mad wicked anxiety (dyscalculia related)

Get to know some of your classmates and talk to them, go for coffee, whatever. First of all that means when you speak in front of the group they will be a bunch of friendly faces, not threatening strangers. Secondly you will quickly find out that most of them are scared stiff too, and most of them have some kind of “problem” too. You can get outside yourself by seeing things from another person’s point of view.
And then, when something frightens you, put your ears back and go into it — after all what can happen to you? A few critical words, but you’re a grownup and can get over that. Once you face your fears and realize they are not really life-threatening, then you can conceou are saying.ntrate on what y

I can do stuff like read The Canterbury Tales in the form of English that Chaucer wrote it and transliterate it and all that like nothing, remember the whole thing and think of the odd philosophical or historical thought or two to go behind the odd argument or two that goes along with what all I think and all of that type of stuff. But, that is a curse I have and I am not all “show offy” or something…but if I sit with a group of my peers and just go for broke speaking of stuff like that (I can just almost become possessed and just think, man…like a computer or something with the literature and language front and I try not to do that sometimes and I have actually dumbed things down sometimes… but I cannot always help it) then I would leave a lot of my fellow students in the lurch and I know they would think ill of me and stuff. So, I am screwed in a surreal way because I am fair at this with the litearture but am almost scared of my abilites or something and speaking aloud.

Like the one other English class i take is of the “Forms of Poetry” and this class is taught by a real life poet named Mary Leader whose work I really like. But, I am not going to say that to the lady; “Oh hey I quite like your work!” That would be brown-nosing, eh? But, I take that and we work in groups and the students are all asking what a predicate is and stuff and I am all like writing analysis of poems that I cannot make reference to or would be though of as weird and a big egg head or something.

So, I do not know what to do and am not trying to sound like a baby. I am lucky that I live in the south where folks are as friendly and as formal as they are in Canada like where Victoria lives and stuff. But, I really need to learn what I can do to speak of what I can do academically when the occassion warrants. I can speak a bit to most folks; I have nop trouble with being assertive when i have to or just plain being friendly for the what for….but it is way hard for me to be like all that I can be with the academics in groups and stuff. I have an easier time working thorugh my mathematics even though it takes me forever in a day than I do with this like hyperlexia issue of my l.d.

So, y’all help me please.

p.s.
I am sorry for my typing but my hands are ice cold as I type this:)

You’re in school to learn academics and there is nothing wrong with having learned them! It’s not showing off to speak to the topic of the class. It becomes showing off if you take over the discussion and don’t let others speak, or if you make fun of someone or deliberately try to make them look stupid. But a correct answer to the point of the discussion is what you are there for!
One way you can make it less of a problem to your fellow students is to deliberately include them and recognize them and help them. “I like what Mary said about … and it reminds me of …” “You know, John, if you like that book, I know another you might like, it’s … and it also talks about …”

Yeah, I would never take over a discussion or put down my fellow students. Putting down my fellow students is something I would never do but I think that if I had more of a forthright manner in the casual set up this class has, then I could very well speak at great length about a thing or two and that would be selfish and take time away from others, which would in turn cause insult to my fellow classmates. I figure that getting an answer that is in keeping with the professor’s line of discussion is what we should aim for, yeah? But, I just can go to far and I know not of any logical recourse to take asides from dumbing my own self down or something and I am not one for that at all.
The biggest thing is that when I was a young lady I really hated to speak because I was not all too very articulate with regards to the manner in which I spoke and I was mocked for that and beat for that, now as an adult I feel like I am on the verge of getting beat when I speak before a group or something because I live in the American South and I way do not sound as if I do so that makes me feel shameful along with my abilites with language and letters. So I guess I get scared or something. What is odd is that I really have no trouble speaking with folks outside of a University classroom setting about anything and if I have to I can be very forthright in that regard because I am a big ‘ole lady with a resounding voice, even though I speak hella slow. So, I do not know what to do as yet.
I have been working on things that have impeded upon my growth as a young lady for a while now because I had a very abusive childhood and came up in the Child Protective Services and all of this good stuff, yeah? And, the one thing that I am having trouble with right now is this whole thing of just sitting in a group in the classroom and speaking my peace in my slow type of manner at my talmudic rate of retention and I hate being scared of such a thing, it is like I am scared of my “powers” and that is far out. So, a priest I shall call; Quaker though I may be:)
I do not know you, Victoria, but I appreciate you very much!