I first arrived at this forum, someone reminded us that we should remember with every roadblock to say: ‘This too, shall pass!’

I say it often…and IT IS TRUE!

You perked up my day!