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Problems getting your childs attention while misbehaving?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

:wink: Hello…I was hoping to find out if you experience these difficulties as well, before Dx.

My child is 4yro and is currently attending therapy for Auditory Processing Deficit. But her hyperactivity and constantly on the go..good and bad..is driving me nuts. Not to mention the turmiol she creates in the house. Her older siblings hate to stick around the house and find our household embarrasing to friends..(the 4yro) My husband and I find ourself 95% of the time telling her to stop something.

Currently I’m prepping, researching, to have other possible things checked out. (gotta go to PCP and get refferals..so I gotta go armed with info…I currently have been charting behaviors and sleep patterns…when she does sleep..LOL :roll: )I seriously think she is ODD/ADHD on top of the APD/CAPD.

Anyway….this morning is a typical morning but my nerves and patience is shot….she was just making one mess after another. I had to get a shower„I gotta bath sometime!!!! :lol: I just did a “PTA” and washed my head. 2min tops. I got out and she had water all over the floor where she brought her dolls and put them in the commode!!!!! ERRRRRRR :!:
I told her to quit dipping them in while I was trying to clean up the water, it’s like she doesn’t hear me, but she’ll argue with me..LOL..then I gave her a firm Swat on the fanny. (I normally try to redirect) All movement stopped for a second :shock: , imagine that!!!…then she was on to something else..IE: tourtoring the dog!!!!

Does this behavior sound familiar to any of you?

Thanks.
Binky

PS…Time out is a JOKE with this child…and she’ll continually do things that are not allowed even though I’m consistent with punishment..she just doesn’t get it.

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 08/18/2004 - 6:02 PM

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I got tired just reading about your morning!!! You have my sympathy!!

You say you are consistent in punishment but that her behavior is not impacted. I have a child like this so I know where you are coming from. One thing I have done that helps somewhat is ask him what he did wrong. Then you can be sure, at least, that she understands. What happens sometimes with my child is that he does so much that drives me nuts that he is not always sure why he is being punished….I mean it was the last thing that drove me over the edge but it is small to him. It allows for discussion, at least.

I think what is hard is establish a cause and effect relationship with a really difficult child. I remember one morning a couple years ago (my now 7 year old was 5) when he did something he knew he wasn’t supposed to do. He asked if he had to go to his room. I was tired and trying to get kids out of the house for school and I said no, but if you do it again. He told his brother, “we get one chance”. I often feel like I am being outsmarted!!!!

I have no magic answers or I would have figured out my own child by now!!!

Beth

Submitted by BINKY on Wed, 08/18/2004 - 7:08 PM

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:lol: I can relate to the feeling of being “outsmarted”.

But yet asked “why did you do that”..I get, “i didn’t do that, brother did”, even though he may not be home and the offense isn’t a 13yros doing..LOL Or she blames it on the dog!!! LOL (A+ given for effort and creativity..LOL) Even If I stand there and watch her do it„,she still blames it on someone else..LOL.
Funny now, typing this„„but on a continous/daily basis..many times a day…the behavior is feeding moms “nervous breakdown”..LOL :lol:

Thanks for the thoughts and understanding.
Binky

Submitted by marycas on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 2:33 AM

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I have heard great things about ‘1,2,3 Magic”, especially for kids your dds age.

I know some kids are more stubborn and defiant than the average joe or jane, but I do believe firm and consistent eventually win out.

I think NOT overexplaining is especially needed for kids with auditory processing issues or attention problems

No joke-after 4-5 words, I honestly think they hear “blah, blah, blah…”

They will learn better with visual cues and movement than with words. Insist she clean up the water mess-do a hand over hand if she balks-don’t lecture her(blah, blah,blah); next time engage her in a video or pull out a special occasion toy before you shower.

Anytime you do have to talk to her, get down to her level, insist on full eye contact and keep it VERY brief. Wait a full and painful 15 seconds after each sentence before you expect a response. Some kids with processing issues literally take that long to ‘get it’ and what are we doing? Invariably repeating what we just said after about 2 seconds :)

blah, blah,

Good luck!

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